A/N: This is set after The Miller's Daughter episode.
Cold Water
All Regina wanted was to be left alone. To wallow in her own self pity without interruptions.
After Snow had tricked her into killing her own mother she had originally planned on preparing her revenge but her emotions of the day had caught up with her and instead she had drunk herself into a stupor in her study.
This went on for a couple of days. Regina had mostly stayed in her study, drinking and contemplating her life, only on occasion leaving the room for more alcohol. She had left her phone in the kitchen because she didn't want to be disturbed, not that she truly believed that anyone would try to contact her anyways.
She thought about everything that had happened to her and how it was so unfair that other people got a happy ending whereas she always ended up at the bottom of the barrel. Sure others would disagree since she had been Queen and Mayor but those titles lacked something that she yearned for. Love.
Regina couldn't blame Henry for his reactions towards her but it still hurt. It hurt knowing that the one person you love the most in the world does not love you back and thinks of you like a monster. It made Regina feel so hopeless. And then there was Emma. She had been so disappointed when Emma didn't believe her about not killing Dr. Hopper and then when Emma had told her that she had only invited her to the party because of Henry. Regina didn't really understand why she felt disappointed but she chalked it up to having another person not really care about her. Not that she had wanted Emma to care about her, but the idea did not completely repulse her either.
During her days of isolation a lot of thoughts had gone through Regina's mind. Most of the thoughts made no sense as she had been completely intoxicated but the few sober thoughts that Regina had scared her. Well, they scared her at first but they quickly began to make sense and soon enough Regina had convinced herself that no one needed her and she was better off dead.
After the fifth day Regina decided to go out for a walk. She took a long, hot shower and dressed in her usual Mayor like attire before heading out. It was dark by the time she got outside, but Regina didn't mind. That way people probably wouldn't pay her much mind.
She wandered aimlessly for awhile before letting her mind wander to darker places. Her earlier thoughts of being better off dead filled her mind. She stopped for a moment and glanced up at the night sky. It was a cloudy night and the moon could only be seen from time to time.
Sighing, Regina began to wander aimlessly again. However, this time her body subconsciously led her to the docks. Only when she heard the water hitting the nearby boats did Regina glance up from the ground and notice where she was. Her feet carried her towards the end of the dock but stopped right at the edge.
Regina just stared at the water, as if it could give her an answer as to what she should do. The water did not reply but Regina, in her already fragile state of mind, took that as someone else who did not care about her.
Since she was so caught up in her own thoughts she had not heard the voice yelling behind her. The noise hadn't registered at all with Regina, she was completely disconnected from reality, and then she jumped into the cold Maine water.
Regina didn't try to swim, she let her body to go limp and allowed the water to swallow her whole.
Although she was not submerged in the water for very long. It seemed that the person who had been calling to Regina had decided to rescue her. Once Regina was pulled onto the dock she started coughing up the water that she had inhaled and snapped back into reality.
"What the hell Regina?" Emma asked the shivering woman beside her. Regina looked up at her and was about to snap at the blonde before coughing up more water. Emma quickly held Regina and rubbed her back. Once Regina had gotten all of the water out of her she tried to free herself from Emma's grasp.
"Let me go Miss Swan," Regina demanded.
"No. I refuse to let go, because if I let go and you jump back into the water then I have to jump back in and frankly Regina, it's fucking freezing," Emma snapped back.
"Language Miss Swan," Regina muttered before giving up. She was too tired to fight against Emma and let herself be held by the blonde.
Emma was glad when Regina stopped moving, it meant that Emma controlled the situation whether Regina knew it or not.
"Regina, what happened?" Emma whispered carefully, not wanting to upset Regina.
"None of your business Sheriff," she snapped. Emma just held onto Regina tighter and placed her chin on Regina's shoulder.
"Okay," the blonde whispered back.
A chilly wind ripped through the air and Regina couldn't help but shiver. Her wet clothes hugged her body in an uncomfortable way and the wind made her quite cold.
"What were you doing here?" Regina asked.
"I was going out for a walk when I saw you. I haven't seen you since...well you know and I just wanted to see how you were. I called for you but you didn't answer," Emma responded.
When another wind came Regina tried to stand up but Emma kept her in place.
"Miss Swan it's cold outside and we are drenched. If we don't want to get sick perhaps we should head somewhere with heat?" Regina asked sharply.
"Oh, right. Okay then," Emma agreed.
She got up with Regina and linked their arms together. When Regina tried to pull away Emma just held on tighter and gave her a look that said that it wasn't negotiable. Regina sighed, giving up, and allowed Emma to guide them.
"When you jumped in Regina...you have no idea how much it scared me," Emma confessed to the woman she was holding onto.
"I'm very sorry dear. Next time I'll make sure that there is no one around that would be scared," Regina said back, words laced with sarcasm.
"No. No next time. Don't you dare," Emma said sternly. Regina glanced at Emma but said nothing. "Oh and by the way we're going to your house," she added.
It took them about twenty minutes before arriving on the front steps of the white house. Emma looked to Regina to open the doors with her keys but was surprised when Regina simply turned the knob and the door opened. She had never known Regina to leave her door unlocked, but she supposed if she didn't that she was ever going to be entering the house again why would she bother locking it.
Emma brought Regina up the stairs and then stopped, trying to figure out where the main bedroom was.
Sighing, Regina pulled Emma to their left to where Regina slept. When they entered it was exactly how Emma had imagined it. Pristine and immaculate. Nothing was out of place. Regina pulled her arm from Emma's and went into the closet to retrieve some dry clothes. Emma wasn't paying much attention but was quickly brought back when clothes were sent at her face.
Regina laughed at the fact that Emma hadn't caught the clothes and made her way into the bathroom.
"You may change out here Miss Swan, or wait to use the bathroom after me. Your choice," Regina said calmly, trying to regain some of her poise that she had held as the Mayor.
Emma nodded at Regina and started to change after Regina had closed the door. Her skin tight jeans that were hard enough to get off without being wet took a lot more effort than usual, as they stuck to her skin. Eventually she got them off and changed into the clothes Regina had given her quickly, just in time for Regina to open the door.
The black haired woman walked over to Emma and put her hand out. Emma gave her a confused look, since she didn't understand what Regina wanted.
"Your clothes Miss Swan," Regina said with a sigh. Emma bent down and handed Regina her clothes. Regina left the bedroom with their wet clothes in hand and Emma was close behind her. "I can do laundry by myself thank you very much," Regina snapped.
"I'm sure you can, but I've never seen your laundry room so I figured I would tag along," Emma lied. Regina scoffed at the blonde's poor excuse but kept going.
Once she had put their clothes into the dryer the two stood there rather awkwardly. Neither knew what to say.
"Um, do you want to go sit down in the study or whatever?" Emma asked casually. Regina's eyes widened before blurting out no. Emma gave her a weird look at the sudden outburst. "Why not?" When Regina didn't answer Emma decided to go see why Regina didn't want them up there.
Emma raced away back up the stairs and searched for the room that she had first been in when she had brought Henry back from Boston. Regina was running after her as well, she did not want Emma to see the mess that was in the study. She hadn't cleaned up from her wallowing and she knew that it was going to look awful.
When Emma finally reached the study she stopped just inside of the room. Regina hadn't had time to stop herself and ran right into Emma. They both fell onto the floor, Regina on top of Emma. Regina heard Emma groan and the black haired woman quickly rose to inspect the damage she had done to the Savior.
"Are you okay?" Regina asked, truly concerned if she had hurt the woman.
"Better than you," Emma replied back, gesturing to the study. There were empty alcohol bottles everywhere, and tissues everywhere as well. "Come on," Emma said, standing up. "Let's sit down," she said as she brought Regina onto the couch. Emma moved the two empty wine bottles that were placed on the couch onto the ground and let Regina choose which side to sit on.
There it was again. The silence. Regina didn't want to speak, and Emma just didn't know what words she should say. She did not want to upset Regina but she did want to understand why Regina had jumped into the water earlier.
"So were you having a party here?" Emma asked jokingly, trying to break the ice. Regina glared at her in response. "Okay, I'll take that as a no."
"Miss Swan please, no one wants to hear your insufferable, lame jokes," Regina stated.
"Hmpf," Emma said, trying to sound hurt. "Fine then. If you don't want to hear my amazing jokes," Emma said, putting emphasis on the word amazing. "Then you can tell me what the hell happened to you,"
"Your mother happened to me Miss Swan. She takes everything away from me. All I wanted was my happy ending, but your mother is always there to take it away," Regina spat. Emma gave her a questioning look and Regina continued. "First she broke a promise that resulted in the death of someone I loved and now she tricked me into killing another person that I loved," Regina explained.
"Wait. I don't understand, what do you mean?" Emma asked as she moved closer to Regina.
"I saved your mother's live so in gratitude her father, the King, asked for my hand in marriage. My mother accepted on my behalf and that was that. It didn't matter that I was already in love with someone else, I was still expected to marry the King," Regina answered.
She paused for a moment. Regina always found it hard to talk about her past, and Daniel was always the hardest thing to talk about. So she never did talk about him, until now.
"I was in love with Daniel, our stable boy. My mother would have never allowed Daniel and I to be together had she known, but she soon had her say. One day, Daniel and I were in the stables and we decided to run away together. Snow White caught us kissing and ran off. I ran after her and I explained to her that I loved Daniel very much and that she could not say a word of what she saw to anyone. Especially my mother," Regina took a breath and her hand began to shake slightly.
Emma noticed Regina's hand and quickly grasped in with her own. With her thumb she rubbed soothing circles on the back on Regina's hand, showing her silent support. Regina glanced down at their hands but made no attempt to move.
"Your mother broke her promise. My mother found Daniel and I in the stables and ripped out his heart right in front of me. She crushed it and I just..." Regina trailed off.
The tears were falling from Regina's eyes and no matter how hard she tried to stop them she couldn't. Emma brought Regina close to her and enveloped her in her hands. At first Regina stiffened but soon allowed herself to be held.
They stayed like that until Regina had finished crying. Regina sniffled a couple of times and grabbed the tissue box that was on the table in front of them.
"Thank you Regina," Emma said truthfully. "Mary Mar...I mean Snow, didn't tell me that. She and Dav...Charming just keep saying that you always had it out for Mary Mar...Snow...oh whatever!" Emma said, giving up.
"Of course they didn't. Makes me seem less human if no one knows that I loved someone. Makes it easier to say that I can never change," Regina hissed out. "And then she tricks me into killing my own mother! Sure she regrets it but everyone is giving her a second chance aren't they? They're coddling her when she doesn't deserve it!"
Emma stayed silent as Regina let out her anger. Only when it was quiet yet again did Emma speak.
"I agree with you Regina. It's not fair, and I'm truly sorry for everything that has happened to you. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you when you said that you didn't kill Dr. Hopper, and I'm sorry for saying that Henry was my son because he isn't. He's our son," Emma got out. Regina looked at her with surprise in her eyes. She hadn't been expecting this at all.
"Finally I receive an apology," Regina laughed, showing that she was trying to loosen up their serious conversation. Emma playfully pushed her arm and laughed with her, but then she realized what Regina was doing and became serious again.
"Oh no you don't. Nice try Regina but the serious talk is not over yet," Emma stated. Regina rolled her eyes at the Savior but didn't object. "I understand that a lot of shitty things have happened to you, and that you think it would be easier to just not deal with the unfairness but Regina there are other people that you have to think about," at that comment Regina scoffed. "No it's true. Henry loves you Regina, no matter what you've done he still loves you. He misses you terribly but he's a child and is only seeing this in black and white. Kind of like how Snow and Charming are seeing it."
"Miss Swan, I know that you are trying to help but I don't believe that Henry actually misses me. He has you and the two idiots, and he seems to want that more than me. I can't exactly blame him can I? Who would want to be with the Evil Queen when you could be with the Charmings?" Regina spat.
"I would," Emma said almost silently.
"Pardon me dear?" Regina asked.
"I would rather be with you than the Charmings," Emma confessed.
To say that Regina was confused would be an understatement. She was sure that she had heard Emma wrong.
"Why would you possibly want that?" Regina asked softly. Secretly she was so happy at what Emma had said but part of her was still skeptical that this was a trick to get Regina to reveal more things about herself.
"For one your house is a lot bigger than the apartment," at that Regina couldn't help but laugh. "Also the conversation with you is intriguing and keeps me alert. Your presence is calming to me and makes me feel safe, but most of all..." Emma trailed off and bit her lip. Not sure of how to say the next part.
"Most of all?" Regina inquired, very much interested in what Emma had to say.
"This," the blonde said before closing the distance between them and kissing Regina.
At first Regina was shocked but soon responded to the kiss, pulling Emma on top of her as their kiss deepened.
They continued kissing for quite some time, both content with what was happening. Regina finally understood why she had cared what Emma thought about her, and Emma was happy to have finally had the guts to kiss Regina. She had realized and accepted her attraction to the ex Mayor long ago and was so glad to know that Regina felt something towards her as well.
Emma slowly pulled away from Regina. Regina groaned at the loss of contact and stared into Emma's beautiful eyes. The blonde used her right hand to cup Regina's face and stroke her jaw with her thumb.
"This was why I was so scared when you jumped Regina. I couldn't bear the thought of you not being here. The thought of never being able to kiss you," Emma said softly to Regina. The black haired woman gave a small, sad smile before giving Emma a quick peck on the lips.
"Perhaps if you had kissed me earlier you never would have seen me jump," Regina said, looking at Emma with a longing gaze.
Emma rested her forehead on Regina's and let out a sigh.
"I really, really want to keep kissing you Regina but-" Regina cut Emma off.
"But you're exhausted, just like am I. Don't worry, we can kiss more tomorrow," Regina promised, which made a smirk appear on Emma's face. "Come on," Regina said, slowly getting off the couch and bringing Emma up with her. "Let's go to bed."
Emma followed Regina into the main bedroom and slid underneath the covers as soon as she saw the bed. Regina laughed at the blonde's impatience for sleep but said nothing as she slid in next to her.
"We aren't done talking about what you did tonight Regina," Emma said lazily, with her eyes already shut. Regina smiled at the sight of Emma and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.
"Go to sleep Miss Swan," she said softly, closing her eyes as well.
"Emma," the blonde said groggily.
"Go to sleep Emma."
A/N: One-shot for now, but let me know in the reviews if you want me to continue and I just might. Thanks for reading :)