The leaves crunched almost painfully beneath my soft shoes as I sped
through the forest, my massive silver dragon wings folded neatly across my
back.
He's gone, I told myself over and over again, he's been
gone for months now. Get over it; you need to feed.
But a small voice in the back of my mind always
contradicted what I told myself. It insisted that he was
alive somewhere.
A sharp pain in my side made me stumble and fall to my
knees, gasping for breath. The blood burned in my veins and
my vision swam, but I refused to give in.
"I will not!" I yelled, "I won't kill her!"
My heartbeat pounded in my ears, but a smaller, softer
heartbeat could be heard with it. I rested my hands on my
stomach and smiled faintly. "I won't kill you..."
Another spasm of pain hit me like a rock and I clung to
a nearby tree to keep from falling on my face. I could feel
her life slipping through my fingers like grains of sand, and
I was powerless to stop it.
I needed to feed.
"I...won't..." I murmured, grabbing a fistful of grass and
tugging on it to take my mind off the pain.
A girl, seemingly a weak squirrel demon, wandered by me
and stopped. "Miss?" she asked, kneeling next to me, "Miss,
are you okay?"
I turned to her, the hunger burning brightly in my
eyes. Without thinking I latched onto her and gave in to my
vampire instinct. Before I knew it she was dead, and I had
gotten to my feet, breathing heavily with a crazed look in my
eye.
When I realized what I had done, the tears welled up in
my eyes almost instantaneously. "No..." I strained my ears for
the small heartbeat that beat in time with my own. Nothing
could be heard. "No!"
In a split second I had unfolded my wings and was
driving myself to my fastest speed to make it to my father's
territory.
"Please," I begged silently, "Please just let her
live..."
The tears stung my eyes as the freezing wind bombarded
me in waves of ice and water. The large brazen doors leading
into the Great Hall held no fear for me; I rammed straight
into them and they flew open, slamming into the stone walls
and making large indentions.
"Father!" I called helplessly, "FATHER!"
Yelling could be heard at the end of the hallway and I
knew my father had just walked out of a meeting. His long
silver hair billowed out behind him as he ran down the
hallway and caught me just as I fell into his arms. My wings
were still fluttering like a trapped bird's.
"Tenshiryu, what is wrong with you?" he asked in shock,
holding my shoulders and looking me in the eyes.
I shook my head, not able to stop the tears from
flowing. "I killed her, Father! I killed her!!"
His face took on more of a scared look as I spoke. "It
is as I feared..." he murmured, then turned sharply. "Where are
the healers? Get them into my quarters at once!"
Everything fell into a giant frenzy as Father tried to
clear a path to his chambers while carrying me. I was
oblivious to everything and trying in vain to hear the small
heartbeat.
I remember being laid gently down onto Raizen's bed and
examined by the healers, and then they gave me some strange
potion that put me to sleep.
As my vision dimmed and I slipped into the dark
recesses of unconsciousness, one thought raced through my
mind.
Save her...save my child...
When I awoke, the first thing that came to mind was Cloud. I
jumped eagerly out of my father's bed, ready to go find that
baka human and spend time with him.
But then the last few months returned to me.
Cloud was dead.
The rain would never stop.
I had to feed.
My child was dead.
My child was dead.
I looked down at myself to find a large cut across my stomach
where the healers had operated, I suppose. It was stitched up
now, but I could still see wet blood on it.
Raizen stood up from a large chair he had been napping in and
walked over to me with tears in his eyes. "Tenshiryu..." he
said brokenly.
I stared at him blankly before realizing what he was trying
to tell me. "Father..." the tears came to my eyes. I knew what
he was going to say. "Father, where is my daughter?"
He averted his gaze. "We couldn't save her, my Tenshi..."
I fell to my knees right there, leaning my head against the
side of his bed and trying to comprehend what he had said.
"Wh-What did you do with her?" I asked as calmly as I could.
Raizen motioned to one of the healers to step forward. He was
carrying a small figure wrapped in a white cloth and he
handed it to my father.
I gently took the figure from Raizen and folded back the
cloth, revealing a small baby girl. Her hair was long and
blonde, already down to her shoulders, and sapphire-blue eyes
stared straight ahead into nothingness, never to see
anything. Small silver dragon wings protruded from her back,
the bones not yet hardened so that they would remain folded
until the child's fourth year. They would never unfold now.
She would never fly with the wings she had inherited from her
mother. She would never see out of the sapphire blue eyes she
had gotten from her father.
And I had killed her.
I handed my daughter to one of the healers and stepped out
into an empty hallway, head in my hands. Raizen joined me.
"Tenshiryu, it's going to be okay-"
"No, it's not..." I said softly, "The child was ours, mine
and...Cloud's. She was all I had left of him. Now she is gone,
and I killed her."
Father stared at me strangely. "Tenshi, you didn't kill her.
The reason probably had to do with her being a half-demon
inside you, a demon's, body. She couldn't handle your blood."
"That's not it," I cried, "It's because I'm a vampire! The
blood of other demons that I have to drink to survive killed
her!"
Raizen blinked a few times. "You fed while you were
pregnant?"
"The hunger was killing me, Father. Already I hadn't fed for
a month while I was with Cloud." I stumbled over the name, "I
tried to fight it, but I couldn't."
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. "It's
okay, my Tenshi. We can try to save her."
My eyes brightened. "You can?"
"There might be a way, but it will take quite some time." He
answered. "I have already ordered the healers to take your
daughter to Mukuro's regeneration tanks."
I flinched when he used that name. "Mukuro...and Yomi. Are they
here?"
Two figures stepped out from behind a corner. One of them,
with long black hair and multiple ears, smiled and nodded.
"We were called while you were sleeping, Tenshiryu-San."
I closed my eyes and a few tears trickled down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry..."
Yomi's smile softened and he rested a hand on my shoulder.
"There was nothing you could have done. You would have died."
"Died that she might have lived," I said softly, "I would
have made that sacrifice."
Mukuro snorted. "A sacrifice for a half-demon? I can't
believe you would consider such a thing."
"You don't know what it's like, you insolent lapdog!" I
snapped, "You don't know what it's like to lose someone you
love!"
Raizen turned his head away and closed his eyes. He knew. His
human lover had died of old age and my mother had passed away
while giving birth to me.
Mukuro looked too shocked for words. "I-I'm sorry, Tenshiryu-
San." She replied, "I'm still mourning for Cloud, that's
all."
She was silent. I think, for the very first time, it hit her
how much I really had loved Cloud. Yomi stroked her hair
slowly. "I think we'd better go, Koibito." He turned to me,
"I am very sorry for your daughter, Tenshiryu-San. I would
have liked to have a granddaughter."
Raizen punched his friend in the shoulder. "To prove how
ancient you are, eh, old man?"
Yomi grinned. "You know as well as I that you are my elder,
you shriveled old prune!"
Mukuro sighed. "Yes, we'd better be off. Come on, Yomi-Kun,"
she said flatly, grabbing his arm and taking her leave. After
a few steps, though, she turned slightly and said to me over
her shoulder, "If you could tell me one thing, Tenshiryu-
San..."
I nodded. "What?"
"What were you going to name her?"
"Shimura. It means "Miracle" in the Dragonic language." I
answered softly, "Because she was a miracle, sent down to
Cloud and I by Agrothlin himself, I'm sure of it."
Mukuro smiled and turned once more, leading her husband by
the arm down the long hallway and out of the castle.
My smile faded quickly. "Yes, she was going to be a miracle..."
Raizen smiled and stroked my hair a few times. "It's okay, my
Tenshi. Everything's going to be okay."
I looked up at him with my piercing golden gaze. "I really
hope so."
And with that I was gone once more, erased from the Makai
Court again.
Within a month I had attempted suicide by several different
means, but none worked. I continued to come back to life over
and over again against my will. A rumor traveled around the
Makai that I WAS dead, so I decided to play along with it and
keep a low profile for a while. Maybe go and pay a visit to
my dear old friends Hiku and Adura.
Eventually I forgot about my Shimura, her being in the
regeneration tanks, but her father never left my thoughts.
Never for a split second.
through the forest, my massive silver dragon wings folded neatly across my
back.
He's gone, I told myself over and over again, he's been
gone for months now. Get over it; you need to feed.
But a small voice in the back of my mind always
contradicted what I told myself. It insisted that he was
alive somewhere.
A sharp pain in my side made me stumble and fall to my
knees, gasping for breath. The blood burned in my veins and
my vision swam, but I refused to give in.
"I will not!" I yelled, "I won't kill her!"
My heartbeat pounded in my ears, but a smaller, softer
heartbeat could be heard with it. I rested my hands on my
stomach and smiled faintly. "I won't kill you..."
Another spasm of pain hit me like a rock and I clung to
a nearby tree to keep from falling on my face. I could feel
her life slipping through my fingers like grains of sand, and
I was powerless to stop it.
I needed to feed.
"I...won't..." I murmured, grabbing a fistful of grass and
tugging on it to take my mind off the pain.
A girl, seemingly a weak squirrel demon, wandered by me
and stopped. "Miss?" she asked, kneeling next to me, "Miss,
are you okay?"
I turned to her, the hunger burning brightly in my
eyes. Without thinking I latched onto her and gave in to my
vampire instinct. Before I knew it she was dead, and I had
gotten to my feet, breathing heavily with a crazed look in my
eye.
When I realized what I had done, the tears welled up in
my eyes almost instantaneously. "No..." I strained my ears for
the small heartbeat that beat in time with my own. Nothing
could be heard. "No!"
In a split second I had unfolded my wings and was
driving myself to my fastest speed to make it to my father's
territory.
"Please," I begged silently, "Please just let her
live..."
The tears stung my eyes as the freezing wind bombarded
me in waves of ice and water. The large brazen doors leading
into the Great Hall held no fear for me; I rammed straight
into them and they flew open, slamming into the stone walls
and making large indentions.
"Father!" I called helplessly, "FATHER!"
Yelling could be heard at the end of the hallway and I
knew my father had just walked out of a meeting. His long
silver hair billowed out behind him as he ran down the
hallway and caught me just as I fell into his arms. My wings
were still fluttering like a trapped bird's.
"Tenshiryu, what is wrong with you?" he asked in shock,
holding my shoulders and looking me in the eyes.
I shook my head, not able to stop the tears from
flowing. "I killed her, Father! I killed her!!"
His face took on more of a scared look as I spoke. "It
is as I feared..." he murmured, then turned sharply. "Where are
the healers? Get them into my quarters at once!"
Everything fell into a giant frenzy as Father tried to
clear a path to his chambers while carrying me. I was
oblivious to everything and trying in vain to hear the small
heartbeat.
I remember being laid gently down onto Raizen's bed and
examined by the healers, and then they gave me some strange
potion that put me to sleep.
As my vision dimmed and I slipped into the dark
recesses of unconsciousness, one thought raced through my
mind.
Save her...save my child...
When I awoke, the first thing that came to mind was Cloud. I
jumped eagerly out of my father's bed, ready to go find that
baka human and spend time with him.
But then the last few months returned to me.
Cloud was dead.
The rain would never stop.
I had to feed.
My child was dead.
My child was dead.
I looked down at myself to find a large cut across my stomach
where the healers had operated, I suppose. It was stitched up
now, but I could still see wet blood on it.
Raizen stood up from a large chair he had been napping in and
walked over to me with tears in his eyes. "Tenshiryu..." he
said brokenly.
I stared at him blankly before realizing what he was trying
to tell me. "Father..." the tears came to my eyes. I knew what
he was going to say. "Father, where is my daughter?"
He averted his gaze. "We couldn't save her, my Tenshi..."
I fell to my knees right there, leaning my head against the
side of his bed and trying to comprehend what he had said.
"Wh-What did you do with her?" I asked as calmly as I could.
Raizen motioned to one of the healers to step forward. He was
carrying a small figure wrapped in a white cloth and he
handed it to my father.
I gently took the figure from Raizen and folded back the
cloth, revealing a small baby girl. Her hair was long and
blonde, already down to her shoulders, and sapphire-blue eyes
stared straight ahead into nothingness, never to see
anything. Small silver dragon wings protruded from her back,
the bones not yet hardened so that they would remain folded
until the child's fourth year. They would never unfold now.
She would never fly with the wings she had inherited from her
mother. She would never see out of the sapphire blue eyes she
had gotten from her father.
And I had killed her.
I handed my daughter to one of the healers and stepped out
into an empty hallway, head in my hands. Raizen joined me.
"Tenshiryu, it's going to be okay-"
"No, it's not..." I said softly, "The child was ours, mine
and...Cloud's. She was all I had left of him. Now she is gone,
and I killed her."
Father stared at me strangely. "Tenshi, you didn't kill her.
The reason probably had to do with her being a half-demon
inside you, a demon's, body. She couldn't handle your blood."
"That's not it," I cried, "It's because I'm a vampire! The
blood of other demons that I have to drink to survive killed
her!"
Raizen blinked a few times. "You fed while you were
pregnant?"
"The hunger was killing me, Father. Already I hadn't fed for
a month while I was with Cloud." I stumbled over the name, "I
tried to fight it, but I couldn't."
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. "It's
okay, my Tenshi. We can try to save her."
My eyes brightened. "You can?"
"There might be a way, but it will take quite some time." He
answered. "I have already ordered the healers to take your
daughter to Mukuro's regeneration tanks."
I flinched when he used that name. "Mukuro...and Yomi. Are they
here?"
Two figures stepped out from behind a corner. One of them,
with long black hair and multiple ears, smiled and nodded.
"We were called while you were sleeping, Tenshiryu-San."
I closed my eyes and a few tears trickled down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry..."
Yomi's smile softened and he rested a hand on my shoulder.
"There was nothing you could have done. You would have died."
"Died that she might have lived," I said softly, "I would
have made that sacrifice."
Mukuro snorted. "A sacrifice for a half-demon? I can't
believe you would consider such a thing."
"You don't know what it's like, you insolent lapdog!" I
snapped, "You don't know what it's like to lose someone you
love!"
Raizen turned his head away and closed his eyes. He knew. His
human lover had died of old age and my mother had passed away
while giving birth to me.
Mukuro looked too shocked for words. "I-I'm sorry, Tenshiryu-
San." She replied, "I'm still mourning for Cloud, that's
all."
She was silent. I think, for the very first time, it hit her
how much I really had loved Cloud. Yomi stroked her hair
slowly. "I think we'd better go, Koibito." He turned to me,
"I am very sorry for your daughter, Tenshiryu-San. I would
have liked to have a granddaughter."
Raizen punched his friend in the shoulder. "To prove how
ancient you are, eh, old man?"
Yomi grinned. "You know as well as I that you are my elder,
you shriveled old prune!"
Mukuro sighed. "Yes, we'd better be off. Come on, Yomi-Kun,"
she said flatly, grabbing his arm and taking her leave. After
a few steps, though, she turned slightly and said to me over
her shoulder, "If you could tell me one thing, Tenshiryu-
San..."
I nodded. "What?"
"What were you going to name her?"
"Shimura. It means "Miracle" in the Dragonic language." I
answered softly, "Because she was a miracle, sent down to
Cloud and I by Agrothlin himself, I'm sure of it."
Mukuro smiled and turned once more, leading her husband by
the arm down the long hallway and out of the castle.
My smile faded quickly. "Yes, she was going to be a miracle..."
Raizen smiled and stroked my hair a few times. "It's okay, my
Tenshi. Everything's going to be okay."
I looked up at him with my piercing golden gaze. "I really
hope so."
And with that I was gone once more, erased from the Makai
Court again.
Within a month I had attempted suicide by several different
means, but none worked. I continued to come back to life over
and over again against my will. A rumor traveled around the
Makai that I WAS dead, so I decided to play along with it and
keep a low profile for a while. Maybe go and pay a visit to
my dear old friends Hiku and Adura.
Eventually I forgot about my Shimura, her being in the
regeneration tanks, but her father never left my thoughts.
Never for a split second.