SPOILER ALERT for book three! DO NOT READ!
Hey I'm WhySoComplex! I really didn't like the last book of the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Well, I did, but I didn't like the ending. 'Cus Nathaniel died. So I wrote this because many of the stories with Nathaniel and Kitty are sad and do not capture the humor in the books. In some of them Bartimaeus is out of character! So I'm like, you know, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. Well, enjoy!
IMPORTANT NOTE: This story starts right before Nathaniel and Bartimaeus are about to kill Nouda.
Bartimaeus
Bartimaeus… The thought was very faint.
Yes?
You've been a good servant…
What do you say to something like this? I mean, with death bearing down and a 5,000 year career of incomparable accomplishment about to hit the fan? The appropriate response, frankly, is some sort of a rude gesture, followed up by the loudest of raspberries, but again I was stymied- being in his body made the logistics too cumbersome to bother with.(1)So, wearily, wishing we had some kind of maudlin sound track, I played along. Well, um, you've been just dandy too.
(1)Well, try giving yourself a rude gesture. It just doesn't work, does it?
I didn't say you were perfect…
What?
Far from it. Let's face it, you've generally managed to cock things up.
WHAT? The bloody cheek! Insults, at a time like this! With death bearing down, etc. I ask you. I rolled up my metaphorical sleeves. Well, since we're doing some straight talking, let me tell you buddy—
Which is why I'm dismissing you right now.
Eh? But I hadn't misheard. I knew I hadn't. I could read his mind.
Don't take it the wrong way… His thought was fragmented, fleeting, but his mouth was already murmuring the spell. It's just that… we've got to break the Staff at the right moment here. You're holding it in check. But I can't rely on you for something as important as this. You're bound to mess up somehow. Best thing is… best thing is to dismiss you. That'll trigger the Staff automatically. Then I KNOW it'll be done properly.
Nathaniel—
Say hello to Kitty for me.
Then Nouda was upon us. Mouths opened, tentacles slashed down. Nathaniel finished the dismissal. I felt the tug to leave to the Other Place.
I fought the tug.
All of us essence beings know that it is impossible to resist the tug. But I had had practice. (2) I fought the tug and got one of my extremely special brilliant ideas. With all my remaining strength, I tossed the staff at Nouda and leaped a powerful and extraordinary leap backwards. Old Natty really owed me big time now.
(2) With my only other time trying back in the good days with Ptolemy. Long story. Remind me to tell you sometime.
I couldn't resist the tug anymore. I left. The Staff broke.
Let me know how it was! I know how hard it can be to review when you are lazy(3) but please take the time to do so. Please? I'll post another chapter soon. This one was short, but… oh well. The others will be longer.
(3)I know from experience. Wow now I'm using footnotes too. Good ol' Bart.
Have a nice day!