Once upon a time, there was this magical thing. This magical was called The Internet. Why it was called that, I have no idea. Anyway, let's get onto the real reason why we're talking about this.

There was this little boy, his name was Craig Tucker, and boy, he was about to discover the wonderful stuff that the internet stored.

So, one day, he was surfing the web, like a good little boy... okay, that's a total lie. He was surfing' it, but he was looking for something Cartman had told him about earlier: the magical chocolate chip dog. He didn't know if this shit was real, but he wanted to see if it was anyway. Shut up, he was curious!

After browsing for a little while, he came to the answer that there was no magical chocolate chip dog that pees without washing his paws, turns off lights or licks your lucky charms and then puts them back. Seriously, that would be awesome if there was.

Then, all of a sudden, a pretty hot pink pop-up... popped up. It had this chick on it, who kinda looked like an older version of Bebe, but like, with gigantic tits that were totally bigger then her head. They were fully exposed to Craig's innocent eyes, and he wondered what the hell he was staring at. Well, he knew what he was staring at, he just didn't know how to respond to it.

In the back of the room, there was this blue fairy. Her name was Kerri. Hey! That rhythmed! Anyway, Kerri has control over everything that happens in the story; even more control then the narrator! Well, yeah, whatever.

So, with a flick of her wrist and a wave of her wand, she gave Craig a perverted mind, just for the hell of it.

Right at that second, Craig's hand flew to his.. uh, wait, this is suppose to be PG rated, or at least close to it. Let's just say the raven haired boy knows how to ride his cowboy. Wait. That makes no sense. Oh well, you know he was jacking off, and that's all that matters.

He was making all these moaning and groaning sounds, while magically, his parents weren't home. But someone else was. Gasp.

All of a sudden, Stan Marsh appeared out of nowhere and walked into Craig's house without knocking because he thought that Craig wouldn't be up at five pm. Oh, yeah, cause everyone sleeps in as late as Cartman does. And he only does cause he's a fat and ugly bastard, or hi(don't ask). Ha.

"Craig!" He gasped, "W-what are you doing!?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He said angrily between pants, "I'm jacking off you retard!"

"Er, what's that?" Stan asked.

The blue fairy wasn't going to try and explain what that was to all the people reading this, so she flicked her wrist and magic wand again and all of a sudden, Stan had the same type Craig had.

Yeah, cool.

And so, the rest of the day Craig and Stan had hot sweaty man sex, with no parents around because if they were around, it'd totally ruin the story and you know, everyone else's stories don't have them, so I wanna seem cool too you know. And since they're nine years old, and not sixteen, they should really be at home with parents but--screw that!

Stan gave Craig many bj's because he was being unloyal to Kyle.

And the red haired Jew never found out.

...Until a week later, when Kenny brought over a video of Craig and Stan doing all this shit.
And this is why no one under the age of thirteen should be on the internet.

THE END.

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Who thinks I should write more of this random shit?
xD