For those of you that have meandered on over here from "Wonderwall", hopefully this fic will eventually answer all your questions about the twins that "Wonderwall" raised, and hopefully in half the number of chapters. For those of you that haven't, I suggest you do if you want to see the prank that this chapter mostly centres around. You don't really need to have read any other fics to get this one, though I hope you end up liking my writing enough to do so anyway.

This will eventually be RatchetXTwins, but not for a few more chaps. I'm probably one of the few who liked this pairing BEFORE seeing ryagelle's lovely fics. But no matter.

"Transformers" © Hasbro and Takara. I am neither Hasbro nor Takara, just so we're clear. I'm also not Billy Joel, who owns the song this fic is titled after.

oOo

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy, than it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way

oOo

"No! No, please, no!" He could feel the hands pawing at him, pinning him down, forcing panels open. It happened a lot more than he would have liked. And he lived in constant dread of when it would happen again, as it inevitably would.

"Shut up and take it like a grown mech!"

"But I'm not a grown mec – "

"I said shut up!" One hand moved from painfully jerking at his wires to smack him across the face-plate. Had he not been held in place, he would have toppled across the room.

"Sideswipe!" A third voice, coming from behind a locked door. Tiny fists pounding said door.

"Don't worry, dear Sunstreaker," that sickeningly smooth voice told the door, "your turn will come soon enough."

"No…" Sideswipe muttered weakly. If there was one thing he hated worse than taking it, it was being locked in the dark closet having to listen to his brother taking it.

"Sideswipe! Sideswipe!"

oOo

"Sideswipe!"

"What?" Sideswipe onlined his optics groggily as he was forced out of sleep by his brother. "What… what happened?"

"It was a dream, stupid," Sunstreaker glared down at his brother, then felt his spark drop in its chamber at the pitiful expression on the red twins' face. "I had to wake you up. I could feel everything you felt, you know."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"Okay… and if you tell anyone I apologised, I'll paint little purple kittens all over your chassis."

Sunstreaker's optics blazed. "Y-you wouldn't dare! Are you aware that purple is directly opposite all yellow-ish hues on the colour wheel!?"

"Why do you think I chose purple?"

"If I had the energy levels for it, I'd smack you for that."

"Moi?" Sideswipe looked at his brother innocently, wishing momentarily that he had some eyelashes to bat. Sunstreaker huffed and opened his mouth to deliver a reply, but was interrupted by the pounding on the door:

"Sideswipe? Sunstreaker? Are you two okay? I was just on my way to my room and I thought I heard yelling and – "

Sideswipe sighed and opened the door, allowing the chatty little Datsun into the room. "We're fine, Blue. Just had another nightmare. They happen periodically."

"A nightmare?" Bluestreak sympathised, as he knew what that could be like. "Oh, no, I'm so sorry to hear that! Are you two okay? Do you need to talk about it? Sometimes it helps me to talk about mine, even if I don't always want to, but it really does help in the end, and you know that I'll be here to listen and I won't ever tell anybody what you said and – "

"Can it, kid," Sunstreaker cut him off. "We can deal. We don't need to talk."

Bluestreak gaped indignantly. "I-I'm not a kid!"

"What were you doing out of your room this late?" Sideswipe interrupted before the two could start an argument. Starting arguments was his job.

"Well, I was in the med bay. I couldn't sleep all alone in my room knowing that Hound was hurt, so I've been recharging in there waiting for Ratchet to at least get him stabilised. I was so worried. Mirage and Ratchet already yelled at me for it, though, so I don't need any scolding from you."

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe exchanged glances, and the golden twin asked, "Mirage yelled at you? Prick…" They could deal with Ratchet yelling, as it was all he ever did anyway, but Mirage didn't have much right to berate poor Bluestreak.

"I don't mind. I think he was just really worried, and it put him in a bad mood and I was just an easy target. And I forgave Ratchet too, as he hasn't recharged in nearly a full orn! Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's still been a really long time. He just about collapsed when he finished with Hound – oh, Hound says hi, by the way – anyway, Ratchet's gonna get sick or something if he doesn't start recharging regularly, you know? I mean he's the medic, not me, but still, I worry about him sometimes…"

"Hold up," Sideswipe put up a hand to silence his favourite Datsun. "So, Hatchet hasn't slept in a really long time, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't see wh– "

"And you're saying he just recently fell asleep, which means he should be in deep recharge for a long time. Right?"

"Well, yeah, but – "

"Sunstreaker," Sideswipe turned to face his brother, a dangerous expression crossing his face. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

A sly smirk slowly spread across Sunstreaker's face. "I wasn't, but now I am."

"Uh, guys?" Bluestreak's door-wings twitched. "Guys, you know I don't like when you two get that look on your faces. Nothing good ever comes of it, and there's no way I'm covering for you again, because I don't like Prowl being mad at me, especially after all he's done for me. What are you planning?"

"Bluestreak," Sideswipe paused before answering the gunner's inquiry, "do you remember a couple Earth-months back, when we had that conversation about how even with the most basic in medical training, it'd be possible to give a mech's chassis the curves of a femme's?"

"Well, yeah, but that wasn't you who I talked about it with, it was Sunstreaker, and even so, I don't see what that has to do with Ratche– oh." His door-wings drooped. "Oh. Sideswipe, you wouldn't."

Sideswipe grinned. "Wouldn't what?"

"No! I'm not falling for the whole 'wouldn't what' thing again. You just want me to say what you're thinking so you can place blame on me later!"

"Blue, I wouldn't dream of it!" Sideswipe made a show of feigning shock.

"And besides," Sunstreaker added, "we certainly aren't falling back into recharge anytime soon. Don't worry about it, Bluestreak."

"Want us to walk you to your room?"

"O-okay…"

oOo

"You know what you have to do, right?" Sunstreaker, waiting faithfully in the room for Sideswipe to return, asked his friend, rival, and fellow prima donna, Tracks.

The Firebird scoffed, as he was so apt to do. "You insult my intelligence, Sunstreaker. Of course I know what to do. You only told me five hundred times."

"Go!" the door burst open and Sideswipe ran in, plopping down between his brother and Tracks, somehow removing the stolen chevron from his head in the process. "Gogogogo! Hurry, before he follows me!"

"Relax. It's washable paint. It comes right off with water."

Sunstreaker and Tracks, being the vainest Autobots in the Ark, were extremely meticulous in not only getting all the washable white paint off of Sideswipe, but also beginning to shine the not-so-washable, waterproof red coat. Which is precisely what they were doing a few breems later when the seething lilac-coloured "femme" threw open the door with a kind of force that can only stem from anger.

"Give me back my chevron and my wrench. Now," the "femme" spat. In Ratchet's voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sideswipe slipped a hand into Tracks's, making sure Ratchet saw. "I've been in here all morning playing with my brother and Tracks."

"You're welcome to join us, babe," Tracks grinned lecherously. "I haven't had a femme in a long time."

Ratchet looked as if he were about to go sick, but managed not to, instead keeping up the infuriated glare. "My chevron and wrench, Sideswipe."

"You're no fun," Sideswipe de-subspaced the items and tossed them to the medic's feet.

"I'd murder you for this stunt, but I refuse to stoop to your level," Ratchet growled. "You do, however have to report to Prowl at the end of his shift. I hope you're happy. It took me ten breems to get him to stop laughing at me."

'We made Prowl laugh?' Sunstreaker asked over the mental link. 'No fucking way!'

'Mental high five, Sunny!'

"Oh, nursebot?" Tracks asked sweetly. "Before you go, can you do me a favour and wax Sideswipe's codpiece with your tongue? None of us can reach, you see."

It was an outright lie. But it was worth it just to see the medic sputter indignantly before storming off. The three erupted into laughter, neither twin wanting to admit that they preferred Ratchet's mech appearance to his femme one.

After all, lilac clashed so horridly with golden-yellow.

-To Be Continued-

Bluestreak is fun to write once you get the hang of him! And as for Tracks, I have a feeling he and Sunstreaker would either hate each other or get along famously. For the sake of this story, I'm going for the latter. And also, I don't care what anyone says, I refuse to believe Tracks is a Corvette. He's a Pontiac Firebird. Always has been, always will be. To me, at least. He even sports the infamous Firebird logo! I mean, jeez…

Reviews… would be nice…