Control
By Your Undoing
Summary: House is napping in Cuddy's office... she's not too happy about it. Post season 3 finale.
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"House," she whispered gently.
She might as well have slapped him across the face. House moaned loudly as he slowly dragged himself into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes ostentatiously.
"My god, woman! Leave a poor, tired, hard-working soul alone!" he whined, grimacing dramatically.
She rolled her eyes. House simply groaned loudly to further press his point.
"You've been working on this case for three days and you haven't even gone home," she said, her voice louder, brandishing her hands like knives and gesticulating wildly in front of his face. "We all know you shouldn't have fired your team but there's not much you can do about that now. So just go home and sleep. I'll get someone else on the case."
"But you know I'm better than anyone else you can dig up," House said, half-heartedly wiggling his eyebrows, though belying this attempt at light-heartedness with a solid frown.
"Not when you're sleep-deprived, lonely, and still suffering from shock," Cuddy snapped, bending over to pick up a coffee mug from the floor by the couch he'd been napping on—her couch, actually.
"Shock?" House asked lamely, still too groggy to come up with some sort of witty afterthought.
"Yes House," Cuddy said with an exasperated sigh, "shock. Change doesn't suit you. Now do everyone a favor and get out of my office. Go home. Sleep!"
She shot him a glare that clearly said NOW, and then busied herself with finding a place to put House's coffee cup. Gregory House merely sat and watched her for a moment, the cloud of sleep quickly draining from his expression; replaced by a look of concentration.
When it became clear that Cuddy was simply attempting to look busy so she wouldn't have to deal with him, and that she had no intention of giving up on her plan, he cleared his throat loudly.
"What?" she barked, still resolutely facing the opposite wall while straightening a pile of paperwork.
"Why do you want me out of your office so much?"
She turned to look at him, jutting out her hip and resting a well-manicured hand on it.
"Because I have a meeting here in half an hour," she said.
"But you don't!" House replied jovially, thrusting a fist into the air as he said so.
Cuddy clicked her tongue. "House, get out of my office."
"Get off of my back mom, gad!" House whined. "I checked your day's schedule when I came in here this morning so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of one of your candle parties. You're free until Thursday."
"That's wonderful," Cuddy growled, "but I'm still your boss and I still want you to go home."
"Now that's interesting," House said, grasping his cane and rising to step closer to her. "I couldn't possibly be any sort of nuisance just sleeping soundlessly on your couch. Hell, it would probably be a nice break. I wouldn't be coming in here all the time to bug you. You know I just love that, right?!" he added with an excited little wiggle of his fists.
Cuddy simply narrowed her eyes and turned back to re-straightening piles of paper.
"You don't care about my sleep schedule at all as long as I can keep saving lives," House continued, his expression devilish. "But you don't want me sleeping in here. You don't even want me at the hospital! Why do you want me to go home so bad?" he asked, posing the question more to her ceiling than to the actual woman in front of him.
"It's because you have a crush on me," he concluded, rubbing his stubbly chin.
Cuddy bristled, turning back to him again. "We're not in middle school, House!" she snapped. "Now get out or you're fired!"
"She doesn't deny it!" House exclaimed jubilantly. "You want me to scram because I make you uncomfortable whenever I'm around. If I leave you won't have to watch me sleep, because then you wouldn't be able to control yourself. I'd wake up to your dreamy face inches from my own."
Cuddy stared blankly, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead..
"You're cute when you're speechless," House said, raising an eyebrow of his own.
"You astound me," Cuddy replied dully.
House just smiled, twirling his cane in his hand.
"Go home," Cuddy said weakly.
"Yes ma'am," House grinned. He saluted her before turning and marching lopsidedly out the door, his cane making deep impressions in her thick carpet.
Cuddy watched him go, before turning resolutely away from the glass door. She placed her hands on her desk, leaning on it heavily. She exhaled and blinked a few times, before rolling her shoulders back, standing up straight, and dusting off her sweater.
With a final sigh, she sat down at her desk and went back to paperwork.