Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: Really, really bad parody. It's Shishido's fault! Not mine!

I own nothing and no one, save the crazy muse that helped me come up with this.

Gakuto got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hyotei Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me and Choutarou, we believe

He'd been drinking too much eggnog,

And we kicked him out the door

But he'd left his medication

So he stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found him Christmas mornin'

At the scene of the attack

There were hoof prints on his forehead

And incriminatin' Claus marks on his back

Gakuto got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hyotei Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Santa

But as for me and Choutarou, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Yuushi

He's been taking this so well.

We see him there watching tennis

Flirting with and screwing Mel and Belle

It's a better Christmas without Gakuto

So what, we're all dressed in black

And we just can't help but wonder

Should we open his gifts or send them back?

Gakuto got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hyotei Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Santa

But as for me and Choutarou, we believe

Now the food is on the table

Which is made by Kabaji

And the candles bought by Atobe

Would just have matched the hair on Gakuto's head

I've told all my friends and neighbor

Better watch out for yourselves

Still, I'm happy they gave a license,

To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Gakuto got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hyotei Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Santa

But as for me and Choutarou, we believe

Shishido grinned and looked at his audience who's expressions varied from Mukahi's livid anger, to Ohtori's stifled laughter, to Atobe and Oshitari's quiet amusement. Jiroh was, of course, still sleeping, and Kabaji was Kabaji. Shishido quickly got off the stage and sat down next to Ohtori once more.

"I don't think those were the right lyrics, Shishido-san."

"Yeah, but you can't say that they weren't an improvement to the song."

"Shishido! You asshole!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I know it's a Christmas songfic in the beginning of Spring, but I couldn't help it. I was talking to my sib about this doujinshi she found where Mukahi was doing an flip then got hit by a bus, and she started to babble about the thing. I don't know why, but I remembered that stupid Christmas song and started changing a few words here and there, and thus, this insanity was born.

If you want to kill anyone, kill the muse that wouldn't leave us alone until we typed this thing up.