Steve woke up for his usual pre-dawn run and stared at his hands. He then stared in a mirror, swore with a variety of curses that came very naturally this morning, pulled on some clothing and drove to Avenger's Tower. Employees and civilians scuttled out his way as he stalked to the elevator, and entered the code for Tony's penthouse that only he, Tony and Pepper knew.
Natasha could probably work them out, but these days she didn't need to seeing as her boyfriend was a trickster whose many talents included teleportation.
"Tony!" He bellowed the moment the elevator doors opened. He stalked back and forth in the lounge and waited for the genius to emerge from his bedroom. He flicked on the coffee machine, knowing that Tony didn't function well without it.
"Steve Rogers is requesting permission to enter the penthouse." JARVIS announced. Steve paused.
"Yes." It would serve Tony right.
"Well Nick. This is awfully forward, especially for you." Tony mumbled as he appeared, bleary eyed.
"Tony. This isn't a joke. Don't pretend you don't know what you've done." Tony poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against a wall.
"You do realise it's 6am." Steve rolled his eyes. Eye.
"Also. I may be a genius but I'm not omniscient." The man in Steve Rogers' body walked into the penthouse.
"The bodyswap!" Steve shouted.
"What have you done now Stark?" Fury said. He nodded at Steve.
"Captain."
"Fury." Tony stared at the two of them and burst into laughter.
"JARVIS. Get Clint up here right now. Tell him his wildest dreams have come to life." Clint arrived within moments as both Steve and Fury glared at Tony.
"This better be good Tony." Clint growled.
"Steve, Fury." He said.
"Hey Clint." Steve replied. Clint squinted at him and the snorted. He stared at Fury, in Steve's body, then back to Steve, in Fury's body.
"Captain." He said cautiously.
"Yes." Steve answered with a sigh. Tony and Clint grinned at each other and both chuckled.
"Why are pirates called pirates?" Clint said. Fury growled and Clint recoiled.
"Because they aarrrrr." Tony mumbled to himself.
"I have never seen Steve looking so terrifying, nor Fury so meek." Clint chortled.
"Stark you crazy bastard what have you done?"
"Why? Why does everyone always assume it's me?" Tony whined. By this point Pepper had joined them, dressed rather more casually than Steve had ever seen. It didn't stop her from fixing Tony with a steely glare and raising an eyebrow.
"Okay, fine, but this time it wasn't, I swear!" Tony said, grinning all the while.
"Did it never occur to you that we live with the original trickster, and he might get up to some tricks?" With a crack Loki and Natasha appeared.
"Spoilsport." Loki said petulantly. Natasha winked at Steve. There was a flash of green light, and Steve and Fury both reverted to their original bodies. Steve ran his hands up his arms and then touched his left eye, where there was a strange sort of phantom ache.
"If you could stop touching yourself..." Tony said and Steve folded his arms and grimaced.
"Would you mind leaving my room? I was sleeping before we were rudely awoken by tall, dark and angry."
They all bundled into the elevator. Clint was chuckling to himself.
"Never do that again." Steve said as Fury also spoke.
"If you ever do that again, give me some warning." Steve turned to glare at Fury, then back to Loki, who was looking far too pleased with himself.
"Never do that again." He said. He supposed it could have been worse. It could have been Tony.