Herald Toitila was taking a dump. The Collegium privy was a posh establishment and sported a wad of papers on a nail stuck into the doorsill. He thought he saw a word - or a name, to be more specific - he recognized amongst the scribbling on one of the papers.
Frowning, he extracted it from the wad and examined it, frowning in concentration. The handwriting was atrocious and the author had a merciless disregard for punctuation and capitalization. It took him a while to figure out that numbers were used instead of some words as a form of shorthand. Despite this discovery, some letter clusters remained a mystery nonetheless.
"she wus like the preetiest girls in valdemar when vaynel saw heer he sayd omg u r preety wtf i now she said and ur goodloking 2 she said vanyel wuz her 1 tru luv but she was smarkt and new he luved stefan 2 so she said i will seeng ok vanyleyn said and she sang pretty becyase she had the pretiest and bestest sweetest voicve in valdermarn and vanyel said omg u sing betterer than stafan wtf she made vnayelt forget stefna and she said i luv u and he said i luv u 2 coz u r pretiest and lol omg wft they f**88!1 and she shoed gurlluv squee!11 to be so much beterer than boyluv and they had many barbies wich they razed into heralds PLZR&R"
Something about Vanyel. Must be a product of the classes for the barely literate Trainees, he decided.
The mental effort of figuring what PLZR&R might mean helped him finish his business, so he decided to put the paper to good use. He left the privy, whistling, the paper – heavy from the review on it – already forgotten.
Translation in next chapter. Inspired by some very bad Aragorn centric fanfic's I've seen.