AN: Right after The Quarterback aired, at first I wanted to do something with just Kurt and Blaine, but then I heard this song and it just screamed out Rachel, so after a lot of writing and re writing this came out. Now usually with my one shots, I get an idea and just go with it, but with this one I wanted to take my time and make sure her emotions are shown throughout the entire story.
Anyway here it is and enjoy
She couldn't believe it, Rachel Berry refused to believe it. This had to be one big nasty nightmare. Yes that's what this was one big awful nightmare and when she woke up, he would be right here asking why everyone looked so sad. But however….looking around the church and seeing all of her friends being comforted by loved ones, Rachel knew deep down the keeper of her heart, her soul, and her dreams was truly gone.
Two weeks ago they were on the phone talking about classes, auditions, Kurt and Blaine's engagement, and everything in between. Two weeks ago while hearing Finn's laugh in the background, Rachel started thinking about what life would be like with her man by her side and just the thoughts made her giddy, but that was then and this is now.
_Letting her eyes wander, Rachel turned her attention to Kurt and Blaine. Kurt had his head up against Blaine's chest, while the younger man had both arms wrapped around his fiancé, as if he was protecting him from all the sadness in the room. Swallowing a lump, that was now starting to form, the girl watched as Blaine took a tissue, out of his pocket, and started wiping away some of Kurt's tears, while the other looked on with love in his eyes.
Feeling her heart break even more, Rachel quickly turned her attention somewhere else, but no matter where she looked, everyone was with the person they loved.
Artie and Kitty were holding hands, while silently crying. Marley had her head on Jake's shoulder, even Santana was being comforted by her girlfriend and they just started dating. All of her friends had someone to lean on….someone to offer strength and support….everyone expect her….because her strength was now in a casket.
Broken skies, heart aches that flowers wont mend
Say goodbye knowing that this is the end
Tender dreams shadows fall
Love too sweet, to recall
Dry your eyes, face the dawn
Life will go on
Life will go on
Later on that night, after saying goodnight to her dads, Rachel crawled into bed, and while looking at a picture of her and Finn, from their senior prom, she finally allowed herself to grieve.
" Why Finn…..why did you have to leave me….you weren't supposed to leave me….we are the ones who should be getting engaged…..we are the ones who should be planning our wedding….we are the ones who should be planning our future together…..please Finn….please….come back to me…..I'll do anything….say anything….just please…..please….please….come back to me! I don't know what I'm supposed to do….tell me what to do Finn…..tell me what to do!"
Not bothering to wipe away the access tears, the broken girl continued her heart felt confession, while silently hoping Finn would hear her and come back.
" I never got a chance to thank you for coming to New York and rescuing me….I never got a chance to tell you how sorry I am for breaking up with you….I never got the chance to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I still love you…oh god I want to stop feeling….how do I stop feeling Finn! "
After quietly sobbing for a few more minutes, Rachel held the frame close to her chest, and prepared herself for the long night ahead.
All day long, thought that we still had a chance
Letting go, this is the end of romance
Broken hearts, find your way
Make it through, just this day
Face the world on your own
Life will go on
Life will go on
_Walking around the empty auditorium, Rachel felt at peace. This was the place where she knew her and Finn would end up together, because this is where they shared their first kiss.
Letting the memories of a much happier time consume her, she didn't hear someone approach her, until she heard her name.
" Rachel….what are you doing and why do you look so sad?"
Slowly turning around, the said girl came face to face with Finn.
Confused at why she was just standing there Finn gave her a shy smile and walked over to her.
" Hi. I guess you're probably wondering how I'm talking to you huh?"
Nodding her head slowly, she allowed Finn to take her hand and lead her towards the stage.
" Well first off….your dreaming and also I just wanted to talk to you."
Still not too sure what to say, Rachel continued to silently follow Finn onto the stage.
" We had a lot of firsts here on this stage and I wanted this to be the place where we say goodbye. Rachel….I can't really tell you what to do, but please don't stop feeling. You have such a big heart and you care about so many people….please don't shut that away. And your right….we should be the ones planning our future, but we can't anymore so don't stop being happy for Kurt and Blaine….out of all of us, they deserve to be happy."
Finally able to find her voice, Rachel moved away from Finn's grasp.
" But it's not fair. You were going to be an amazing teacher….you had so many plans….so many dreams."
" You're right I did, but now that's changed and you know what….I'm ok with that."
" Why….how can you be?"
" Because I'm happy with the life I'm leaving behind. I had the best mom and step-dad anyone could ever ask for. The greatest group of friends, an awesome brother and brother in law, and the most wonderful talented beautiful girlfriend…..I'm happy with all that….and I need you to be happy with that too."
Finn hated seeing Rachel look so lost, but he knew he had to do this.
" Rachel….we will be together again soon, but until that time comes….I will always be looking out for you and I will always be there when you need me…..so don't think of this as a good bye think of this as a " I'll see you later" kind of thing.
Nodding her head slowly, Finn wrapped his arms around her and held her while she cried.
" I'll always love you Rachel Berry…..always have always will."
They'll be blue skies, every true love
Someday I'll hold you again
They'll be blue skies, in a better world darlin'
Feeling someone shake her, Rachel opened her eyes and saw her dad, Leroy sitting on the edge of the bed.
" Are you ok pumpkin? I heard you crying."
Crawling into her dad's arms, Rachel snuggled into his chest,
" It's only been a few days but I miss him so much….I'm not ready to say goodbye."
Holding his daughter close, Leroy started rubbing the back of her head.
" Then don't. Don't say goodbye….say something else."
" Like what?"
" How about " talk to you soon" or " see you later."
Hearing the exact same phrase Finn said to her moments before, Rachel pulled away from her dad, and looked at the picture once again.
" I love you Finn Hudson and I'll talk to you soon."
Then putting the frame back on the night stand, Rachel wiped away some tears then turned towards her dad.
" Will it ever stop hurting?"
" I don't know when, but it will I promise."
" Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
Never being able to deny his baby girl anything, Leroy laid down next to his daughter and held her, while she slept.
He knew the next few months were going to be hard on her, but he knew deep down, his Rachel was going to be ok.
Tender dreams, shadows fall
Love too sweet to recall
Dry your eyes, face the dawn
Life will go on, life will go on
Broken heart find your way
Make it through just this day
Face the world, on your own
Life will go on, Life will go on
.