Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Marvel cinematic characters or Marvel Comics characters nor are we affiliated in any way with Marvel. We are just fans who wish we did.

Warnings: mild language and innuendos.

The story of Thora the Panda

"Shit," Darcy muttered, she had now officially been lost for what felt like a lifetime. It was only her second day in the Avengers Tower and she couldn't find the lab. True her current situation was of her own doing but she had been certain after her tour yesterday that she would be able to find her way around the place. Naturally she was wrong. She was now wishing she had taken Agent Hill up on her offer of a map but she hadn't been sure whether the agent's offer had been sincere or if it was sarcastic. Darcy knew that if she had been the one saying it she would have laced it with sarcasm. After all sarcasm was what she was known for.

Darcy turned another corner in the never ending maze that was her new home. She was Jane's assistant and was supposed to have been in the lab but it was looking less likely as the time went by that she would get there. Darcy had tried to ring Jane but the new phone Stark had provided her with wasn't working. Darcy couldn't help the small derisive laugh that escaped her mouth at the irony that the one place her new Stark tech phone couldn't get signal was in Stark's tower.

Darcy looked around for any sign of life or directions, she was hoping something would pop up to say where she was and she had tried to ask Jarvis but for some reason he wasn't answering her. If she didn't find humanity soon she was going to go mad. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten and if she didn't get a pop tart into her system soon she didn't know what would happen, all she knew was that the crusty old lint covered mint in her pocket was starting to look particularly tasty.

She turned yet another corner and came to a dead end with large double doors on the furthest wall. Darcy approached the doors with some trepidation. She knew there were lots of weird people and weird things in the tower and she had heard some rumour about a guy who could move really fast and a big green monster. She'd even heard that there were alien gods roaming around the place. Of course she knew Thor but he wasn't a big deal to her. He was possibly more human than her. He loved food, Jane, disrupting Darcy, making out with Jane, pizza and making out with Jane whilst disrupting Darcy whilst she ate pizza or at least whilst she tried to eat pizza, although the sight of them two going at it was enough to put anyone off their food and Darcy loved her food. Recently Thor had gotten into cute animal videos on YouTube and was trying to convince Jane to get him a panda. There was something hysterical about the giant Thor and a panda but Darcy was determined to help the big guy out.

As Darcy approached the doors up ahead she heard the sound of grunting. Darcy paused and listened for a minute. The grunting continued and Darcy briefly worried that she might have stumbled across one of the Avengers bedrooms whilst they were having a tryst. A horrible thought occurred to Darcy, what if it wasn't an avengers bedroom but Director Fury's? Darcy had only met the director once but he had scared the crap out of her and she really didn't want her second encounter to be this, she couldn't think of anything worse. Maybe she should turn back and try and retrace her steps but before she could do that the doors in front of her suddenly opened, as if by an unseen force.

The mystery room was a gym. Darcy racked her brain to think about what floor the gym had been on in the tour. The 35th? 36th? Didn't matter she had some sort awareness to what floor she was on now. The only problem being she didn't know how to get to the elevators. She heard the grunts again and moved to get a better view of the room. If she was lucky (which she wasn't) the person would help her get unlost and if she was really lucky they might even have food. Darcy saw that there was someone on the other side of the large gym pummelling a punching bag.

It was a man. A man without his shirt on kind of man. His back was to Darcy but what a back it was. Sinews of muscles moved in rhythm as he hit the punching bag in front of him. His bicep muscles rippled every time he hit the bag. The ripples went up to his broad shoulders which tensed every time impact was made. And talk about impact, Darcy could barely control herself, her heart was beating faster and she knew it wasn't from her anxiety of a few moments before. Darcy tried to work up the courage to ask him for help but suddenly something happened that stopped her. The man turned around. Darcy's breath caught. Sweat slowly ran down from his long black hair, along his neck and through the indentations of his glorious abs. His body was lean and almost entirely muscle, the sweat made him glisten and Darcy couldn't help but wonder if he was one of the rumoured alien gods because he surely wasn't from this world.

He stared at her, assessing her. His green eyes seemed to look right into her soul and her cleavage, if the way they kept travelling south in what seemed to be an involuntary manner was any indication. Darcy cleared her throat as she subconsciously straightened her back slightly. "Umm… Sorry to interrupt but I'm lost and, well you wouldn't happen to know where the elevator is?" She nervously asked. He gave no sign that he had heard her. Well this was one of her more embarrassingly awkward moments and she had had quite a few of those. He was still staring at her and it was making her uncomfortable. So she asked again if he could help her. Silence. Great, now she would have to either ask to borrow his phone if he had one or go search for the stinking elevator herself and most likely get lost again, which she really wanted to avoid. Was he deaf? Did he ever stop staring? "Ok. Can I borrow your phone? Mine has no signal." He shook his head. Progress he could hear, hallelujah!

"Okay, well, do you know where the labs are located? I know you probably don't know although you might know but why would you? You know?" Darcy nervously laughed, she wanted to face palm herself for that failure at her native language. The guy looked amused, was that a good thing? Her stomach grumbled. Great now she was gonna have to put up with that until she got to the lab. The guy walked over to his bag. Naturally under the circumstance Darcy started thinking about how to defend herself in case the guy tried to kill her. Damn it! She had left her taser in her room. But to her amazement the mystery man pulled out a box that made Darcy's heart skip a beat and her stomach growl. Normally she would have been embarrassed but she had already humiliated herself so the stomach rumble didn't mean anything to her, plus it also helped that she was so thoroughly surprised and happy that she was trying to stop herself from jumping the beautiful man holding the box of strawberry poptarts to really notice. However he had and a delicious smirk slowly worked it's way onto his face, he almost looked as good as the pop tarts, almost. Food would always win. She looked at the box and heard her stomach grumble again. When she looked back at him he was eating one. The evil bastard. What had she done to deserve this? Sure, maybe she had gotten lost and maybe she may have been planning to help Thor get a Panda just to annoy Jane but being forced to starve whilst a good looking man ate, was so not cool. She didn't deserve this. He licked his lips. Bastard. Attractive Bastard.

"Can I have one?" Darcy asked, an almost beseeching look on her face. He continued to smirk at her and reached into the box of pop tarts. Picking one out he stepped towards her and when he was only a foot away from her he lifted the pop tart and took a huge bite out of it. Darcy had had enough, if he wasn't going to help her the least he could do was offer her a snack. At least in Darcy's world that was how manners worked. "Right, you won't help me and you don't speak and you won't even give me a pop tart. I honestly may as well be back in the corridors lost because meeting you hasn't helped me at all." She turned to leave but found the doors shut, when she got to them they wouldn't budge. Shit, she thought it was locked. She turned round to the guy. "Er… You don't happen to have a key do you?" Darcy asked aware of the fact he probably wouldn't reply. "JARVIS!" She yelled, "I realise you probably aren't working as you haven't responded or helped me at al but could you please start working and open the goddamn door!" Silence. "Argh," Darcy let out a strangled cry and kicked the doors. She proceeded to do this for a few minutes, whilst the background noise of the handsome man eating pop tarts was her only reply.

Suddenly a voice spoke, "Darcy, it's me Jane." Darcy looked around wildly, "Jane? Where are you?" There was the sound of some kind of struggle and the Jane's voice came back, "Hi, sorry about that, Tony doesn't want me talking to you on this intercom thing, apparently I'm ruining his plan or whatever he's up to now but I needed to check that you were okay." Darcy frowned, what the hell was Tony up to now? She had only met the mad inventor a handful of times but he had taken a liking to her, unfortunately his way of showing this was by pulling bizarre pranks on her. "Jane?" Darcy asked "Well, I'm in this gym with a guy that doesn't talk and I'm starving." Darcy waited for a reply. "No, I won't stop talking to her Tony!" She heard Jane yell. "Darcy?" It was Thor. "Thor?" She replied. "We are sending Thor to get you because Tony changed Jarvis so that he can't speak to you and Tony refuses to re activate him for you. Thor should be with you soon." Great now she was stuck in the gym with mute guy. "You know Thor?" A deep British voice said from the across the gym. She whirled around in shock. He could talk!

Darcy tried to act indifferent and shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah, I do. The big guy and I go way back, like a year." Darcy looked away, a faint smile on her lips as she remembered her first meeting with God of Thunder. Fitty McVittie started to chuckle and his chuckles turned into a full on laugh. "Yes, you do indeed go 'way back' as you put it," his laughing softened as he regarded her, "You mortals are much more amusing than I thought you would be." Darcy frowned, she got the sense he was being patronising, "Well we only live to entertain," she replied sarcastically and did a mock curtsy to emphasise her point.

He laughed. "Anyway, after I tasered him and he went unconscious. We became buds." She said matter of factly. "You made the almighty Thor go unconscious?" He asked interested. "Yeah, well he was freaking me out." She replied. "I am trying to get him a Panda." The man looked at her curiously, "A panda?" Darcy nodded, "Yeah, you know black and white bears, from china?" He nodded, "Ah yes, China." Darcy looked at him as though he was mad, "Whatever,. Well ever since he saw the sneezing panda video he has wanted one. Jane won't let him have one, so I'm planning on sneakily buying him one if I can convince Tony." The mysterious man just nodded his head again, he looked as though he was trying to keep up with what he was saying but didn't really seem to understand. Darcy realised she hadn't asked the man's name. "Soooo, don't mean to be rude but who are you?" He raised his eyebrow. "You don't recognise me?" Darcy was confused. "Loki." It took Darcy a moment and then another before the name sunk in. "Shit, you're the guy who tried to kill me in New Mexico." The smile had left his face at her comment, "I did not set out to kill you specifically and I am truly sorry for any pain I may have caused you, I can see that your demise would have been a waste." Darcy wasn't sure what was happening, was this some weird ass flirting? She really didn't know. Also she thought he was some crazy murdering dude but he seemed pretty sane and a bit sad. "I have had some time to reflect on my actions and seek forgiveness for what I have done," he said in his husky voice. Darcy nodded this made sense. She had heard a lot of things about him but she never liked to judge people based on what others thought and he seemed to be alright.

Darcy was going to tell him this when she heard the sound of thunderous footsteps approaching from outside the doors. "Fear not Lady Darcy, I am here to rescue you from the Man of iron's treacherous tower." Darcy rolled her eyes at Thor's exclamation and was pleasantly surprised to see Loki do the same. He was smiling again and she decided she liked that look on him very much. Suddenly a thought came into her mind,"You said you were sorry about the whole New Mexico thing but I believe actions speak louder than words." Loki nodded, "yes, you share that opinion with SHIELD. I am trying to prove myself by changing my ways, especially after all I have done." Darcy nodded, she could go into that but she would save that conversation for another time. "Ok so I need your help," Loki looked interested. "I mean you're the God of mischief right?" Loki nodded. "Okay….. So, will you help me get Thor a Panda?" She asked. For anyone else this might be a bit much to ask but she had heard and seen some of the magic he could do and she figured procuring a panda wasn't too much to ask. She dared to look at him and saw him nod. "Yes, I will." He smirked at her. She laughed as Thor broke down the gym doors, "Ah, Loki, this could be the start to a beautiful friendship."

And that was how Thora the Panda joined their weird family.

AN's

Emerald: Hello people of fanfiction! This is Ruby and mine's first time uploading a co written piece together. It was a lot of fun to write and personally I found it very different as it is much lighter than what I normally write but the change was nice. I hope you enjoyed it and now I'll pass you over to Ruby who has more to say than me, which if you read my stories you will know is a bit odd as sometimes my author's notes are as long as my chapters.

Ruby: Soooooooo while writing our first joint piece we discovered some interesting things about Emerald. "Darcy couldn't help but wonder if he was one of the rumoured alien gods because he surely wasn't from this world" This was Emerald. This is why she doesn't write fluff and is why I kept it in it is the right amount of cheese.. She also can not pronounce hallelujah and I Ruby can't spell it. It was a journey of discovery and laughter.

To our loyal fans… sorry about this not being new chapters but we were in the mood for a one shot and actually had time to write together. After this we hope (Emerald more then me) to update soon. Love, Love is what we are sending you. We hoped you liked it. We know it is different than what Emerald normally but she wanted to try and I was here to make sure it didn't go to dark…. Or too cheesy (See paragraph above). (She is currently glaring at me). Time to go.

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Cheerio,

Ruby 3