Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it
The Best Nanofate Fanfiction Ever?
Fate Testarossa walked in through her front door flexing and stretching her muscles, it had been an incredibly hard day at work and she just wanted to relax. Before she even had time to kick off her shoes, her ever doting house wife Nanoha came up behind her and began massaging her shoulders.
"Hey honey, tough day?" Nanoha said huskily into her wife's ear.
"Kinda, I had a sky high amount of paperwork to do, not to mention you just can't get the staff nowadays" Fate sighed in contentment as she let Nanoha work her magic.
"You know what you need don't you?" the brunette asked tilting her head to the side.
"And what's that my love?" Fate replied, turning around and looking into her wife's eyes questioningly.
"Sex! And lot's of it"
"Yes I certainly do" With that said, Fate picked up Nanoha bridal style, carried her all the way to their bedroom and laid her down on the bed. They ripped off each others clothes in passion-fuelled haste as they began the horizontal tango, with Fate on top. They did it in all sorts of positions (laying down, standing up, from behind, upside down you name it they did it) and in all sorts of places (in the hall, in the bath, on the dining table, over the washing machine) until they finally ran out of stamina.
They had somehow ended up on the front lawn, Nanoha in Fate's arms, both of them still naked and staring into each others eyes.
"Ah Fate-chan, you're so big and strong. I never knew you could do such things-" Nanoha crooned, only to be silenced by her other half's gentle finger against her lips.
"Hush my sweet I have something to tell you. I quit my job and bought us a house in Hawaii" Fate said smiling at the surprise on her wife's face.
"Oh my god, that's amazing Fate-chan! I also have something to tell you…I'm pregnant with your child" It was now the blondes turn to be stunned as they both embraced each other tighter.
"I'm so happy, how should we celebrate?" Fate asked with a tear of happiness rolling down her cheek.
"More sex?" came Nanoha's reply
"Okay"
And so they did.
…
"My master piece, it's done!" exclaimed Hayate standing up from her chair and throwing her hands in the air in rejoice "The best Nanofate Fanfiction ever is complete!"
She scanned her eyes down the Word document one more time and smiled widely at her achievements. It had taken her three hours, but she had finally finished.
"Now to publish this baby, let's see Document Manager…Label: the best Nanofate FF EVER!...browse files…submit!" but just before Hayate was about to click 'New Story'she hesitated Hmm, maybe I should get other people's opinions before I unleash something this powerful onto the public.
She remained indecisive for a few more moments before she made up her mind to show it to a few of her friends, or at least any unfortunate person she happened to come across. In her excitement she printed off her short story, cursing at how slow the printer was going, and ran out the door only to bump into another person who as just coming to visit her in her office.
"Ow, hey watch where you are going Hayate, geeze" Vita groaned whilst rubbing the sore spot on her head
"Oops sorry Vita didn't see you there" Said Hayate, making an obvious jab at the knight's height.
"Yeah whatever, did you finish that urgent report?"
Hayate coughed an inaudible reply and changed the subject "Hey can you read this please and tell me what you think?"
Vita looked frustrated but complied, she snatched the paper out of Hayate's hand and began to read.
"What the hell is this? A plot for a porno or something?" Vita yelled looking thoroughly repulsed and disgusted.
"No it's a Nanofate Fanfic" Hayate relied gawping at Vita with an 'isn't-it-obvious?' look.
"Nanowhat?"
"Nanofate, you know Nanoha x Fate. There are tonnes of Fanfics, pictures, videos and doujins on the internet about it" the taller of the two girls explained.
Suddenly Yuuno appeared beside Vita looking excited.
"Are there lot's of Yuuno x Nanoha Fanfictions out there as well?" he asked apprehensively.
"Hell no, are you crazy? Everybody hates you. Where did you come from anyway? Get out of here ferret face" At Hayate's harsh words Yuuno hung his head and crawled back under which ever dark crevice he came from.
The brunette, unfazed by the boys unannounced appeared, turned back to Vita.
"Do Nanoha and Fate know about all this smut about them online?" Vita questioned looking back down at the piece of paper in her hands.
"How should I know, what do you think of my story though?"
"I'm not getting involved, see ya" Vita said with finality as she turned on her heels and walked hastily away from the desperate girl.
Dammit, she was no help
Hayate burst in through the doors of the infirmary, startling a blonde woman who was sat writing out a prescription at the desk inside.
"Shamal, thank goodness you are here, emergency!" Hayate shouted slightly out of breath from running.
"What is it, is someone hurt?" Shamal became wide-eyed as Hayate stumbled over to her.
"No, I need you to read this" Hayate thrust the piece of paper she was clutching into the older woman's hands, who sat back down and began to read. The worried look that adorned her features soon turned one of embarrassment as her cheeks turned slightly pink.
"What do you think?" Hayate asked urgently.
"Umm, did you write this?" Hayate nodded "It's err very…how should I put this. Umm, I don't really know about these types of things so I'm not really the best person to ask, why don't you ask Signum, she's just through the other room"
"Okay, gotcha" Once Hayate left, Shamal's tense body relaxed and she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand Phew that was awkward…sorry Signum.
"Hey Signum, ol' buddy ol' pal" Hayate chirped cheerfully as she entered the room that was filled with beds for the injured to rest in. She walked up to her pink haired friend, who was sat on a gurney with her arm in a sling.
"What is it?" Signum replied bluntly, clearly not in the best of moods.
"Can you read this?" without waiting for an answer she shoved the, now slightly battered, paper into Signum's good hand.
Five minutes passed by as Signum stared at the story in her hands, not saying a word and Hayate was beginning to feel impatient.
"So…what do you think?"
"Very good" Signum said emotionlessly as she handed back the piece of paper. Hayate stared at the knight suspiciously
"Did you even read it?"
"No"
...
Hayate stormed out of the infirmary into the hall Grr why won't anyone take my Fanfic seriously? She began walking absentmindedly down the halls of the TSAB before deciding she needed a breath of fresh air to calm herself down.
Hayate sat on a bench in the grounds of the huge building trying to collect her thoughts Maybe I'll ask Zafira…wait, can he even read? Hmm what about Chrono? No, he's a pervert. Subaru and Teana would be perfect but they're away on a mission… Hayate wracked her brains, until it struck her I know who I'll ask it's so obvious!
She reached down beside her to collect her masterpiece only to find a small blonde child who's heterochromatic eyes where reading it intently beside her.
"Whoa Vivio when did you get there? And you shouldn't be reading that, it'll give you nightmares" Hayate exclaimed seizing the story from the little girls hands.
"Oh hey aunty Hayate, I got here a while ago, but you were day dreaming" Vivio replied innocently
"Oh sorry about that, so…did you read this?" the younger girl nodded Oh crap Nanoha and Fate are going to kill me. Oh well might as well make the most of the situation "What did you think?"
"Hmm, well the story was a little dry and two dimensional if you ask me. Not to mention Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama were completely out of character, Fate-mama would never be the dominant one. And how could Fate-mama and Nanoha-mama have a baby together when they are both girls?" Vivio rambled "And how are they going to support a child when they have no main source of income-"
"Oh what do you know, you're just a kid" Hayate cut off the criticisms "Where are your parents?"
"Umm, Fate-mama's office I think" replied Vivio "Oh err, bye aunty Hayate" she added quickly as the brunette rushed off back inside the building.
She tore up the halls knocking several people over in her haste, turning corners at break neck speeds, until she finally stood outside the enforcer's office. Catching her breath, she straightened herself out and put her hand on the door knob. She was about to turn the handle when she heard several strange noises coming from inside, intrigued she put her ear to the door and listened intently to the muffled voices.
"Oh Fate-chan! You're so naughty"
"Hey Nanoha can I go on top for once?"
"Of course not, just do that again"
"Okay"
"Ahh"
Hayate quickly understood the situation and bent down until her eyes was level with the keyhole and peered through only to abruptly withdraw backwards, feeling dizzy and light headed. She looked down at the Fanfiction in her hands, screwed it up and threw it to the side. She then pulled out her little notepad and pen from her skirt pocket, put her eye back to the keyhole and began writing what she saw.
Now this is going to be the best Nanofate Fanfiction ever
A/N: That was fun to write, I managed to do it all in one sitting!
Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I'm so happy Rage Against The Machine's 'Killing In The Name' is christmas No.1 over here in Britain! Suck on that X-Factor! :D
Please tell me what you think by leaving a review, cheers x