Hello all! I'm so sorry it's been so long! My life has been all sorts of crazy lately! I've had this idea for a while, but when I read Stars Above, I knew I had to write something! I don't think I'll be continuing Wait...What? It's been so long since I touched it, and when I first wrote it Winter hadn't come out yet, so it's all sorts of inaccurate. I haven't decided whether I should take it down or leave it up, what do you guys think? Either way I plan to rewrite a story that follows a similar path, eventually, so there's definitely more Kaider coming your way! In the meantime, enjoy this fluffy one-shot so helpfully beta'd by the wonderful Oak_Leaf (on AO3)!
-readingsloth
P.S. All of the characters belong to the fantastic Marissa Meyer.
Cinder was woken by a loud cry, but it was significantly different than the cries that still sometimes haunted her nightmares, and unlike those fearful shrieks, this one doesn't turn her heart to ice. Next to her Kai is just beginning to stir, and she leans over to whisper to him that she's got this one. His only response is a quiet grunt before he buries himself back into the pillow. Both of Peony's parents are relatively quiet, introspective people, and while their friends all joke and marvel at her amazing skill at being as loud as possible, Cinder definitely isn't laughing as she makes her way over to Peony's nursery.
This is the third time tonight alone. Even though she loves her baby with every fiber in her being, Cinder can't help but look back fondly at the last time she had a peaceful nights sleep. It feels like it's been years, but in reality it was only last week that her and Kai were deep asleep, both dreaming of their quickly coming new arrival.
Kai had been amazing, doing everything in his power to help out and let Cinder rest and recover from what hadn't been an easy delivery, but Cinder could see it was taking his toll on him. Only yesterday she had found him, hoping to get his signature on an important new agreement with Luna (and exchange a quick kiss before heading back to work), dozing at his desk, his face pressed against the same papers he was supposed to be approving. She had sworn that she would take a more active role in nighttime care, which is how she finds herself pushing open the door to the large bedroom and trying to cover up the scowl on her face.
She doesn't realize, in her frustration and exhaustion, that she's forgotten something.
"Shh, shh, please stop crying. What's wrong? Are you hungry?"
Cinder tries to quiet the squalling newborn without picking her up because she knows that if she removes her from her cradle it will be almost impossible to put her back down. Staring into Peony's deep, red-ringed, dark eyes she is struck again by how much she resembles her father, and it fills her with a sense of love that's almost enough to overcome the desperation. Almost.
Eventually, Cinder is forced to face the truth. Although she begs and pleads, she can't figure out what's wrong, and she can't get her daughter to stop crying. Even though Torin claims he doesn't mind, she's seen the dark circles, and Cinder thinks guiltily of him, and of Kai, as she leans over to lift Peony into her arms.
It's only when she feels the warm little body against her cold metal hand that she remembers. Peony's eyes fly open and she starts screaming louder.
"Damn it. Damn it, Peony I'm sorry. I know it's cold. I'm sorry. Please be quiet. Please. Your father is trying to sleep, and he's got important things to do. He's got a country to run. Come on." She coos and pleads with the child, but it is to no avail. Cinder tries to hold her with only her human arm, but Peony is flailing too much, and Cinder doesn't want to risk it. She tries to put her down back into her warm cradle, but then Peony shrieks at the lack of contact.
Cinder berates herself for forgetting the glove. How could she? It's sitting right on her bedside table. She must have looked at it half a dozen times as she was getting out of bed, but she forgot, and now she has a screaming baby, and no way to get her to shut up.
When they first announced she was pregnant, it hadn't occurred to either of them the problems that having a metal hand might bring when trying to snuggle with a baby. It was only the snide comment of a prejudiced reporter that had brought the potential issue to their minds. How would a baby react to her cold prosthetics? Cinder had strongly considered getting a skin graft, but Kai wouldn't hear of it. It was Winter that, ultimately, found the solution. A few days before Peony made her dramatic appearance the emperor and empress received a beautifully embroidered glove, covered with beautifully stitched peony's. This would allow Cinder to hold the baby without fear of upsetting her, and it worked wonderfully, until Cinder forgot the damn thing. A fat lot of good it was doing her now. She was starting to get a headache, and she wasn't sure if it was an indication that she should be crying, or if it was just the noise and sleep deprivation.
Suddenly she feels a hand at her waist and she jumps, hugging Peony to her even tighter, which didn't help.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
His voice is quiet and gentle, and she suppresses a sigh of defeat. She had tried so hard to let him sleep.
"Everything okay. She hungry?" His hand reaches around her to rest on their daughter's forehead, and the baby sniffles and quiets a little at her father's touch.
"Yeah, everything's fine, I think. I can't figure anything out. I haven't had a chance to see... I forgot my glove." Cinder's not a weepy person, by any definition, but the sleep deprivation and the abundant hormones still in her system make the situation much more emotional than it needs to be, and once again she wishes she could cry. It's not Peony's fault, not at all, and she doesn't feel any sort of resentment or anger towards her baby, but sometimes she does start to feel envious of Kai and her other friends who can hold their children without worrying about anything.
"I noticed." Kai responds with a slight smile, holding up the garment.
She breathes a sigh of relief and hands Peony over, still crying, while she covers the offending appendage.
"I'm sorry. I was trying to avoid waking you up. I know you're exhausted." They're both speaking in whispers, but the frustration is still clear in her voice.
"Don't worry about it, you're tired too." He's still holding Peony, and although she has stopped crying, seemingly placated by her parents soft voices, Cinder thinks it'll be a miracle if the kid ever goes back to sleep, all the excitement of the last few moments has erased any trace of tiredness, and she's looking up at Kai with curiosity and happiness.
Even though she appreciates the quiet, Cinder still has both a headache, and the overwhelming desire to scream, but she tries to shove it down, she doesn't want Kai to be worried, or think she can't handle this. It's not for nothing that they're married however, and he sees right through her attempted calm.
"What's wrong? Everything okay?" His voice is no longer light and happy, but is now laced with concern.
Cinder doesn't respond. She hasn't told him about her frustrations, but she senses that he knows anyway.
Kai covers the distance that separates them in only a few steps, and hands Peony back to her. Cinder expects him to go back to bed, but he stays, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder, peering down at their daughter.
"You should go back to bed. You've got an important meeting tomorrow." His only response is to hold her a little tighter.
One of his hands leaves her waist to rest against the top of Peony's head, his fingers weaving through her short, dark hair.
"One day we'll tell her all about us, and your bravery and accomplishments. And we'll tell her of a time when the world was darker, and more unfair, and she'll live in reverence of your courage and sacrifice. And she'll look at your metal arm the same way I do, the same way our friends do, as a part of you, and she'll love it just like she loves you."
Cinder turns into his embrace, being careful not to suffocate Peony, and kisses him.
When Konn Torin comes to find the Emperor and Empress the next morning, afraid that they've slept in and will be late to a crucial meeting with the new American President (it would be understandable, he's heard Peony crying the last few nights), they aren't in their bedroom. The first thing he feels is a rush of panic. It would be dishonest and naive of him to think that the marriage had all been smooth sailing, and there are times when he has to go search out one of them to reassure himself that one of the many protesters hasn't taken extreme action. He worries himself for nothing; when he checks the nursery he finds both of them snuggled together on the small couch in the corner, Cinder still holding a Peony who is sound asleep, Kai's arms around both of his girls.
It really is a shame he has to wake them.
Hope you enjoyed (and that all the fluff didn't give you a cavity...)! Don't forget to read and review!
-readingsloth