Authors Note: Yeah, I know; I haven't posted in who knows HOW long…yes, it's SasuNaru, a little one-shot I wanted to do. For some reason I love the lyrics to Avril Lavigne…heh. Credit for the song goes to Avril Lavigne; the song is "Complicated", and the characters belong to the awesome creator of Naruto!
((Preppy doesn't go for Naruto, but, eh, one word off isn't bad! From Sasuke's POV. ))
"Uh huh, life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Cause life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is
Chill out; whatcha yelling' for?
Laid back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one, but you've become--!"
I hear him yelling at me, time and time again. I thought--I was his brother, his best friend, the one to show him what friendship was? I want to be more, but….no. He would never go for it.
I love you for you, my dear Naru-chan. My Dobe; mine…. Or rather, that's what I want.
Each time he yells I know he does it out of habit; I can see it doesn't mean he's mad. I can tell. It's so things don't get awkward, and I accept that gratefully. I'm rotten with emotions. It keeps things… cool… between us. And yet I know we probably couldn't get any closer then we are-- we know each other better then we know ourselves, probably.
"Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no--!"
I can tell he's got an act around everyone else, but around me, lets the real him shine…. I wonder what people would say if they could see him? Around everyone else he's an idiot who's too loud; too annoying;; too oblivious… and yet filled with such devotion it makes you wonder what you did to deserve a friend like him.
Whenever I'm not around, where he can see, I see him looking around, all jumpy, and I wonder. I wonder, is it me? Do I make him do that? He gets nervous, but when I'm there, he's suddenly raring to go, wanting to show he can be better than me. Still I wonder… is he showing off? Does he want me to notice him? Does he… only want to prove he's better then me?
He tries to act super-cool around everyone, but…. He looks like an idiot to me. Because he is… He's an idiot when he tries to be something he isn't. He… pretends to be someone he's just…. Not.
Each time someone puts him down, I see it hurts. No one else does, but I can. I know him too well. He's taken what he has, but he keeps showing love to everyone else, that wonderful devotion and loyalty a person can only dream of--! No matter how many times he's pushed down, he keeps getting up. Doesn't he see… That he's always been stronger than me?
"You come over unannounced
dressed up like you're somethin' else
where you are ain't where it's at you see
you're making me
laugh out when you strike your pose
take off all your preppy clothes
you know you're not fooling anyone
when you've become--
Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you can't relax
Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me--!"
He comes over whenever he wants. Never calls, or emails, or anything-- just comes over, grinning and wanting some company.
I know why. It's why I let him in each time, pretend nothing's wrong; we watch TV, wrestle, laugh…
It's because he's lonely. Sometimes he'd just been in a fight, and I fix him up; other times, I can tell he feels like he's about to break, and I have to heal that too…. Because if I don't, I'm worried…. About what he'll try to do.
I won't--I won't let him do it!
He strikes poses to try and make me laugh, whether it's imitating Lee and Gai-sensei, to pretending to be that Hag, or even some of his friends. Once… once he imitated me. I remember falling silent, just watching. I stood up, and clenched my fists; not angry at him, but…angry at me. "Do I….do I really do that?" I had asked. He realized now I didn't even know what I was doing. He slowly straightened, gently placing a hand on my shoulder as he looked up at me. "Yeah, Sasuke. That's what you show…to everyone else." And he smiled then; and I realized at that moment I was completely in love.. And I had never known. Because it was HIS smile; the one only I ever got to see, the one he only showed when he was truly content, truly happy. So… I did the first thing that came to mind, oddly. I asked if he wanted to see ME do some imitations. He had grinned, and sat down, and nodded like mad, cheering me on. I imitated a few people he didn't. He said I did Neji and Gaara really well……Hmph.
And then I did someone, and his grin widened, and he shouted, "THAT'S ME! YEAH, TOTALLY! HA! SASUKE-TEME, YOU CAN GRIN!" I had simply smiled; sadly, though. "Yeah, Naruto. That's… what you show to everyone else." He was silenced. Now around me, he never actually talked much; we knew each other better then needing words to communicate. He was staring at me. I remember crouching in front of him and putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I can't be you, Naruto. Just who you pretend to be. Because…I can't love anyone else as much as you do. Except you." And I remember leaning in, and kissing his forehead, before pulling back and smiling faintly.
"Don't pretend around me, Naruto. It hurts me as much as it hurts you." I think I whispered it, but…it was all pretty quiet.
"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
and You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no
Chill out whatcha yelling for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see--!
Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back, like you can't relax
You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me--!"
Every time I think life is getting back to order, you upturn it. You complicate everything--life, in it's very simplicity, it's gentle complications to turn into something that one can just think and think over.
You avoided me after that, for a couple of days. So finally I got sick of it--and worrying myself to unnecessary stress, as well--and finally found him, with the help of a certain white-eyed boy. I approached him, and put a hand on his hair, gently mussing your smooth spikes. "Naruto, if you've got a reason to avoid me, I'd really like to know it." I told him quietly.
He stood, slowly, and turned, an odd expression on his face--I'd never seen it on him before, and wasn't quite sure what it was. "You know very well why I'm avoiding you, Sasuke." So… he was going to be serious. We only used each others names, and just them, when we were serious. I immediately straightened, removing my hand. "Naruto… it as just a kiss. On the forehead, for that matter." I told him, a quizzical lift of my lips settling. I wasn't saying it was nothing. But I wasn't saying it was something, either.
"What the hell was it FOR, teme! THAT'S what I'm talking about!" He shouted, glaring at me.
"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
and you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no…"
"Naruto. You're my brother. My first family, after the murder." My tone tightened at the word murder--usually I just incident--but I tried to keep my voice and gaze level. "You were the first one to simply see a boy, and not the last of the Uchihas. A genius. You saw only a boy. Sure you didn't like me after the--murder--but that was my fault. You still were my friend, and I wanted so badly to keep being yours… I think, for a long time, I forgot." I took a small breath here, pausing. I usually… didn't talk much. Around Naruto, I never had needed to. But… I had a feeling that he needed it then.
"I remember once, looking at you, I wondered how you kept it up. Wondered how you kept being so wonderful, so perfect. I know no one else thought you were wonderful, or perfet, but I did. I insulted you, and hurt you, because I didn't want to recognize what I was feeling. Did you know… I used to have a crush on you?" I remember smiling softly, gently, and looking directly at him, at the shocked look he was giving me.
"Not anymore, though. I realized that. I thought I was just back to being brothers, and I was ecstatic." I watched the shocked expression slide off, to be replaced by a disappointed--saddened--confused--look. He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.
"Uzumaki Naruto, I love you. I love you as a brother, I love you as my perfect family. I love you as my teammate, and as my comrade. I love you as I have never loved anyone else, and I want to be yours, and you, mine." The words came out so simply…. "I love you, Naruto. I'm IN love with you. Even if I lived with you every day of my life, and spent every moment with you, I could never get enough of you."
I remember your reply. A simple hug. No kiss, no big embrace, just… a simple hug, where we just stood there, on the training grounds where we first became a team. And then you looked up at me and smiled--before it changed to a grin. The kind of grin I'd never seen on you before, though. It was soft and lively, gentle and rough, and wonderfully, wonderfully you.
"Took you long enough, teme. Took you long enough."
"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
and you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no…"
Authors Note: Hmm. Good. Not too sappy. I always liked simple things, and this is simple…unlike the title. :Giggles:. Kind of explaining Sasuke's feelings, I guess. A day after Valentines day, but I just got my computer back after what to me was a very long time. I dunno. I just wrote whatever came to mind, and it came out as this.
I'm curious, though… anyone think I should try this as a chapter story? Even just a few chapters, maybe just three or four. Depends on how many reviews I get, and what they say.
Beware, just got over writers block, and haven't written anything in several months. L