Don't Freak Out
"I mean, he could be kind of hot, in a rugged sort of way though... right?" Maxine sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else, as she talked about the new camp handyman. He wasn't traditionally attractive, by any stretch of the imagination, but traditionally attractive men tended not to give her the time of day, and she was fast reaching the point of pure desperation.
"Ew, no Max, in no way is Chet hot. Besides, you can do so much better than him."
"Allison, I'm twenty-one years old and still a virgin, I clearly can't do any better." Maxine huffed miserably, quickly downing a bitter tequila shot to hide her impending tears.
"Max..." Allison softly whispered her best friend's name, the pain of hearing the beautiful redhead sounding so defeated almost too much to bear.
"Forget it Al, just... forget it, okay?" Maxine waved a hand dismissively before gathering their empty shot glasses and taking them through to the kitchen.
Allison watched in silent, only slightly intoxicated, contemplation, as Maxine gazed vacantly out of the window into the darkness of the night. Since officially coming out the previous summer, Allison had been trying to come to terms with the crush that she had on the slightly older woman. During the off-season, when Max was in Chicago and Allison had been busily preparing to take over from her mother as camp chef, the feelings had been easy to ignore, but since Maxine had burst into the mess hall less than a month ago and engulfed her in an enthusiastic hug, Allison had been struggling to keep her emotions in check.
Taking a deep breath and a final swig from the tequila bottle for courage, Allison made a decision, and started walking towards the small kitchen area. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, by the time she actually reached her friend, Allison's brain had flashed several warnings at her about how Maxine was definitely straight and whatever she was considering doing could potentially ruin their friendship, and so she ended up just standing behind Maxine with her mouth gaping uselessly.
"Jesus Al, what are you doing?" Maxine jumped as she turned around to the sight of a slightly crazed looking Allison, who did nothing but swallow deeply and give a small shake of her head. "Okay short stuff, I think it's time for bed."
Seeing no sign of comprehension, Maxine moved the brunette's arms to hang loosely around her neck before hoisting the shorter woman onto her back, and stumbling as carefully as she could, towards the cosy cabin bedroom to rather ungracefully dump Allison onto the bed.
"Maxine." Allison finally roused from her stupor, reaching out to grasp Maxine's wrist, preventing her from standing up. "You... you're beautiful." She didn't look up to say it, couldn't possibly bring herself to actually see Maxine's reaction, or god forbid, allow Max to see how deeply she meant it.
"You are so drunk." Maxine laughed, more than used to Allison's overly affectionate drunkenness.
"No." Allison sighed, deeply disappointed at Max's casual dismissal.
With a new-found resolve, Allison sat up and shuffled herself over to face Maxine, reaching out a tentative hand she hovered near the taller woman's face before dropping it down to rest gently on her shoulder. "You are beautiful, Max, and if other people can't see that, well, then they're all just idiots and they don't deserve you."
Maxine smiled sadly at her friend, appreciative of the effort, but not convinced by the words and not quite sober enough to interpret the hidden truth behind them.
"Okay tater-tot, I need to pee, and then we need to sleep." Maxine gently patted her friend's leg before standing up and walking out of the room, leaving Allison confused and more conflicted than ever before – on the one hand, she had sort of achieved her mission of telling Maxine how she felt, but on the other hand, she hadn't actually managed to say anything at all, and her best friend still didn't believe that she was beautiful.
Deciding that she was far too drunk to deal with this at that moment, Allison just gave a frustrated grunt and curled onto her side to sleep, only panicking for a brief second when Maxine returned from the bathroom and proceeded to lay beside her on the small bed.
Allison woke early the next morning, as the sun shone through the window and into her eyes; the sharp stabbing pain that shot through her head forced her to scrunch her eyes close and bury her face into the warm body that she appeared to be curled around. Allowing this thought to fully register in her brain, she cautiously cracked one eye open to gaze upon her still sleeping companion, unfortunately this turned out to be a very bad idea, because the imposing light of the sun was reflecting almost poetically off deep auburn hair and framing Maxine's face in a golden halo of light.
"Oh shit." Allison whispered, as her breath caught in her throat and she fell just a little bit deeper in love.
Deciding that the best course of action would be to leave the bed immediately before she could do something extremely stupid, she fought through the pain of her hangover and managed to roll out of bed and make it to the bathroom without waking Maxine.
After a quick shower and a banana for breakfast, Allison placed some Advil and a glass of water beside the bed for Maxine, scribbled a quick note and took the long, quiet walk back to camp.
For the rest of the day Allison kept herself busy in the kitchen away from Maxine, having decided that she just needed some space to get her feelings under control. Thankfully, having to prepare food for so many people without any help kept her busy enough to leave no time to think about how pretty Maxine's eyes are; or how safe and warm her hugs are; or how her smile lit up her entire face; or how her laugh drifted through the air like music and melted Allison's heart.
"Hey Allison." The sound of the voice that she had sadly been failing to not think about, made Allison jump slightly as she was in the middle of peeling potatoes, and she winced in pain as she caught her thumb with the sharp point of the peeler.
"Damn it." She looked down at the small bleeding cut, starting to panic slightly as tiny drops of bright red fell onto the wooden table-top. "Oh no, the tots, there's blood in the tots."
"Okay, okay just calm down, here, put some pressure on it." Maxine reached for a paper towel, wrapping it gently around Allison's thumb, then leading her to sit on a stool and moving to get the first aid kit down from the shelf.
"We'll have to throw out all of the tater-tots, we can't feed the kids my blood, what are they going to eat? How can I be a good chef if I can't even peel potatoes without bleeding all over them?"
"Allison, it's fine, honestly." Maxine chuckled. "Here, let me see." She took Allison's hand in hers, slowly removing the towel to get a good look at the cut, which had already stopped bleeding. She cleaned the cut with an anti-septic wipe and covered it with a bright blue band-aid. "There you go, all good again." She smiled and pressed a soft kiss to the injured digit.
"Uhm, uh, thanks." Allison coughed, abruptly pulling her hand away and standing up, stepping past Maxine to find a cloth and spray to clean the few specks of blood off the table.
Maxine frowned, extremely confused by the shorter woman's sudden irrational behaviour.
"Are you okay?" She asked, taking a small step forwards, noticing Alison's almost imperceptible step away from her.
"Totally, yeah." Allison turned away, picking up another potato and starting to peel it rather aggressively.
"You're an amazing chef Al, one little cut doesn't change that." Maxine offered reassuringly, completely misinterpreting the problem.
"Yeah sure."
"Do you need grown-up time at the cabin again?"
"No. No I'm good, I think I'll stay on camp tonight."
"Okay, if you're sure?"
Maxine struggled to think of something else to say, but it seemed clear that Allison probably wouldn't want to hear it anyway, so she gave one final glance towards the young cook, before leaving the kitchen.
For the next three days Allison increased her effort to avoid Maxine, which was not an easy task when she had to stay mostly in the kitchen, exactly where Max knew she would be. Thankfully, or perhaps not so thankfully, Maxine was somewhat distracted getting to know Chet, but by the end of the third day her best friend's absence was very apparent, and made very little sense. Maxine became determined to get to the bottom of this strange behaviour, and, after scoping out the entire campsite, she finally found Allison sitting at the end of the wooden jetty looking out over the lake.
"So this is where you've been hiding is it?" Maxine spoke gently, not wanting to startle her friend. Allison's eyes darted around, seemingly searching for an exit, but seeing none, she resigned herself to the conversation that was about to happen.
"What's going on, Al?"
"Nothing."
"Yeah, we both know that's bullshit Allison, you haven't spoken to me for days, and I've done nothing wrong, so I really need you to tell me what the hell is going on because we have another six weeks here and you can't just ignore me the whole time." Maxine's voice grew louder and angrier with each word, sharp tears that she refused to let fall stung her eyes and her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
"Max, please, just leave it yeah?"
"No Allison, I will not just leave it, we're supposed to be best friends, why can't you just tell me what..." Maxine's heated words were brought to an abrupt stop as Allison's hands cupped her face and pulled her into a surprisingly forceful kiss.
Much to both girls surprise, Maxine didn't pull away; she didn't move at all for the first few moments, too shocked to know how to react, but before long she gave a soft sigh and melted into the sweet lips that were pressed against hers. Allison parted her lips ever so slightly to dance her tongue tentatively along Maxine's lower lip, before taking said lip between her teeth and biting so gently that Maxine almost swooned. Their lips eventually parted, but their noses rubbed together as they panted softly, their deep breaths mixing in the space between their mouths.
"I'm not gay." It probably wasn't the most tactful thing she could have said, but Maxine felt the need to clarify, before Allison could get the wrong idea.
"You sure about that?" Allison laughed hollowly, pulling away and dropping her eyes to the ground to hide the pain that she was sure would be written all over her face.
"Oh shit... you meant it, at the cabin when you said that I was beautiful, you meant it." All of the pieces suddenly clicked into place and Maxine's entire world felt like it had been turned inside out and upside down. "Allison do... do you love me?" She whispered it, so softly that she herself barely heard the sounds that the words must have made.
Still foolishly emboldened by the kiss, and figuring that it was too late to back out now, Allison turned to look deep into her best friend's eyes and said the words that she had needed to say for far longer than she had known.
"Honestly? Max, I've always been a little bit in love with you... and I think a part of me always will be."
Maxine didn't know what to say, but Allison smiled sadly at her, silently letting her know that her words would be unnecessary. The petite woman nodded slowly before dropping her head onto her best friends shoulder, and Maxine knew that everything would be okay, because even though Allison was hurting right now, their friendship was strong and she had every faith that they could get through this.