AN: Missed me? I know, it's been a fortnight. *insert shenanigans here* It's not required to listen to Same Love by Macklemore before or during or even after, nor is it to start suing an almost-twenty-something girl who adores the Merry pairing more than Miley Cyrus. They almost answered my prayers on Temple of Doom, y'all. You don't know how it feels to be an avid slash fangirl for two boys that will never happen on the show and oh my god the Night at the Roxbury reference
I apologise for the choppiness though. Laziness is my specialty.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely NOTHING. I regret absolutely EVERYTHING.
when i was in the third grade i thought that i was gay
'cause i could draw, my uncle was, and i kept my room straight
/
Nine-year-old Jack loves his parents, and he loves everything that's been given to him when he was young. However, how much would that love go? Jack keeps thinking, maybe he does like the same-sex, with his clean room and impeccable drawing. How the world interprets people who like the same-sex are the way he lives his little life.
Jack loves martial arts, though. Yeah, maybe that can make him as 'guyish' as possible. Maybe he's interpreting this the wrong way. However, ever since meeting his best friend's parents, who are basically two dads, he isn't so sure anymore. Both of the dads like the same thing he likes (besides girls,) and are pretty cool, liberal parents.
For the first time in his life, he felt so confused that he needs to tell someone. He fidgets with his fingers as he sits in front of his mother, who's reading the newspaper, eyeing whatever news that's happening. Despite that, she's definitely aware of his presence. Call it 'mother's intuition' or something. "Don't worry Jackie, your father's coming home in a few minutes with food."
Jack hates that nickname, however he doesn't give a shit when his mother calls him that. it's embarrassing to hear others say it.
"Momma, I think I'm gay."
Jack's mother looks up from the newspaper, and raises her scanty eyebrow. "Jack, you've loved girls since before pre-kindergarten."
/
When Jack turns ten, he goes to church for the first time since Easter Sunday.
No, he wasn't forced, but apparently going to church after the Easter sermon inspires the whole family to go. Jack hates church. It's so boring and tedious; Jack barely understands what's going on around him while people are clapping and crying and closing their eyes and twitching said eyes like they're on a deep REM sleep while talking to the God.
Jack never cared for religion, even if he's ten years old, with a purple belt and a best friend with two dads and girls having crushes on him like he's a Greek god or something. Ten-year-olds are usually running around and probably getting their first growth spurts or the menarche for the little girls. Ten-year-olds are rebellious and against most of the things their parents put on their heads. Ten-year-olds would appreciate their Sunday nap-time by sleeping in church.
However for this sermon, Jack couldn't sleep at all.
The whole sermon was about what's wrong and what's not. Jack tears his eyes away from the children's bible in front of him, merely because it was colorful and interactive and annoying. His parents got that for him, since it is way easier than the bible his parents hold, where it's turned to a page full of words about how wrong it is for a man to sleep with another man.
Jack is too young to know about sex, but he isn't too young to understand how it is when two men 'wrestle' each other, much like his mom and dad 'wrestle' each other and how his dad seems to win that battle.
'Thou shalt not lie in bed with a man as blah blah blah with woman…' and Jack is confused; if God didn't like how gays lived their day-to-day lives, then why did he 'create' them? How is it an abomination if He created each baby with care and love? How can He sent a stalk to each and every doorstep for a family that wanted a baby? Jack has yet to have 'that talk', but even as a young age, he never believed that half-assed 'stalk' story.
Jack looks at his parents, who clearly have offended scowls on their faces. At the end, his parents promise him that they will never go to church again. At least, not this one.
/
my love, my love, my love
she keeps me warm
/
At twelve, Jack finally knows about sex...well, mostly about heterosexual sex.
He's disgusted with the thought about his parents doing it, but when he has his first kiss, he's interested all the way. He's with his cousin, and they're sparring together (since they're both black belts) and he's fascinated how Kai faced coming out to his parents. Kai's only fifteen, and love love love (or homosexual love love love) at a high school age is apparently bull-fucking-shit and non-fucking-existent.
"Is it easy? You know, being out of the closet with auntie Kelsi?"
"No."
Despite the amused smile on Kai's face, he feels pretty stupid for asking. Sue the kid, he's only twelve, and he doesn't really have any gay friends, mostly because they're barely through puberty.
"I still fuckin' hate you, though." Jack half-asses the revelation, and they're play-fighting on the floor again.
/
Thirteen years old, and Jack moves to California from the homely Colorado.
Year round, it's hot humid subtropical weather with Pacific hurricanes, believe it or not. Jack loves it. His first day in secondary school, he meets a group of friends, and a girl - Kimberly, who goes by Kim, who has an apple on her tray and a bright bright California smile. He's so close to calling her his girlfriend in a few months, if things go well of course.
He joins a dojo - a very unpopular dojo in a strip mall, with three students at most. Kim joins him too because that's totally a thing. Jack likes her as much as she likes him, maybe even more.
The rival dojo doesn't have a chance.
/
gay is synonymous with the lesser
/
A fourteen-year-old Jack witnesses false homophobia in school.
No, it's not with his friends, per se, it's with a jerk-ass (woobie) from his rival dojo. It's seventeen-year-old Frank, who likes ballet and enjoys wearing tutus and tight tight leotards with opaque tights and flats while he plies gracefully. When the older man revealed his love for ballet, the whole school laughs at him and calls him faggot and other homophobic slurs that Jack doesn't want to repeat.
It's also not the first time Jack stood up for the jerk-ass, remembering a few days ago when he stood by Frank during a turtle incident. Doesn't mean they're friends, hell to the no.
"How does ballet make you gay? A lot of guys enjoy ballet."
Frank shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, but I strictly like girls. I've tried, and failed to take Kim out on a date for a year now."
"Maybe it's time to move on from her. Look, Donna's available."
/
Fifteen-year-old Jack has his first same-sex kiss at a party.
The party? Some party that Lorie was throwing, at her crazysexycool mansion. No one cares, as long as there's free booze and a house to trash.
How? It's seven minutes in (daten-city) heaven with his bestest best friend Jerry, who's drunk as hell - no, as fuck - and spewing words unintelligibly for the first two minutes and his lips are immediately on Jack's.
It's sweaty, and alcoholic, and slightly sweet. It's rough, and rushed, and lasts for four stinkin' minutes. Jack dislikes it. However, the Latino will never live this down, either from his friends or Jack's fresh memory.
Even when Jack whispers to Kim, "Never speak of this shit ever again."
/
and i can't change
even if i tried
even if i wanted to
/
"So go ask him out."
Sixteen-year-old Jack rolls his eyes at his best friend's shyness, which shouldn't exist. He's known Jerry for years now, and it's weird to see him so flustered around someone else. Yeah, Jerry likes guys, but ever since Jack was nine, Jack always accepted anyone, no matter the orientation or the preference, if there's a difference.
They're staring at the redhead with his head inside the lockers, crying his eyes out. Just last week, Milton broke up with his girlfriend, and the poor lad's still brooding. Jack hated to see any of his friends any sadder than they should, especially when he almost moved to Japan that one time.
"This is different, Jack. He just broke up with Julie; do you think it's right to ask him out all of a sudden?"
That is a problem; no one wants to be a rebound. However, the Hispanic has had the hots for Milton Krupnick for years. "Yeah, but I don't get what's so different about asking a guy out. It's just like asking a girl out...with no boobs, and shorter hair...well, that depends on both ends, and that they have penises and testosterone and—"
"It's completely different! Asking a guy out when you're a guy isn't particularly easy. It never will be, especially since it's the first time I ever asked a guy out!"
They watch the redhead slam his locker and storm to class, with tears staining his pubescent face. "Okay, but I'm leaving him alone for a couple of weeks. Milton looks like he's about to burst any minute now."
/
Jack waits a couple more weeks, where everyone's over the whole breakup and that now he's dating Kim and that's a thing now. Their first date, while interrupted by Milton, Jerry, and a bird, was one of the best dates he's ever had. Too bad it wasn't sealed with a kiss, thanks to her father...and the goddamn sprinklers.
"There's the new zombie-vampire movie coming out, and you know how much he loved the last one." While watching a movie for a first date is as cliché as the stupid relationship name that Joan the security cop makes for Jack and Kim, it's better than nothing.
"No, I saw the previews and it's not worth it." He watches Jerry with a small smirk on his face, despite it all. "I want to take him to the new planetarium at the arena. I heard it from him and his nerd friends that it's supposed to be good."
The sixteen-year-old looks at his best friend in awe. "Aw, you definitely know how to woo a Krupnick. Bring roses; it's the only type of flower Milton's not allergic to."
Jack chuckles at the blush on his friend's face. "Fuck you."
/
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
/
At seventeen, and an assistant sensei, Jack notices it's almost a whole year of his friends' relationship.
Kim broke up with him before moving, however they still keep in contact from time to time. She isn't that far, unless you count from the state of California to New Jersey far. Okay, it's pretty damn far. However the fact, they're still cool because fuck it, it's a thing now.
Jack walks inside his dojo, and as usual he sees his two happy peppy friends Milton and Jerry kissing each other - or rather sucking face - and Jack is already used to it. He doesn't care, because his heart is slowly healing from Kim, and that his friends can actually express their love freely. Plus it beats the times when they would walk in to find him practically fucking Kim on the sweaty mats.
"Seriously? While I'm happy you two found love, can you keep the PDA to a minimum?"
Well, maybe not everyone in certain situations. The two separate almost immediately, with a blush. "Sorry, Rudy."
The dojo needs new students, Jack notices, but Jack rather leaves that for another day.
/
love is patient
love is kind