I have seen all of these Christmas specials being thrown around all media in the past few weeks, and I figured...why don't I make a Christmas story for The New ISB? Obviously it is non canon to the story itself and in a completely different setting. Heck, this will be the first time I will be able to label a 'complete' on one of my stories! Speaking of stories, I might start making another one...I just hope it doesn't end up like TMOM, which I have NOT given up on! TISB updates have been rather sluggish lately so you just might see some updates on The Meeting of Many. This is just one of those 'fun' Christmas stories, so don't expect any epic fights or adventures.
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There were only a little bit of people and creatures around a giant tree in the middle of Town Square in an unknown city. Snow covered the ground in most places, but brick colored pavement was still visible here and there. The tree was decorated with lights all around and topped with a star. The most intriguing part was the large number of gifts under the tree ranging from a few inches in length to gifts larger than a car. The event all started when the lights on the tree began to flicker uncontrollably.
"Um, what's up with the lights?" Sasuke wondered.
"It's Rotom. Hey Rotom, come on!" Dylan shouted and the plasma Pokemon flew out of the tree, its lightning aura alternating between red and green.
"This is everybody?" Jordan wondered.
"It can't be, everyone who put a gift under the tree promised they would show up." Martha explained.
"Well it looks like they are all just late...I say we start without them and then kill them when they show up." Serena suggested.
"Bad idea. There will be no killing on THIS day."
"Look there." Devin pointed at a dark portal and Darkrai and Shaymin came out of it.
"Darkrai?! YOU'RE here?!" Sakura asked in shock while Sasuke laughed a little and Itachi smirked.
"I would watch what you say, I came here because of Shaymin." the nightmare inducing Pokemon said icily.
"It's true; it took me forever to convince him though." Shaymin added in her Sky form.
"Speaking of sky, what's up with that bat thing?" Rukia said and pointed.
"Huh? Oh that's just Jacob and his gay demon. Hang on a sec, I'll get 'em down." Edward said and took out a crossbow. He got ready to fire, but the crossbow was turned to snow by Miageru.
"Nice try." Jacob said as they landed.
"Cool, now we are just missing 5 others." Martha stated. She and the others moved back as a beam of blue light crashed down from the sky and revealed Dialga.
"Dialgas here?!" Shaymin exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Britney cheered. A portal appeared in the sky and Midna floated down while carrying Isa.
"That's an awkward pair." L mumbled.
"Yes, just two mo-" Martha stopped talking as she heard big footsteps and a loud roar.
"Groudon hates winter." Robert said.
"That's not a surprise at all, what doesn't he hate...?" Jacob said to himself. Groudon heard this and growled.
"He can still hear you, and I managed to convince him to not cause mayhem or kick your ass."
"Well we are all here at last!" Martha said and walked inside a building. A few moments later she was wheeling out a large cart filled with refreshments.
"Hnn, no sleeping human whose nightmares I can enjoy while it suffers in agony and will later suffer incurable emotional trauma..." Darkrai said to himself.
"Why are you being such a buzzkill today?" Shaymin asked.
"I don't cure hell, I create it, and I already told you what I think about Christmas."
"Well then grow green skin and stop it from coming then!"
"I would just put all of the Whos in emotionally traumatic nightmares on Christmas Eve. Crisis would pull that Grinch thing off better. I can just picture it now..."
Scene changes to the scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas where Crisis is stealing the tree from Cindy Louwho's house.
"Sandy Claws, why are you taking our tree away? Why?" she asked. Crisis just stared at her for a few moments and then quickly wrapped her up in tendrils and absorbed her. He then continued to shove the tree up the chimney.
Scene cuts back.
"Well let's get this thing started!" Martha exclaimed and took out a radio from under the tree.
"Oh god, not Christmas music..." Britney said to herself while Robert sighed in aggravation.
"At least she isn't playing this stuff in the middle of November." Dylan said and Martha turned on the radio.
(Christmas music starts to play.)
As the music started, a Garchomp wearing a necklace of Yache Berries snuck out from behind the tree and began devouring the cookies, cupcakes, and brownies. Rotom was the only one who noticed this as the others were finding the gifts that they put under the giant tree and the electric Pokemon flew over to the dragon.
"Rotom rotom!" Rotom exclaimed. Garchomp stopped and dropped the tray of cupcakes.
"Rotom rotom rotom rotom ro ro rotom!" Rotom said and Garchomp glared at him. Swords spun around the dragon and it got in a position to rush at Rotom. The ghost noticed this and quickly flew back to the gang.
"There you are Rotom! We are giving our gifts to each other and here's the one I got for ya." Dylan said and set the gift on the ground in front of the Pokemon. Rotom phased through the wrapping and possessed whatever was on the inside. It then zapped the wrapping off and Rotom possessed a laptop.
"Rotom rotom rotom rotom!!!" the Pokemon shouted excitedly.
"You like it?! Phew, cuz I wasn't sure if you wanted a Windows 7 laptop or not but I got you one."
"Rotom." Rotom stated, dispossessed the laptop, flew off, and flew back possessing a large gift. Garchomp snuck over to the laptop and started reading a story called 'CROSSVENT' on Fanfiction-net, folded the laptop up, and took it with him.
"A gift for me? Aw you shouldn't have." Dylan said and tore apart the wrapping revealing a time machine.
"A fucking time machine?! Y-you got me a time machine?! Its...amazing!" Dylan said in awe. Garchomp dashed toward the machine and jumped in. It disappeared in a flash of light, but reappeared just as quick. Garchomp looked around, handed Ramparados the laptop, and they creped back behind the tree. Ramparados opened the laptop and began reading a story called 'UT X-treme overs' on the same site.
"Well here ya go Jordan, I got you somethin." Sonic said and handed Jordan an envelope.
"An envelope? You spoil me rotten! WAIT! Sonic?! You got me a gift?!" Jordan exclaimed.
"You better believe it, now open it." Sonic said and Jordan did so.
"Oh my god! This check is PERFECT for expanding my Tiger Polo franchise! Where did you get enough cash for this many zeros?!" (Tiger Polo is the name of his bar in that dream.)
"The converting of rings to US dollars has quite the exchange rate."
"Well Sonic....you're the last person who I thought I would ever give a gift to, but I got you one." Jordan said and pushed a large a gift to him and Sonic quickly opened it.
"A blue formula 1 racecar?!"
"Fuck, I had a feeling you would hate it, and just when I thought I could repair our relationship you go back to being a dou-"
"It's sweet!"
"...Say wha?!"
"It's cool Jordan! Even though I like running more than driving, I'll still cruise around in it!"
"Then I guess it's good I put a homing missile launcher in it."
"What?!" Sonic exclaimed. Jordan walked over to the car, pressed a button on it, and a missile launcher rose up from the front.
"And you just press the button again to launch a missile." he explained and leaned on the vehicle. Garchomp poked its head out from the driver's seat, and swiftly knocked Jordan out with a swing of an arm and took the check with its teeth.
"What in th-" Sonic fell to the ground as Ramparados knocked him out with a sneak attack Head Smash. The dinosaur nodded to Garchomp and the dragon started the racecar using the spike at the end of its fin-arms as a key and quietly drove behind the tree while Ramparados followed.
"Well since you like weapons I got YOU something." Midna said to Isa and flew inside a portal. In a few moments she flew out of it with a rocket launcher with yellow markings.
"That IS an awkward couple..." Edward said.
"What, you and L?" Darkrai taunted, making Shaymin and Jacob laugh.
"Fuck off Darkrai!"
"Well it isn't awkward at all. Between the time I saved Isa from Naruto and the time we came back, we chatted and became pretty good friends; of course I wouldn't expect a gay guy to understand the bond between a male and a female." Midna ranted, making Shaymin and Jacob laugh more and Darkrai chuckle evilly.
"How does it feel being the Chew Toy in a story Edward?" Jacob taunted.
"I swear to Shrykull I will kill you all." the sparkly human said through gritted teeth.
"So uhh, what does this weapon do?" Isa asked quickly to stop the fighting.
"I thought you would never ask. Why don't you try it out?" Midna said and tossed it to him.
"Um, okay." Isa replied, pointed the gun to an open area, and pressed the trigger. Five yellow spheres shot out from 5 barrels while a blue beam shot from the middle and a blue projectile shot from the barrel above it. These then combined to form a serpentine dragon shaped projectile made of all colors of the rainbow.
"As much as that attack may remind you of Edward in dragon form, it is uber powerful."
"Thanks Midna, but too bad it isn't cannon..."
"Or is it?" Midna said and looked at the camera.
"Um Midna? You can't exactly break the fourth wall to address an idea to the author of the story and expect him to take it into consideration..."
"Hn."
"Well I actually got you a gift believe it or not." Isa said and set down the weapon to hand his gift to the Twili. Garchomp dug up from the ground near the weapon and took it with him without notice. He then accidentally pulled the trigger, blasting him many meters underground, but causing the hole to collapse on itself to conceal it. The dragon then dug out of the ground and wearily walked back behind the tree while dragging the Dragon Pulsar.
"Yeah, the portal to Milky Way World! Where did you find it?!" Midna exclaimed while holding a paining of dark blue clouds with stars on it.
"Well I went inside a castle with a locked door in the lobby, using an odd key to open the locked door I climbed up a spiraling staircase, opened another door, and turned to my right. There I saw the painting right next to yet another staircase." Isa explained. Garchomp saw the painting and dashed at it, but seemingly went right inside of it.
"Should I go into this now...or later....?" Midna pondered. Garchomp poked its head out of the painting and started to climb out, making Midna freak out and throw the painting.
"You know, I never went INSIDE that painting, so there must be some alien dragons in there." Isa stated and Ramparados quickly grabbed the painting, ran behind the tree, and shook Garchomp out.
"Um, Bryce...I got you a weapon for Christmas." Rukia said semi-nervously. Bryce gave her a confused look and Rukia handed the adult Vexian a diamond.
"This is the perfect weapon Rukia, thank you." he said and gave Rukia 15 diamonds using his manipulation powers.
"RUKIA!" Ichigo exclaimed, running up to her.
"Hey Ichigo." Rukia replied and was nearly stabbed by Ichigo handing her a large burning sword.
"It's a flameberge, a pretty badass sword."
"Thanks Ichigo! I got you something too." Rukia said and set down her gems and flameberge, which were stolen by Garchomp, and handed Ichigo his gift. The swordsman opened it, revealing a harpoon.
"Thanks Rukia, but...why a harpoon?"
"Well you seem to have a lot of enemies that are fish." Rukia said and laughed a little.
"Hn." the swordsman said and shot the weapon at a nearby building. The weapon was connected to the firing mechanism by some kind of rope and could retract with the press of a button, but before Ichigo could press it, Shaymin flew by with mistletoe.
"Part two of your gift!"
"Part two...?"
"Look up!"
"Get out of he-" Ichigo yelled, noticing Shaymin, but was interrupted by Rukia making out with him. The swordsman dropped the weapon in shock and the dragon Pokemon took it.
"Foolish little brother, your pink haired girlfriend and I have gifts for you." Itachi said.
"S-seriously?" Sasuke stammered and Sakura handed him a bouquet of cherry blossom flowers.
"We sure did...though I don't know what Itachi h-" Sakura stopped as she noticed the older Uchiha push over a gift that was logs stacked in a box shape with 'FLB' engraved on each one.
"A FLB log box? Tha-" Sasuke stopped as Itachi set fire on the logs right in the center to create a large Amaterasu bonfire. Itachi looked at them and they just stared at him, bugeyed.
"You hate it?" Itachi asked with his usual expression.
"N-no! It's just a little...odd." Sasuke said.
"You think that's odd, wait till you see what I got your girlfriend."
"I have a name you know!" Sakura exclaimed.
"I know that and so does my foolish little brother, but you don't hear me calling him 'Sasuke' very often. Hm, anyway here is your gift Sakura." Itachi said and handed her a potted Piranha Plant.
"AHH! I mean...its g-great Itachi!" Sakura said, sweating a little as the plant snapped at her. Sasuke quickly handed her some roses and the plant noticed them and calmed down.
"Gee, I try give out gifts and this is my thanks?" Itachi said semi-sarcastically.
"Itachi, if we weren't your friends then we wouldn't have gotten you a flamethrower filled with Amaterasu fire and 5 bottles of pepper spray." Sakura said as her and Sasuke handed the older Uchiha the gifts. Itachi unwrapped them and they were indeed a flamethrower and pepper spray bottles.
"Um, thank you. I always thought you hated me though Sakura and where did you get the Amaterasu fire?"
"A badass wolf with the same name." Sasuke explained.
"Well I always thought you hated ME Itachi, but I guess we were both wrong." Sakura answered.
"Well that's good to know." Itachi replied, smiling with his eyes closed. Garchomp and Ramparados distracted them with Flash Cannon and Dragon Pulse and swiftly stole their gifts too.
"Here is a gift that I don't know if you really need or not." Jacob said, handing a dark orb to Miageru while eyeing the camera. The demon stared at the ball and it swiftly struck him in the heart. Miageru held its head up high and fired a beam of darkness into the sky.
"Hahaha! Too bad this story is non canon eh?" Edward taunted. Miageru then swiftly shot him with another beam of darkness. The demon snapped its fingers and a helper monkey ran up to Jacob and hopped on his head, the monkey then pulled out a chew toy and started squeaking it. Edward, realizing what that meant, burst out laughing. Ramparados pulled out a banana to lure the monkey over to them and it worked.
"Not even monkeys like y-" Edward stopped abruptly when L shoved a gift in his face.
"So much for 'tis the season to be jolly'..." he said sternly and Edward sighed.
"....Yeah, your right......" Edward uttered and opened up his gift. He then looked at L angrily and the detective smirked.
"SPARKLERS!?!!? THAT DOESN'T EVEN BELONG IN THIS HOLIDAY!!!" Edward shouted with a popped vein and threw the container of tea mix at L's face.
"Karmas a bitch isn't it?" Darkrai said and laughed evilly while Jacob burst out laughing. Edward just continued to glare at L a little more while blushing in embarrassment.
"Stop thinking about L." Shaymin said and this caused Jacob and Darkrai to laugh even more. Garchomp and Ramparados first looked at the group, looked at each other, and shook their heads.
"Um, Groudon, I got the name of the worlds largest volcano, Mauna Loa, changed to yours. Don't ask me how I managed to pull it off, in fact, nobody ask." Robert said and Groudon roared excitedly. The colossal Pokemon then reached back and grabbed a crate about the size of its palm. It then flipped the container over and a decent amount of corpses fell out of it. Garchomp and Ramparados backed up even though they were hidden and Robert just stared at the bodies with a shocked look on his face.
"Uhhh...thanks for the corpses Groudon!" he said uneasily.
"Nightmares for me tonight." Sakura said.
"Then I will see you at twelve." Darkrai said evilly.
"Heyyyy Darkrai! I got you a gift!" Shaymin said excitedly and handed the dark Pokemon a present. Darkrai stared at it, unimpressed but opened it anyway.
"What is it?" he asked nonchalantly.
"It's a DVD of the movie 'The Exorcist'! It is REALLY creepy!"
"Then I will have to watch this before I visit Sakura, I would thank you Shaymin, but I have too much pride."
"Dialga, I got you a legal document that says that you now own the clock Big Ben in London." Britney said and the dragon teleported the paper into its realm.
"WHAT?!" L exclaimed and did a spit take with his tea.
"GROOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!" the god of time roared and a large pink orb appeared in front of Britney.
"It's amazing!" she exclaimed.
"GROOOOOOHHHH!!!"
"The Lustrous Orb?"
"GROOOOOOOHHHHH!!!" Dialga roared and Britney was speechless.
"Thank....you." she said quietly in a trance-like voice. Garchomp and Ramparados growled as they knew they wouldn't be able to steal that.
"Looks like we are all that's left Serena. Since you are the manifestation of evil, darkness, and death, I figured it would be a good option." Devin said and handed her a gift. Serena smiled when she opened it, it was a scythe.
"Thanks Devin." she replied.
"Merry Christmas Serena."
"And since you're the manifestation of goodness, light, and life, I got you this." she said and pushed a large gift over to the albino Vexian while Garchomp stole the scythe. Devin opened it and was both grateful and shocked about what he got. It was an Iron Maiden, stained with blood.
"Serena...I-"
"Awesome isn't it?" she said and opened the torture device up, revealing spikes stained with even more blood.
"Thank you Serena." Devin said sincerely.
"I don't think your presents are quite over with yet." Shaymin said and flew over them while holding mistletoe.
"Mi-mi-mi-mistletoe?!" Devin stammered.
"You know what that means right?" Rukia asked erotically and continued to make out with Ichigo.
"Y-yeah, but me and Serena?!"
"Well you know the rules Devin." Serena said quietly, walked over to her best friend, stared at him for a while, and then kissed him passionately. Everyone looked at them in shock, even Darkrai. During this time, Ramparados quickly pushed the iron maiden behind the tree. Serena parted lips with Devin and he just looked at her in shock while blushing like crazy.
"S-serena?! D-do you....lo-"
"Don't be silly Devin, it was mistletoe......I swear."
"Rotom Rotom?" Rotom wondered.
"I don't know Rotom; now that you mention it...my fucking time machine is gone!" Dylan replied.
"My racecar is gone too!" Sonic exclaimed.
"And whoever took it stole my check!" Jordan said.
"My painting is gone. unless I threw it to far..." Midna stated.
"There goes my non-canon weapon." Isa said.
"I hope some damn fish didn't steal my harpoon!" Ichigo shouted.
"My flameberge is missing as well." Rukia stated.
"My cherry blossoms! And how did someone steal a bonfire?" Sasuke wondered,
"There goes my plants..." Sakura said.
"I probably should have used my gifts on this person." Itachi said to himself.
"My monkey is gone!" Jacob exclaimed.
"My scythe is missing, how did we not notice this stuff before?" Serena wondered.
"Plot." Martha replied.
"My iron maiden!" Devin said.
"No idiot would be dumb enough to try and take this." Darkrai said.
"And nobody would be crazy enough to try and take the Lustrous Orb." Britney added.
"And no psycho would be sadistic enough to try and take these bodies." Robert stated.
"Why does that bother you, aren't you a necrophile?" Edward taunted.
"WHA-" Robert stopped when Groudon roared angrily, grabbed Robert in one hand and Edward in the other, and threw the sparkly human into the giant Christmas tree. The god of earth then set the tree ablaze with Fire Blast.
"HOLY FUCK!" Dylan shouted while Darkrai laughed evily. The tree was reduced to ashes and Edward was nearly dead.
"Once again, karmas a bitch." Jacob said. Dialga then sent Edward back to better health with a Roar of Time, yet out of town square. After the craziness, the gang looked in awe as Garchomp and Ramparados have arranged their gifts in a star shape, with the bonfire burning in the middle.
"Well that is just nice." Martha said.
"Should we wrap this up?" Shaymin asked.
"Yes, get ready everyone!" Martha said and the gang faced the screen.
"We wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!" everyone except Darkrai said while Dialga, Groudon, Ramparados, and Garchomp roared and Rotom and Miageru flew around.
"What they said." Darkrai added.
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Well there you have it! The New ISB Christmas Special is complete and so is my very first fic.
Jordan saying Sonic spoils him rotten with an envelope is a reference to a movie called Igor, calling the time machine 'a fucking time machine' is a TMOM reference, the badass wolf Amaterasu is a reference to the main character in Okami, and you'll have to figure out the Milky Way World reference by yourself. I also figured Jacob would be pleased with Edward being the Chew Toy in this story and I did enjoy making fun of him.
CROSSVENT is written by Twilight Kyu
UT X-treme overs is written by E-Guy the Blood Reaver/E-Guy is on a killing spree
Merry Christmas everyone!