She had just dropped Cassie off at Janet's place, she drove three blokes when she had to pull over the tears had become too much. What was she doing she knew that she wanted to keep her; from the moment she meet the little girl on the Hanka that she loved her. After wiping the tears from her eyes she stared driving with no real direction in mind, before she knew it she had arrived at her CO's house. She stopped again and just let herself cry, she became startled by a tap at the window.
"Hey Carter." Opening the door to her car.
"Sorry sir, I-I don't." Until her sobs had taken her completely over.
"c'mere." Wrapping his arms around Sam, holding her tightly he had some idea what was wrong. As she started calming down she pulled out of the embrace.
"I'm sorry sir I don't know what I was thinking." Wiping her face.
"Don't worry about it why don't you come in and we can talk, hey." Smiling softly as he walking towards the house.
"Sir I don't." But she was cut off.
"Carter doesn't make me make it an order." Smiling widely
"Yes, Sir." Following him into his house, as she entered she realised this was the first time she had ever been to his house which made her nervous.
"Beer, Carter?" heading to the fridge.
"Yes, Thank you Sir." She was hovering in the in between the kitchen and lounge room not sure what she was doing. Jack comes over holding to beers, he handed one over to Sam. He walked over to the arm chair and sat down. Sam was still hovering around in a slight day dream.
"Carter, sit down and relax would you." Taking a swig from his beer, she just nodded and sat down silently on the couch.
"So, you gonna tell me what that was about." She just sat there, and took a swig of her own beer. "Well I think I can guess what it about." He pauses looking at her face. "Cassie, you love her don't you." Her voice told her everything he needs to know "Yes but..." "There's no buts Carter, you were willing to die with her, I know you say that you thought that cause she woke up she'd be okay but somewhere inside that mind of yours you must of know there was a chance you were wrong." He had moved over to the couch and placed a hand on her back.
"But I love my job to." Thankful for the support
"Will did you ask if you could have both, I know it wouldn't be easy but it's doable."
"I couldn't, what would happen when we go on long mission or what if something happens to me, she just lost everyone she new. I-I couldn't let her go through that if I can help it." He was sitting next to her listening to ever word.
"Carter if you had to choose being on SG-1 full time or your dohickeys. Science or Air forces." He had been wondering the answer himself, he had a hunch.
"Science, it would be my 'dohickeys', it has always be my first love." Trying to figure out where he was going with this.
"Carter now don't take this the wrong way, because it would be a great loss to the team, but couldn't you leave SG-1 but not the SGC." She had thought of that, she had gone throw so many possibilities but they had all made her that much more confused. "You could still go through the gate just not as regularly as you have been."
Standing up abruptively "Sir, your right, i have to go, but thanks sir." She was talking the fast he's ever heard and she was moving just as quick she was almost out the door before she finished.