"Dad, mail's here"
"All right!" Peter leaps up from the couch to get it from Chris. Louise walks in.
"All right, 50,000 dollars!" says Peter.
Louise takes the letter and replies, "Peter, it's a credit card. It just shows how much you can get"
"Good, cause I don't know if I'd feel safe carrying all that money."
Stewie is playing with some toys on the floor in front of the couch. He has a fire truck and some firemen action figures. The figures are assembled in a small pile and some plastic fire shaped accessories with fire colored stickers on them surround the figures.
"Oh yes, that's right - burn. We'll see how long those safety suits last you. Can you feel the burning cinders on your skin, I say, where's the fire now Chief!" and he starts to run over the figures with the truck back and forth.
"Stewie, honey, you got a surprise in the mail," she picks him up.
"Blast! Unhand me you wench"
She sits on the couch and places Stewie next to her. She opens a small box.
"What do you have there?" Stewie demands.
"Patience," she replies.
"I didn't know they packaged that"
She holds up the book, "See, mommy got you Hooked On Phonics"
"So that's what you've been putting in my food! What is it? Some new street form of LSD"
"Daddy and I are going to teach you to read. Aren't we honey"
"In-between McGyver and beers," answers Peter.
"Peter!" she calls out.
"What? You're the one who wanted more honesty"
"Read you say? Ha! You have betrayed yourself woman! I shall use this new found knowledge to my advantage!" he grabs the book and holds it against his chest.
"See Peter, he loves it"
Stewie looks through the book, "A, B, C huh? This looks rather simple. I don't know why I've never tried it before."
Megan walks into the kitchen. Brian is sitting at the table drinking a martini with an olive and is reading the New York Times lying flat on the tabletop.
Meg gets a glass from a cabinet and opens the fridge. She pours a drink and walks over to Brian.
"Isn't it a little early to be drinking?" she asks.
"Not in dog time"
"I know about dog years, but dog time? How does that work?" she asks.
"Rather smoothly if we don't get into the particulars"
She looks at him.
"Ah, I know. The lie just wasn't worth the effort I'd have to put in," says Brian.
Before she leaves she turns around and asks, "Brian, have you seen my windbreaker? The blue one with the words on the back"
"No ... can't say I have"
"Well, thanks. Let me know if you do," says Megan.
"I will do that." She exits the kitchen. He takes a sip of the martini and puts his free hand on his head, "Oh lord Brian, why?"