Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Disgaea
"Jeez. I spent so much time in that kunai."
"What did you just say, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, his sensitive ears were only barely able to pick up the blond's mutter. "You spent time in that kunai?"
"Umm..." Naruto seemed to think for a moment and then decided. "Yes, I was in the kunai. It's a very long story and I don't want to get into it."
"You are so weird, Naruto." Sakura said. "Always mumbling..."
Kakashi silently agreed and he shook his head. This was not at all how he expected Minato's son to be. The boy was strange. Very energetic and capable, but also distracted, as though he were a world away. A touch of genuine talent and ingenuity shone through the obfuscating stupidity every now and then, but those moments were few and far between. "Naruto if you care so much about your kunai you can dive into the lake and go get it. On that note, today's lessons are complete. We'll meet back up on Monday for a few missions." The jounin was gone in a poof of smoke.
Sakura turned to the last of the Uchiha. "Sasuke, do you want to walk home together?"
"I'm not in the mood for you today, just go home." Sakura looked disappointed but seemed otherwise unaffected by the complete rejection she had just suffered.
"Ok, see you later, Sasuke-kun." She left to go home.
Sasuke watched in silence and he noticed that she still refused to acknowledge Naruto's existence after nearly 3 months of being on the same Genin Team. This team that he had been assigned to was a farce. To put both him and Naruto on one team was an anomaly. The top three students in a graduating class had not been put together in nearly 40 years. But the personalities in this team clashed in terrible ways.
He was well aware that he was not the easiest person to be around – his silence made people uncomfortable but he did not care. For what reason should he interact with those unable to further his goals? Naruto had a huge social stigma against him and most people were swayed by the rumors that floated around Konoha, none of which were true. When he was younger Naruto had been an irritating prankster but around the same time as the Massacre, his personality changed and he turned into a slightly crazed space-case. He would drift off in midsentence and walk somewhere else or start laughing like a loon for no apparent reason.
Sakura could be overwhelming at times to say the least. Sasuke did not enjoy having the girl on his team. She was a liability in his eyes. They had only performed D-Rank missions until now, but Sasuke knew for sure that when things got dangerous Sakura would be of no help. Naruto was the only one in the Academy who could match the Uchiha in combat, and even now he suspected that Naruto was more advanced than himself. The very thought was maddening.
Kakashi was one of the least responsible jonin in Konoha and one of its most powerful. Knowing his sensei's reputation, Sasuke was unsure of whether he would be an effective presence during combat. Would Kakashi drift off during a fight and start reading Icha-Icha? The man's idiocy was boundless.
His blond teammate stood across from him. Sasuke had nearly forgotten his presence when the boy spoke, "I can tell that you want something from me. What is that?"
"You've been hiding something." Sasuke's eyes were wide with fury as the words left him – he had held this in for weeks now, "There is a reason that you are so far ahead of the rest of us, you're hiding some hidden talent or technique from Sakura and I. Even in the Academy you were always just ahead of me! If not for written tests you could have taken Rookie of the Year! You act like an idiot, but you always hold something back. And now this? You were IN a kunai? I know that wasn't a slip of the tongue."
"So what? Since when are shinobi required to be full-disclosure?"
"Naruto, you don't understand! I need power." Sasuke resisted the urge to grab Naruto by his collar. He had the distinct feeling that he might lose a digit if he tried to do that.
A grin played its way across the Jinchuriki's face. "Sasuke, let me tell you what, I'm going to make you an offer."
"What kind of offer?"
"I'll only tell you if you do something for me."
"And that is?"
"Go get my kunai from the bottom of the lake." Naruto said in a deadpan tone.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "So you want me to be your errand boy?"
"That's a good word for it! But, no, you wont be an errand boy. Something far more useful. Anyway, shut up and get my kunai."
The Uchiha scowled at the way that he was being dismissed but he decided to play along. If this turned out to be a waste of his time, he would put Naruto at the bottom of this lake, along with his kunai. He walked to the lake's edge, inhaled deeply, and dove in.
Naruto watched, amusement clear on his face as Sasuke searched for his tool. In his defense, this was honestly a kunai worth diving into a lake for. Naruto had descended quite a few levels in that particular weapon. It was razor sharp and always would remain so. It was lean and light and seemed to grab your hand while you needed it and to flow away when you threw it. It wasn't perfect but it was getting there.
When Sasuke finally found the kunai he kicked swiftly up to the surface. He could tell, even underwater, that this weapon was different. As soon as he broke to the surface his eyes were locked on the weapon. And yet he was surprised. He was expecting an ornately made blade or a delicately carved handle and yet he saw a plain kunai. His eyes went from the wet steel to Naruto, standing on the shore.
"Now do you want to hear what I have to say?"
Naruto's apartment was nearly exactly what Sasuke expected it to be like. It was messy and covered in scrolls and clothes and ramen cups. There were a wide variety of weapons all around the place as well. Sasuke saw swords and staffs and shields and armor. There was a bow and a bo staff and a strange claw like weapon and many other kinds. Which was what he hadn't expected.
"Are all these weapons like this kunai?" Sasuke, who was still holding the knife, asked with wonder in his eyes.
"No, these are just weapons that I came across..." Naruto said evasively. "The good weapons, like that one, are put away, nicely. They're valuable.
"Ok, whatever. Why did we come here?"
Naruto grew serious. He went to a nearby closet. Sasuke could barely get a look but he could swear that he saw a red pyramid in the closet that Naruto slid over a few feet. Sasuke's eyebrow quirked. What the hell was this?
"No one can hear us now. That pyramid you saw was a no entry geo-symbol. Nobody hears anything because nothing can leave this space, not even sound or air."
"What the hell are you talking about, Naruto?"
"This is what I have to show you. I'm not like normal people, Sasuke." Naruto grinned. "I'm a demon."
Sasuke's body shifted into a more aggressive stance. "I don't know what you're getting at here, Naruto. Is this some sort of joke? Its not funny."
"Seriously, I'm a demon" Naruto insisted; his teammate was clearly not buying it. He contemplated his options. He could try his best to talk Sasuke into belief or he could cram the idea into his skull. With fear.
Using the fox's energy to intimidate the Uchiha would be foolish, use your own demonic energy. It will be enough, for this one.
Naruto nodded at the sage advice and let his demonic presence flare off of him. Thin wisps of energy drifted away from the blond, visible to the eye, with a slight red sheen. The Uchiha began to feel a bit uncomfortable in it's presence, as the power seemed foreign and quite powerful. "See?"
Sasuke leapt back several feet, kunai in hand.
Naruto laughed, "No need to get all defensive, trust me it wouldn't even help." He let the malevolent aura subside. "I'm not a bad demon, I'm no threat to you. There are other worlds that need attending to. Maybe later I'll do something about this place, but for now, I could care less." Sasuke seemed a little less on guard. Naruto continued, "I should just get this out quickly. Sasuke, if you make a pact with me, you will gain power faster than you thought possible."
"A pact?" His mind was racing, how could he even begin to consider this question? "What's the catch, there's always a catch with you demons, right?"
"There is a catch, but it only ensures that you will be powerful and that you will have plenty of fighting experience against the most powerful of opponents." Sasuke's eyes lit up. "You will be my vassal as I become the most powerful demon in the Netherworld. I have a certain someone that I need to overcome. I feel that we are very similar in that regard."
"So we do this, I become your servant?"
"That's right. But don't worry, I have actual servants, you wont need to do anymore than to fight when and where I say you should fight."
Sasuke appraised his blond teammate. Was this all true? Was it possible that it could be? The fearsome energy could have been anything, perhaps an unknown bloodline of some sort. "I need proof. How can I believe you and all of this? It's all ridiculous."
Naruto smirked at him. "Sasuke, let me show you something." The blond began to walk away and he led Sasuke into his bedroom. Unlike the rest of the home it was immaculate, though simply furnished. A smallish bed, table (upon which a scroll was unfurled), chair and bookshelf. On top of the bookshelf resting safely on a stand, was a sword. It was quite long, double-egded and made of a gleaming silver. There was a small triangle cut out on both sides of the blade about midway through its length.
"This blade, Leivatein, was improved using the same method as that kunai. Inside of each weapon exists a whole world, more massive than you could imagine. Monsters live in each and every tool that the living use to kill one another. These worlds exist in every weapon you have ever held. They feed on the death that weapons bring into the world." Sasuke eyed the sword on the stand and the kunai that he still held in his hand. "These weapons are different because someone descended into that hell, that Item World; and purged it of those monsters. I did that kunai. Someone far more powerful than I, made that sword. That is why it is my treasure."
"Who made that?" With this knowledge in mind, the blade seemed different to Sasuke. It was exactly how a sword was supposed to be, there was no other way to say it. The edges glistened like glass in the sun. It's proportions were exact and so utterly balanced and measured that Sasuke was unsure if what he was seeing could possibly be truth. "It is... Breathtaking."
"The man who made that sword is the same one that I long to surpass."
"You have a long way to go." The Uchiha said with a shake of his head.
"From what I hear, Sasuke, so do you."
"Are you sure you want to do this? It is quite likely that you could die a gazillion miles away from home fighting some gigantic flaming demon dragon guy. I would wager that your first priority is vengeance, correct?" Sasuke nodded.
Just as I had predicted, an all too familiar voice spoke in Naruto's mind. Make the contract, Naruto.
Naruto continued his questioning, it would be unfair not to let Sasuke know just what he was getting into. "You would be doing this dying solely because of my whims and ambition, you realize this?" Another nod. "I will be honest, you are going to gain great power in time. But the enemies we will face later on will be quite... Dangerous. Knowing that you may be robbed of your life and your life's goal, are you sure that you want to make the contract?"
"No amount of danger is enough to stray my path." He fixed Naruto with a hard stare, "Naruto, I can now appreciate and tolerate your presence for one simple reason. You are a path to strength, all of this demon nonsense I couldn't care less about. My life is my goal, I AM VENGEANCE. Itachi will pay fo-" Sasuke seemed to catch himself and forcibly regained his cool. "There is nothing that will stop me, Naruto. I will fight and die for you if I must – but in return, you must never restrain me from achieving my destiny."
"Sasuke, I'll arrange a warp portal to his damn front door if I get the opportunity."
"Then we understand each other."
"Welcome to your life as my Vassal. Congratulations." A hand shake sealed the deal. Sasuke felt woozy for a moment and just as he pulled his hand away he felt a burning sensation at the end of his thumb. He looked down and his hand was actually letting off smoke.
"What is this?
Naruto smirked toothily and answered, "My mark! You didn't believe a handshake was enough did you? Check your thumb, vassal."
"Are you..." Onto the tip of his thumb was now etched a tiny black spiral. "...serious?" All of a sudden reality sunk in for Sasuke and the full weight of his impulsive decision fell squarely on his shoulders.
His new master, Naruto, clapped him heartily on the back and said with gusto, "DAMN STRAIGHT I'm serious, VASSAL! Now we celebrate this most auspicious of occasions!"
His eye twitched at the declaration. "How?"
"BOOZE!"
Sasuke thoroughly regretted ever encountering alcohol as he stumbled back to his lonely compound. The headache that accompanied the morning light was so constant and aggravating and mind numbing that he was considering swearing drinking off for life. Legally, both he and Naruto (and any genin) were allowed to purchase and consume the stuff, but it was not common that 12 year olds drank recreationally. The blond idiot had insisted that they do it because of tradition and that the first Vassal was a very meaningful thing to an Overlord.
Despite himself, Sasuke had to admit that he had a good time. Naruto, when he wasn't being weird and air-headed was actually good company. It also helped that the alcohol had loosened the stoic Uchiha up a good deal. Naruto showed him around his apartment a bit and they spoke for a while about a potential weapon for Sasuke. Nothing sprang to mind and they decided to wait until they could test a few out. That was early in the night and so they were still quite composed, if more talkative.
By the nights end they had loosened up considerably and Sasuke remembered with a grimace that the subject of FEELINGS of all things had somehow came into play. The exchange was short - but the angry young man was positive that he had broken his trademark cold exterior while under the influence of that terrible stuff. Alcohol – the worst thing ever. Sasuke decided after little deliberation.
He shuffled past the empty houses and was thankful that for once he was in too much pain to contemplate his massacred family and happy days before Itachi went psycho. It was all too much to bear at times, living in this empty husk of a district. What good was all this land and space with no one to fill it? He could remember a sea of raven heads drifting along throughout the day; happily continuing to serve and protect Konoha. The Uchiha had been such a proud people... Apparently not even the sting of a hangover could distract Sasuke from his angst and hatred.
Sasuke was damn-near excited over the prospect of becoming Naruto's vassal. The power that his newly adopted master promised him was all too enticing. He would seek Naruto out later in the day and demand that they get started doing whatever being a vassal entailed. But first, he would have a tall glass of orange juice and crawl straight back into bed. His brain was still pounding out a steady beat against the inside of his skull. To his tired, vengeful mind, the pounding sounded like the drums of war.
The knocking at Naruto's door managed to tear him away from his latest project. He was working on a way to create stronger armor for his Prinny squad to use during combat. The team of forsaken souls were the only fighting force that Naruto could assemble with the small amount of influence and power he had in the Netherworld. He currently had 4 Prinnys working around the clock to fix up the small stone keep he had managed to adopt as his own in an isolated corner of a barren wasteland- well removed from higher traffic areas of the Netherworld.
His Advisor had informed him of what to look for in a base of operations. The most important factor was, naturally, location. Naruto had been advised to find a place that had once thrived but that was now desolate and empty. In other words, a total dump. His Prinny Squad made short work of the search and had spent the last several months making the dump hospitable.
There was little for Naruto to do in the mean time. He had been advised to take up seals and the sealing arts while in his home world; the ninja art would supplement the convoluted enchantments on most demonic items nicely. His Advisor told him that an enchantment demon was LUDICROUSLY expensive to hire and that he would most likely be Overlord before such a purchase was viable. At the time, Naruto had merely shrugged it off, but now that he was hunched over his table – hands covered in ink and head full of strange symbols and kanji he had never heard of – he decided that an enchantment demon would make things simpler and would look into securing one.
You're wasting your time, kid. A high-level demon like that would never join the ranks of one so puny and untested as you; even if you had the cash. You've never even flayed an enemy alive and hung them from your rafters! How do you expect to gain respect?
"Whatever, whatever – the flaying and murder will come later. Once I've organized a decent fighting force and trained myself up a bit. Isn't that what you told me would work?"
KNOCK KNOCK
Feh, that's just cuz you're weak. If it were me-
Naruto snorted and yanked at the Pravda Necklace secured around his neck. "You'd be trapped in a piece of your own jewelery and forcing a 12 year old ninja to fight your old battles for you."
I'm not forcing – I'm coercing you into it.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Same difference. Anyway, I know you want the best for me, I do appreciate it, you know! If not for you I'd still be-"
Enough of that appreciative garbage. I saw an opportunity in a misguided young man with latent Demonic potential and decided to help you help me! You are nothing more than an overrated scooter to me! Wheeling me where I need to be in order to exact vengeance! Don't you know who I am? I AM THE GREAT LAHARL! You, Uzumaki Naruto, are just around to make sure people don't forget the former Overlord- GREATEST OF THEM ALL! - Laharl, son of Krichevskoy! If anyone asks I'm a negative influence and I've been trying to get you to drink human blood for years now!
"Jeez, I get it. You're a demon. You're scary. You'd think you would give up on this talk after so many years of being nice to me."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKOCKOCK
Stop sassing me and get the door! It's probably that prissy vassal of yours.
Naruto was broken out of his thoughts once again by knocking at the door. He made a face as he realized that his guest, most likely Sasuke, had been waiting for a few minutes now. The blond jinchuriki/demon leapt to his feet and attempted to smudge some of the ink staining his hands onto his shirt- which was black anyway. He opened the door just as Sasuke was about to knock again, quite forcefully and was rewarded with several thuds against his head courtesy of one angry Uchiha.
Sasuke took in his disheveled appearance and asked, "Am I interrupting something?"
"Nah, dont worry about it." Naruto responded as he stepped aside so Sasuke could enter his home. "So what's up, vassal?"
"Are you always going to call me that?"
"Probably. I might call you Lackey or Henchman to switch it up every now and then. Or how about Minion?!"
"Oh, gods. What did I involve myself with?"
Naruto thwacked Sasuke on the back good-naturedly. "Hey, it's all cool! Today, we make a foray into the Netherworld so you can check out my digs!"
Sasuke nodded before he eyed his teammate. "Why don't you behave like this in public? People wouldn't think you're so weird if you stopped muttering to yourself all the time and acted like a normal person. Or at least a very annoying normal person."
"My Advisor has told me many a time, that one should wear 4 faces. One for the Masses and people you generally don't give a damn about – who's gonna think about an airheaded wierdo more than they have to? One for your allies and friends – the current charming persona you see before you now. Another for you enemies – should be cruel and merciless, so they never raise a hand against you again. And the last is one you wear in private – your true self."
"I see. Who is this advisor, exactly?"
The blond smirked and said, "An old friend of mine. You might get to meet him one day, if we meet someone talented with enchantments or runes."
"What the hell does that have to do with it?" Sasuke asked impatiently.
"Let's just say he's indisposed at the moment. He's a little... Cramped where he is... Although he's not one to HANG around people like us!" Naruto laughed for a good while at his pun and he lifted the Pravda Necklace up for Sasuke to see.
Sasuke, however made no connection with the Necklace and Naruto's mysterious advisor. He chalked up the confusing laughter to Naruto's general craziness.
Sasuke looked around the inside of Naruto's closet and aside from a few weapons and scrolls, an umbrella and several coats – he could see three red pyramids, virtually devoid of features, each about one foot in height with a square base also roughly one foot wide. "So what the hell is this, geo-things, right?"
"These, my dear minion, are geo-symbols. You drop them on a geo-panel and you get a certain effect. There are a whole load of varieties, but these are pretty common."
The Uchiha looked down at the squat pyramids with wonder. "What do they do?"
"I'm very glad you asked that! This one on the left," he gestured to said geo-symbol, "is the No-Entry geo symbol I told you about before. It restricts any sort of departure or entry into a designated space, specifically the confines of my apartment. This one here is a geo-symbol that helps you learn faster and your training goes a bit quicker. An Experience geo-symbol so to speak."
Sasuke's eyes bulged at the implications of the symbol.
"Yeah. Exactly." Naruto said with much satisfaction. "Being a demon has it's perks, no?"
"This is getting better and better, Naruto."
Naruto smirked at that and said grandly, "You've haven't even begun to reap the benefits of being my vassal. This last one is the one we are using today, it is a Warp geo symbol. It connects two separate spaces both linked by a geo-panel. This is how we will leave the village today."
"Good, let's get started."
"Eager, neh?" The blond answered as he shoved the geo-symbol into position beside the already active No-Entry symbol. "Step onto the glowing red square please."
"What square?"
He sighed and then thwacked his forehead with an open palm. "Oh, right. You aren't a demon yet – you can't see it."
"WHAT?!"
"Don't worry dont worry, you're not gonna grow horns. You'll barely even be a demon." At this, Sasuke seemed to calm slightly. But he was not happy.
"Explain yourself."
Naruto 'tsked' at his new vassal and corrected, "Explain yourself, sir." Seeing that Sasuke was not at all amused, he decided to press onward. "We can deal with common courtesy later, I guess. Anyway, in order to deal with the kind of baddies we are going to be bumping heads with, you need to get... Upgraded, basically. The only change will be to your chakra system, which will also end up creating more changes to your body as you become stronger. These changes however will merely serve to make your body more efficient, stronger and resilient. A body worthy of serving as my first vassal and right hand man."
Sasuke seemed pacified for the moment and Naruto felt it was safe to continue. "Since you can't see it, I'll go first. Just step where I do, alright?" He received a nod in return.
"Alright. See you on the other side." Naruto took a step to his right and one step forward and with a small flash of light and a little 'pop' he was gone.
Sasuke eyed the patch of floor warily for a few moments before he threw caution to the wind and followed after his new master.
"What is this place?" The Uchiha asked as he searched the room with his eyes. It was a dingy little room with wide, coarse, stone bricks lining the walls and floor. He had to squint a bit as the only available light was a solitary torch perched over what appeared to be a shoddily made wooden coffin. Naruto had settled himself directly beside the coffin, the torch at his back, his face obscured by darkness.
Naruto's hand went to rest on the coffin. "This is a tomb." He gestured around the barren room and continued, "An unfitting tomb for a great demon... Well, it was a tomb."
"It used to be a tomb? What is it now?"
"A useful little doorway." Naruto opened the coffin and inside was an opaque mass of energy, swirling in on itself and flashing, melting, changing from blue to white and back and forth between. As he took in Sasuke's bewildered expression, Naruto let out a chuckle. "So now you've seen your first Warp Portal. Impressed?"
"Where did this thing come from?"
"When this great demon was sent to this world – a form of exile – he was stripped of his body." Naruto thumped on the cruddy wooden panels of the coffin. "Believe it or not, this coffin is a magical object of serious power. This coffin used the demon's own power to annihilate its body and used the excess energy to jump into this world. If not for this demon's great ability with energy manipulation – he would have been destroyed forever – cast into oblivion, the most final form of death."
"I see. Who was this demon?"
"A very important one. The former Overlord, and my benefactor and mentor." Naruto removed the Pravda Necklace from himself and held it up toward Sasuke. The entire necklace was gold and a large ruby was centered in the middle. "Meet King Laharl. son of Kritchevskoy, and universally recognized as the most powerful demon in quite a few realities. He is the reason for my success, and for my current level of ability."
Sasuke reassessed the amulet his teammate always wore. He had chalked it up to some form of vanity on the part of Naruto, but it turned out that he was wearing one of the most powerful beings in existence around his neck? "Isn't that dangerous? That much power would surely kill you."
Naruto snorted and replied, "Feh, I don't have access to any of his power. The necklace is magical anyway so it has some benefits. All of his physical and spiritual might was destroyed by this accursed coffin. All that remains of the great King Laharl is an imprint of his soul and of his mind." He clutched the gold amulet tighter. "His existence is an unstable one at best. I seek to stabilize him as soon as possible."
"So this became a door how?"
"Well, I reverse engineered it." The blond said with a grin as he put his Advisor back around his neck, "It still had so much leftover energy because Laharl had so much power that it was very simple to 'rewire' it and stabilize it as a Warp Portal."
Yeah, after I told you how to do it.
"Anyway, if you would like, you can jump right in and we can get started."
"THESE ARE YOUR OTHER SERVANTS?!"
"Yeah, so what?" Naruto asked, absolutely nonplussed. To his eye the Prinny team was a cheap and effective source of labor. It was essentially slavery, but the Prinny's were here to serve for the sins they committed while alive! Who was Naruto to interfere with justice?
"They're pathetic! Look at them, they're lounging around! That one's eating pizza?!" Sasuke was enraged, somehow. Sure the Prinnys weren't that intimidating but they had done everything he asked of them and they deserved a little bit of a break.
"Don't worry they can hold their own. Plus they did a great job in here!" He gestured around the stone chamber. This was the "main room" (only room) of the keep and the Prinnys had patched the place up quite nicely. The holes in the ceiling were gone, there were now several doors separating this room from the others, and there was even some furniture placed around. "Keeseling!"
"Aye aye, dood?" Much to Sasuke's horror, the one eating pizza looked up and did a lazy little salute.
"Nice job in here! Next month I think we might be able to afford a decent wooden floor! Hmm... Or maybe a rug."
Sasuke's vision of Naruto as a powerful demon was all but dashed to the ground. What had he done to himself? Was Naruto's idea of an upgrade actually just turning him into a damn Penguin? "Naruto! This was not what I had in mind. I thought you employed demons!"
"Eh, technically they're a form of demon. Plus I never said I had other vassals! You are my first vassal, remember? These guys, are the only vassals Laharl managed to retain, I took over the reins so to speak." Naruto said as he walked over and grabbed a slice of pizza from Keeseling's box. "Wow Keeseling, Gehenna Sardines? That's pricy, watch our budget, alright?"
"Of course, Naruto! But, remember we found that Legendary Muscle Ace, in a cupboard over there? Good money from that one, dood." Keeseling said as he raised a purple flipper towards said cupboard. "Some idiot must have left it behind. Also, who's the bitch?"
Naruto snorted and said, "Oh, this is Sasuke, he works for us now."
"I'm a bitch?! AT LEAST I'M NOT A PENGUIN!" Sasuke shouted, enraged both by the Prinny's remark and by Naruto's flippant attitude.
Keeseling ripped the green beanie off his head and threw it to the ground. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" The three other Prinnys were also enraged by the 'P' Word and stood from their various positions.
"Settle down guys, Sasuke, come have pizza!" Naruto said as he munched away at his slice. He was ignored.
"You wanna go, Penguin?!"
"Ever tasted a Prinny's foot before?!"
"Ever tasted a kunai?" Sasuke ground out as he pulled out the very same kunai that Naruto had let him keep. Apparently it was a Lvl10 Kunai, whatever that meant.
"You wanna taste my blades?"
"Woah woah woah, Sasuke. Keeseling's out of your league." Naruto said from his spot on the ground. He was still ignored.
"What blades? You stupid, stuffed, penguin-looking, wannabe, FAT!, demon!" He poked Keeseling in his stomach as he shouted each insult an inch from the Prinny's beak.
"OH! YOU'RE DEAD NOW, PRETTY BOY!"
Naruto finally decided to get involved and ran between the two. "Listen, if you guys are gonna fight – We're gonna do this right. Sasuke I'm going to give you an option." He turned to one of the other Prinnys and said, "Jobin, go get the Demon Water."
Keeseling sighed and reached into the pouch that all Prinny's wore and pulled out his twin blades, jagged and worn from years of combat. "Of course you gotta make it tougher on my old self."
"Not necessarily, Keeseling." He waited until Jobin came waddling back holding a small vial of clear liquid. "This is Demon Water, Sasuke. Once you drink it you will feel the benefits of being my Vassal. Essentially you'll become stronger based on my level of ability because you will borrow a part of my Mana. It's actually more of an investment on my part because eventually I'll also receive strength from you."
"What of it?"
"You can either drink this before, or after, you battle Keeseling."
Sasuke contemplated the clear vial and then the Prinny who was holding his blades out before him. The Uchiha snorted and said, "Give me the Water."
Naruto grinned and said,"Too bad, I was looking forward to watching you get made a fool of. You still will of course, but it won't be as embarrassing."
"Whatever, whatever, just hand it over." After a moment of silent contemplation, Sasuke upended the slightly glowing liquid into his mouth - PAIN! SHEER EXCRUCIATING PAIN! - It burned its way down his tongue and past his throat where it settled in a pool of molten lava in the bottom of his stomach. He fell to the ground, hard, on his knees, hands clutching at his own body. The fire, the flames, heat, magma, burning, seared its way all through every fiber and nerve in his body and for a moment steam was pouring out of his back. Invisible fire shot down to his toes and then collected in his stomach and then out to his hands and back. It rode his spine upwards into his brain and he could swear he was boiling alive inside his own body and then the FIRE inside of him ceased, if only for a moment. He slumped over sweating and retching until once more the fire burnt away at him, at his eyes! His eyes began to fuse hydrogen atoms into helium and burnt away at him like the sun flaring its rays and he tried in vain to smother the nonexistent fire with his hands.
Naruto watched, mouth agape.
I forgot to mention that it really hurts if you already have a chakra system.
"That would have been nice to know before I gave it to my vassal, Laharl. I think it broke him." Naruto said as he nudged Sasuke with his foot. At least he had stopped screaming and writhing in pain.
Phil, his most useless Prinny, watched with mild disinterest and asked, "Is he dead, dood?"
"No, I don't think so." Naruto said, a little nervous. That was not pleasant to watch, the Uchiha must have been in some very serious agony to put on a display like that. He was feeling, guilty? If only he could have warned Sasuke first, maybe he would have been better prepared for the pain. "You alright, man?" Naruto asked his downed vassal as he got on a knee and placed his hand tentatively on the boy's shoulder.
"I fucking... I fucking hate you, Naruto." Sasuke ground out through gritted teeth even as he continued to try and regain his breath. He tried to keep in mind that the pain was over now and that it was all worth it for revenge, but that had been sheer torture.
Naruto laughed and clapped him on the shoulder a bit and stood up, "Good! Focus on that hate, roll it up into a ball, and go beat the shit out of Keeseling!"
"You are the worst person." Sasuke said as he groaned and panted from the ground.
Keeseling looked on with a wry smirk on his face, "Did it hurt too bad, pretty boy? Com'ere, see if I cant make it hurt worse. Don't tell me you don't wanna fight anymore?!"
Sasuke grunted and rose to his feet, swaying. In his anger he began to radiate energy, Demonic energy.
"Wooh, not too bad Sasuke! Lvl 11 right off the bat!" Naruto clicked away at a small device on his face. It was attached to his right ear and a little green window extended over his eye.
"What the hell is that?" The winded boy asked.
"A Scouter! You just turn the setting from Saiyan to Demon."
"I have no idea what that means."
"Good!"
Keeseling decided enough was enough and charged at Sasuke, knives a'blazing. "Die! Pretty boy!"
Sasuke wheeled around just in time to see the onslaught and jumped backwards a few feet. Just as he landed a knife went soaring past him, thrown by the Prinny in anger. Sasuke was amazed as before he could blink Keeseling was already following after his blade and backhanded Sasuke with his flipper. Sasuke was sent flying into a wall, creating a hole.
"MY FORTRESS!" Naruto shouted in dismay.
Sasuke was sprawled on his back and got his first view of the Netherworld, black sky, red earth, flowing magma, shriveled little black trees. "Demons... What the hell..." Sasuke muttered under his breath, just as Keeseling attempted to slam his knives into the ground, through Sasuke's stomach of course.
The Uchiha rolled away and pulled out his +10 Kunai. He slashed angrily at the Prinny who took the hit in the chest. There was a small wound but Keeseling advanced steadily and toppled Sasuke with a solid body slam. Sasuke swiped his leg along the dirt and took out the demon's flippers. He stumbled backwards, towards one of the rivers of magma that lined the landscape, and Sasuke pressed his advantage – dashing forward to perform a jumping kick that landed firmly in Keeseling stomach.
Keeseling was not hurt and grabbed him by the foot and swung him around towards the lava. Sasuke fell for just a few seconds and began to feel the heat rising off the lava but caught himself on a sharp rock that jut out of the wall. He winced as his palm began to bleed, but he pulled himself up and over the rock and launched himself away from the molten earth.
The Prinny was caught off-guard and received a punch in the beak, and then a stab in the shoulder and a kick in the throat. He fell to the ground. Sasuke stood over him, triumphant. "How'd you like that, Penguin?"
Keeseling was on his feet instantly and delivered a mighty headbutt right to Sasuke's face. The Uchiha crumbled under the attack and fell backwards, once more, toward the lava. He was convinced, it was the end for him. He would die, here in some bizarro world, killed by a fat penguin. What a way to go...
"Jeez, Keeseling, ya coulda taken it a little easy on him."
"He called me fat! And the P-word! AGAIN!"
Sasuke opened an eye to see Naruto holding him from slipping over the edge by a single finger hooked in the collar of his shirt. "You alright, Minion?"
After the battle, Naruto took a long time explaining exactly how being a demon worked. Basically there was a popular system that made it simple to determine a demon's current level of ability. These numbers were referred to as Levels. Naruto joked that the Scouter was a gag and that any demon can find the Level of another if only they learn the technique.
"So whats the point of all this?"
Naruto looked over at Keeseling, who looked over to Samhain, the last of Naruto's Prinny crew. "Well, it's best to assess your enemies before combat. If you see Lvls too high, you don't stick around."
"What's too high?" Sasuke asked.
"Awfully curious aren't you? So many questions, dood." The Prinny said with a sigh and continued, "Well, I'm around Lvl 65. Keeselings a solid 40. Jobin is pushing 60 by now, even though he's an idiot. And Phil is 25, maybe." Samhain smirked and turned to Naruto, "Your 'Master' is only around lvl 30, but he does good with what he's got. That sword of his and that necklace really help him out."
"You're just jealous because Laharl wouldn't let you use Leivateinn."
"Yeah, whatever."
That blade isn't even that great, it was the only thing I managed to get smuggled out of my old warehouse by Samhain, Naruto. Well, and the other stuff you know about.
"But I thought it was your Sword?!" Naruto said completely disrupting the conversation.
Well sure it was my sword, but not my Sword! You think that piece of trash deserves an Upper case?! I was using that thing back before I was the Overlord. You think that traitor hasn't been using Yoshitsuna?
"Sorry I asked. Just don't mislead me like that."
What a baby. I didn't raise you to be a loser.
"Shut up."
Sasuke was twitching by this point and demanded, "What the hell are you going on about, Naruto?!"
"What, is what the hell your catchprase or something? I like it, it's clever. We are basically in Hell ya know."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
Samhain butted in, "Don't mind him if he stops making sense, he's just talking to his father."
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" Naruto jumped towards the yellow prinny.
FATHER?! Tell Samhain that if he ever uses that word again I will make sure that he never reincarnates and I'll put his head on a pike and then I'll feed him rotten milk, make him listen to nails on a chalk board and -
Nartuto tuned his 'father' out and focused back on Sasuke, "Sorry about that, anyway Sasuke, we'd want to fight demons around level 40-50 because some of us can't handle much higher. I'm plenty good at attacking, but a few good hits from a Level 60 or more, and even I'm a goner." The raven-haired teenager nodded at that, his guess seemed accurate. "This is further complicated because these guys," He gestured to the Prinny squad, "Are essentially the weakest kind of demon you can get... Samhain would even have difficulty against a reasonably powered Lvl 60 Demon. Isn't that right?"
"Essentially, but I'm a Prinny General, certainly better than these other numb-skulls."
Seeing Sasuke's puzzled look, Naruto decided to elaborate, "Demons of a certain species can be of differing quality. Samhain is towards the top end, as far as Prinnys go. Jobin and Keeseling are a bit below him, Captain Prinnys. And Phil – Phil what are you doing?"
The dark blue Prinny was squatting by the newly made hole in the wall and seemed to be digging his flippers into the dirt. "Filling in this hole, dood! What's it look like?"
"Oh, alright... Well, that makes sense, Phil is somewhat useless in combat. He is a Private Prinny, after all. Manual labor is best for him." Naruto said even as the spoken of Prinny sobbed a bit and continued his work. Sasuke felt something similar to pity for the pathetic being.
"That's right, dood. You'd be better off fighting Phil if you want to train, kid." Keeseling said with a malicious glee. He just loved taking the piss out of people. "The rest of us would probably just hurt a Lvl 11 like you."
Sasuke fumed at the insult and nearly launched himself at the cocky Prinny. "Don't mind him, he's an asshole." Naruto said amicably as he put an arm out to stay his vassal. "Keeseling, chill out. Stop being an ass, and go help out Phil over there." He jerked a thumb over at the Private Prinny.
"Yeah, I should have figured, dood." Keeseling said as he waddled away from the group.
Jobin turned to Samhain, "Why's Keese mean to the new guy?"
"Because he has a chip on his shoulder." The eldest prinny responded easily. Jobin wandered off after his fellow Capt. Prinny looking for potato chips on the demon's slender shoulders.
Sasuke watched warily, "THAT's the second strongest demon you have?"
Naruto exchanged a knowing look with Samhain and then answered, "Don't underestimate Jobin, he's quite... Adept at combat."
"Downright terrifying if you ask me. You see how stupid and happy he is right now?" Sasuke could indeed see that the Prinny was stupid as Keeseling got him to work with Phil in his stead. Keeseling went off to read Pus! Weekly magazine and Jobin happily dug into the dirt at Phil's instruction. "As soon as a fight starts, it's like a switch. Like a flipping fucking switch."
"Seriously, don't EVER fight Jobin. EVER." Naruto stressed to his new vassal.
"Alright, I get it." Sasuke said as he looked around the stone keep once more. "So now that I've drank the demon water, what do we do now?"
Samhain snorted, "Whaddya think? We go out and kill something. We are demons after all."
Omake:
"Hey, Keeseling, Samhain said there was a chip on your shoulder?" Jobin asked as he waddled over to the Prinny who's flippers were caked in dirt.
Keeseling turned over to his dumb comrade and said, "What are you on about? I don't have any chips."
Jobin insisted, "Samhain said there was a chip on your SHOULDER, where is it?"
"Ahhh... I think it was an expression, it means I'm arrogant or something." Keeseling said carefully.
The other purple Prinny was not convinced, "Where is the chip. You know I love Evilitos!"
"You ate the last bag last week!" Keeseling pleaded with his fellow prinny, "Just don't turn into the mean-guy ok?!"
"WHY NOT? You know the mean-guy always gets what he wants. Now give me what I want or I might have to become..." Fire seemed to shine in Jobin's eyes and he took a small waddle forward, "A little MEAN."
"OH, MEPHISTO! JUST NOT IN THE FACE!"
*A series of thuds. The sound of bones cracking. A small whine, MORE THUDS! "Oww!" "SHUT UP!" Sobbing and a bit of a gargling choking noise.*
"Jobin, snacktime!" Samhain said hurriedly as he waved a bag of chips in the air. Phil who had edged away as soon as the 'switch' was flipped, cowered behind Naruto watching in fear.
"That is NOT normal." Sasuke whispered and tried to be as still as possible.
Naruto answered stiffly with a false smile on his face, "Its not. We all think he was a serial killer during his life." Jobin had just skipped over, waving his bloody flippers at his sides, and began to noisily consume the Evilitos - apparently unconcerned by the blood that had seeped into them from his flippers.
Samhain leaned towards Phil and said, "Go get more chips!"
"But, Keeseling is hurt! I'm the one with the Cure spell!"
"I don't care! It's too late for him, we all still have to make it out alive!"
"But-"
"LOOK at that!" the eldest prinny growled.
Jobin was licking the Cheesy goodness, and blood, off of the tip of his flipper.
"OH GOD!" Phil was out the door in a second.
AN: Welcome to Naruto's Hour of Darkness. My first attempt at a crossover fic, and a NarutoxDisgaea one at that! Hopefully you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Know that eventually Naruto and his vassals will be fighting against the likes of Baal and won't always stay as weak as they are now. I won't be blending too much of the video game mechanics into the story, so don't expect to see Stats or Experience points or anything like that. As a note to anyone who may be concerned that Naruto and Co. will become overpowered, they wont. I've worked out a handy Demon Lvl to Shinobi Rank chart.
Academy Student/Normal Human: Lvl 1~10
Genin: Lvl 10~50
Chunin: Lvl 50~125
Jounin: Lvl 125~250
Anbu: Lvl 250~300
Kage/S-Rank Nin: Lvl 300+
So as it stands, Naruto has two servants of roughly Chunin Rank and the rest, including him and Sasuke are basically stuck at Genin for a while. Also, despite Leivateinn being a pretty high lvl sword in Disgaea, the importance of Stats is majorly downgraded in this story. Things work differently here than in Disgaea so even though Leivateinn would make things easy early in the game, Naruto will still just be a Genin with a fancy sword. Items like Demon emblems and other enchanted items may give other benefits, but a sword is just a sword.
One more thing, eventually Naruto's enemies from the Elemental Nations will be receiving an Upgrade as well. Don't want to get too specific, but you shouldnt worry that they'll only be fighting demons. The Enemies will be from both worlds.
I don't know whether to continue this or work on something else, so review if you like what you've read! Also I'm open to suggestions regarding future vassals as well as possible pairings! I don't do yaoi.