This is What I Lived For
There will always be something in life, that will make you say like "Oh, this is what I live for"
that is what my mother always say to me.
I am Kagamine Len. A son to my mother and a robot to my father. I like bananas and music, sometimes I like to dance. I hate being a robot or doll to my father. Funny things is I always thought I was alone ever since my mother died in a car crash. I always thought, 'I'm the only kid who won't have friend just because I'm the son of a branch music company.
I came down from the stair wearing a black tux just like my father ask me to. Not smiling or showing any expression, my eyes was as dull as a doll. I should've get ready to visit my mother grave two days after tomorrow but father command me to get change. I jump in my car, thinking what is it for today.
I never though that we would go to the main music company. In front of me stand a girl, just like a reflection of me. With blond hair and blue dull eyes a little bit lighter. Holding a brown teddy bear and an orange.
"This is my precious only daughter, Kagami Rin" the girl father, said. "And from now on, Kagamine Len. Please take good care of my daughter, because you're going to become her bodyguard"
My inside was breaking, but my outside stood still. I bowed down gracefully to show the respect my father wants. From that moment I started following Lady Rin around from the time she woke up till she was safe asleep.
"Good morning, Lady Rin" I open the curtain and bowed down. Lady Rin open her bored dull eyes that still not change. She gave the gesture to get closer so I stand beside her.
"You can stop" That three words from her red lips froze me. When she said stop, stop what?
"You can stop the act you gave in front of me really. I'm getting bored to see the dull color in your eyes" Lady Rin said. I still stand froze. Lady Rin stand up and search for her slipper cause the floor is cold. "I want to know the real one who will protect me, I want to really know him. His weakness and greatness. So I can help if he's weak at something"
Those words, that lines that came out of her mouth, I swore I will never forget it. Since then, I saw myself at Lady Rin's mirror I noticed that my dull eyes was no more, instead it was a pair of eyes filled with happiness and curiosity. When I found Lady Rin's slippers and put it on her I whispered, "Thank you"
The time I realized I have feelings for Lady Rin was after I whispered 'thank you'. She hold my chin and slowly move it to her eyes level and I saw the once dull eyes, started to show blue sky orb inside. She released herself and say, "You are welcome"
But even when I know my feelings, I ignored it. I don't know the real her. What can she do? What is she afraid of? And others. It's hard to find out if it's rare to see her let out the blue sky eyes that I fell in love to.
One time, I was late to pick her up from school about 30 minutes. I knew she was going to yell at me, or maybe even fire me. But, I thought wrong.
"Len, I'm here. You're late" she asked curiously. I stared at her, confused why she isn't mad at me. "I was just about to call you" she said holding her phone.
"I'm sorry Lady. But, aren't you going to be mad at me because I was late picking you up?"
"Why would I be mad at someone who help a blind grandmother crossed the street and find the parent of a lost child? I know you Len. I told you since the first morning, right? I want to know your weakness and greatness. To tell the truth, it's okay for you to be late picking me up if you're helping people, but sometimes tell me first, don't get me worried" She warned as we walked into the car. The more she talked about me, the more I'm starting to regret ignoring this feelings for her. Because it just grew more and more.
"Lady Rin... I'm really sorry for picking you up late" I bow down to her.
"Tell you what, if you really want a punishment. Your punishment is to call me by my name if we're alone" she said and I can't have any other great punishment.
"Rin, where are we going now?" I said as I hold 2 bags at my left hand and 2 bags at my right hand with Rin leading in front of me. We are going to the mall, and Rin is buying everything she like. This is when I thought she is greedy. Again, I THOUGHT.
"To the next shop"
"Why are we doing this anyway?"
"Len did you forgot? It's near christmas. I got present for Dad, Mom, Rinto and Rinto's girlfriend Lenka. Grandmother, Grandfather, Aunt and Uncle. I need to find something for the orphanage girls they I always visit and maybe even some cupcakes to the butler and maid" I was proved wrong yet again. I smile as I know that Rin is starting to stop giving me dull eyes and giving more of the blue sky eyes that I fell more and more into. I also noticed that she only gave the dull eyes for people she doesn't know so that they would stay away.
We walk and shop about an hour more till she said, "Len, you could go to the car first"
"Rin?"
"I want to buy you a christmas present, but if you know it won't be a christmas present" Maybe I should also use my extra money to buy the necklace Rin was staring at the jewelry shop back then.
"Rin, can I buy something first before I go to the car"
"Promise you won't follow me?"
"Promise"
We wish you a merry chirstmas
We wish you a merry chirstmas
We wish you a merry chirstmas
and a happy new year
The song played again and again. Rin was on the piano, playing and singing. I was behind Rin watching every single movement she do. Her brother, Rinto, was dancing with his girlfriend Lenka just like Rin's father and mother also Rin's grandmother and grandfather also Rin's aunt and uncle. Everyone was dancing circling around the playing Rin.
"Let's open the present!" Rin's father shouted. I smiled beside Rin. I was glad knowing Rin's family is unlike mine. My family rarely celebrate crhistmas since Mom died. I was lonely. Even my birthday was not celebrated. Rin smiled at me and give a small box to me.
"I thought that you wouldn't like it if I bought you something expensive and I wouldn't want to give you something poor. So maybe you would like this" Rin said. When she gave me the box I gave my present at return, and she smiled so beautiful. I hurriedly open the box since it's the first present Rin gave to me. When I open it, I found a necklace, similar to the one I bought for Rin.
"Hey, we thought the same thing!" Rin shouted. I giggled a bit and help her to wear the necklace I gave her.
"I'll hold this. I'll only open it if I'm angry at you" Rin laughed. I put on the my necklace. We have the matching necklace, a piano symbol.
"Len, what will you give me for my birthday?" Rin look up to the orange sky. I smile, tomorrow is Rin's birthday. I patted her head
"If I tell you, it won't be a surprise, now will it?" I smirk. Rin pouted. It's a fun thing knowing you can have such a relaxing time with the one you love. Rin hugged me from behind when no other students in school was watching.
"I'll look forward to it"
"Good morning, Rin. Happy birthday to you" I said as I open the curtain in her room. Rin rub her dousy eyes. I brushes her hair.
"So, what is my birthday present" Rin asked. When I finished brushing her beautiful hair. I put on a white ribbon and four hair clips. She touch the present and look at the mirror. "This?... is very cute!" Rin grabbed me and gave me a kiss at the cheek, which I always get everytime Rin is very happy.
"Len, do you think I look like a bunny with this on?" Rin pouted. Her ribbon was swaying like her body, gracefully.
"You're too cute. I'm strating to regret buying you that cause I'm sure everyone will be staring at you" I mutter to myself, to Rin I laugh and say, "Yes, a white bunny. Very very cute"
"Daddy, where are you going with Mommy?" little Yuki asked me. Tell me again how we ended up playing house? It's very weird, one second Yuki, Rin's little cousin, want to play, another second later Rin become the mommy, Yuki the child and I am the daddy.
"We are going to buy some food for you sweetheart. Wait at home and be a good girl, ok?" Rin act. I wonder, if I will ever attend a reality where I can see Rin everyday with our daughter or son in her lap or mine. It will be a fine reality indeed.
"Len, my marriage have been set. Today I'm going to meet the groom" Rin said as she sip her tea. The plate I was holding fall to the ground and break. It's a good thing rin was far from where I drop it, I don't want her to get hurt.
"Are you okay?" asked a worried Rin. I fake a smile to hide my sadness and pick up the broken plate pieces. Maybe it's my imagination maybe it's not, but I saw Rin gave a hurt expression, and I don't like it one bit. I hope her have a good life with that boy. "Hurry up and get dressed. You are going with me" Rin said. My heart started to break a little.
"Who is your groom, Rin?"
"Someone name Kamui Gakupo"
I should fight for my love, right mother?
Rin go into the room where she will meet Gakupo. I'm not allowed to go in because I'm only a bodyguard. It's been 5 minutes in there and I'm guessing that they're eating. The thunder roar suddenly. I reflexly open the door and grabbed Rin's hand. Rin's eyes was forming tears and no one noticed. Her father even shudder when he saw Rin starting to cry.
"Len!" Rin cried to my chest right when another thunder roar. I silently brush her hair. When she started to calm down I let her go and confront her father.
"Please stop this meeting. I have done some research. Kamui Gakupo, 20. Silently, without his father knowing, borrowing money from dangerous people. Getting to forbidden bar and transferring forbidden drugs illegally" I said as I hand out pictures and papers from my hand. Rin's father stop crying and examine the pictures and the papers.
"Sorry, but I think this marriage ends here. Come, Rin. Len it's not polite to barge in like that"
"I'm sorry. But, my job is to protect Lady Rin. Mentally or physically. Rin is scared of thunders, so when it rains my body unconsciously start moving to find Rin" I deeply apologize to Rin's father. Rin clung onto me like the usual thing she would do.
"You know Len, I've been always wanting to ask you. How do you always come up everywhere I need you?" The answer Rin is very simple. Since I love you, I somehow get this instinct what will you do, where you will be, when do you need me. But, the marriage is very unexpected so I wake up all night just to find this guy flaws.
"I don't know" I lied. Rin eyed me.
"You're lying" I laughed hard. I forgot she can tell if I'm lying or not.
"Ok, It's because I love you. I watch over you. I feel over protective if you got closer to other boys. I'm jealous if you receive something from other boys. I'm mad if someone was trying to kidnap you. I'm sad if I can't be there when thunder roars. Yeah, I really really trully love you" I blurted out. I blurt out... WHAT THE HECK HAVE I JUST SAID!
The room was silent by my confession. Inside the room was the groom and her father still. Rin was trying to look at my eyes, but I avarted from it.
"Then, Len. I really like the way you took care of my daughter. If you could give a few improvement in your job and the branch shop at your country. I'll surely support you both" Rin's father pat my back, I saw Rin's mother smiling behind Rin's father. Rin's brother, Rinto and his girlfriend was laughing at us for being so oblivious.
"I can't tell..." Rin muttered. I take a look at her eyes which was starting to cry. "I can't tell if you're lying or not"
I hug Rin with all I might giving her my warmth. "The words I just say, I'll say it over and over again till you can tell that I'm never lying about this feeling to you.
"Happy wedding, sister and... well, brother!" Rinto shouted to me and my wife, Rin. I was carrying her bride style. The wedding day was today. Starting today, I'm going as the vice president after Rinto. I got my beautiful wife beside my anyway.
The once cold eyes that look into each other, don't forget it, that's how we first met.
The now shining happiness eyes, will never be forgotten, that's how we are now one.
Dear Late Mom,
This is what I live for
-Your Son