In This Together - Chapter 1.
After Yuna's kidnapping by the Al Bhed.
Blitzball Stadium, Luca.
"You really gave it your all tonight, didn't you?"
Just seconds before Lulu said this, Wakka had lost his footing. He had collapsed into her arms from exhaustion, his chest heaving as he tried to regulate his breathing, embarrassed at showing so much physical weakness.
"Lu, I - ," he tried to raise his head, his hands fumbling nervously in a vain attempt to steady himself, but Lulu's arms around his upper body squeezed harder.
"It's okay," she reassured, feeling the captain of the Besaid Aurochs reluctantly calm in her arms. Lulu wasn't particularly physically strong, but she wasn't weak, so for a moment she held him up, allowing him to breathe and slowly recover his strength.
Wakka didn't lean his whole body against her for long, and soon his hands shifted to hold her, to make it a little easier.
It was the first time that they had truly held each other. Of course Wakka had comforted Lulu when Chappu had died, but they had never been physically close. Even in childhood, prior to any romances, the two never hugged or held hands, even as friends.
So now Wakka savoured the feel of her body, his hands resting against the gentle curve of her waist. He rested his head against hers and closed his eyes, sighing as he felt his aching body relaxed a little.
There weren't any obvious wounds, but those damn Al Bhed Psyches had certainly done a number on him. He'd be lucky not to have a collapsed lung…
But now he couldn't even think of that. He didn't even think that merely thirty minutes before, they were in panic because of Yuna's kidnapping. Wakka felt guilty, but he couldn't think of anything but those warm hands now soothing at his shoulders and back. He couldn't even think of the most important match in the history of the Besaid Aurochs, about the final they were going to enter against those damn Luca Goers.
His fingers twitched as he stretched out the long digits and moved them up Lulu's waist, bringing her even closer. Wakka felt her sigh against his body and he smiled, pressing his head against hers.
Wakka could see why Chappu had fallen in love with her…
"We're gonna go out and win, guys, come on! We're in the final!"
Noisy footsteps and boisterous voices from outside of the locker room caused them to pull apart from one another, but not too quickly. Wakka still held onto Lulu's waist as the door opened, making Keepa and Datto raise their eyebrows suspiciously before the excitement of being in the final quickly took over any desire to question their captain's rather intimate embrace with the mage.
They were in the final, after all!
After defeating Seymour Natus.
Macalania Woods.
Lulu watched as Rikku waved goodnight to her, and slid into the tent that she shared with Yuna. The young Al Bhed had been the last of their party to stay awake and keep her company, but even she was too tired now.
The last week had been so frustrating, so tiring. It was such a relief to have Yuna back safely after the dangers that they were put through at the hands of the maesters, and of course everything that happened with Seymour. The young summoner was exhausted, both mentally and physically, and all Yuna had wanted was a place to rest for the night. Just to have an evening of peace and quiet.
The rest of the party were drained, too, so they all appreciated the opportunity to rejuvenate.
Tidus and Wakka had been the first to follow Yuna and call it a day, and Kimahri followed soon after. The Ronso was the one unfortunate enough to have to share a tent with the ever miserable Auron, who insisted that they had to be up at the crack of dawn.
Rikku had been the last one to go, and now Lulu was sitting alone with nothing but a faded campfire and her thoughts to keep her company.
The pretty mage sighed and looked up at the sparkling sky.
The night was beautiful and it felt good to relax, even if it was just for eight or so hours. All she wanted was five minutes of tranquillity, to clear her head.
Lulu's thoughts were overwhelming though, and despite the stress and chaos of recent events, all she could think of was Wakka.
He had been so stressed recently, finding it difficult to be loyal to both Yevon and to Yuna. Revelations of Rikku being an Al Bhed, and then of course the betrayal of the masters… Wakka had found it so difficult to cope, and still try support the rest of the party. He wanted to be strong, Lulu could tell, but his loyalties to his friends were at war with his beliefs.
It was hard for him, poor Wakka.
Lulu wondered if Chappu would have struggled like that, had he been in his older brother's situation.
Lulu had always compared Wakka to his brother.
Wakka had never been as intelligent as Chappu, as thoughtful or even as good at Blitzball. She had been criticised of her cold behaviour towards her late lover's brother sometimes, but Lulu didn't see her condemnation as being particularly unfair. She was just stating the facts, she thought. Wakka just wasn't like Chappu at all.
Apart from both of the brothers having always been kind, their personalities were distinctively different. Wakka was more emotional, Lulu had come to learn, and more irrational.
Even in looks they differed greatly. Chappu had been closer to her own height, and despite being just as sporty as his older brother, he certainly wasn't as athletically built. Wakka towered over her by at least a head, and his broad shoulders and well defined muscles were something that she originally disliked.
He was too different from Chappu.
Only their hair was the same. Their facial structures had very few similarities, with Wakka's face being a little wider than Chappu's. Their eyes were exactly the same colour, though. A powdery, pale blue, that looked beautiful against tanned skin.
Lulu had spent so much time thinking of the differences between Chappu and Wakka, she found herself startled when she began thinking of the resemblances. She already knew their physical similarities, and they were limited. Those same eyes, and the same smile, the same friendly expression… she knew those illustrations well, she had studied them often in Chappu, and they were hard to miss in Wakka's face too.
But what of the other things…. What of the mental, the personal likeness?
Was Wakka also reluctant to talk about his feelings? Was he scared of cats, too? Was he attracted to her, as her brother had been?
Lulu sighed, a pale hand moving to play with her braids. Half of her hated herself for these betraying trains of thought, and the other half was growing almost giddy with thoughts of Wakka now.
Would he touch her like Chappu did? Or kiss her like that? And how would he make love to her?
Lulu rose suddenly, brushing at her skirt as she began to walk away from the camp. She tried to stay as quiet as possible and lifted the heavy leathers of her clothes as she walked, making sure that they wouldn't noisily brush against the sand. Her dark eyes shifted towards Wakka's make-shift tent, her over-active imagination envisioning the man that rested inside.
Lulu visualised her fellow guardian's body, half wrapped in a sheet, tanned and muscular and tense. She already knew that Wakka's bright red hair would be loose around his eyes, since he never wore his headband when he slept.
The mage had seen him sleep before, and he always looked exquisite. His full lips would always be parted slightly, and his eyes were shut tight. Wakka looked very peaceful when he slept, and Lulu liked to see him like that because he was rarely so worry-free, so serene. He would spread himself around too, like a child, with arms draped everywhere and those muscular legs spread out and always taking up so much room.
For a moment, Lulu felt very envious of Tidus, lying there beside Wakka and completely unaware of the stunning body of such a gorgeous man lying beside him. Lulu wouldn't have let Wakka sleep, that was for sure…
The mage sighed, and began to walk away from camp. Lulu needed to take a walk and clear her head, she couldn't imagine trying to sleep now. Her mind was overflowing with indecent thoughts, thoughts about her former lover's brother.
"…yo, Lu." Lulu had heard the sound of cloth rustling behind her but she didn't turn around straight away. She knew that it was Wakka, she didn't need to hear his voice to know that.
"Wakka," she sighed outloud and turned around again to face camp. She let out another sigh and felt her heartbeat quicken even more, she hadn't expected to be greeted with the sight that stood before her now.
Wakka looked sleepy, somewhat distressed. The red fringe of his hairstyle fell over his face, over his strong nose and his pouting lips. All Wakka wore was a pair of loose fitting sleeping shorts, and his well sculptured muscles twitched and tensed under his skin, as if feeling Lulu's gaze on his topless body.
"…where you goin'," Wakka mumbled, his voice sounding throaty and hoarse. "There's fiends everywhere… you shouldn't be goin' anywhere alone."
Lulu watched as Wakka rubbed at his sleepy eyes, and approached her slowly. The corners of her lips twitched in a smile at his concern.
Initially Lulu had disliked Wakka's almost over-protective instinct, but she had come to see the possessiveness as simple care. Wakka was kind. He didn't have ulterior motives, he simply cared about people.
"I'm just going for a walk, Wakka," Lulu said, almost smiling as she spoke his name. Wakka didn't seem satisfied with this reply, wrinkling his nose as he shuffled over closer to her.
"I don't want you goin' alone, Lu. It ain't safe," he yawned and stood on his tiptoes, stretching his long, muscular arms above himself. He seemed to be blissfully unaware of Lulu's eyes on him, watching his flat, muscular stomach tense a little.
"I won't disturb you or nothin'. I just don't want you goin' alone, ya," Wakka repeated, almost shamefully. He seemed to think of himself as a burden to Lulu, and was prepared for her to reject him or get mad at him. He furrowed his red eyebrows and ran a hand through his hair, already attempting to think of more excuses for why Lulu shouldn't be walking around by herself at night.
"It's okay," Lulu spoke quietly, not looking directly at Wakka. "You can come."
The mage let her dress fall to the floor again, no longer concerned about it dragging. She started walking into the darkness, not bothering to wait for Wakka because she knew that he'd be by her side soon enough.
And he was.
Soon, they were walking together slowly and quietly, neither of them sure about what to say.
Lulu hadn't been the only one suffocated with guilty thoughts. Wakka's mind had been filled with improper thoughts of his late brother's lover for a guilty amount of time. Wakka had imagined Lulu within his own arms not even a year after Chappu had passed, and those guilty thoughts filled him with so much shame.
And of course, thinking about his own indecent emotions in a time like this, a time of such tragedy and unhappiness…
"Where we goin'?" Wakka asked, being the first to break the silence. Lulu saw him looking at her from the corner of her eye but she didn't look back at him with her usual, confident stare. She felt her cheeks darken, thankful for the dark sky.
"I want to sit by the water for a while."
Wakka nodded, not questioning her reasons or motives, or why she wasn't resting.
Whilst Wakka had a habit of falling asleep in front of the whole party, Lulu was the exact opposite. Wakka had even began to think that maybe the mage didn't sleep at all, but of course the rational side of him knew that Lulu simply slept less than he did.
The lake wasn't far from where they camped, so the silent walk wasn't too long or too uncomfortable. Wakka kept himself occupied by watching Lulu, his head tilted slightly to the side and a small smile ever-present on his lips. She returned his gaze only when they reached the lake, their eyes locking for a moment too long. Wakka's smirk stretched into a bright grin just as Lulu turned away and walked closer to the water.
He watched her crouch beside the lake, her elegant arm stretched out and her fingertips dipping into the water.
"Come sit with me."
Wakka hesitated for a moment, his toes digging into the cold ground. Lulu didn't turn back to face him, but he hadn't expected anything else from her. He knew her well enough to understand that she wouldn't ask again, so he walked towards her and sat down beside her crouching form not so gracefully.
He sat down with his legs half crossed and half arched, his toes dipping slightly into the cool water. Wakka noticed that Lulu stretched her legs out too and did the same, flinching in surprise when the cold water brushed her toes.
"How are you feeling?" Lulu whispered, her eyes stirring to lock with Wakka's. He looked back at her, his smile fading slightly.
"You seem sad, Wakka."
"Nah, Lu, I ain't sad. This is just tougher than I expected, you know," he spoke almost in a whisper, half afraid of their conversation being over-heard even though he knew that nobody was listening. "I just think that I ain't doin' this whole guardian thing well, you know… I feel like I'm failin' everyone."
Lulu's eyebrows furrowed and she bit her lower lip, tilting her head to the side. Wakka had turned away and was pouting slightly now. It was the first opportunity that he had to talk about anything, and the mage could see that Wakka was finding it difficult to control his emotions.
"I ain't cut out for this, Lu. I ain't supportin' Yuna properly… can't seem to do nothin' right."
Wakka's expressive eyes closed for a moment and he let out a deep sigh, opening them again only when he felt a warm hand on the small of his back.
"Don't say such things, Wakka," Lulu whispered in a soothing tone, her fingers moving over his skin in a comforting motion. It saddened her to see him filled with so much negativity and self doubt. "You're a wonderful guardian. Yuna needs you here. We all need you here. Yuna loves you Wakka, and I," Lulu paused, her hand becoming still on her friends' lower back. And I do too, she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to speak those words just yet. "…and I want you here Wakka. We all need you here. If any of us turned our backs on this now, it just wouldn't be the same. We're in this together, Wakka."
There were so many more things that she wanted to say, but Lulu wasn't capable of finding the words. Not yet.
"Thanks, Lu," Wakka whispered, turning his body 90 degrees in order to look at Lulu. She had slipped her hand from his broad back and moved to cross her hands together, but Wakka reached out to take her fingers first. They looked at one another as their fingers slowly linked together, Lulu's hand almost dwarfed by Wakka's larger one.
"You keep me goin' sometimes, you know that, ya," he whispered, his words making Lulu blush and look away. Their fingers remained linked together though, with Wakka gently rubbing at Lulu's knuckles with his thumb.
It was bold of him, but Wakka moved his free hand to Lulu's face, gently cupping her cheek and encouraging her to turn and face him again.
"Lu," he whispered, running his nail gently over her delicate jaw-line. Lulu watched him as he closed his eyes and slowly moved his mouth to hers.
Their first kiss was so innocent.
Their lips didn't even touch, at first. Lulu could feel the heat radiating from Wakka's mouth against her own, his gentle breaths caressing her lips as she patiently waited for the contact, her own dark eyes eventually flickering shut, too.
Again, Wakka was the first to move.
He moved his head merely centimetre more before their lips finally touched, the kiss inoffensive, almost child-like. Wakka just wanted to savour the moment, etch the feel and taste of her lips into his memory forever. He'd dreamed of kissing her for too long, fantasies present too soon after Chappu's death.
Wakka didn't want anything to interfere with this moment though, so he pushed away guilty thoughts and turned his head so he could selfishly steal another kiss and memorise the texture of her lips from every angle.
Wakka didn't dare kiss her harder or faster though, not yet. Instead he kept his mouth on hers, feeling her breath tickling his lips as she kissed him back. Wakka felt his heart start to beat even faster when Lulu drew back and squeezed his hand as they looked at one another, before she quickly moved her head forward to kiss him again.
There was no animal lust in this kiss. Passion left them both flustered and breathless of course, but the kisses themselves were tender and affectionate, reassuring and loving. It was the reassurance that they both needed at the moment.
Even though Wakka's mind and body insisted that he could carry on kissing her until dawn, the Aurochs captain withdrew, but only slightly.
He smiled, nuzzling affectionately at her nose with his own, his eyes still closed.
Lulu was smiling too, her hand now in Wakka's hair, stroking the short, red locks tenderly.
"Lets go back to camp, Wakka. We have to start moving again in the morning."