Disclaimer: I have never, still do not, and shall never own Gakuen Alice…Ever.

shokolatte and I have decided to co-author a story. The plot is mostly her idea though. She's my hero! (Maybe I'm referencing to a certain…Oh, Hero Jaejoong?) Just kidding, she's my idol. :D I shall be hosting the prologue and chapter 2 on my account, whilst she hosts chapter 1 and the epilogue. Yes, I know that this does not match the true definition of a prologue, but hey, if I tried to prologue-ize this prologue, you probably wouldn't understand anything at all, as in: what the frick is this retard talking about? Psh. –closes window-

Warnings:

Homosexuality and animal x human: There's a reason for the rating… Cough, cough… Uh, koffu…

Lameness and stupidity.

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

So, please enjoy~!

Ruka ran through the Northern forest, tears streaming down his face as he bit his lip roughly in a futile attempt to divert his attention away from the mental pain. The sight and thought of it…how could he! What wrong had they ever done to deserve such cruelty!

Slowing down to a walk, he processed the thoughts through his mind once more. Natsume knew his love for animals, so why? Why had he taken one of the squirrels and burned it to a crisp, listening to its pained shrieks as it died such a slow and painful death?

He took his fist and slammed it into the nearest tree, crying out from the splinters. Pouting, he sat down and began pulling them out with his dainty nails. A resolution suddenly popped into his head. He needed to change the rules. No animal deserved to die. Everybody should be converted to vegetarianism.

Hastily wiping the salty substance gushing out from his eyes, he sprung up and jogged back to the school, hoping to seek the help from someone he knew. On the way there, he bumped into Natsume, who looked like he had something to say. "Ruka, look, I'm sorry about earlier, but it was a rab—"

Brushing past the dark haired boy, he continued on his journey. "—id chipmunk that was trying to bring me down to the dark side…" Of course, Ruka never heard any of that, so he continued to think that Natsume had betrayed him.

Arriving at his destination was his first priority. There was one person that he needed to speak to, for she held the power to help him with the task he had in mind. He couldn't help but let a dark chuckle escape his throat as he passed by the blond in question. Lip twisting upward, he skidded to a halt before walking over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Koizumi…I have something I think we should discuss…"

Luna's face was dumbstruck. How could a bunny boy like this think up such an…ingenious plan? Well, not all blonds were supposed to be ditzy and stupid. Blond pride! Then she pondered a bit, what merit was there for her? "What will I get out of this if I help you?"

"Hm, that's a good question. Well, you'll get unlimited use of your Alice. We all know how sadistic you are, so I guess you get to do whatever you want with those that defy me. Plus, you get freedom!" The male happily announced.

Freedom. Nah, the sadism part was much more important. That struck a chord, and that chord struck home. Her evil smile applied itself to her expression again. "So, when do we begin?"

He joined in. All hail Evil Smiley Day!

"Today."

As a whole load of people with their jerky movements picked up the wood and utensils, Ruka and Luna proceeded to relax on some chairs to the side as umbrellas were spread out above them to block out the blaring sun.

Both blonds were delicately sipping on their pink lemonade, a pinky raised while watching the showcase before them. Bunny boy glanced at soul sucker. "I always knew your Alice would come to use one day."

"Damn it. You're sounding like that principal dude. Pssh." Flip of the hair.

"Oh, can it."

The day dragged on as their mindless slaves continued to build up the foundation of the building. Glee pierced itself into Ruka's mind as he saw his kingdom taking shape. He couldn't wait for the day that his mindscape of utopia would take place. Vegetarianism was such a nice sounding religion.

"Oi, Koizumi, can you make them work any slower?"

"Fag, my Soul Sucking Alice is spread over many people at once. You think I want to die?"

Their only conversation resided in insulting each other. What a shame. Then a sudden bright idea hit Ruka like a missile. It blew him up so high he could almost scream in stupidity. "If I'm going to be at the top, then who'll be by my side?"

Another flip of the hair was here. Luna huffed and said, "Definitely not me. How about your best friend Natsume? Maybe Sakura? Or better yet, go marry one of your animals or something…" She muttered the last part, "Freak of nature."

"Natsume…? He killed one of my animal friends. I know that Sakura-san likes him, so she'll probably side with him and definitely not care about the animals…Oh! The pain!"

"Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Piyo stretched up from a long nap becoming yellow in a sea of green.

Jumbo-eyed, all three blonds stared at each other. You know, Piyo has yellowish fur. The light bulb appeared instantaneously. Aghast, the young lad exclaimed, "By golly, why haven't I thought of that? I love Piyo so much…"

Ruka then took out a small velvet box that he carried around at all times. Who knew when he would walk into his knightess in shining, sparkly clean armor? Running past all of the bushes and trees, he smoothly slid on the ground into a crouched position, putting one hand on his heart while extending the other with the box towards the giant chick. "Oh, Piyo, my beloved. Will you marry me?"

"Tweet!" Piyo took the tiny ring inside of the box and promptly threw it into his mouth, swallowing the tiny circlet. That signified the mutual feelings in this proposal.

The two males happily ran off to a gigantic chapel to host their wedding, as Luna stayed put, concentrating on the construction of the great edifice. "Damned, gay blonds," she muttered under her breath before leaning back and enjoying her under-the-umbrella sun tan. She fell asleep forgetting the fact that she herself was a blond. Ah, the stupidity.

Upon awaking, she found the most shocking scene in front of her. "Shit! What the hell happened to you two?" Luna could not help but look the two up and down in absolute outrage as the obscenities slipped out from her full, pink, luscious lips.

For starters, Piyo had on an extremely large wedding dress, which the girl beneath had no idea about its origins and didn't want to find out either. The dress contained sequins of various sizes. However, the craziest part was that the dress was ripped in such a way that if a human were wearing it, people would avert their gazes from the nudity. But chicks were safe. Thank goodness. God bless you all.

Ruka had blood running from his forehead down to his chin. He panted like no other, but the crazed look in his eyes and the shit-eating grin was enough to tell her that something preposterous just happened at their gay ass wedding.

Before receiving an answer, the old woman incognito as a young girl fainted, falling heavily to the ground with a loud 'thud.'

Without realizing it, three days had gone by. Luna had gone into coma for that period of time, while Ruka and Piyo went on their honeymoon. Upon returning, Ruka looked at the workers with his bloodshot eyes, clasping his hands together, as the flag with his own prettiful face on it was placed at the top. Scanning the surface area, he noticed the beauty of it.

The surroundings were good, too. There was the forest for the animals to go and run free in. Satisfied, he returned his attention to the castle. The foundation was very firm, and lying on top of it was the base of the castle. Painted green, the walls were very natural and definitely not harmful to the environment. The roof was made from the bark of the trees, giving off an earthly scent. Sighing in content, he turned his head to Luna. "Good job. This is more than I expected from someone like you."

"Who do you think I am?" She cocked her head to the side in arrogance. "Some stupid, blond chick?"

Yea. That you are. But of course, he didn't dare to say it out loud for fear that she just may tear down the entire masterpiece. His efforts would have been in waste.

"Great, well, now that we have this castle, what of it? What shall we name it?" Ruka smiled wistfully.

After a few moments of pondering, they came upon a conclusion.

"Kingdom…"

"Come!" The Pyon-ness impatiently finished, throwing his arms into the air.

"Damn, we're good."

"Tweet!"

Author's Notes:

Once chapter 1 is up (which can be found on shokolatte's profile after a while), do remember to go and read it. Remember, chapter 2 will be here again. (: And finally epilogue will be with her.

I apologize to any blonds whom I have offended. It just struck me funny when I realized that a lot of the main characters in this story are all blond. I mean, Ruka, Luna, Piyo, and more to come. I'm just making it clear that by no means did I try to hurt anyone. If I took it too far, please tell me, and I'll see to changing those parts.

For reference of Piyo and Ruka's wedding, please go to my story The Wonders of the World because I'm too lazy to write a new wedding scene. (:

Thank you for your patronage,

chris3169512

Omake V. 0.3:

Natsume stared at the thing at his feet. No, he had done nothing wrong to provoke it, yet there was this…this accursed pile of meat clawing at his uniform shoes. His first response was to kick it and walk away.

Indeed, it was a very shiny, squeakily blinding morning. The sun was flashing off its heat and being as narcissistic as always. Birds were chirping their happy songs, and trees were dancing within the forest. Mr. Bear was doing his morning routines, chopping wood like they were voodoo dolls. Natsume…he was being attacked by some random chipmunk.

Anyways, and so, when white foam started dribbling out of the chipmunk's mouth, he immediately knew it had rabies. The first thing that crossed his mind was, Don't tell me I'm going to need rabies shots after this.

Without warning, the chipmunk's eyes started sparkling. He caught a glimpse of the reflection, and it looked as though the piece of meat thought he was a pile of acorns waiting to be eaten. Oh, dear goodness. It was hallucinating. A gigantic human has suddenly become a pile of acorns. What a feast.

And thus begins…

Natsume vs. Chipmunk

Chipmunk flies at human. Hand rises up. Hand catches chipmunk by squirrel-ish tail. Chipmunk swings around. Chipmunk burns. Chipmunk dies. Hand pwns.

End Natsume vs. Chipmunk. Natsume wins.

But there stood Ruka, mouth agape after witnessing the sight of such cruelty. In tears he ran away, not believing that his best friend could commit such a disastrous felony. His hand was pressed to his forehead, and poor, poor Ruka just couldn't take the shock. Despite the win, Natsume felt like it was his loss. Curse the chipmunks.