Homo Apparatus
It would have been wrong to call what was going on over Ankh-Morpork a freak thunderstorm.
Those storms were orderly and predictable compared to this weather phenomenon.
Given, two things were predictable about it after all:
First: It was worst above the Unseen University.
Second: This guaranteed that someone had already forced Rincewind up the roof to get down metallic parts that were connected to Hex.
At least someone had tried to force him up onto the roof of the HEM-building. But Rincewind, in addition to having started to run the moment Archchancellor Ridcully had merely pronounced the 'Rin-' of his name, had remembered two old sayings: 'Hide in plain sight,' and 'When faced with incompetent javelin throwers, sit at where they are aiming.'
Therefore he was hiding right in Hex' room, hoping dearly that the faculty would not actually have javelins with them. One never knew. Nonetheless, this, to him, appeared to be the safest room. Everyone else was hurrying around the university grounds to make sure none of the buildings would get hit.
After all, the wizard knew what could possibly happen.
To think about it, why did Ponder Stibbons first go to Ridcully to have that one order him, Rincewind, to climb the bloody roof and get the stuff up there down?
The chances he would die up there were unthinkably high.
The chances of something worse happening to him on the roof... higher.
Grumpily, he blocked the door with a chair before sitting down in front of Hex, staring at the machine.
Ponder, with a heavy heart, had turned it off when the storm had started.
Better safe than sorry. Not a wrong thought.
And yet, all of the sudden the quill started quivering and Rincewind heard some whirring noises.
+++The storm is still raging+++
The wizard gulped and stepped back.
+++Rincewind?+++
"...Yes?" It was no use. Hex 'knew' who was in the room, even if that someone made not a single sound.
+++Is it wise to hide in the room with the most metal in the whole university? The one that has 37.9510 direct connections to the outside?+++
Rincewind took a deep breath and told Hex the sayings.
"Knowing my life, this here IS the safest place in the University right now. Maybe...no...likely in the whole universe.
+++Interesting. Yet despite your certainty you are scared+++
"I'm always scared. It's healthy in the long run."
+++What exactly are you scared of?+++
"Look, as I said: I know my life. The moment I'd step out of this room a lightning would hit ...you... what would, what do I know, for some reason transport me into a different dimension where I'd have to throw shiny things around and take part in some race with glowy carriages. Or something along those lines."
Something whirred and thunder crashed outside.
+++Improbable+++
"What?"
"Rincewind! Open the door!" That was Ponder. From outside the room of course. Rincewind winced as, together with the next thunderclap, Stibbons, likely accompanied by a good bunch of students threw himself against the door in an attempt to open it.
+++Probability of events caused by direct lightning strike here:
Nothing happening: 0.0057%
Prof. Rincewind getting thrown into a different dimension: 12.87%
Prof. Rincewind getting turned into a woman: 28.65%
Imminent death of Prof. Rincewind: 0.0021%
Mild Damage to Hex: 27.68%+++
The quill suddenly stopped. At this moment Ponder burst in with some other students and was about to lecture Rincewind about the dangers of Hex' destruction as he, Rincewind, had refused to get onto the roof when his, Ponders, view fell onto the list and the entry Hex was adding now.
+++Death of Hex: 30.79%+++
At first sight this wasn't odd. It was a calculation of probabilities. But then one looking at it noticed the choice of words.
"Death? Hex, why did you choose that word?" Stibbons inquired.
A pause, broken only by the sound of thunder again.
+++I'm scared+++
Ponder sighed. "We removed as many things from outside as we could." He grabbed at his side and held Rincewind by the collar. After all, he still had a bone to pick with the other man. "There are only two things on the roof now and they certainly aren't the highest point."
+++I'm aware+++
"You made the calculations based on the current situation?"
+++Correct. That's why I'm scared+++
With a slight frown Ponder rubbed his temples: "How can you be scared? You're not human, Hex."
The machine went silent, ink dropping from the quill.
"If I wouldn't know better I'd say he's crying..." Skazz, who was either looking at the dripping quill or the door, spoke out what everyone might have been thinking at that sight.
Everyone except for Rincewind, who had his mind set on getting out of the room now, even if the thunderstorm was still raging outside. Though with Ponder's grip still tight on his collar that was a bit hard without undressing.
"First, that's nonsense." Stibbons then said, shaking his head, "And even if... Even if I'd apologise, I could do nothing to calm him...it...None of us could. You can't hug something his...its...size."
As if on cue a lightning bolt struck the top of the HEM-building.
And a second.
And a third.
What followed then was odd to describe. Those that stood in the room witnessed flickering bits of electricity crawl all over Hex, changing colour from electric blue (of course) to a bright octarine and back until both colours spiraled around each other, creeping slowly but steadily over the machine and... blocking the door out with a network of lightning.
Rincewind, Ponder and the others huddled up, all shivering, all trying to stay as far away from the octarine lights as possible. They all waited for the explosion that should happen any moment now, but instead glowing ghostly images of various parts of Hex started floating through the air, the machine itself suddenly starting to hum softly.
"...Dude...", that Skazz brushed the hair out of his face to get a better view on the scene said a lot more about the spectacle than words ever could.
The sound became louder as the shapes flew across the room, passing through the frightened men and finally entering a spiral under the ceiling. A spiral that slowly descended, all while the sounds Hex produced reminded more and more of … breathing and heartbeat? No, that couldn't be.
The octarine electricity had vanished and everyone, except Ponder, had rushed for the door.
"Ponder!" Rincewind, Skazz, Tez and Adrian Turnipseed called out in unison, but Stibbons didn't move. Tez and Adrian jumped forward and grabbed his shoulders:
"Ponder!"
Stibbons turned his head and looked at them. "It's not a full hundred percent. The numbers don't add up. What is the remaining 0.0022% for?"
There was a horrible screech emitting from the center of the spiral and then...all was silent.
After a moment, though, the ants started scurrying through the pipes as if nothing happened. In fact, there was not the slightest sign of damage to the machine.
The men, even Rincewind was still there, would have noticed quickly if their gaze would not have been fixed on what now stood at where second before the shapes had been flying.
Before them, dressed in dusty bronze and brown robes and a pointy hat with a miniature ram-skull attached to the hatband, stood a young man with shaggy, strawberry blond hair and quite pale, slightly glittering skin, chewing his lower lip rather nervously and looking at them with bright, metallic coloured (it was hard to tell if they were silver or gold) eyes.
"Hex creating a body for himself," he croaked, as if getting used to speaking, in answer to Ponder's question.