The Man Behind the Mask
Chapter 1- Awakenings: A Man
Standard Disclaimer Applies
"I was married once… but I killed her"
As time drags on and the man Lavi grows older he finds himself reflecting on what he used to be. Lenalee now 23 sees herself wanting more, and more of what she does not know, and she turns to Lavi, the boy who is now a man, and she wants a man to help her truly feel.
A/N: This is more of a intro to this story because I want to state why I was inspired to write this, and that way you can better see where I am coming from. I got the inspiration to write this story when I was watching one of my favorite shows ,The Secret Life of An American Teenager (I know but whatever), and there was this conversation between Ricky and Adrian where she said something to him about Amy not knowing him like she did, and he replied with something like I don't want her to accept or understand me, I want her to change me! And at that point I was inspired to write something so yeah enjoy and think about how that will incorporate into this story
The battle between the Earl and the Exorcists ended in a sense yes, but the war will never end, it can't. If there is at least one person who grieves for one that they have lost, the Earl will be unstoppable and his large grin will stay and widen. The 5 years that have gone by have been ones that have been marked with the loss of so many that all have loved, one of those including the Bookman.
Lavi did not cry once when he heard of the news, he did not cry in front of his friends, he did not cry to the priest, and he did not cry when alone. It was not the way of the Bookman and at 25 it was all he had. His past childish ways were gone, and made way for the mature, and tedious ways of adulthood, manhood, and the full-fledged bookman duties.
In appearance one could say he changed drastically to match his new ways, his height sky rocketed, his once big round green eye sharpened, his once borderline skinny body was bulkier and more muscular yet still slim, his hands grew bigger enough to grasp a head and squeeze it till it burst like he did on one violent occasion, and his once short hair grew to fall below his shoulders and flow down his back which he constantly pulled back into a loose ponytail at the nape of his neck, and the once ever present grin was gone. Lavi was gone.
Lavi, no Bookman as was the name he inherited from the last late Bookman, looked out the window to gaze down at the ground from his room one last time. The church was not as tall as the first building this branch of the order was in, but the view was much more beautiful, and tonight was his last night to enjoy it before he would be going off to another war in the far off countries of the Middle East.
Looking down at the bustling people in the street made him almost forget that in every heart lurks great evil and greed, caught up in the city scene he did not notice the door opening behind him.
Lenalee was very nervous to say the least when she decided to go see Lavi up in his room, she was afraid he wouldn't want to see her, would turn her out, or would ignore her completely or worse she would not be able to control herself. She wasn't a fool, she knew how attractive Lavi had grown -not that he wasn't always but now he was dare she say it sexy.
Now that she talked herself into walking into the room she instantly regretted it, the moment her eyes saw his long red hair hang loose and the sleeves of shirt rolled up to reveal delicious arms. She held her breath not knowing what to say, and in the end decided to turn back around and tell him goodbye when everyone else did.
"Is there something you need?" Bookman asked suddenly in his slightly husky voice, much to Lenalee's surprise. She blushed softly at the sound of his voice.
"I wanted to tell you goo-" she couldn't say it after all , "to have a safe trip." Lenalee looked away from him, after all her self encouragement she still couldn't tell him goodbye, how stupid of her.
"You could have waited downstairs with everyone else, besides it isn't a big deal bookman come and go all the time." Bookman calmly stated with no voice inflection whatsoever. Lenalee looked up at him to see him now facing her, God she thought he was so beautiful, if she wanted to kiss anyone at that moment it would be him.
The feelings inside of her were not necessarily recent but it was only in her womanhood that she discovered that she wanted to act on them, looking at his full lips right now made a wave of heat rush to her face, and she was glad it was dark in his room because even if she might not ever see him again it would be embarrassing if he saw her deep red blush.
"I-I could have but I wanted it to be more personal, I wanted to spend some time with you." Lenalee said the last part quietly and tried her hardest not to look away from his intense stare. It made her wonder was this the true Lavi? Or is this yet another façade he has made for when he takes on another identity? Or is this his way of dealing with death?
"Spend time with me?" Green eyes bore into black. Lenalee nodded her head slowly, unsure of herself at the moment.
"Where are you going?" He didn't answer, she knew he wouldn't.
Lenalee looked on as he gave her one more look before he turned back to the window that had his attention before, in that instant a part of her was jealous of the scene he saw, she wished that she could capture his attention as much it could.
Shuffling her way to his bare bed that lay on the other side of the window, she sat and pressed her knees to her chest while looking at the man standing in front of the window, only wishing that she could find the courage to do what she really wanted to.
Bookman's attention was not on the scene outside any more than he was truly was happy to be a Bookman. He looked at Lenalee through his peripheral and he could admit that the sight of her sitting in his bed, his old bed, reawakened feelings that were supposed to locked away the moment he became who is today, or will be when he arrives at his next destination. The sight of her once again long black hair shining in the moonlight and cascading down her body, made him want to jump onto to bed and take everything he could of her, and savor it for his long time away.
"It brings back memories doesn't it?" She said suddenly, giving him the excuse to look at her straight on.
"Memories? The only memories I have involving the moon are horrifying ones." Lenalee looked to see if there was a hint of a smile on his face.
There wasn't.
"No, the one when we first met you. You were walking with Allen around the town, I wasn't there of course but Allen told me about the time." He nodded his head twice while she smiled slightly.
"We were attacked by Akuma during that time as well." She knitted her eyebrows in frustration as she straightened out her legs and stood up to stand up right in front of him.
"We always fight Akuma Lavi," the use of his old persona made something inside soothe like maybe he could be remembered after all, "the special part of that day was you Lavi, it was the day you stepped into my life." She placed a hand unsteadily on his right cheek cupping it softly, a blush trying to fight its way to her face. A soft smile reached her eyes, as she looked into his own shocked green one.
"You don't know how much you mean to me Lavi, to all of us." She cupped his other cheek now steadily this time, up close she couldn't describe the beauty of his face, his well sculpted face, it was too much it felt as if she was not worthy to touch it but she did.
"When I first saw you, I thought 'oh man not another one' and when I started to get to know you I- still thought the same thing for a time but then as time went on I looked at you differently, you were actually really mature and you handled things so much better than me, instead of crying you got stronger, instead of fighting you laughed, instead of being weak you are strong."
Bookman silently gasped at her small confession, not knowing what to say she continued.
"And tonight is special because the night is so much like the other only now you are stepping out of my life." She could feel tears fall silently from her eyes, and he looked on as she did so and he decided he had to do for once what he wanted to, not what was expected out of a Bookman, but what was expected out of a man who wanted a woman.
"You talk too much, always have even the day we met." Then he wrapped his long arms around her waist and crashed his lips onto hers. It was a meeting of two very tired and needing souls, they needed this, both of them.
He could taste vanilla ice cream on her lips, which he was sure she was just eating before she came to see him. Lenalee grazed her hands up his face gently until her hands reached his hair and she quickly entangled her fingers within, careful not to untie his patch. His hands rubbed up and down her back causing electricity to travel through her spine, his kissing was much better than she imagined it would be.
Pulling back to gasp for air, Lenalee looked deeply into Bookman's eyes only for his look to shock her with its intensity, tearing his eye away from hers he brought his lips down to her throat and nibbled a trail down to her barely visible collar bone that was to his dismay blocked by her thick wool jacket. While his mouth stayed planted on her skin, he began to unbutton her jacket.
"Lavi…" Lenalee moaned out as he tossed off her jacket and found her pulse and began to suck on it. His warm hands gripped onto Lenalee's small frame tighter as he guided her backwards towards his recently vacated bed. He guided her backwards rather than plop backwards and bounce up. Before joining her he discarded his own jacket and knelt over and gently began to kiss her feet, the affection he showered upon her affected her all the way to her deep, needing, and lonely core.
The feel of his lips pressing slow and deliberately against her legs and his hands fondling and caressing everything in their wake every spot he kissed he would create hot fields of desire, she wanted him to kiss her more, on her lips, on her belly, on her so needed womanhood, everywhere. If she would have known that he would have been this sort of Man she would have told him good bye years ago.
Satisfied with the moans he elicited from kissing her beautiful long legs Bookman brought his head back up to meet Lenalee's lips with a collision full of passion and desire. Lenalee pulled at his shirt which could only be taken off if he pulled it over his head which would require leaving her lips.
Leaning back he took of his shirt while grasping from air from their amorous kiss, before meeting her lips again, he shifted their bodies to where they were laying length wise on the bed as opposed to width wise.
"Lavi." Lenalee stated as his fingers brushed the underside of one of her breasts. She felt an explosion of feeling well up inside of her, if she was apprehensive, she wasn't now all she wanted to experience that explosion again.
With Lavi on top of her Lenalee looked up as he pumped in and out of her, to her this was the best feeling she had ever experienced, and if possible she wanted to do it forever.
With Lavi.
Looking at his well sculpted body, and feeling his blessed endowment inside of her, gave her enough euphoria and blatant desire that she could muster the strength to say what was on her mind.
"Lavi, take me, take me with you." She thought she saw a smile appear on his face a smile that almost-almost looked like the true Lavi's smile, but if he did it, it was gone the moment it appeared.
"Please I don't want you leav-" Before she could finish her plead he stopped his movement and brutishly took hold of her shoulders and pressed his weight onto them hoping to hurt her.
"Is this what this is? Some way to stop me from doing my duties?" He didn't raise his voice but it was taken in just the same manner.
"No, I mean- I just wanted to be with you Lavi. I wanted to spend some time with you." She looked away slightly ashamed of herself.
What did she do this for?
"I wanted tonight to be special Lavi…" Her voice trailed off as he loosened his grip on her shoulders, and let out a barely audible sigh.
"Lenalee," the way he said her name made her heart flutter, maybe this really was just a dream, "this is how things are for a Bookman. I am Bookman."
She shook her head defiantly.
"You don't have to be. You can be Lavi." She swirled her hips slightly hoping to draw him in, but he stayed stock and gripped her shoulders tightly once again.
If only she knew what she was doing to him.
"There is no such thing as Lavi, I was never Lavi. I am Bookman." She opened her mouth to say something more but he sent her a deathly glare and she knew that it was time for her to shut up.
He gritted his teeth before deciding to continue what he started, if this was his last night as Lavi he was going to out with a bang.
Bookman did not sleep after he claimed Lenalee, he couldn't. When he imagined sleeping with Lenalee, he imagined that everything would be perfect and sweet, passionate, and sultry. He didn't imagine it to be pleading, and draining to ones soul. He imagined that when they were done they would spend the rest of the night talking and laughing,; kissing, and touching. He didn't imagine it to be filled with Lenalee's silent tears, and his own quiet breathing in the night as he watched her body glisten deliciously with sweat in the moonlight.
A part of him wished that this never happened, it would have been better if he left not knowing this level of bliss that the girl he had been yearning for brought.
Another part of him was so glad that it happened, the Lavi part. He finally got her, he finally got to express, partially what he wanted to her, and she expressed that he meant so much to her. He could admit it felt incredible inside to know that he would be missed.
But it wasn't enough to make him stay with her.
Slowly getting out of bed, and dressing in his new uniform that consisted of a white button up shirt, a burgundy red tie, black vest, a suit that matched the color of the tie, along with black leather gloves, and mid calf black buckled boots, Bookman took one last look at his one time lover before putting on a dark cloak and pulling the hood over his head and walking out the door.
Lenalee, still asleep shuffled in her sleep.
"Lavi, I…"
Creeping quietly down the hallway of the European Branch headquarters, Bookman's long legs brought him quickly past the many rooms of the Order and down into the bustling streets of the city, where he made his way to the train station.
A mere few steps before he made it onto the platform, he was bumped into by a large man.
"Hey watch where you going!" the man heckled, not wanting to but really wanting to punch the man in the face, Bookman stepped away from the man only to be pushed again.
"Is there a problem?" Bookman inquired through gritted teeth in as calmly a fashion he could.
"No, do you have a problem?" shot back the same man. Bookman met his eyes, with only rage inside. The man was a little taken aback by the look he received from the much smaller man.
"I do and I'm going to solve it soon, if you don't step away." The man didn't move back, but he didn't continue pushing Bookman either.
He knew when to stop.
Bookman thought about taking one last look at the city he was going to leave behind, but decided that if did he would not be able to turn back and go ahead with his lonely journey.
Embarking on the train, he found a dark corner to sit in alone, where he'd hoped he would not be bothered by others. He kept his lone suitcase on the seat with him and tucked it under his arm, and put it on his side closest to the window. He felt his eyes drift close. He needed his rest, a man needed his rest when he was to make a new life for himself.
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A/N: I hoped you like it, I already have ideas for the next chapter so please RR and sit back for the next adventure.