Author Note: Takes place sometime in Season 4
Phoebe entered Monica's apartment groaning loudly as she stumped around the kitchen.
Ross looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes wondering if he should just ignore it. He was currently in a battle with Emily, over email, trying to get out of one of her friends "tragic" art events. After the third groan of discomfort he finally gave in. She obviously wanted him to say something. "What is it Phoebs?"
"I can't find anything that I want to eat. Everything makes me nauseous. Being pregnant is no piece of cake." Her face lit up. "Oh, cake."
"There you go," he said turning back to his laptop.
She went over to the fridge and pulled a chocolate cake left over from a business event that Monica had through. "Oh no, I feel it coming on," she said putting it down on the counter and joining him on the couch.
"Phoebs, I'm sorry."
Like a blood hound she began sniffing at the air. "What smells good?"
He picked up the sandwhich on his plate and twirled it under her nose. "Is it my BLT?"
"Oh God, yes," she moaned, her brow furrowed. Lips puckering into a kissable frown. "Ross, you know I can't eat meat." He shrugged and finished the rest of the sandwhich with her staring at him. "You know what? I could use another one of these."
He managed to see the smile on her face before she hid it behind her hangry frown. "I don't eat meat Ross. No need to flaunt your killing of thousands of animals in front of me."
He smirked. "Yeah, what was I thinking." He went to the fridge and pulled out three containers of meat. "That BLT would probably take to long anyway. I think I had a taste for a pastrami on rye. Maybe add in some ham, and salami for good measure."
"Well since we're eating I'm going to have a soy burger," she said waddling over to the fridge to pull out her own ingredients.
"Monica has the ingredients to a soy burger in her fridge?" he asked genuinely puzzled.
"I keep it here for my hangry emergencies," she nodded emphatically.
He chuckled, sitting on one of the stools. "Good idea." Truthfully, he wasn't hungry at all, but he was doing this for Phoebe's own good. He slathered lots of mayo on, and began layering the pastrami on.
"So what else are you going to add to that?" she called over her shoulders adding some beans to some hot water.
"Oh, maybe some ham," he said looking up at her over his eyelashes as he opened the container of ham.
She moaned. "What else?"
"Some pastrami," he said layering it on top of the other meat. Her reactions where even starting to make him hungry and something else.
She moaned. "What else?"
He couldn't help, but think how sexy she sounded, her face practically glowing. Wow, that was really inappropriate on so many levels. He shook the thoughts from his head. "Cheese," he said adding the last piece of bread on top before taking a huge bite.
She walked around the island casually. Before taking a bite out of the other end of the sandwhich. He gave her the rest of the sandwhich with a smile of satisfaction. "There now isn't baby more satisfied," he said rubbng her huge belly. He remembered Monica telling him that she was about five months now. "Crazy that you're still going through nausea."
She stopped eating halfway through the sandwhich to talk. "Its just these crazy cravings. Like meat. I can't keep this up. I'm killing some poor bambi cow eating this."
He licked his lips. "How about this? I'll go vegetarian just until you finish the rest of your pregnancy and you can eat all the meat you want. That way you're not hurting more animals. You're just eating my portion."
She put her hand on her back and waddled over to the couch to sit. "Wow Ross, would you really do that?"
He picked up a throw pillow from one of the other chairs and placed it behind her back. "Why not? Whatever the baby and you need."
She took another bite of her sandwhich and put her feet up on the coffe table. She laughed. "You're a God send. To bad you don't do feet rubs. Heck everything aches. But I don't want my brother touching me like that? And those prgnancy masseages are super expensive."
"I'll do it," he said quickly.
She shook her head. "I was just talking."
"No, I mean it. I'm probably the only pregnancy expert around here. If you need anything I'd really like it if I where the first person you called. Even if it's just for foot rubs," he said, more sure of this than anything else in his life besides his son.
Phoebe frowned. Unable to think of any cons to his proposal under the sharp gaze of his stare. "I don't need another person telling me what to do about the baby."
"This isn't about the baby. I want to take care of you," He said looking at her endearingly. "As a friend," he added.
She shook her head still unsure.
"You're doing this amazingly unselfish thing and I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. While everyone else is worried about the baby," he said making a subtle reference to her surrgacy. There where plentry of people in Phoebe's life worried for the chid and monitoring its every movement. How many of those same people where worried for Phoebe?
"Okay," she nodded with a hesisiant laugh. "Where do we start?"
He sttod up and went over to the television. "Laughter is good for any stress. So how about some rom coms."
She laughed. "You're going to watch rom coms with me?"
He looked back over his shoulder already pushing in the first VHS. "Yeah." He joined her on the couch, picking up one of her feet.
She started to protest and stopped when he shot her his look of warning. She felt guilty for enjoying the pampering so much. Surely, she would be explaining this to Emily later. But what was there to explain? They where just friends. And three movies later she managed to convince herself of that. Even on the fifthteenth kissing sceen that was starting to get a little predictable.
"Aw here it comes," he said turning towards me. "We're going to pretend to kiss even though we secretly find each other repulsive."
She through her head back in laughter before brushing her lips across his. It was sloppy and messy and totally meant to make fun of the onscreen fakeistry we had seen so much of. Her hormones was the only reason the kiss deepened. The only reason he reciprocated. The only reason her skin felt like it was on fire and he was water. It was the only reason that they didn't tear away from each other until they heard a knock on the door.
He just stared at her at a loss for words. Until the second knock drew his attention to the door. His hair wild and tossled from her running her hands through it. She wasn't expecting him to jump over the couch and run towards the door.
"Why aren't you answering your phone? It's almost seven and the art exhibit is starting now," Emily said pushing her way into the room. "And no you can't get out of it."
She turned to say hello to Phoebe, but she was already up, waddling to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her.
"Is she alright?" Emily asked looking at the path she had gone with concern.
"No, its hormones."
"Poor thing," she said turning back to him. "Wait, what's that mean?"
"It means I will see you downstairs after I make sure that she's okay," he said pushing her to the door.
"Alright," she said kissing him on the cheek before. "But not to long."
He ran to the bathroom door after making sure that Emily had cleared the hallway. "Phoebe?"
"Don't worry about it. Go," she said from behind the door. "It was just hormones."
He shook her head. "That explains you, but not me."
The dooor swung open. "Yeah, you did kiss me back," she cursed, "What was that about?"
"I don't know."
"Well neither do I," Phoebe's eyes began to well up with tears.