So, for those who care, this is a rewrite of my other story "The big bad dog fell for the innocent little kitten?" How did I even think of that title? Hopefully I won't screw this up too badly. Just so you know, there are going to be a few changes in the story. Why am I writing this? I don't even think that anyone will read it.
Randy: "Of course they won't! What, with you blabbering for half a page!"
Ok, fine. I'm starting it.
Cody: "You'd better not make me a crybaby again!"
I'll keep that in mind. Teddy, be a dear and read the disclaimer.
Ted: "Why me? What are you here for?"
Just do it!
Ted: *Grumbling* "Wildfire-200 doesn't own the WWE or its wrestlers."
That wasn't so hard now was it? Ok, on with the story!
Opposites Attract
Ch. 1: Stinking neighbors
It seemed like the middle of a great day. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining in the clear blue sky and happiness was in the air. However, that happiness wasn't affecting one particular person.
Randy Orton was sitting in his father's car glaring out the window. He was currently sizing up their new house. He couldn't believe they had moved yet again. His father had assured him that this would be the last time. But then again, he'd done the same thing every other time they'd moved. To say Randy didn't believe his old man would be an understatement.
"You know your room is completely furnished right?"
Randy jumped slightly when he heard his father's voice. He turned to his father, Bob Orton, and looked at him with disbelief written all over his face.
"It's purple," he yelled, outraged. So he may have gone inside to check the place out. That didn't mean he wanted to stick around. Definitely not in his purple room!
"It could be worse."
"Oh yeah? How exactly?"
Randy honestly didn't expect his father's answer.
"It could be pink," Bob said, waiting for his son's reaction. He chuckled at Randy's expression.
"You pictured it, didn't you," He asked with a cheeky grin on his face.
"It's terrifying. But I got to admit, there's not much of a difference."
"Oh come now. It's not that bad. Slap a little bit of paint on it and it'll be perfect."
"The computer is pink! How do you slap paint on a computer?!"
"Oh please, you'll cover it in all kinds of stickers and whatnot by the end of the week. Now get your 18-year-old ass out of the car."
Randy just shot him a look, grunted and got out of the car.
"I didn't realize I'd raised a whiny princess."
"Get back to me on that when I paint your room in pink. I might just put in a purple fairytale castle for diversity," Randy said as he made his way to the house with a determined look on his face. Bob panicked. He knew that look all too well. It usually didn't end well for him.
"Randal Keith Orton don't you dare go anywhere near my room," He yelled after his son. He then proceeded to run after said son when he waved his hand dismissively.
Bob was glad Randy was reacting like this. He was playfully sarcastic and that meant no anger and no anger meant no arguing and ... well you get the idea. He knew Randy didn't want to move again but he meant it when he'd told Randy that this was the last time they were moving. His boss had offered him to stay in this town and do business in it for however long he wanted. The downside was that the pay wasn't as good. Bob had considered saying no but then he'd seen Randy and decided that it would definitely be better if they finally settled down permanently.
The two of them made their way to the house. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary. It was white, two stories with a small front and back yard and a nice white fence surrounding it. However, there was something about it that drew people's attention. Maybe it was the flowers on the front lawn or the homey look it had. Heck, it could be the neighbors. Bob had no idea why there had been so many people fighting for the place. He liked to think that he'd gotten it because of his wonderful personality but he was well aware that wasn't true. The previous owner had told him that he was the only one that hadn't freaked him out in one way or another. The first thing that went through Bob's mind at that particular moment was that those people must've acted completely deranged. What was the reason? Well, let's just say Bob didn't hear that very often and leave it at that.
When they got inside Randy went up to see if there was anything worth salvaging in his room. Bob on the other hand was about to go to the kitchen when he remembered that there was nothing in it yet.
"Randy! How does pizza sound for lunch," he yelled, praying to whoever was listening that his son would settle for something other than meat this one time. You think it's hard to look after a teenager? Well it's even harder looking after a hot-headed teenager with a smudge of canine in his DNA. Bob considered himself lucky though. Their last neighbor had had a kid with a lot more canine genes in his DNA than Randy. He never thought he'd see a 16-year-old chasing after a mail-man on all fours.
Bob winced at his thoughts. He hoped he'd never have to see Randy's reaction to being called a teenager at the age of 18. That would be one hell of an argument.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his son bounding down the stairs.
"Why? Can't you make something," Randy asked, annoyed.
"Oh yes, sure. You heat up the floor and I'll see what we have in the wall."
Randy looked sheepish for a moment. He'd forgotten that there was no furniture. The last family had left the furniture in the bedrooms but that and the things in the bathroom and toilet was all.
"Does it have to be pizza though? I don't know what they put in there but I usually can't get the taste out of my mouth for weeks. It gets old eventually."
Bob considered that as he looked at his son who was most definitely not pouting.
"Well then what do you propose?"
"Takeout?" was the hopeful reply. Bob sighed. How could he say no to that expression?
"Alright, I take it I'm ordering chicken?"
He chuckled when he saw Randy's face light up. He knew the boy was starving after the five hours it had taken them to get to this house. Granted, Randy had slept through four and a half of those hours but he was hungry all the time and Bob had the feeling that his canine genes had little to do with it.
"Definitely," Randy said a bit too loudly in his excitement.
"Right. Well how about you go outside and take a look around till our lunch gets here?"
"Do I have to?"
"I thought dogs liked the outside."
Randy scowled at his father and pointed an accusing finger at him.
"That was a low blow if I've ever seen one."
Bob just smirked and said: "Isn't it true though?"
Randy grumbled and made his way out the door begrudgingly. His father smiled triumphantly and got busy with ordering takeout.
'Ok. Now, how much chicken can an 18-year-old dog-boy eat?' Bob thought. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know.
While Bob was trying to figure out just how much chicken he had to order Randy was making his way to the porch. He had to admit, if he excluded his oh so girly room, this place didn't seem so bad. However, as he looked around something seemed a little off. It was the neighbors' house to be exact. It actually wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Gray walls, two stories, a few windows. There was only grass and a pathway in the front yard. The only thing that could make a person take a second glance was the iron wrought fence that surrounded the house's perimeter and even it looked incredibly simple. Randy was sure that the family in that house was hiding something. Nobody would live in a place that plain if they weren't.
Randy's train of thought was broken when the door to the neighbors' house opened. A big guy stepped out of the house as he ran his hand over his short blonde hair. He seemed to be slightly on the chubby side but as Randy looked closer he saw that was actually muscles. Soon a smaller boy ran up to the blonde. Randy couldn't quite make out his features though. However, he could see that the boy was wearing clothes that looked a little too big for him. He also had a black army cap on his head.
'Ha, Blondie and Cap-Boy,' Randy thought as he watched the two of them interact. It became obvious to Randy that the two of them were close by the way Blondie wrapped his arm around Cap-Boy's shoulders protectively.
'Brothers maybe?'
The more Randy watched them the more he realized that they were tense. Blondie looked ready to tear anyone who got near them and Cap-Boy was jumping slightly on his feet, looking distraught. Soon he understood why. There was yelling coming from inside the house. It wasn't really loud enough for a normal person to hear but Randy wasn't exactly normal.
He could hear one male and one female voice. It sounded like quite the fight. However, Randy couldn't make out what they were saying but apparently Blondie and Cap-Boy could. As the yelling got more and more intense Blondie pulled the boy closer as he hid his face in the guy's chest. Things kept escalating until the noise of glass shattering filled the air. Blondie's head snapped up as he pulled the boy even closer for a brief moment before he ran into the house angrily. As Cap-Boy began to go after the big guy a new voice was heard.
'Blondie's probably,' Randy's brain provided unnecessarily.
The boy wrapped his arms around himself.
'Ok, that's adorable.'
Randy's eyes widened.
'I did not just think that!'
"Who are you?"
Those were the three words that brutally dragged Randy out of his thoughts. He looked up. Cap-Boy was standing in front of him. The rim of his cap was covering his eyes and his baggy clothes covered everything else. Randy could only see half of his face. He found himself wanting to kiss the boy's plump lips and…
"Quit staring!"
Randy felt like kicking himself.
"Sorry. It's just… What's with the getup," Randy asked trying to think of something more acceptable than "I just wanted to kiss you into oblivion or maybe do something else". Yeah, somehow Randy didn't see that playing out very well.
"Oh. Well, you see…" Cap-Boy started but before he could continue a strong wind started blowing. Both teens froze up. Then each pointed his finger at the other accusingly.
"You're a cat," Randy yelled.
"You're a mutt," was the nearly-as-loud reply.
Just as they were about to jump at each other's throats a small, obviously faked cough was heard. The two of them spun around. Blondie was standing there. Randy could tell from the look Blondie was throwing him that the guy had heard the ending of that conversation.
"Cody," Blondie turned to Cap-Boy, "Get inside. They've calmed down and we're having dinner in five minutes."
"What are you having? Is it cat food? Or maybe it's a few rats with tasty topping?"
Randy had no idea where that had come from. He'd never attacked with words before for he knew how much it could hurt. But he just wanted to get these house cats off their high horse.
"Why don't you find yourself a bone to bury in your back yard or maybe get you dad to play fetch the stick with you?"
It was Cap-Boy this time. Or was it Cody now? Randy's head whipped around to look at him only to get entranced by the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. He was too distracted to say anything and the 'cats' took that as a victory. Randy heard Cap-Boy inhale deeply as they walked away.
'Was he holding his breath,' Randy wondered incredulously.
'Well he isn't exactly a flower either!'
After a while Randy could smell the enticing aroma of chicken wafting from the living room window of his house. He immediately forgot about the stinking cats and made his way to his house.
Soon he found himself sitting on a bucket in the living room eating his chicken wings blissfully. Bob was sitting right next to him on a steady pile of suitcases watching his son eating his third box of chicken. 10 years ago, before Randy's appetite had started developing along with other things, he'd never have thought he'd have to order five boxes filled to the brim with chicken wings just so he could sate his son's hunger for a few hours. But Bob knew that if things suddenly changed, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.
After dinner Randy found himself unable to stop thinking about those stupid cats and the way he'd acted toward them. He'd never stooped as low as that in his life. He didn't even want to imagine his father's reaction.
'Especially after…' Randy grimaced, 'No! I'm not thinking about that right now,' he thought as he turned around and closed his eyes.
The last thing that went through his mind that night was: 'Stinking neighbors!'
And it's done. I'm pretty sure it's longer than the chapters I wrote for TBBDFFTIK. Good God, even the short version of the title is annoyingly long. I hope you enjoyed it more.
Randy: "I don't smell bad. Do I?"
Cody: "Not at all Ran. Just…whatever you do, don't check. Ok?"
Randy: *Looks at Cody suspiciously* "Whyyy?"
Cody: *Eyes dart around* * Looks at me* "Where's Ted!?"
Oh, I locked him in my new, reinforced vault. He's too distracting. I don't need him making me slip up.
Randy: "What? I'm not a distraction?"
Oh, you're probably one of the hottest men alive. It's just that my taste has changed. I like guys like Colton Haynes, Tyler Hoechlin…
Cody: "They have nothing in common when it comes to looks."
*Whispering: Freaking deadpan*.They're hot! That counts for something, doesn't it!?
Cody: "Yeah but Randy seems hotter than Ty – HMPH"
*Clamps hands against Cody's mouth* "Ok, hopefully I'll get three reviews and you'll like it. I gotta go before Cody gets away. Or worse – licks my hand! *Runs, trying to drag Cody away*
Randy: *Looks on as Cody doesn't budge while I do my best to push him out of the room* "What were you saying about this Tyler guy?"
Cody: "Well…"
Shut up and I'll give you catnip!
Cody: "OK!"
*Turn to Randy* Go pout, I win! (Who can guess where that line's form?)
Randy: *Goes in a corner and pouts*