I initially wrote this fic with absolutely no plans to ever upload it anywhere, but I grew fond of it. It was written in tiny amounts in between exams and such like, so the fluency left a lot to be desired and it's been one hell of an editing job.
Please excuse any dumb mistakes, I'm pretty sure I got them all this time but you can never be sure. Also, Albion Uni was originally Cambridge but I became too scared I'd got stuff wrong (despite having visited the city a few times)
Rated T for mild swearing and some sex references.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, this is a fanfiction, after all.
The problem with history being doomed to repeat itself was, as Merlin quickly discovered, was that even the little bits of history, things that should be insignificant in the grand scheme of things, repeated too. And that... well that kind of sucked.
It had been approximately 1,500 years since Arthur had died at the lake of Avalon, and every 400 or so years, children were born with an extraordinary likeness (read: usually identical) to those who grew up in Camelot. Not everybody, and sometimes, the ages didn't quite work or something went a little wrong, appearance wise. But it could be counted on that there would be an Arthur, and a Guinevere, and a Morgana. Somehow, Merlin just knew there always would be.
The first time, there had been a shockingly red-haired Leon and an Elyon and - Merlin discovered several years after his death - a Gaius. The second time there was a Percival, a 20-years-older Lancelot, a Mordred and a Hunith. The last one hurt the most, because this time his mother married a merchant and died in childbirth, leaving her son with the name Merlyn. Merlin and Merlyn had nothing in common except Hunith's nose, and Merlyn never knew about his older almost half-brother.
Merlin watched his friends come and go, never ageing unless he wanted too, never dying.
Merlin quickly discovered that relationships had a habit of repeating themselves, too. When there was a reincarnation almost everybody found each other somehow - this included finding Merlin. Merlin had been forced to watch as, both times, Arthur had placed his trust in Morgana, who betrayed him. Both times, Morgana and Arthur had been siblings, or something like it. Both times Gwen and Morgana were friends. Whichever knights were reincarnated became close friends and took up a close relationship with Arthur, and usually Gwen and Merlin, too. Both times, Arthur ended up married to Gwen. Both times, Merlin had ended up taking up his original role as Arthur's best friend, Arthur's close companion. Both times, Merlin had let himself age, slowly.
Merlin had lived three lifetimes with Arthur. None so short has his first. He had watched Arthur die three times, but it never became less painful.
Merlin and Arthur. How funny that people remembered them. They got the stories wrong, (Excalibur) made new ones up, (The Holy Grail?) spelt names wrong (where the hell did "Morgan Le Fey" come from, and why spell it "Gawain"?) and completely misjudged ages - to be fair, most of the mistakes would have been avoided if Merlin hadn't been so secretive. And then, of course, they thought it was all fiction. All his adventures, Arthur's legacy, Camelot itself, all dismissed as children's stories. Magic nothing but an abstract concept, long gone from the land. The only magic left was in Merlin.
It was the year 2013, and Arthur was late.
A lot had changed since Arthur's last reincarnation. The industrial revolution, for a start. The world was moving at a ridiculously fast pace - after years of monotony it was a shock. Not only that, but people were coming so far. Merlin wasn't so optimistic as to state that the modern world had achieved equality, but it had make one hell of a move in the right direction.
But despite everything, Merlin was still bored. He was a twenty-something again, this time deciding to pass as eighteen in order to go back to university and study English Literature at Albion. He was good at reading old texts, having been around to watch the language develop, and he hadn't been a Literature student in ages.
Albion was a prestigious University and so far, Arthur had only reincarnated as a member of the upper-class. It was also a long shot, but Merlin was getting slightly desperate.
Merlin had had a long time to think (far too long to think) and the truth was, he was a sick of the way things repeated themselves. He hated watching Morgana's relationship with her friends and family deteriorate and watching her become miserable, and he couldn't bare that way they would all look at him for the first time, no recognition or familiarity in their eyes. Most of all, however, he was sick of Arthur always choosing Gwen.
Queen Guinevere. Kind, loyal, and the love of Arthur's lives (plural intentional). Social class and laws be damned, they found a way - he was happy for them, he really was. In a lot of ways, Gwen and Arthur were perfect for each other. And if it killed Merlin knowing that Arthur would never want Merlin, love him in the way that Merlin loved Arthur, that that wasn't important, not really. It wasn't Arthur's job to indulge the wishes of a manservant he'd forgotten he ever had.
He got into Albion University through a mixture of magic and forged A-Level results (something he'd had to do so many times he'd stopped feeling guilty) and settled in easily. He'd lived in Albion city years ago (he was drawn to it mostly because of the name) but had been avoiding the place so he wouldn't be recognised. It was nice to be back, although the small city was barely recognisable.
Four weeks into the new term, Merlin walked into the Apple shop and bumped right into Arthur, making him drop the bag he was holding. His breathless elation (he KNEW his instincts were right about Albion!) quickly turned to embarrassment as he realised that once again he was going to make a bad first impression.
"You idiot!" Bellowed Arthur, picking up his bag. Oh, great. Nice to see the prat again. Arthur looked exactly like he used to, dressed in a tight white t-shirt, blazer, black jeans and... Combat boots? Not what he'd have expected. Merlin felt that familiar, almost-forgotten urge to fling his arms around the blond man and kiss him senseless. But even if Arthur didn't currently see him as an absolute stranger, that would still be a bad idea.
Merlin settled for glaring at him instead (an equally familiar impulse). "You weren't looking where you were going."
Arthur seemed oblivious to the shoppers whose exit he was blocking. "Yes I was. It was you who-" Merlin pulled him out the way of the doors.
Arthur yanked his arm away, looking shocked. Ah, awkward, con-contact Britain. "Either way, I have to be going." He turned to leave.
"Arthur, wait!" He couldn't just go - Merlin hadn't got any details he needed. Stupidly small city or not, Albion was big enough that if Arthur left now, Merlin may not find him again for years.
Arthur turned. "How do you know my name?" Shit. Gotta improvise.
"I'm magic." Double shit.
Arthur was walking back towards him. He raised a mocking eyebrow "You're magic?"
"No. But my dad's mate does work at the university." Said Merlin, still improvising wildly. "I recognised you from your file."
He narrowed his eyes. "I didn't send in a picture." So Arthur was studying at Albion, then.
"Background checks!" He lied. "Albion checks the Facebook of their potential students." Arthur nodded, apparently trying to look on top of things. And then looked at Merlin curiously, and there was an awkward silence that lasted far too long before Merlin blurted "Want to go for coffee?" He nodded to the little Costa across the shopping centre.
"Er, sure?"
"Great." Merlin spun around and marched off towards Costa, trusting that Arthur's startled confusion would be enough to make sure he'd follow. And sure enough, he turned around and there he was.
"So. You apparently know my name. I'm not going to ask how you even remember it, because I'm sure the answer will be weird." he smiled grimly. "What's yours?"
"Merlin Emrys."
"Merlin?"
"Yes." Once again, Merlin wished that "Merlin" had caught on. Harry Potter was a famous wizard, but that didn't stop hundreds of baby Harrys being born every week - why did his name have to make him stick out?
"Are you messing with me?"
"There are better ways to mess with somebody, don't you think?"
Arthur huffed at him and the two of them joined the line for coffee. There was a moment of silence in which Arthur examined the price list on the boards behind the counter, and Merlin examined Arthur.
His blond hair was cut almost identically to how it had been back during his first life, but it was artfully ruffled in a way that must have taken at least half an hour in front of the mirror. His eyes were a steely grey - they seemed the only feature that had changed at all. And God, he was attractive.
"What d'you want?"
"What?" Merlin pulled his eyes away from where they had wondered to Arthur's lips (also unchanged) and tried to listen the words they were forming.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "To drink, Merlin."
"Oh. I asked you here." Merlin pointed out. "I should order for you."
"Yes, but I am ahead of you in this queue and judging by what you're wearing, I undoubtedly have more money than you. What do you want?"
Merlin registered vaguely that he should probably feel offended but instead he grinned. He'd even missed Arthur's general prattishness. "Hot chocolate, then. With cream and marshmallows."
"Very mature."
Merlin stuck his tongue out at him.
Within a few months, Merlin had found Morgana. She was studying Medicine at Kings, with Arthur - they were step-siblings this time. He had also found Gwaine, who worked in the Costa on weekends (and hadn't that been a shock when Merlin had gone to order a week ago and Sir Gwaine was serving him.) Gwaine happily chatted about his plans to start a business with his girlfriend as he made their coffee. He slipped his number under Merlin's cup with a joking wink, and Merlin realised he'd really missed the man who had once been one of his best friends.
Merlin was happily considering how he would stop Gwaine from flirting with Morgana when the group of them met up for drinks that evening when he realised the girl who was chaining her bike up next to him had very curly black hair. Very familiar curly black hair. He knew it would be Gwen before she even turned to look at him.
"Can I help you?" She asked, her tone polite. She was wearing a stylish brown coat and a pair of wide, round glasses.
"No. Well, yes. I'm looking for the Disney Store?" Well, he'd said far worse things under pressure.
She laughed. "It's down there, next to the opening to the Spirella Centre." She said, pointing. He hoisted her bag higher onto her shoulder, clearly about to leave.
"No, I'm hopeless at directions. I need you to take me." His tone was meant to be playful but he knew how Gwen would take it almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth. She was predictable like that.
"Oh gosh, I'm not - If you're trying to flirt with me - I'm taken. I mean, not that I think you were but if you were then sorry. I'm not interested. i'm sure you're lovely and if I wasn't - no, actually I probably wouldn't you're not my type. Oh! i'm sure that you're somebody's type... Oh, now I've embarrassed myself, Lance is always saying I need to be less nervous. Sorry. Let's try again. I'm Gwen, what's your name?"
"Merlin." He said, grinning ear to ear. "Who's Lance?" Her boyfriend, probably. It didn't matter if he was, they'd break up within a month of Gwen meeting Arthur.
"My fiancé, actually." Fiancé? She flashed an understated silver ring in front of his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry, did you say your name was Merlin?"
"Yes my mother was eccentric. I've heard every joke before."
"I wasn't going to joke! I'm pretty sure that'd be incredibly hypocritical considering my name's Guinevere and my fiancé's called Lancelot, like in the legends. Look, Merlin, I've actually got to dash, I'm meant to be meeting him. It's been nice meeting you." She pulled a notepad and fluffy pen from her bag and scribbled down directions to the Disney Store along with her name and number, which she then handed to Merlin. "I'm staying at Newham college, text me if you want to meet up. You seem cool, I could use a Merlin in my life. All I need now is an Arthur!" She giggled. And then she hurried off, leaving Merlin clutching her number and swearing repeatedly in his head.
Lancelot? Gwen was engaged to a man named Lancelot. It had to be THE Lancelot, Merlin's Lancelot. Nobody named their kid Lancelot these days, it was almost as uncommon a name as his. Merlin supposed he shouldn't be surprised; he'd had often wondered who Gwen would have ended up with if Arthur hadn't been an option. Lancelot was... sweet. Actually, he was kind of perfect for Gwen and if it wasn't for the fact that Gwen was going to meet Arthur and break Lance's heart Merlin would be happy for her. But it wouldn't work out, because history was kind of a bitch like that.
Merlin trudged down to the Disney shop, figuring he might as well go there now Gwen had so nicely helped him out. He kept folding and unfolding her number in his hands, in a state of nervous shock. There was a large poster on the window of Merida, Pixar's new princess (Merlin may or may not have seen Brave more than once. Hey, he'd been a loyal Disney watcher since the beginning. Even if The Sword and the Stone had made him cringe.) Merlin stared at it for a moment, thinking about how the big, curly hair was probably how Gwen's would look if she grew it out a little. Then he remembered how, with his long hair, Lancelot may have looked like Flynn Rider. He couldn't actually remember much about what Lancelot looked like. It was like that with reincarnations - Merlin forgot the details of their face, only to remember them in perfectly clarity once he saw them once again.
"You planning to go in or are you just ogling the redhead?" Came a voice from his right.
"Gwaine!" Merlin spun around to see him leaning on the glass, smirking.
"We still on for drinks tonight? D'you mind if I bring Elena?"
"Your girlfriend? Sure." Elena reminded Merlin of the girl Arthur had almost married once with the same name. She was gloriously cheerful and quite ditzy and they made a nauseating cute couple - Merlin half wondered if it was the same girl he had met in Camelot, but he hadn't got that bizarre clarity of memory feeling he normally experienced when seeing reincarnations for the first time. "We'll make it a getting-to-know-you party."
Elena herself then wondered out of the Disney Store (Gwaine had clearly been waiting for her) clutching a Spiderman mask. "Merlin!" She launched herself into his arms for a hug. "What have you got in your hand?" She asked as she pulled away, handing Gwaine the mask. He put his other arm around her waist immediately.
"Oh. It's the number of a girl I just met." Elena pulled the number from his hands while Gwaine whistled appreciatively. "Not like that!"
"You know Gwen?"
You have no idea. "Just barely."
"She's a Newham girl - her room's near mine."
"Small world." Said Gwaine. "Hey Elena, what's with this mask?"
Elena started babbling about how you didn't need a reason to buy a Spiderman mask but Merlin wasn't really listening anymore. He'd pulled out his phone and was inputting the number.
Hey I'm going out for drinks tonight with some friends including Elena. She says she knows you? Want to meet up? Lance can come. There'll be an 'Arthur' there :)
- Merlin (that guy you just bumped into)
The response was immediate. "It's destiny!"
"This is Arthur, Gwaine, Morgana and you know Elena. You guys, this is Gwen and Lancelot."
There was a tension in the air - or was that just Merlin's nerves - when Arthur and Gwen looked at each other. Arthur was wearing what Merlin once dubbed his "Guinevere-face" but Gwen wasn't wearing the one that usually corresponds. In fact, there was nothing but a polite cheerfulness in her features.
"Oh, that's just sickening cute." Drawled Morgana. "Lancelot and Gwen."
"Lancelot and Guinevere, actually." Said Gwen shyly. Morgana clapped her hands in delight.
"That's perfect! Arthur, no trying to steal this girl away. I know what you're like."
Arthur made a noise of indignation, but pulled is eyes away from Gwen. Gwen flushed in embarrassment, clinging onto Lance's arm and scooting a little closer to him. Lancelot, his hair a little lighter than Merlin remembered, a light stubble across his jaw, smiled fondly at her.
Merlin scooted over to allow space in the booth and Lance and Gwen sat down. Conversation was a little difficult at first, since not everybody knew each other, but Elena prompted Gwen to tell the story of how she met Lancelot and the atmosphere softened. A fiancé was a new obstacle in Arthur's relationship with Gwen - was Arthur already smitten, Merlin wondered? It didn't look like it. In fact, Arthur kept shooting glances at Merlin, not Gwen. Merlin smiled awkwardly when their eyes met, and Arthur looked down immediately, like he was embarrassed to be caught in the act.
Weird.