(AN:

T: Hey hey peeps I'm author Tauran ;)

C: Hellooo, I'm Caliah! Taur and I started a joint account, and are writing stories together. *party streamers* So please enjoy, and no flames! Flames will be used to burn John, and I'm pretty sure you DON'T want to do that OwO

T: Gog you talk too much Caliah! Shush and let 'em reeeaaad ^_^

C: …..hag -.-

T: Love you too. Anyways, please enjoy the story!)

CHAPTER ONE

KK POV

"Eridan no!"

"Eridan YES!"

This conversation was going on far too long. You look between the arguing imbeciles you call friends and sigh.

"ERIDAN, SOLLUX, SHUT THE FUCK UP."

Both of the trolls stop fighting, apparently surprised by your sudden auspistice-like command. They stare at you, Eridan's hands gripping Sollux's shirt, and Sollux's hand paused on the way to remove his glasses.

Eridan drops his hands, sneering at the gemini.

"He started it."

Sollux rolled his eyes.

"What are you ED, a fucking grub?"

"At least I'm not loww blood scum-"

His eyes suddenly widen as he turns to look at you.

"Uh, Kar? Shit I didn't mean-"

Snarling, you stomp over to the sea dweller, and glare up at him.

"Once both of you fucktards get your Gog damn heads out of your asses, come find me. We'll settle your petty issues when you aren't acting like whiny grubs. I'll be in the fucking nutrient block."

You spin around and quickly stalk towards the door. They both call after you, so you flip them the bird as you exit the room. Why the hell do you have to put up with these idiots? Sure, you are the leader so you guess it's your responsibility to put up with everyone's shit, but lately it's been a lot of Eridan and Sollux either pestering you or trying to find you in the maze that is your new home.

After the game ended, you and the others decided that the humans and trolls should share a planet. You're not quite sure how well you'd been thinking back then. The trolls and humans were peaceful enough, but as both customs started to mix, trouble broke out. That's why it was decided, to settle differences and such, the sgrub and sburb players would all stay in one giant ass hive, and work shit out living together.

Why the fuck are you even thinking about this anyway? You don't have to worry about that, Kanaya and Rose are in charge of that stuff, when they aren't making out anyway. You reach what the humans call "the kitchen". You like that title, it just feels better rolling off the tongue. Not that you'd tell anyone that of course.

"Karkat?"

You had been so deep in thought you hadn't realized who else was in the kitchen.

John fucking Egbert.

Heir of Breath, leader of the humans, hero of Sburb. And also, the guy you are SLIGHTLY flushed for. You start feeling your cheeks heat up, and you quickly push down the butterflies that have leapt to life in your stomach.

"What the fuck do you want Egbert?"

He flashes you a bucktoothed grin and shrugs, stumbling over to his human "oven".

"You looked like you were spacing out when you walked in. You alright?"

With a huff you cross your arms and mumble, "Eridan and Sollux are fighting again and I'm hiding out here until those shit heads can pull it together."

John frowns slightly at the mention of the two trolls.

"Well I'm almost done in here, my cookies just need to cool."

He gestures towards the little round pastries he'd just pulled out of the oven.

"Once they're not scalding, wanna hang in my room?"

John attempts to wiggle his eyebrows, but it just looks like an awkward face seizure.

"I promise I'll share the cookies!"

"Oh whoopee Gog damn cookies, just what I need."

You lean against the fridge, trying to look relaxed and NOT like you were freaking out because HE, John FUCKING Egbert just invited you into his room.

You clear your throat and nod.

"Fine I guess I can hang for a little bit. You better not even fucking think about making me watch some shitty Nic Cage movie though."

John laughs, and starts piling cookies into a plastic bowl.

"Wouldn't dream of it Karkat."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Wwhere'd he go? He said he'd be here, right?"

"No, he thaid he wath going to the fucking moon."

Sollux gave Eridan an icy glare. The trolls had calmed themselves after their "little" spat and had gone in search of the cancer.

"Ha ha, so funny," Eridan drawled. "Is that howw you wwon Fef ovver?"

"Oh fuck off ED. You CAN'T thtill be jealouth over that fling. You know that the ith interethted in AA now."

"Yet another filthy loww blood." Eridan said in disgust.

Right before Sollux flung back a retort, someone cleared their throat. Both trolls whipped their heads around facing the one and only, Rose Lalonde.

"Don't suppose you two are done bickering...?"

She tilted her head, lips curling into what must have been a smile.

Eridan immediately turned back to Sollux, who was still looking curiously at the seer.

"Wwe are, aren't wwe Sol?"

With a huff Sollux shrugged.

"Whatever I don't even fucking care anymore."

"Good, I have a proposition for you two. You see, me and some of the girls have become... bored. We have decided to start a little game of sorts."

"Go on," Sollux responded growing curious.

"I'm going to be blunt, so I don't have to explain all the details into making the decision. Whoever can get Mister Vantas to WILLINGLY kiss them first, wins the game. Us girls will be taking bets."

Eridan chuckled.

"Right, that's hilarious. I didn't knoww you had a funny bone in you Lalonde."

"I'm quite serious."

The aquarius and gemini's smiles faded.

"What'th in it for uth? I'm not about to incur KK'th wrath jutht becathe you guyth are bored."

"The winner will have any of us girls do their chores and work for six months."

Eridans grin slowly came back and Sollux held out his hand.

"You have a deal."