WARNING SUCKINESS LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHE WARNING ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT

AND IF YOU THINK I OWE SOUTH PARK...I'M FLATTERED, TRULLY I AM. IF I DID, WHOLE SHIT LOUD OF SHIT WOULD HAPPEN. BEBE WOULD PROBABLY BE GOD.

I'M AWARE HOW MUCH THIS SUCKS, DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

Clyde Donavan, me, had a mission.

To make Tweek Tweak kiss me.

I didn't want to kiss him, and have him freak out. So, I devised a fool-proof plan to get Tweek to kiss me. And if it went as planned, I was going to get kissed, today.

"Hey, guys! I have an awesome idea!" I said excitedly, jumping up and down in anticipation. Tweek and Craig just looked at me, one in boredom and one in fear. "We should play, truth o-!"

-Ding Dong-

I groaned in frustration as Craig went to get the door even though it was Tweek's house, since the bodacious blonde was afraid it was an axe murderer.

"It's Butters." We heard Craig come from the hall, in his damn monotone voice. Hopefully he will still help me with my rocking plan. "And he keeps blushing, it's weird."

"L-Let him in!" Tweek yelled back, head twitching to the side. He's SO cute.

"H-Hiya fellas, it was awfully nice of ya to invite me here. I-I really appreciate it g-!" Butters said walking in, face bright red and avoiding eye contact with Craig…weird.

"Quite Butters, I have a game to play! It is truth or da-!"

"You should be nicer." Craig stated, interrupting me from interrupting Butters.

"Shut up Craig!" I said, looking at the group. "Okay the game I think we should play, is truth or dare!"

The group just stared at me, blinking the only acknowledgement I'm getting. I quickly shot a look at Craig, signalling for him to agree with me.

"…..Hm? Oh, ah…THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA,CLYDE!" Craig says, unconvincingly. I just huffed turning towards the rest, "Okay! Let's play!"

FASTFORWARD

I glared at Craig, since 2 hours ago I should have had Tweek's lips on mine! But asshole, as I shall now call him, never dared him to kiss me! Stupid fucker, hehe, he could be Craig Fucker. Dude! I should write that one down!

"Hey Craig, can I talk to you man?" I asked, waving Cra-asshole, over towards Tweek's kitchen.

I waited until we were out of eye sight, till I pushed Asshole against the wall. "What the hell, dude! You were supposed to dare me to kiss Tweek already!" I hissed, glaring at him.

"Okay, okay. I'll do it now." He huffed, pushing me away and marching towards the living room. I followed, sitting down next to him.

"Okay Tweek, truth or dare?" Craig asked, looking at the boy in his creepy, no emotion, way.

"Gah, I-I don't know, man! B-Butters, you chose! I-It's too m-much pressure!" Tweek screeched, turning towards the smaller blonde.

"Oh hamburgers, um…..dare!" Butters said, rubbing his knuckles together.

"Okay, I dare you…to hump that pillow!" Craig said, pointing to one of the pillow's on Tweek's bed.

After one humping of a pillow, it was time for my turn to fuck over Super Dick-Wad Asshole. "Craig, I dare you to….kiss Butters!"

Who da man? I'm da man!

"Whatever." Craig sighed, shrugging as he crawled over to Butters, gently putting his lips to the blushing blonde's.

Fuck that asshole! "A-And…you have to make-out!"

Ass-hat started to moving his lips against Butters', grabbing him around his waist and pulling him into his lap.

Shit-Fucker! "With Tongue!"

Shit Fucker opened his mouth, opening Butters' mouth and slipping his tongue into the others. I watched as Butters let Shit-Bag take control, not even trying for dominance. Hand's nervously staying on Bag of Shit's chest, while Fucker's roamed under his shirt, exploring his body.

"And Hump!" I yelled, pointing at Ass-Shit. He laid Butters down, starting to grind his hip's against Butters', speed getting faster so he was soon thrusting his hip's into Butters' skinny jean covered hip's.

That fucker is no fair!

"NOW FUCK HIM!" I screamed, face red in anger.

When Craig Fucker started going for Butters' zipper, Tweek jumped up quickly. "T-That's enough! Gnk! T-Too Much Pressure! C-Clyde, why -Gah- d-did you say that!"

"I-I just…WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! C-CRAIG'S A-AN ASS-HAT A-AND-! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU WERE S-SUPPOSED TO-! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I started sobbing like a baby, throwing my head up and closing my eyes.

I heard someone talking as I sobbed, pitifully.

"G-Go, -Nngk- I-I'll handle him!"

-tik tik tik tik tik-

-Bang-

-tik tik tik tik tik tik tik-

"C-Clyde, are you -Gah- o-okay?" I felt a tissue rubbing against my face, wiping away my snot and tears. I just sniffled, nodding.

"W-What's then -Ngk- m-matter?" Tweek asked, finally done with cleaning my face.

"You haven't kissed me yet!" I yelled in his face, making him topple backwards.

"GAH! W-What!"

"You were supposed to kiss me, but Craig never dared you to! So now, we haven't kissed, and Craig is probably fucking Butters on your couch!" I ranted throwing my arms up for emphasis.

"GAH! M-MY COUCH!" Tweek screeched, trying to make a break for it. I quickly grabbed him, pulling him into my arms and wrapping my legs around his waist.

"THAT'S what you care about!" I screamed, pulling him closer to me.

"T-Token and Craig -Ngk- t-told me a long time ago!" He yelled, struggling to get free. "A-And my parent's w-will sell me to white s-slavery if t-they get stuff on the -Ngk- couch!"

"You knew!"

"G-God Clyde! I-I'm paranoid, n-not stupid!"

"Then why didn't you tell me!"

"B-Because I l-like you, a-and I wasn't ready to -Ngk- t-tell you!" I just sat there, Tweek now still with his face going red. It was really hot, and I could smell the coffee…his hair smells like vanilla…..Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

"Y-You just s-sniffed my -Gah- hair, d-didn't you?"

"Ya."

"P-Please tell -Ngk- me t-that's your phone."

"Sorry man, your hot."

"…"

"Wanna make out?"

"GAH!"

"Is that a yes?"

"H-HELP -NGK- R-RAPE!"

"It's not rape if you like it!" I then got a foot in my face.

"Sorry I'm late, but Wendy wouldn't shut up." Fuck Token, fuck Craig, HELL, fuck Butters to, and Wendy! "And Clyde, get the hell off Tweek."

"Hell to the n-GNK!"

KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS

"I caunt heel my noshe" I groaned, swaying as Tweek played nurse. I had tissues shoved up my nose, stopping the bleeding. And Tweek was trying to get a bag of ice for me.

"Gah! S-Sorry, man! Gnk! Too much pressure!" He screeched, slamming the ice bag to my face.

"Ish okay, it shtill 'urts though." I mumbled, pouting under the ice.

"GAH! SORRY!" He screeched, getting more frazzled by the second…It was so hot. I just smiled at him, patting his shoulder encase physco bitch Token came in, black asshole. "C-Can I make it -Gah- hurt less or something, man! Sweet Jesus, it bleed a lot!"

"You 'an do one hing?" I said, finally getting an idea. I shall get my Tweek!

"What?" His face was so eager, and I knew he'd do it. I'm a genius!

"My mumshy all way kishesh it 'etter!" I say, and I waited for him to dive forward….why isn't he moving forward?

"I-Im not as stupid as I -NGK- look." Tweek grumbled, glaring at me. I just looked away, trying hard not to pout in disappointment. My head jerked up when I heard his next question. "Truth or dare?"

I looked at him, but then mumbled my answer, still pissed about hurting my nose. "Dare."

"K-K-K-KISS ME! AGH, TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" I automatically reached out to stop him from pulling at his hair, though he'd still look hot….KISS HIM!

I'M DA MAN! I have seduced him! BOYA!

Be cool, be cool. Deeeeeeeeeeeeep breathes.

I'm calm, I'm calm…..Jesus he's like a vibrator right now, the way he's shaking. I slowly leaned in, watching him. His eyes were clenched tight, his lips stuck out funnily.

Hell to him!

I smashed my lips to his, moving them roughly against his. I savoured the feel of him pressing back, his hands clenching onto my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him as close to me as possible.

I smirked as his knees shook, them collapsing under him. I pulled away, waiting to gloat about my awesome kissing, because you know it is!

…..That ass.

He's unconscious.

KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS

"WAKE UP YOU LITTLE PIECE OF HOT ASS!"

Craig whistled, listening to Clyde's feeble attempt to wake up Tweek. Token was in the armchair, and Butters was stretched out on top of Craig, both naked on the couch with a blanket over them.

"O-Oh, poor Clyde!" Butters cooed, lightly tracing circles on Craig's chest.

"I owe you five bucks." Craig said, Token nodding.

"I don't need it, not with the money this is going to get on youtube."

BAD ENDING, I KNOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME. TRUST. I'M AWARE HOW BADLY THIS SUCKS.