Another POTC rip-off. Daniel/Vala, mostly pre-relationship and UST, but this time I add a new element: Tomin. coughNorricough Spoilers for POTC: AWE.
There is line thiefage from all three movies. And crazily enough could be construed as having spoilers for "Ark of Truth", though I didn't mean it that way.
Dedicated to Kales, who supports this craziness of mine, and prods my bunnies without even knowing it.And because I hope she still enjoys it even though it's been ages since I hinted I might write this to her. Also major thank to Stef, who beta'd this for me months ago. hugs
Title comes from a Spanish song by Mana, "Rayando el Sol".
Flash backs in italics.
Scratching the Sun
Everything had happened so fast. Life happened so fast.
Sometimes she felt lost in it. Adrift.
§
Vala felt somebody shaking her.
"Lady, lady, are you alright?" She heard muddily, from somewhere above. She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids hurt. Sluggishly, she managed to blink a couple of times, before she could focus on the figure above her. Everything was blurry. Concussion, said the almost aware voice in her head.
The figure was a dark blur, but it looked male and held concern for her.
With the small amount of strength that she had, she lifted her hand to touch it's cheek before her eyes drifted shut, " 'an'el…"
Tomin looked at the woman that had fallen from the sky. Had the Ori had finally answered his prayers? Had they bestowed upon him somebody to love? Had his loneliness finally ended?
Tomin looked at the woman that lay peacefully on the ground. Tomin looked at the woman who fell from the sky – his angel.
§
Vala sat against the wall in the room looking out at subspace – she missed the stars. At least with the stars she felt like she had some tangibility in the universe, but in subspace she felt messy, lost. If she were ever to get lost here, nobody would ever find her. Vanished into the fabric of space and time.
In the blackness of space, she might get lost, but somewhere, somehow, somebody would find her. Stars were seen long after their death, people looked at them to guide them all over the galaxy, and maybe a star would guide somebody to her.
She would be found.
Right now, looking out at subspace, she was reminded how lost she had been. Even though she had never consciously acknowledged it, it was fact – for years she had been lost. In the galaxy, in herself, in life.
Behind her the door hissed and opened.
He stood in the doorway, she knew it was him; she always knew when it was him. And he always seemed to find her, even when she didn't want him too, even when there were no stars to guide him.
§
The mirror showed a dark haired woman, with blue-grey eyes, and a round belly on a normally slim figure. It was the perfect picture of a wife. Wife, married, she couldn't believe she was married. She remembered a time when this had been her dream. Married and happy to have a man that loved her, and would love her forever.
Gods, she had been so young, so naïve. Happy just didn't happen for her anymore.
Vala had sighed when Tomin left for work, his leg had been hurting him more than usual today, and she had tried to convince him to stay home. But ever the faithful follower, he went to his work. It made her want to cry and hit him. He was such a gentle man, an honest man, but every day he when would come home to accompany her to Prostration, she wanted to yell the truth at him and cry. Pregnancy was driving her crazy.
She often wondered how he would react if she ever told him the truth. The baby wasn't his. She wasn't his angel. She wanted to go home. The Ori were liars, just selfish beings who wanted power. Everyday she thought to tell him the truth and every day she never did. Once upon a time she would have, back when she was naïve enough to believe love was enough. But the world was not like that. Love was nothing without trust, and he wouldn't, couldn't, trust her if she told him the truth. And she didn't know if she trusted him enough to tell him.
"Sweetheart how was your day?" She heard as Tomin entered the house, his limp more pronounced, but he was smiling lovingly at her. Happy and married to a man that loved her. At least one of the two was true.
§
He didn't talk from the doorway. He didn't announce his presence and barely made a sound. She was glad for it. Sometimes silence said everything words couldn't express. He walked into the room and stood by her. Equally silent, he watched the jet stream of subspace with her.
But unlike most days, his presence made her hate herself, because his presence meant she had failed. She failed. Again.
She was always messing up, getting a tear in her new dress, mud on the sheets, looking too pretty on the wrong day, going back to her village, thrown in jail for not quite on the level naquahdah, stealing the wrong ship, coming clean and getting thrown in jail again, thinking she could save the day, thinking she could save him. She was always wrong, always messing up. She would have killed Sam in this room had she picked the wrong life sign.
A black cat for all that crossed her path.
Burying her head in the cradle of her arms, she berated herself, but didn't cry. Next to her he didn't do anything, except moved to sit against the wall. He didn't touch her, but she could feel his presence, the physicality of his body near hers. She was glad, at this moment she could not stand to be touched—she would poison him, like she did everything else. But she still needed him there, wanted him there, without him she felt lost and she could not stand it anymore.
They sat in stillness.
§
He had defected. Even as he stood next to her, Vala still couldn't believe it. Tomin had defected. The part of her that was happy, was only equaled by the part of her that shook in dread.
Right now they were trying to convince the IOA to allow Tomin to join them on the mission. Daniel was speaking, and she understood all the more why this man was a renowned diplomat around the galaxy.
Smiling at Daniel, she fiddled with the rhinestone dog tags that Sam had given to her. Months ago Vala had "allowed" herself to Sam's extra set – they were cute. Sam hadn't been angry, but said that it was against regulations, and if worse came to worse, it could cause more than a little confusion. Later, Sam had presented her with her own sparkly tags, one with her name written in script, the other with a small-embedded compass. She hadn't known how Sam knew, but she hugged her friend fiercely when the gift had been present to her.
"It is a curious thing. There was a time I would have wanted you to look like that while thinking about me."
Surprised, Vala turned her head towards Tomin. Her husband. "I don't know what you mean? How am I looking?" But even as she confusedly denied Tomin's questions, part of her was all too aware of what he was talking about.
"I do not blame you, he is a great man. I saw him speak once." Tomin ignored Vala's look of confusion and continued, "I had heard of a new Prior that the Orici had brought into the fold. An extraordinary man, who could speak the word of Origin as if the Ori themselves had graced us with their presence, and blessed his words. After our encounter, I… I felt such disappointment with the Priors and felt compelled to see this Prior speak. He was… he… he spoke – he speaks, so honestly, from the heart. So filled with passion and valor that I once again started to believe, to want to believe, and then I realized who it was and I understood." Tomin paused and looked to where Daniel was arguing for his rights, "I understand. When I heard that he had strayed from the path, that he had disappeared, I knew why. I'm not sure how I knew, but if such a man could not believe that the Ori were real, and would go so far to stop them, then how could I believe? That's when I knew. And I knew that he had gone back to you, and was glad for it."
Vala looked at Tomin and felt tears burn in her eyes. He was her husband, and he was telling her that he accepted the affection, the deeper affection, that she held for another man. Taking his hand, they heard Daniel, not noticing the glance he gave them.
"He might have followed the Ori, but he was deceived, like many others in this galaxy have been. He is a good man."
§
She didn't deserve such men in her life. Good, great men, who stood by her when everything seemed to be falling apart.
Tomin was the only reason she had managed to survive as long as she did in the Ori galaxy, she wasn't so self-confident and smug that she believed that she would have been allowed to live as long as she did if it wasn't for the fact that Tomin had married her. He had given her as close to a home and safety as he had been able too. It hadn't been his fault that she feared for her life everyday she had spent there. In fact, it was only because of him that on some days, she could believe that everything would eventually be okay.
And Daniel.
Daniel.
He had allowed her the chance to make something of her life again. Before him, she had been an opportunist, a con woman, a vagrant, dishonest and at times callous. She had been someone, something, she hadn't been proud of. Something she would have never thought herself capable of becoming. But he had changed everything in one job gone wrong. And when she had found him again (curiosity had always been her greatest vice) she hadn't known it, but he would give back meaning to her life.
Sitting next to her, he gave meaning to the moment. A meaning she was afraid to face alone.
§
Daniel stared at her. Their eyes were locked in exhaustion, familiarity, affection, and trust.
They had just managed to take over an Ori ship. Now, with the upgrades on the Odyssey and their own Ori ship, which Sam was configuring to fly without the need of a Prior at the helm, they had gained a great advantage in this war. Of course, it hadn't been an easy fight. Daniel and her were both badly bruised, and she had a couple of cuts on her hand and face. Tired, Daniel walked over to her and brushed her hair away, checking the cut by her cheek.
His thumb gently traced over the cut and she hissed.
"Sorry."
"It's okay, lets me know I'm still alive. I am, aren't I?"
Smiling, he nodded. "You are. Me?"
Vala gave him a once over and a playful grin, "I'd say so, darling."
He rolled his eyes, but his smile never left. He caressed the skin by the cut.
"Don't stop." Her voice soft, leaning into his hand.
"Vala." Adrenaline was leaving, and only left them with each other.
His hand was still by her cheek, and her hand rested gently on his arm. Both were exhausted and on their last leg, they had all been fighting for days trying to secure this ship, this planet. Vala was ready to drop and Daniel felt the same, but they didn't, not yet. More was still to be done, but in this moment they felt overwhelmed and tired. Her blue grey eyes stared into his. Unaware, they moved closer to each other. Vala's forehead was almost resting against Daniel's when Cam's voice came in through the radio.
"Time to amscray, gang."
It was like a gunshot had fired through the room. Daniel looked at Vala, and both remembered who was waiting for them with Cam.
"We should return to the Daedalus." Vala lowered her eyes.
He stepped back and his hand drifted from her cheek. "Your husband will want to know you're safe."
Vala swallowed the lump that had just grown in her throat and nodded. Together, they walked towards where they'd meet Cam and the others, the space between them infinite and narrow at once.
§
Over the intercom came Col. Caldwell's voice announcing that they were dropping out of hyperspace. Vala lifted her head from the cradle of her arms and watched as the blue river of subspace melted away into the inky blackness of space. Her eyes found the first star they could and she let out an unconscious sigh.
"You know, Sam's been worried about you. You've barely talked to anyone." Daniel said, leaning his head close to hers. She smiled softly and half turned to face him. His face was hidden in the shadows that the consul cast, but his eyes penetrated the darkness, and she knew what he was saying.
"I'm s-"
Daniel cut her off before she could even finish, "It's okay." His hand slowly reached out, still trying to gauge if now was the time, and when she rested her full weight on the wall, unhesitant he took her hand.
"We need to go."
Vala nodded, as they left the room, she squeezed his hand and felt him squeeze hers back.
§
The plan hadn't worked. Not like they'd wanted. Vala looked at the remaining crew of the Daedalus who shared the holding cell along with her on the Ori ship. Caldwell stood unapologetically irate, not enjoying being in Ori hands.
At least the rest of the team hadn't been with them when they had gotten captured. Sam, Daniel, Teal'c and Cam had been on the planet when the Ori warriors and Prior had taken the ship. Tomin had been with her and taken from her right away. Worried about her team and husband, she paced.
"How do you know he didn't betray us?" Caldwell asked, his voice low and accusing. Vala didn't even have to wonder who he was talking about, ever since they had been thrown into the cell, the same question had been asked, more than once. And each time Vala fought not to slap Caldwell. Tomin hadn't betrayed her. She knew that, like she knew which Colombian roast was Daniel's favorite.
"He didn't. He wouldn't."
"How do you know that?"
"Because he's a good man."
A few seconds later they heard the door open, Caldwell signaled some of his men to get ready, but they wouldn't need too. Tomin stood at the door.
"Come with me. Quickly."
"What are you doing?" Caldwell asked.
Tomin looked at Vala, "Choosing a side."
§
The debrief was everything Vala expected. There were a lot of questions as to what they would do next. Ideas on how to use the new technology and knowledge they had gained. The IOA would be sending Woolsey in tomorrow the general announced, and then they had been dismissed for the night.
Tomin's name had never even come up.
She left the room and headed straight for her quarters. She knew that the rest of the team's eyes followed her as she left, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She needed to be away. To be alone.
Ideally, had she not been in the SGC, she would have run and run and run until her body would have been too exhausted to move, think or even feel, but they had to stay on base tonight. She bypassed the gym. The fleeting thought of spending hours hitting a punching bag came to mind, but left as quickly as it came. Cam and Teal'c would mostly likely want to join her if she went. She didn't want too see them, and the pity their eyes would hold.
Alone. She didn't want to see anybody. Nobody. Except the one person she couldn't. It shouldn't have been him.
In her room, she paced for minutes that felt like hours. The room felt too small, too big, she felt too small and too big, the world was too narrow but too wide. She could hide anywhere, but felt exposed everywhere. She wanted to feel anything else, but hated all her feelings. She needed out. Out of the room, of her head, of her thoughts, of her skin. Just out. Making her way to the showers, she stalked down the halls, pushing anybody who got in her way.
The showers were empty. Stripping and stepping into the nearest one, she turned the hot water all the way up. It burned her skin, and she relished in it. Her whole body was turning a hard pink, but she didn't care. She just needed to feel anything other than what she currently did. Finally, when the water could no longer keep up what she wanted, she turned it off and changed back into her clothes.
She walked back to her room, skin pink, hair wet, heart hurt, eyes foggy, muscles heavy. She still hadn't cried. Opening the door to her room, she wasn't surprised to see Daniel there.
§
They rushed to the ring room. On their way, Tomin told them that he had connected with the team on the planet and that they would be waiting for them on the Daedalus.
Vala smiled; of course the team got the ship back.
"Do not go to the temple on the planet, they will be waiting for you there." Tomin mentioned to Caldwell, who nodded, as they began to activate the rings. Unfortunately, it was then they heard voices and footsteps coming from behind them.
"The prisoners have escaped!!"
The next second, a group of Ori warriors entered the room and began shooting. Tomin pushed Vala out of the way and shot back at his former allies.
"Go!"
Vala felt herself being pulled back, "Come with us! Come with me."
A few crewmembers managed to acquire some staff weapons and joined in the shooting.
"Go! I will follow." Tomin repeated as he tried to hold back the oncoming Ori warriors."
Vala looked at him and felt her eyes blur. "You're lying." Pushing away from the Caldwell, who had been dragging her back to the rings, she made her way to Tomin. But he reached her first and pushed her back to Caldwell.
"Our paths have been intertwined, but never joined, my angel." He laid one last kiss on her lips. One last kiss between husband and wife, and then he pushed her into the rings, her necklace hooked on his armor ripped from her throat, and he pressed the last button to activate the rings.
As the rings fell, Vala saw the last moments of her husband's life as he was struck down by several staff blasts.
"TOMIN!"
§
In the room, Vala and Daniel stared at each other. Vala thought to kick him out, but she wasn't sure she could speak without falling apart. She wanted to be alone, but couldn't stand to feel as adrift as she did. She had no more compass to guide her anymore.
Daniel looked at her. She looked lost in her own room, but he knew she was really lost in herself. He could see she was trying not to break. She had been trying to stay together for days, ever since Tomin died.
Looking at her, he didn't need any incentive to take her in his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, her own arms hung numb at her sides for a couple seconds before they wrapped around him. She clutched him and he could feel her shuddering breaths on his neck.
"I'm lost, Daniel." The words came out desperate and hopeless.
"No, no you're not." He said, tightening his arms around her as much as he could without hurting her. "You're here." Exhaling deeply, Vala tightened her own arms around him.
"He was a good man." She whispered the words he had said a week ago.
"Yes, he was." He agreed, tucking his head closer to hers.
In Daniel's arms, at Daniel's words, Vala finally let herself go. Tears fell quietly from her eyes, and she buried her face in his neck. She felt his arms hold her impossibly tighter, as his hands smoothed soothing circles on her back.
Vala finally felt found.
She might have lost her compass, but Daniel would let her share his.