Rating: Teen
Warning: brief mention of corrective rape, mention of non-sexual kinks/fetishes used to abuse minors.
Disclaimer: I do not own Voltron: Legendary Defender and make no profit from this work.
Shiro likes to think he's well versed in queer identities. Adam and him are both lucky enough to have families pretty accepting of them and the Garrison, for a para-military school, has an almost surprisingly strong LGBT+ support network.
After they take in Keith, the two assume they'll have a good handle on things if he feels the need to ever come out to them. As Shiro should have guessed from a kid who made his acquaintance by stealing his car, it wouldn't be that simple.
About a year after Keith started living with them and enrolled in the Garrison junior cadet program, Keith storms in after classes, a letter crumpled in his hand. Shiro notices but decides against saying anything. Naturally Adam can't resist.
"Is that from your sweetheart?" And he drags out the vowels in the last word, making it sound even cutesier.
Keith's head shoots up, looking as if he was just punched, eyes wide and hurt. Adam startles back, clearly not expecting such a strong response. Shiro looks between the two as tension builds, concern for his brother growing. Before either can speak up, Keith stomps off, slamming his bedroom door with a bang loud enough to make them flinch.
Shiro and Adam slowly turn to each other. The latter blinks and pipes up "I guess it wasn't then." Later that evening Adam cooks Keith his favorite Korean dish to make amends and none of them bring up the letter for the rest of the night.
Of course the two want to breach the subject again but are unsure how to without setting off Keith. It ends up getting pushed off until life takes over and everyone promptly forgets.
A couple years pass when the issue is thrust upon them again. Keith is sitting on the livingroom couch in front of the TV, engrossed in a documentary about the origins of Capoeira. Shiro and Adam are in the kitchen, voices low.
"He hasn't mentioned the dance once and it's right around the corner."
"I know but...I don't want to pressure Keith either. You know how upset he gets. Remember when you teased him before about the letter?"
Adam rolls his eyes. "Yes, thank you for reminding me. But honestly, don't you think it's important we bring it up now? What if he likes someone but doesn't know how to approach then? Or someone comes to him and he doesn't know how to handle it?"
Shiro sighs and rubs his eyes. He gets where Adam is coming from. It makes sense to have this conversation now. Even if it turns out Keith just doesn't like dances (which he's sure is the most likely issue here) at least they can help him learn about dating and.
And.
"Adam." He can't believe they didn't realize this sooner. "We never had the talk with Keith."
"Huh? Wait, what talk-oh. Ah shit. What the fuck Takashi? It didn't even occur to me. To us, two grown ass adults."
"Alright, it's alright. We got this. We'll just, you know, wing it or something. Can't be too stiff, right?" And without thinking he finger guns, then cringes at the side eye Adam gives him.
Adam grabs his phone off the counter and makes to leave, which has Shiro nearly pitching forward in his haste to stop him. "Whoa whoa wait a minute! Now?"
"Why not now? We obviously know what sex is, and how dating works. There's no point in putting it off."
"I'm not saying put it off Adam but we still need to prep for this before we just, just dive right in. What if he has a question we can't answer or we give him some really bad information?"
"Smartphones exist," and he waves his for emphasis. "We can just-"
The TV volume suddenly spikes to critical mass levels and both men wince at the volume. It occurs to Shiro that their voices may have shot well past whisper into 'loud enough for Keith to hear from the next room.'
"No point in waiting now." They both nod then approach Keith and effectively flank him on either side of the couch, cringing as the volume becomes even more unbearable. Adam snatches the remote from Keith and hits the power button.
"Hey I was watching that!" Keith looks ready to boil over and Shiro quickly comes in. "Listen buddy, we'll let you finish watching later but we really need to talk to you about something important."
Keith crosses his arms. "If it's about what you guys were talking about in the kitchen, then no thanks."
"Awesome to hear, you don't have a choice."
"What? That's not fair!"
"While I don't agree with how Adam phrased it, we do need to have this conversation."
A tense pause and Shiro hopes that Keith can just please not fight him on this, so it can be done and over with. "Fine, whatever," he all but growls out.
Shiro ignores the tone, just grateful he's at least cooperating. This isn't any easier on him but it has to happen for Keith to be safe out there. Adam and him are lucky enough that nothing went wrong already. They can't afford to push it.
"Okay so. Um. Have you ever gone on a date before? Even just a casual one? We won't be mad if you did and didn't tell us."
Keith's shoulders tense and he chews on his lower lip before spitting out a "No."
Shiro lets out a breath he isn't aware of holding, clasping his hand on Keith's coiled up shoulder. "Hey that's nothing to be ashamed of. That's why we're having this talk now.
"Now let's say you have a crush or interest in someone. You know, butterflies in your stomach, can't stop thinking about them. That sort of thing." He winks at Keith and nudges him with his elbow. But Keith just gives him a stiff shrug in return and keeps looking down.
Pushing aside his worry at the response (that combo never fails to get him to crack a smile or roll his eyes), he continues. "The best way to handle that sort of feeling toward someone else is to approach them respectfully and ask if they would be interested in going out. Do not use pick up lines."
"Pick up lines are for betas."
"Your commentary has truly enriched this discussion."
Adam ignores him. "And don't be a bitch to them if they reject you."
"Could you at least word it differently-"
"Can we like, move on already? I don't, I don't really care about all this stuff."
"I see, so eager to move on to the juicy bits-"
"Adam please." Shiro rearranges himself so he can maintain eye contact with Keith. Or at least attempt to as Keith refuses to look at him. His arms have uncrossed themselves but his hands are now clutching the fabric of his sweatpants.
Shiro sympathizes. This conversation was awkward enough for him with his own parents, let alone having to sit through the talk with two clueless and barely adult men. But he still wants to make it at least a decent and informative experience for Keith. And while Adam is a bit grating Shiro knows it's his way of lightening the mood, showing that he doesn't think of love and sex as a big deal. The polar opposite of his own upbringing.
"We both care about you and just want you to be safe when you eventually start dating and uh...more." Another flinch. "Right, we'll take this slow then. So you start dating someone and you realize you really like them. That it's getting serious between you two. You may want to do things like kiss them, hold hands, and embrace them. And that's completely normal! Just make sure the other person is onboard too."
He stops here, not knowing how to continue. It's not as if he can just teach Keith how to kiss, other than the good old practice on your arm trick. It all comes through experience. "Just-just, you know, respect each other's boundaries and make sure to talk things through. About your feelings and how you're making each other uh...feel. Yeah."
"Okay I'm going to stop you right there Takashi. This is getting painful." And he hates to admit it but he's grateful for the intervention.
"Now before we move on to sex with someone else, let's first talk about some self-loving." Keith mumbles an "oh joy" and Shiro mentally snatches back his gratitude. "You probably know it by the common term 'jerking off'" - Shiro feels a part of himself shrivel and die - "but it's technically called masturbation."
Keith is back to crossing his arms again, slowly unclenching and clenching his jaw. Shiro looks between them and sees Adam's furrowed eyebrows, the only tell that he's worried on his otherwise grinning face. "It's important to know how to make yourself feel good or else you can't tell your partner how to.
"Obviously you do it somewhere private, unless you're into that sort of thing. But don't just whip it out in public either since that's technically a crime-" Shiro loudly clears his throat, hoping that Adam will get the message and please move on.
"Oh right, whoops. Well for now pick a place you won't be bothered, like your bedroom or the shower or something. Make sure to have plenty of lubrication - KY's a good brand - or you'll have a bad time." Adam is watching Keith, eyes intense, and Shiro realizes he's picking up on the same odd behavioral patterns. "I can go over the basics of doing it properly if you're worried about getting it right." Keith still doesn't respond. Thinking back, he's barely spoken this entire time. No awkward questions or concerns. Nothing.
"Keith, buddy. Is something wrong? You know it's okay to tell us how you feel. We just want to help you."
Keith nearly speaks over him, his voice whisper quiet and shaking. "Can we, I m-mean, uh I don't-" and he cuts himself off, swallowing. Shiro and Adam remain silent, wanting to give him ample time to express himself. "I um...I-I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Shiro is pensive. It's normal for most people involved in these discussions to be uncomfortable, yes, but the way he's reacting is as if his fight-or-flight response has been triggered. And, with a twinge of guilt, realizes he's been giving out those signals the entire time. But what could cause such a strong reaction to even the mention of intimacy?
"You think you could explain why? I don't - I mean, I'm not saying anything is wrong. I just want to understand is all."
Keith rakes his hands through his hair and looks to Adam, who smiles softly and squeezes his knee. Keith gives him a small smile in return and Shiro can't help the swell of pride in his chest. Three years ago this wouldn't have been possible. It amazes him how much Keith has grown to trust them both and he wants to honor that trust.
Meanwhile Keith looks back at Shiro, barely meeting his eyes. "It's. It's like. You know all that stuff you and Adam were just talking about. Dating and having a crush and...and...um…"
"Jerking off?"
Keith's face explodes in bright red and Shiro feels himself wheezing through his nose.
"I was helping, Jesus." And Adam has the nerve to throw his arms in the air.
An awkward silence follows which Keith breaks with a soft "uh yeah, that. I never, you know, felt that? And I don't want to. It...um. It's kinda grosses me out."
There's more silence as Shiro attempts to digest what Keith just told them. He has to hold back from blurting out a kneejerk response or from asking a stupid question such as "are you sure?" As if Keith hasn't been agonizing over it and somehow doesn't know his own wants.
Instead he steps back and considers his options. He doesn't know what Keith is experiencing. He's never even heard of it. Of course he knows that some people don't date or have sex often but he's never met anyone who never feels the urge to or doesn't want to do those things at all.
Shiro's stomach drops. He doesn't know what this is. What can he say, how can he help? Keith is looking at him, expression dropping with each passing second. He opens his mouth, not knowing what will come out but needing to say something.
"Fuck it, I'm searching this." And Adam pulls out his smartphone and types in something rapidly. Keith peaks over and looks at whatever Adam is punching in. Shiro leans over as well, "whatever" turning out to be a search engine entry:
What is it called when someone doesn't want to date or have sex?
"Isn't that a little too long? And on the nose?" Shiro wonders sometimes if Keith just reaches in his mind and scoops out his exact thoughts.
Adam shrugs carelessly. "Eh, it's fine. I'll just modify it when I need to." Then mumbles to himself at the search results. Shiro overhears phrases like "really Becky?" and "another insipid top ten list" and decides not to ask.
"Ah, found something! Here's a website on something called 'asexuality.'"
"Oh, like a sponge," Shiro answers automatically. Sponges don't mate with other sponges, right? He thinks, proud of himself until he sees the expressions on Adam and Keith's faces.
"Why a sponge Takashi?"
"Are sponges even known for that?"
Shiro shrugs and splays his hands helplessly. "I don't know, it just came out."
Adam holds Keith's face from behind. "Does Keith look like a sponge to you?"
"Do I look like a sponge to you?"
Shiro sighs, thinking back and wishing he could grab his words and eat them. "No, you don't Keith. Sorry, that was stupid of me."
"As long as you know. Now let's see. According to this site, an asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. That sound about right Keith?"
Keith crosses his arms, eyebrow furrowed then smoothing out as he takes on a more thoughtful expression. Both men wait for him to come to a decision. "I, I mean I think that...uh...fits me? Like, I don't want to to do those things with other people. O-or to myself." The last part is whispered, jaw clenched.
Shiro squeezes Keith's shoulder. "Buddy, look at me. Please?" He obliges and Shiro continues. "Listen, I'm sorry for not handling this the best way. But I do want you to feel comfortable with yourself by finding your own identity, just like Adam and I have. And we both want to help you do that. Okay?"
He takes a deep breath and nods his head, a tiny smile on his face and relief washes over Shiro.
"If we're finally done with all the sap, why don't we get back to business." But the smile on Adam's face betrays him. He scrolls through his phone again. "So while asexuality obviously covers sex, I can't help but notice it doesn't really discuss dating, except to say that some asexuals do it. Which you don't want to, right?"
They both laugh at Keith's firm no and Adam types in something else. "Okay so most of these results are stupid. Oh, here's something! This person wrote a piece on not dating and being happy about it. No terms but it's good to find others who share your sentiment."
"Do you really think there's a word for it though?" Keith is looking over the article now. "Maybe she just doesn't want to date right now and I'm just weird."
"I'm sure Adam will find something."
And after some more typing on his part, his face lights up. "Keith. You're aromantic. So that means...you experience little to no romantic attraction to others."
Keith blinks at him and bites on his bottom lip. "So I guess that means I'm both asexual and aromantic? Oh wow. That's me. That's really me then." He stretches out his words, as if chewing on each syllable. The tension slowly bleeds from his face and shoulders.
Shiro can't help but beam at his brother. It reminds him of his own relief when he realized he was gay. And that he wasn't alone, that actual terms exist to describe his identity. Before he can stop himself, he wraps Keith up in a bear hug, which his brother melts into after his initial stiffness. Shiro can feel the smile on his face turn into a grin when Adam hugs Keith from behind.
The three enjoy the gentle moment until Adam abruptly breaks it off, citing that he needs to start dinner and "you two can be sappy together." Shiro doesn't miss the blush creeping on his face.
The next day Matt catches Shiro in the instructor's lounge, as the latter grades through a recent pop quiz.
"Oof. I feel bad for anyone working with a pilot who thinks 10,000 times 10 is 10,010."
Shiro, who has a mini heart attack at the first sound of his best friend's voice, hurries to cover the test papers as Matt looks from over his shoulder. "Do you mind? The student just probably got a little nervous and screwed up."
Matt snorts. "Alright, I'll remember that the next time you co-pilot with someone who gets nervous and miscalculates while flying through the asteroid belt." Shiro rolls his eyes and Matt laughs, sitting on the couch next to him. "But seriously, you look tense. Everything okay?"
Shiro almost blurts out an automatic "yeah" but a sudden thought catches his mind. He recalls both the conversation yesterday and searching on his tablet between classes today. While the results were informative, there's no personal connection. Keith could be armed with all the knowledge in the world but if he meets someone in real life who can connect with him, it'll at least ebb away at any feelings of loneliness.
With Matt's wide network of friends, maybe he knows someone like Keith or at least knows someone who knows someone? With that decision made Shiro takes a breath. "Actually, Adam and I had a talk with Keith yesterday. We were worried about him, at first because of the dance and then because we realized he never showed interest in anyone. So we looked into it and found-"
He pauses for a moment. Is it okay to out Keith like this? Shiro is pretty sure Matt would accept his brother no matter what. But Matt and Keith are on friendly terms as well and he isn't sure if Keith is comfortable with him knowing so soon.
"If you're worried about me hassling Keith about his orientation. First off, I'd be an asshole and you should totally cut me off if I did that. And second, I'm not an asshole and I can help, so just tell me already."
Shiro cracks a smile despite himself. "Isn't that circular logic?"
"Yeah, and? I'm still right."
"Okay, okay fine. You're right. And thanks." He runs a hand through his bangs. "Well, after we did some digging, we realized that Keith is aromantic and asexual. So. I was...I wanted to ask if you know anything about it. Or know someone like him, maybe?"
Matt is quiet, even after Shiro finishes and a cold panic begins to set in his stomach. Then Matt's face splits into a wide grin. "Wow, that's awesome! Nice to finally meet someone like me."
That's not what Shiro expects to hear. "Wh-what? You are? But I thought you were pan?"
Matt chooses this moment to lean his back on Shiro's side. "Yeah but I'm also demi. So I only get attracted to people I form an emotional connected with. Which makes me aspec like Keith, or on the aromantic or asexual spectrum."
"Aspec...aro ace...okay got it, thanks."
"Are you taking notes? Jeez you're a fuckin' nerd." Matt draps himself over Shiro's lap, and he's forced to lift his tablet and pen in the air.
"First, pot meet kettle. Second, what's wrong with taking notes?"
"Is Keith free now?" He doesn't even hide his question evasion and Shiro lets him get away with it. "Yeah he's at my place with Adam."
"Awesome, I'll head over there. Got a lot to teach my new pupil." Shiro rolls his eyes but grins, happy that Keith has someone to relate to. Especially if that someone is as good a choice as Matt.
"Since he's completely aro and ace, you think I could mold him into a homme fatale? It'd be hilarious watching him seduce and then blue ball everyon-"
Shiro pushes him off his lap and Matt hits the floor with a yelp of pain.
After a long day of teaching, tutoring, grading, and preparing lesson plans for next week, Shiro wants nothing more than to lay in his bed and collapse for a year. He opens the door to Adam and his place, finding his boyfriend on Keith's left and his best friend on his right as the three pour over a tablet.
Adam's leg is bouncing and his hands are clutching the tablet in a death grip, two very obvious indicators that he's pissed. Matt's skittish, face pinched as he adjusts his glasses. Coupled with Keith's crossed arms and him rubbing his forefinger and thumb together, Shiro pieces that the three are viewing something troubling and suddenly his fatigue is pushed to the background.
"That's, that's really awful. I didn't even know that could happen."
"Don't worry Keith. Anyone thinks of even breathing wrong in your direction and they'll deal with me."
"Oh snap, Mama Bear Adam is coming out." And the joke falls flat with a laugh that's too forced to be genuine.
It's not until Shiro pulls up a chair from the corner table and sits in front of the couch that the other three take notice of his entrance. He gets two "Shiros" and a "Takashi" before he greets them. "I'm almost afraid to ask but what are you guys reading?"
Adam hesitates, then wordlessly hands over the tablet. Shiro accepts and finds an extremely disturbing article on corrective rape displayed on the screen. Reading through it is sickening and he feels flares of rage boil his stomach over at the thought of people willing to hurt Keith like that, just to "fix him."
"This wasn't the only thing we found either." Adam's voice pulls Shiro from his spiraling thoughts. "There's plenty of general ignorance from both regular idiots and medical practitioners-"
"Not to mention Keith'll be sure to get his fair share of nasty joke and remarks just by admitting he doesn't want to date or have sex." Matt finishes for Adam. Shiro looks back at Keith, who still has his arms tightly crossed and eyes trained on the floor. He can't blame him. He knows firsthand how terrifying it is finding out that an intrinsic part of yourself, something you can't control, puts you in danger. But there's also a slight nagging at the back of his mind, that something else is on his brother's mind.
Adam rubs his eyes and lets out a breath. "We'll make sure to go through an appropriate sex ed then. And not just sex acts either." Here he pauses to swipe at his phone screen, most likely reading from another article he found. How many terrible new things can they discover in one day? "Apparently some people take advantage of non-sexual kinks and fetishes and try to force others to indulge in them without consent. Including minors."
Apparently a-fucking-lot is his answer. Matt's drawn out groan of disgust would have been funny if not for the dire subject matter. He didn't even consider something like that, and it perfectly takes advantage of Keith's asexuality to boot.
"Wait, what does all that mean?" And now Keith is looking up again, confusion written plain as day on his face.
"Kinks or fetishes are acts that people engage in during sex that are, hm. Different, let's say, and usually pretty benign. There is a difference between those two but we can go over that later. To answer your question." A pause as he taps at his chin. "Let's say someone really likes feet. And they think you have nice ones, but they know they can't suddenly pressure you to have sex with them and involving that kink or fetish, since it would be too obvious.
"Instead they might ask 'can I see them?' or 'could you send me pictures of them?' For you it sounds strange but harmless. But they're using your body to indulge in their sexual fantasies, without your consent. See what I mean?"
The grimace on Keith's face is briefly visible until he hides his face behind his legs, which are pulled up with his arms wrapped around. "Yeah. I didn't know that, um, that p-people did that." His voice is muffled but Shiro can hear it tremble. He feels his own heart breaking.
"Keith, I know all these awful things are really hard to hear. And I'm proud of you for how well you're handling it. We want you to be safe is all, so certain types can't take advantage of you. Alright?" He waits for Keith to nod his head. "We'll leave the rest of that discussion to another day then."
Matt suddenly snaps his fingers. "Right! Just remembered what I wanted to say. So this happened to me like a year ago, I think? I was on a date with this cute guy. I mean I didn't think it was a date or anything, I just assumed we were hanging out and getting to know each other. But anyway we went back to his dorm room, and it was empty. I know, it was stupid of me but whatever.
"So he starts getting handsy, and I tell him to back off cause I'm really not into hooking up like that. I had just found out I was demi and basically came out to him. He goes 'Lemme show you how good it feels' and then tries again. I somehow bullshit my way out of it and escape to his bathroom, then climb out the window and book it back to my own room. Avoided him like the plague after that."
The room is quiet as everyone digests his story. Shiro doesn't know whether to punch the wall at finding out that someone tried to essentially force himself on his best friend or - god forbid - laugh at the bizarre image of Matt escaping through a bathroom window.
Nope. Definitely the first option. "Hey Matt, what's his name? And what's he look like? Just curious is all."
"I'm not telling you guys sh-don't think I don't see you on your phone Adam." And if Adam grips said phone any harder he might actually shatter it. "It's over with now and I don't want you to mess up your careers for some loser. I only mentioned it cause I want Keith to know what signs to watch out for with some of these freaks."
"Well I wish you had mentioned something before, so we at least could have reported it and kept an eye out. And Keith." Shiro waits for the teen to look up at him. "If anyone says or does anything out of line or makes you uncomfortable, please tell us. Any of us. Iverson too if none of us are around." He has to speak over Keith's snort, cutting off his impending protests. "I know you two don't get along but believe me, if you go to him he'll quash any issues."
Keith gives him a stiff shrug. "I'll come to you guys at least. Not making any promises about Iverson though." Shiro still worries about that but doesn't want to push him, at least not now. "But I, um. There is something I wanna, like, you know. Tell you. It's uh, it's about that letter I had in my hand when I came home before. A couple years ago?"
Shiro digs through his memories for a moment. He recalls the crumpled envelope in Keith's clenched fist. And the look of hurt on his face at Adam's mild teasing. Teasing that involved a crush? That joke probably hit closer to home than they realized. "Did someone do something to you? I remember how upset you were that day."
He hesitates and chews his bottom lip. "I-well it wasn't really bad. Not like what happened with Matt-
"This isn't a competition dork," and Matt noogies him until Keith slaps his hands away.
"I know that, I was just saying! Anyway, this girl gave me the letter afterschool and made me read it right there. I told her I wasn't interested and she got mad and tried to kiss me so I got her off and ran back home."
Without even looking, Shiro can feel Adam's guilt come off him in waves.
"Jeez, Keith. And then I teased you like that, without even asking how you were."
"Huh? Why would I still be mad about that? You can't read minds."
"Well still. I'm sorry for poking fun at you." And he ruffles Keith's hair, getting his own hands swatted away with a growl.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you. I know she was young, just like you were, but that doesn't make it okay," Shiro says.
"And remember when I said yesterday not to be a bitch to anyone who rejects you? Well fuck that advice. Anyone who gets mad at you for rejecting them can eat a dick."
"Adam, why do you curse so much around him?"
Keith's head jerks up, eyes wide as he chokes out a surprised laugh. "Oh um. It's, it's fine. It was a while ago, so I'm good now." His forefinger and thumb rubbing together tells a different story. "But um... t-thanks guys." He ducks his head again.
Matt claps his hand on Keith's shoulder, getting his and everyone's attention. "Okay so I think we can all agree that we need a fun break, at least until we find more depressing things online. So how about we find some stuff you can wear to show off your orientation. Like pins or t-shirts."
"Or that really cool flag blanket I found." Keith nearly talks over Matt in a rush, eyes shining. "And that hoodie that said "Space Ace, yeah?" And Shiro realizes his brother is excited. Despite everything, he can't help but smile, letting it grow wider when he sees the soft look on Adam's face as he looks on at the scene unfolding.