"Space...the final frontier..." Kirk said quietly to himself as the ship floated through space. Or...flew, seems like it'd float though, really. Whatever. "Stardate...something." He said for all to hear this time. "It seems like we've been...floating for a long long...time. Don't know when we're going to...go to the next planet. Also, Spock is a douche."
Spock sighed a bit and continued to work at his station thing rather than actually respond. That was until a spitball hit him in the back of the head. He turned and stared at Kirk, who had a straw in his hand. "Real mature."
"It wasn't... me." Kirk quickly tossed the straw away. "Sulu did it."
"Oh myyyy..."
Suddenly an alarm went off in the ship and Kirk began to panic. "I didn't do that, did I? Cause if I did, I blame Sulu."
"No sir, there's an unidentified object approaching." A red shirt doomed dude said from the front of the ship. "It looks like...like...a giant diaper. What's more interesting is, we're picking up sounds coming from inside. Take a listen."
He pressed a button and suddenly munching sounds could be heard.
"Hey Vegeta! You gotta try some of this chocolate, after a few dozen stories, I don't even taste the shit anymore!"
"I don't want-a the poop, you idiot! And for the last time...I'M NOT VEGETAAAAAAAAA!"
The shout caused the speakers to cut out and transmission was lost immediately. "Should I try to pick up the signal again, captain?"
"Please don't." Iron Man said as he calmly walked into the room, doors shutting behind him. Everyone stared at him, confused as to where he came from. "Hi." He blasted the controls and grabbed the only chick in the room. "I am Iron Man, and 2 Star Trek sections down, 4 to go." He grabbed a hold of the chick's hand and started to hover. "Hold on, baby, 'cause this is gonna be a wild ride. And I don't mean flying out of here, if you get my drift." He blasted off INTO SPACE with her.
Meanwhile, the ship floated to its doom...near a black hole. Kirk sat calmly in his chair, staring out the window. "Well, gentleman, it's been an... honor to serve as your captain for-Oh who the hell am I kidding, I'm getting the hell out of here!" Kirk ran for the exit and transported himself off of the ship...which kersploded moments afterwords.