A lot was happening. Stefan was gone. Caroline wasn't speaking to him. And Damon was a lot more distant. I was starting to feel something coming. The dreaded goodbye. I sensed how he was now. He wouldn't joke with me anymore. He talked about Elena more when he was actually speaking. I was on my computer getting some work done when I heard a knock at my door. It was Damon. "Hey,"he said, with a sad smile. I let him in and I went to sit on the couch. "Aren't you going to sit?"I asked him. "I'm not staying, I wanted to talk to you." My heart sped up at that. Please don't leave, I kept thinking. "I'm giving up Bon,"he told me. "What do you mean?" "I'm done waiting for Elena..I'm going to join her in the crypt..and wake up when she wakes up." I wasn't expecting this exactly. This was worse than him leaving. I stood up and walked closer to him. "Why are you doing this?"I asked him, just inches from his face. "This is what I want, Bonnie." "I'm so sorry that it's so painful for you to see me live everyday, you just can't wait until I'm dead. Just not morbid enough to see it happen." He sighed. "I want you to live a long, happy life Bonnie." I closed my eyes, willing the tears in my eyes to go away. He was actually doing this. "I thought we were in this together Damon. We both lost her. I'm the one that will never get to see her! But you will. And you can't stand to wait any longer? Screw you!" I turned away from him, staring at the fireplace. I wasn't going to let him see me cry.
I was going to miss him. But I felt so much anger in me. How dare he? "I came to say goodbye, Bonnie." I quickly turned to face him. "You're a coward. That's what you are Damon Salvatore." "Bonnie.." I interrupted him. "No, you are. I know things have been hectic. But we can handle that. You and me. We're a team, Damon. But I guess not huh? As long as you don't have Elena you're nothing right? You're a completely separate person Damon. You can live without her. Maybe immortality gets to your head so much that you take all those years for granted. Several years of your life will be gone!" He looked upset and I just couldn't find it within myself to calm down. I was going to lose him. He was willingly leaving me behind. He came towards me and took hold of my arms. "You're going to live a happy life Bonnie Bennett..and without me, you'll get to live it correctly. Everything's better without me in the picture." "That's a load of crap and you know it! You're just too lazy to learn to accept yourself and everything you've done." "I came to say goodbye Bonnie. I don't want this to be the last memory you have of me." That's when I started crying. As much as I pushed him away, he pulled me closer to him and held me. I was crying in his chest and he was kissing my forehead, and murmuring how much he was going to miss me. "You have control over this, I don't understand why you've chosen this." "I'm doing it, Bon."
I thought about the day we kissed. It was right after one of our battles with the heretics. We were so happy to see each other. He pulled me to him and kissed my lips. He kept murmuring that he thought he lost me. And I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. It was a great moment until we realized what we had done. I looked up at Damon now. "Please tell me why exactly, Damon. Is it me?" He shook his head. "No, it's not you. You've made me happier than I deserve." This couldn't happen. I could change his mind right? "I can find a loophole Damon. I can try to work around that spell." "But then you'll both die. I can't endanger your life Bonnie." More stubborn tears kept pouring from my eyes. He wiped them with his thumb. He kissed my forehead again. "Goodbye Bonnie." Before I could protest, he sped out of the house.