Title::..(learn to) Live So Free
Spoilers::..Regionals
Rating::..PG for a little bit of swearing
Genre::..Fluff
Characters::..Quinn, Mercedes and Kurt
Author's Note::..This fic takes a look at Quinn's life as a nomad and adding more to her friendship with Mercedes and Kurt, 'coz those three are made of win. A little cheesy, but then again, would it be Glee if it wasn't?
The whole thing about Beyoncé refusing to do the Single Ladies choreography again is false. At the time of planning this story I thought it was factual, but then a little research on the internet proved it was simply something cooked up on a slow news day. But it was a good excuse to imagine Kurt doing the dance again.
The lyrics featured in the title were nabbed from the song Broken Wings by Mr Mister. You can imagine Quinn signing it, perhaps aided by Puck and Finn.
Summary::..Take these broken wings and learn to fly again, not only does Quinn have to deal with her unplanned pregnancy; she also has to find a place to live.
Quinn's room was the furthest away from her parents. Her older sister had occupied the room immediately beside theirs. Meanwhile Quinn was located at the opposite end of the hall. The run from her room to the safety of her parent's bed had always seemed so far, with the fear from a nightmare burning fresh in her heart.
At the back of the house Quinn felt isolated. The door was closed while her parent's sat downstairs watching Spin and Win, scotch glasses in hand. Quinn was left completely alone with her thoughts. It didn't make any difference if the door lay ajar and the cable switched off, they couldn't help her. Not now that the pregnancy test lay positive at the bottom of her waste bin. She was alone, without a helping hand.
Her thoughts were clouded with worry. There was no talking it out and finding a solution with an understanding Mom, or crying into the strong shoulder of her Dad. She pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the sun slowly disappear behind the trees. A tear broke away from her eyelashes and slid down her cheek. She didn't bother to push it away. She would wallow now and find a solution later, she decided.
Quinn's arms were wrapped around her round stomach. She found they went there quite often. It was a comfortable position. Her arms seemed to go there without any instruction from her. One arm draped over the top of the bump and the other around the middle. She knew she couldn't keep her baby, but she really enjoyed the idea of holding it.
She was resting her back against the plush cushions of the couch. Beside her Puck sat on the edge of his seat, hunched over his game controller. He was consumed by Super Mario Brothers, again. He hadn't looked back at Quinn since she had sat down. He didn't care that she was here, let alone what she was going through because of his sperm.
Mercedes carried Quinn's bags in to the guest room. Quinn enjoyed how unorganized the room was, boxes weren't hidden away in storage and the photos didn't boast a perfect family, instead silly expressions were exhibited. Numerous teddy bears littered the bed spread. There was a table on either side of the bed and the lamps positioned on each did not match. It was a refreshing change from the 'perfect' house her mom had worked tirelessly to create.
"You've got the best TV in the place 'coz my mom had to take it out of their bedroom when my dad kept tossing up pillow-talk with her for sport-talk with ESPN." Mercedes explained, drawing Quinn's attention to the large-screen TV sitting on an end table.
"I gotta tell you, I really like it here." Quinn told her.
"Yeah, just wait until my annoying little sister and her petite posse get here." Mercedes replied.
Quinn laughed lightly as she sat down amongst her bags. She half-wondered if there were any point unpacking. Mercedes didn't leave the way Finn and Puck had after showing Quinn to her temporary room. She moved toward the bed as well.
"Do you want me to help you unpack?" She offered. "You got plenty of closet space."
Quinn shook her head. "That's okay, I can do it later."
Mercedes nodded solemnly. "Okay." She began to back away; Quinn didn't want to be alone again. "I'm right next door if you need anything."
She got too close to the door and so Quinn got up. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." Mercedes shrugged.
"I really appreciate you giving me a room to stay in." Quinn stated. "But how did you convince your parents that this is a good idea?"
"Easy." Mercedes stated. "My mom was pregnant with my older brother when she was your age."
"Oh." Quinn replied slowly. "I guess I'll have a lot to talk about with her at dinner."
Mercedes smiled awkwardly. "Yeah." She turned away, moving to leave again.
"Hey Mercedes?" Quinn began anxiously.
"Yeah?"
She quickly asked the first thing that popped into her head. "Do you have a nick-name?"
Mercedes face creased in confusion. She seemed as surprised as Quinn by the question. "What?"
"Yeah, a nick-name." Quinn enthused. "When people had nice things to say to me they called me Q or Fab. It's just that Mercedes is a long name to say and I'm gonna be saying it a lot."
"Sometimes I get called Cedes; it's a little shorter, if you can dig it." Mercedes said.
Quinn grinned. "I can dig it."
"I hope my music isn't too loud for you Fab." Mercedes said, leaving this time.
"I'm sure I can handle it Cedes." Quinn replied.
She didn't close the door, just in case Mercedes wanted to come back in. She sat down on the bed again. Of course her arms went around her stomach. Looking around the room she hoped she could stay here. But she wasn't yet hopeful enough to unpack her clothes for the third time.
Quinn wasn't sure about travelling to school on the bus. She was comfortable with everything else that came as a part of living in Mercedes' house. In fact she enjoyed most of it. But simply the thought of getting on the bus made her nervous.
She was filled with anxiety when the yellow beast pulled up in front of Mercedes' house. They were going to stare at her. Quinn was absolutely certain. If they didn't gawk at her when she first climbed on, they would when her baby bump made it too difficult for her to fit in to the seat.
Other teenagers were moving into the bus, but Quinn hung back while Mercedes was occupied with her phone. "It's in my bag. We got Biology together first, you can try it on then. It'll look great on you. I promise, you'll look totally cute. Can you please trust my fashion sense? Okay. Okay, I'll see you soon. Bye Kurt."
Mercedes shoved the phone into her pocket and stepped up beside Quinn. She smiled and they began toward the metal stairs. Quinn knew they would stare at her. But this time she wouldn't be alone. Mercedes wasn't going to stare and treat her like an alien. This time Quinn had someone on her side.
Quinn lay on her back, her arms in their usual position around her stomach and her eyes closed. Her hair was still matted to her face with the sweat that had built up on her forehead during her venture up the stairs. The aches in her body would soon be erased.
Images from the day spent at school flashed before her eyes. Finn had smiled at her today. Looked at her and smiled. There had been no hurt in his eyes, this time there had been acceptance. She heard her own voice on repeat, stumbling to form a sentence. When she had been standing in front of him she hadn't been able to think of anything to say. But now millions of sentences flew into her mind.
A familiar song introduction came pulsing through the wall. Quinn was content to lay and listen to the song, with Mercedes singing along. It was when another voice joined Mercedes' that Quinn thought she should get up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and began the struggle to stand.
She waddled to the room beside hers where the door stood open. In the middle of the room were Mercedes and Kurt. They were both clad in black leotards. They moved in perfect unison, neither looking over to notice Quinn watching.
"All the single ladies." Kurt sang.
"All the single ladies." Mercedes harmonized.
Quinn kept her lips clamped shut over giggles. She couldn't contain her amused grin and so put her hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shuddered as the song drew to a close. When the song faded into silence and the pair worked to catch their breath Quinn put her hands together in applause.
"Quinn." They both turned to face her.
"You guys were amazing." She stated.
Mercedes was self-consciously fidgeting with her leotard. "It's a work in progress."
"Don't be so modest, it was really great." Quinn told them. "But I gotta ask, what's the occasion?"
"We're dancing this dance for the last time." Kurt informed her.
"Really? Why?" She inquired.
Kurt opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it. He placed his fist there. "I can't say it, you tell her Boo."
"Beyoncé says she's sick of everyone copying the Single Ladies moves so she's not going to do them anymore." Mercedes explained. "So we're doing the dance now to say goodbye."
"That sucks." Quinn stated. "I remember when you did that dance right before you kicked the winning score Kurt, it was awesome."
Kurt glanced up, dabbing at his eyes. "Yeah, it was."
"Do you wanna join us?" Mercedes offered.
"That's okay." Quinn shook her head. "I think I have to go to the bathroom again." She had stepped away from the door but Mercedes called her back. "Yeah?"
"Breakfast at Tiffany's is on TV tonight so Kurt is staying over to watch it with me." Mercedes said. "Do you wanna join us?"
Quinn smiled as a plan came to mind. "So you're gonna watch it right here in your room?"
Mercedes shrugged. "Yeah."
"Well this TV is really small, you two should watch it in my room, on the decent-sized TV." Quinn suggested.
Mercedes grinned. "Sure, sounds great. We'll bring the popcorn."
"Awesome." Quinn replied, turning to leave.
There was a further eight minutes to wait before the movie began. But Kurt was ready. He sat in his pyjamas, against the head board with his eyes fixed on the TV. Quinn plugged her mobile phone in to recharge (considering the task pointless as she did so) before sitting down beside him.
The smell of buttered popcorn entered before Mercedes. She carried a large bowl in front of her. "Fresh popcorn!" Her smile faded as she moved further into the room and her eyes found the pile of Quinn's bags in the corner. "Quinn, you haven't unpacked yet?"
"Yeah." She agreed.
"Why not?" Mercedes asked.
"I've been moving around so much lately, packing my clothes and unpacking them only to pack them up again a few weeks later." Quinn explained.
"We'll help you unpack." Kurt offered.
"Yeah." Mercedes beamed. "You're gonna need to get comfortable here."
After placing the popcorn down Mercedes moved to the bags. Kurt crawled to the end of the bed to assist her. Kurt opened the closet and Mercedes handed up clothes to be placed on the shelves. Quinn slowly pushed herself off the bed and moved to the end of the room.
"Thanks guys." She told them.
"It's no problem Fab." Mercedes replied.
"Your Cheerios uniform." Kurt held it up. They all fell silent looking at it, understanding the emotional weight the polyester two-piece held. He cleared his throat. "Do you want me to hang it up?"
Quinn attempted to shrug it off. "Yeah, I guess."
"We could put it away in a different room so you don't have to look at it all the time." Mercedes offered.
Quinn shook her head. "No, leave it there. When I see it I can think about what's going to happen after the baby is gone, getting my life back to normal."
"Okay." Mercedes agreed.
Kurt returned to hanging jackets up silently. Mercedes moved to fiddling with the TV remote. Neither of them knew what to do to make Quinn feel better. She wasn't worried about not having any words of comfort; simply having company was good enough for her.
"It's starting." Mercedes announced.
They all sat down on the bed. Somehow Quinn ended up in the middle. Kurt was commenting on all of the fashion while Mercedes was comparing points of the storyline to other movies. Quinn didn't mind their never-ending and off-topic chattering. She was very comfortable between their warm bodies. Perfectly relaxed she closed her eyes as the pair began to sing along to Moon River.
When she re-opened her eyes the characters had just found their cat. They were embracing in the rain. Glancing to her left she saw Kurt's eyes shining while on her right side Mercedes' cheeks were wet with tears. She smiled, giving both a stroke on their arms.
She was interrupted when the baby kicked her. Surprised, she sat forward; she had never felt the baby kick like this before. Beth was getting stronger. In case Quinn had missed the first kick Beth continued to pound her little foot into the wall of Quinn's womb.
"What is it?" Mercedes asked worriedly, sitting forward as well.
"The baby's kicking." Quinn said.
While this was something she had been able to get used to over the past nine months Kurt and Mercedes were excited by the idea of a person inside of Quinn kicking. Both sat forward, their eyes wide. They were breathless as they watched her.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah." She replied. "She's getting stronger is all."
"Would it be okay if I felt it kicking?" Mercedes asked.
"Sure, go ahead." Quinn invited.
Beth continued to kick for both Kurt and Mercedes to feel. Quinn thought her daughter might be a bit of a show-off. Mercedes and Kurt were so impressed, grinning with every pat of the foot. Quinn could tap into their excitement.
Long after Beth had gone back to sleep they continued to talk. They discussed things that Quinn would have thought geeky nine months ago. She listened to the way Kurt and Mercedes talked to each other, understanding and supportive rather than the nights spent bitching at Cheerio sleep-overs. Most importantly they laughed.
Santana watched as Quinn walked past her. Santana had her arms folded over the front of her Cheerio uniform. She had her head tilted back so she could look down her nose at Quinn. Quinn was moving past Santana to her seat in the back row with Mercedes and Kurt.
"Hey guys." She greeted. Santana lost interest in shooting dark glances at Quinn when Brittany entered. "They're playing Roman Holiday on TV this Friday night. What do you think? My room, I'll make the popcorn."
"Sure." Kurt agreed.
"Sounds great." Mercedes enthused. "We'll be watching it as Regional Champions."
Quinn's mum was stroking her hair, just like when she was younger. "I didn't change anything in your room." They were seated on the hospital bed, under the florescent lights. "You can come home right now if you'd like."
Quinn twisted her hands anxiously. "Actually Mom, if it's all the same to you I'd like to continue living with Mercedes and her family."
Judy's face fell. She tried to cover it up with a smile a moment later. "If that's what you want."
"It's not that I don't want to come home, but not just now, okay?" Quinn told her.
Judy's hand stilled in Quinn's hair and soon after that she was gone. Quinn drew her knees up into her chest and allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks as the minutes moved slowly past. The world was still spinning but for now she didn't feel a part of it.
Mercedes walked behind the rest of her family, alongside Quinn. They walked slowly, in an awkward silence. Quinn could hold her arms easily in front of her, but the action felt very uncomfortable. She let her arms hang by her side and kept her eyes parallel to the ground. She needed to re-adjust to this life. She was anxious to return to the familiar, unchangeable environment of the bedroom beside Mercedes'.
"You don't have to feel obligated to stay with us." Mercedes said. "If you wanna go home you don't have to worry about me getting like offended or anything."
"That's not why I told my mom I wanted to stay with you guys for longer." Quinn corrected. "I like being roommates with you. And I can't leave until after Friday."
Mercedes furrowed her brow. "Why? Is your mom having your house fumigated for bugs?"
Quinn dismissed this with a laugh. "No. Roman Holiday is on Friday night, you, me and Kurt planned to watch it, remember?"
"Oh right." Mercedes grinned. "Can't believe I forgot about that."
Quinn lay on her flat stomach, laughing as Kurt acted out all of the actions of Audrey Hepburn. Mercedes sat beside her, the popcorn forgotten as she clapped for more. Kurt didn't need to look at the movie to know where Hepburn was up to in fiddling with her high-heeled shoe.
The scene closed and Kurt bowed. Mercedes and Quinn clapped with more enthusiasm than before. Their attention was removed from the movie as Kurt happily twirled about. Then it was time for Mercedes to take on the role of Randy Jackson and Quinn to become Simon Cowell as they judged his performance.
When Kurt returned to his seat on the bed he raised his glass of unnaturally bright Kool-Aid. "I would like to propose a toast to Quinn."
Her mouth fell open in disbelief. "Me? What did I do?"
"Shut up with your modesty, you know what you did." He replied.
"Yeah Quinn, you've been so brave." Mercedes added. "I know I am never going to complain about period pains again after being with you in the delivery room."
"Not out loud." Kurt commented.
"So we're proposing a toast to you and your regained freedom." Mercedes concluded.
"Thanks guys." Quinn said as they lightly bumped their glasses together. "Although I'm happy to have my life back I don't want it to go back to how it was."
Kurt furrowed his brow. "Why not?"
"I was a bitch before." Quinn stated.
"Oh, my, she said a naughty word." Mercedes feigned shock to Kurt.
Quinn shrugged. "I'll admit it, I was a real bitch. I want to be different now, more tolerant, less stuck-up and with my sisters by my side." She extended her hand toward them. "My real sisters." Mercedes took her hand and Kurt linked his fingers around her wrist.
The night was spent laughing and bonding. Quinn helped Kurt by plucking the misplaced eyebrows that had been plaguing his days. Mercedes picked the perfect colour for Quinn's nails and while she painted they discussed Puck. As the amount of sugar in their system increased so did their laughter, which caused cracks in the beauty masks they had applied.
The End.