Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is J.K. Rowling's. Except Jamie, Luka, and Ariana.
A/N: It's good to be back. :)
Life Without Fear
Part of me never thought that we would get this far. Come out of this on the other side, free of fear, pain, and suffering. We did though— we made it to the other side, and all there is left to do now is live… my problem is, do we know how to live without some big bad looking over our shoulder? For our sakes I hope we do— I hope this feeling of life now being but a play goes away. Hopefully… I can stay grounded in the present.
Chapter 1- Life Goes On
"I'm still shocked at how fast they rebuilt the castle. The structural damage alone would have taken weeks in my estimate." Hermione says fiddling with a hairbrush on the table in front of the mirror.
"Don't tell me being away for a year made you forget everything Hermione. We're witches— we have magic. Anything is possible." Ginny says with a humph lying back on Ariana's bed like she owned the place. I kick her shoe annoyed, that she almost squashed me in her grand landing.
"I wonder if Hogwarts will ever feel the same again." I say closing my eyes. Every time I close my eyes I can see scenes of walls painted red with blood, and pain and agony reverberating down the halls. That is whenever I don't see Malfoy Manor and Augustus. Even though I repeat over and over again that he's dead, sometimes it takes more than saying it to believe it.
"Can we not talk about something as depressing as this when I am about to graduate in a few hours?" Ariana's voice floats out from the bathroom, and I immediately sit up, dying to see what my girlfriend— my beautiful insanely smart girlfriend looks like. She refused to show me what dress she bought for her graduation, to keep me in suspense. It has only been driving me insane since then.
I may not be the most fashionable girl in the world, but I can still tell what looks good on Ariana or not. Let me say there are few things in the world the girl could wear without looking anything less than stunning. I'm not biased or anything…
Ariana steps out of the bathroom and my jaw drops. She literally is going to kill me one of these days. The gray blue dress hugs her curves in all the right places, while still managing to be conservative with a small scoop neck. I am literally dumbstruck at her visage.
"Amazing Ariana." Hermione beams, dropping the brush and giving the girl her undivided attention.
"Like the color." Ginny says with a wriggle of her eyebrows, looking suggestively between Ariana and me.
I finally manage to get some semblance of my brain back in functioning order.
"Beautiful— absolutely beautiful." I manage to get out. Ariana flushes a light red, and I find myself tracking her movements as she moves over to Hermione so that she can do her hair in front of the mirror.
"You're so lucky to be graduating." Hermione breathes out a tinge of jealously in her voice. It was finally discussed and determined with all the teachers last week that the four of us who did not attend Hogwarts for our last year of school would need to come back again this coming year to complete the school curriculum and in fact actually graduate from school. The only one of us who seemed even mildly okay with doing so is Hermione for she seemed almost scandalized at the thought of not going through seven whole years of schooling.
I on the other hand have been agonizing about what to do ever since we were informed of this conclusion. I have never really been one for school. Sure I could do it and get good grades, but I don't think that I could go through a whole other year without the familiarity of the rest of my year mates. There is also the problem of the memory and nightmares of the bloody and demolished castle that invade my brain when I least want them to.
I shake my head and force myself to pay attention to what is going on in the room around me. Ariana is now sitting in front of her mirror running her brush through her hair while chatting with Hermione about what the graduation will actually be like from Hogwarts. Since everything has been thrown off this year to put it lightly, plans about how to proceed have been complicated and strenuous.
The Ministry has been attempting to rebuild, but the process is almost halted in its tracks as every employee and creature has to go through checks and procedures to make sure that they were not corrupted by the dark arts, or a follower of Voldemort. His name is much easier to think nowadays, but people are still afraid to say it aloud. Some of those people are the same ones who watched as Harry dueled and remained the last one standing in the very battle.
Ginny nudges me and I quickly turn my gaze to her, trying to reassure her that I am still here and fine, not good but fine. "You know… today's supposed to be a happy day." She whispers so that the other two don't overhear us. I grit my teeth, upset with myself that I couldn't put on a better façade for the day.
Truth is— I've been struggling. I think we all have been. Hermione throws herself into whatever task she is handed to help out to bring things back to the way they used to be, so that she doesn't have to face everything that's happened. Ron has taken to disappearing from the house under the pretenses of De-Gnoming, but when you go to look for him in the yard, he is not there anymore. Harry— well Harry is hardly around these days.
He's been all over the map not entirely sure where his purpose is anymore. He doesn't have the Dursley's anymore and he only stays at the Burrow long enough to satisfy Mum, that he is indeed safe. I'm fairly certain that he has the tent still and that he is camping out at times when he needs to be alone. Fred and George have all but moved back into the Burrow while Fred recuperates from his injuries.
Even though the pair are laughing and cracking jokes like usual, there's a strain behind the smiles, that not even the pair of jokesters can keep in. Luka has not taken the final battle very well either. He is stuck in the pull between guilt and vindication for ending Augustus. His anger is what sustained him through the battle, but now that it is gone, he is left with the conscious of having ended a man's life.
Mum still glances at the clock that is now safely put back in its place on the wall between the living room and the kitchen. Even though all of our hands say that we are out of mortal peril she still glances there worriedly, as if unsure if she can really believe that it is all over.
Dad seems to be one of the only people who still visibly stressed about rebuilding now. There are still reports coming in across the country of acts of dark magic still being performed even though the war is won, and they have lost.
I'm broken from my inner musings by the warmth of soft hands that envelope mine. I glance up to meet soft and worried brown eyes. Ariana is kneeling down in front of me and I don't hear or see the other two girls. "Are you still with me love?" Ariana asks softly. I can see the worry lines that are crinkling between her eyebrows, and I reach out a slightly shaking hand to smooth them out.
Ariana has been different since the war as well, much more serious and worrisome about things that she can't control— like me.
"'Course." I say managing a small grin, while leaning forward to place a light kiss on her lips, barely brushing them. Ariana's eyes flutter closed for a second, before her gaze is back on me.
"You'll let me know if things get to be too much right? I don't want you pushing yourself again…" Ariana says cupping my cheek in her hand.
I close my eyes against the memory of the funerals that happened for all the people who died in the final battle. There were just so many of them, and so many that I knew. Remus and Tonks shouldn't have ended like that. They had everything to live for, a life, a marriage, and a son. Its cruel beyond words that this is what happened to them.
There was also the small coffin of Colin Creevey who shouldn't have even been in the battle, but was too stubborn about fighting for what he believed in. He shouldn't have died as well. Fred almost ended up like them, I still have nightmares of holding onto his wound, trying to make sure that he doesn't die. On good nights Luka and Ariana make it to us in time— on bad ones… he dies.
At the funeral it got to be too much being on the grounds of Hogwarts, seeing the memorial stone be set in place, remembering the echoes of screams and explosions, and all the blood and dead bodies… I was practically curled up in my chair with my hands over my ears with my eyes tightly closed so that I could try and block out the images.
Ariana and Luka ended up having to pry me away to the stares and searching eyes of others. It definitely wasn't fun emptying the meager contents of my stomach out into the grass by the edge of the lake.
"I'll be okay Ari— I want to see you graduate! I'm so ridiculously proud of you with all that you accomplished and went through while I was away. I-I'm not sure that I could have done that." I say playing with the fingers of her left hand.
Ariana rolls her eyes at me playfully. "Says the girl who broke into and successfully stole from Gringotts, rode a dragon, and also broke in the Ministry. I think that you could have handled it." She tells me rising to her feet, and tugging me up to follow suit. Even though it is summer time I am wearing a nice silver colored dress shirt and black slacks, for I'm still not feeling good enough about what happened to show off my body. I may not have scared much physically but mentally the wounds are still seeping blood steadily.
"We better get meeting up with the others before your mother blows her gasket and sends out a fully armed search party." Ariana chuckles tugging me out of her room and down the steps to the front hall where Hermione and Ginny are talking in quiet voices.
Sometimes I nearly forget that Ginny has been through most of what the rest of us have been. She acts almost like nothing has happened, and I am amazed and more than a little bit jealous that she is able to do so. The biggest thing is that I know that seeing all the death has really affected her, and her worry for Harry is slowly eating away at her.
They might not have really gotten the moment to reconnect, but I know that the feelings are still there they haven't disappeared. It annoys her to high heavens that Ron and Hermione are practically locked at the lip these days. I think that its their way of dealing with all the crap that has been dredged up, but Ginny postulates that all those years of sexual tension has finally come to a boil and they won't simmer down until they've exhausted themselves.
When that may be I have no clue at all. The whispers between Hermione and Ginny stop when we reach the bottom stair and come level with them.
"Ready are we? We don't want to keep Mrs. Weasley waiting, the last time Ron and I were late she nearly threw a spoon at my head!" Hermione says with a slight shudder, remembering exactly how red and explosive my mum actually became.
We make our way out of the house pausing outside so that Ariana can lock it up. Professor McGonagall had already long gone to the school in order to prepare for the graduating class procedure. The four of us walk to the far street corner that I have long since gotten used to Apparating to, Ariana's and my hands entwined.
Once there we keep a look out for muggles as we turn on the spot and think of home, where hopefully we won't be subjected to the whole inquisition on why exactly we didn't arrive at the very second that we claimed to be arriving. The yanking sensation pulls at my bellybutton, and I'm pulled into the pressing darkness.
When we come to a stop I grip Ariana's hand tighter to straighten myself up. Ariana smiles at me before giving my hand a squeeze so that we can follow the other two girls down the path to the burrow. Oddly enough the house looks fairly quiet and calm, which honestly isn't something that it ever is, so I'm more than slightly worried about what is waiting for us inside.
As soon as we step foot into the yard the door bursts open to a very irate and disheveled Mum.
"Where have you been? You said that you would be back fifteen minutes ago! I don't know what was going through your little heads, its still dangerous out there!" Mum cries hurrying down the few steps to confront us in the yard.
"Mum…" I say trying to find something to say.
"Nothing is safe anymore." Ginny says crossly, crossing her arms over her chest. I notice Dad and the rest of the household trickle out behind mum. Dad comes up and lightly rests his hands on Mum's shoulders.
"Molly dear, all that matters is that the girls are safe. Besides, this is supposed to be a happy day, your son is graduating from Hogwarts after all." Dad says, and I watch with a tiny sliver of amusement as she deflates under his words.
"All right, but only because this is such an important day for Luka, and Ariana too." Mum concedes, smiling at Ariana brightly.
"Okay it's settled then! Let's go get these two egg heads their certificates of know-it-all-hood!" Fred says clapping his hands, with a grin on his face. I worriedly look over my brother noticing that he's still paler than I would like him to be, but the happy look on his face, and the mirrored grin by George is enough to settle my worries back down.
"You're just jealous that you never got said paper." Luka says with a smirk passing the two of them while finishing pulling on his traveling cloak on. He is wearing a crisp royal blue dress shirt in honor of his soon to be old house Ravenclaw, and black slacks with shiny black dress shoes.
His glasses have long since gotten repaired after the final battle, and there is still an air of unease about him, even on such a special day.
"Looking good Pendragon." Ariana says with a smile, and I watch as the two of them exchange a look that I have been seeing a lot lately. Despite the smiles on their faces, there is a seriousness to their voices, and some part of me can't help but think that this particular exchange developed under the deplorable conditions that Hogwarts was running under before the war ended.
"Yeah, well you got to watch yourself." Luka replies, and I feel Ariana squeeze my hand, in light reassurance. I turn my attention back to the group at large, and see that Ron and Hermione have finally managed to migrate back towards each other, like a muggle contraption that Harry explained were called magnets.
Fred and George were making gagging noises along with Ginny behind their backs, while Mum and Dad look worriedly around the yard. "Who are we missing? I thought that Bill, Fleur, and Percy were going to meet us at Hogwarts?" I ask, suddenly unsure of the whole situation.
"That boy is going to be the death of me." Mum mutters glancing around the outskirts of the yard from the garden to the shed.
"Harry is supposed to meet up with us here Jamie. He owled last night and said that he would come." Dad explained a flat look on his face. I bite my lower lip, not bothering to respond. Harry has always been like an eighth son to my parents, and his continued rejection of offers of a room and a permanent bed here have been all but rejected multiple times.
Quite honestly, I think that Harry just needs some time alone. The world expected so much from him for so long, that I think he needs some time off. I know that I need some time off, and I wasn't even the one who was the center of the whole prophecy for seven years, if you don't count the year when he was a mere baby.
There's a sudden CRACK in the distance and I'm not quite sure who is faster in hurrying in the general direction of the sound, Mum or Ginny. All that I know is that when the rest of us make our way over to the small cluster of people, is that Harry is getting the life squeezed out of him by my mother through the muffled words of a worried and angry tirade.
I guess that she's forgotten about us being late now. "Come now Molly, we have a school to make it to on time, and don't forget that we'll still have to walk up to the castle since the protections are back in place." Dad says prying her away from Harry and with a swift CRACK, gives her no choice but to follow.
There is a loud succession of CRACKs as everyone starts to Apparate away to Hogsmeade in singles and pairs. Ariana gives me a smile before making sure that my hand is still in hers and we follow with our very own CRACK!
Hogsmeade has indeed changed a lot since we have last been there. It had gotten significantly damaged in the final battle that took place at Hogwarts. There is still speculation if the giants or the Death Eaters who tore their way through here caused the worst of the damage.
Honeydukes is still trying to be festive and open, but its kind of hard to do so when there is still a majority of the floorboards in the shop that have been blasted open from the bottom out with the secret passages. Zonko's Joke Shop has not reopened their doors since, for the owner is still too scared to come back and step foot so close to where all the actions happened.
The Three Broomsticks is one of the only businesses still running for even though Madam Rosmerta got pretty badly injured in the final battle, she has still made it key that her pub be open to all weary travelers and survivors who need a place to take a moment and try to get away from it all.
It doesn't work all the time, but at least she tries. Surprisingly ever since Aberforth stepped up and started to help fight back at the castle, he has taken a bigger role in trying to help rebuild Hogsmeade and makes a few comments every now and again about how Hogwarts has to get back to what it used to be and what it used to stand for.
There has only been one time since the final battle that Ariana and Aberforth have met. It was at the funeral for all the fallen fighters in the War and the last battle. Aberforth was staring at her for the longest time, and I could tell that Ariana was torn between ignoring the man who cared nothing for her existence for the past seventeen years, or go over and confront him.
The choice was finally gone when after the service was finally concluded and the monument was revealed, he came over, and gruffly cleared his voice before commenting that she looks a lot like his Ariana, only his has darker hair, and that Ariana has brown eyes instead of the Dumbledore blue.
"I got my mum's eyes." Is all that Ariana said, before the man whirled away and stormed back down to Hogsmeade. Part of me feels bad for the man, but the way he makes Ariana feel about herself, is perfectly unacceptable.
The large group makes its way up the still clutter filled main lane of Hogsmeade and up the path to the castle. I can see it is the distance looming as large and brilliant as it always has. My mind threatens to shove memories of the horrors that went on in that very castle into the front of my brain but I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment to make it stop.
I can tell that for a lot of people now, that Hogwarts doesn't feel the same as it once did. Fred and George look almost leery of the castle getting closer and closer. Fred has gone a few shades paler. I'm not sure if I could ever visit the place where I almost died again. Luka has become drawn, and drifts back to Ariana and me so that he can walk with the two of us.
The final battle here meant so much to the three of us. We each did things that we can't take back, Luka killed Augustus, Ariana severely wounded some that resulted in death, and me— well my body count rests heavily on my mind and shoulders with every step that I take.
The images of sliced and stabbed bodies being consumed by the blue flames, that is the Righteous Fury jumping from me to Excalibur to them is a sight that I will never forget. Which is also why Excalibur is back in the ground in our vault where it belongs, and I hope to Merlin that it stays there forever. I can now see why Arthur was so tormented by it, the ability to end one's life whether righteous or not, is a horrible burden.
We finally make it up to the courtyard of the castle, and I almost can't believe that a massive and deadly battle took place here. If it was not for the vivid memories of the body that lay fallen on the ground, and the role that I had in moving them after everything was said and done.
There are a fair amount of people loitering in the courtyard as well. It is mainly the few from the graduating class and what family members that the have to attend with them. There is an uneasy feeling about the whole crowd. My stomach turns when I see a large knot of Slytherin students and what's left of their families hovering in a corner.
"What're they doing here?" Ron all but growls. Ron's temper has been even worse than usual lately. He will go off at the smallest of things, and it takes far longer than usual to cool him down. Hermione is about the only person who can get through to him when he's like that but, even then, she's not successful all the time.
Fred and George instantly glare at the group of Slytherins as well. While the other four houses lost multiple members to the battle, the Slytherins only lost a few. Those bastards didn't stay and fight they ran away and joined their parents on what ended up being the losing side.
"Ignore them. Unfortunately they have to graduate along with everyone else." Hermione says grabbing Ron by the hand, and tugging him to the far side of the courtyard where we see some familiar faces. Neville and his Gran are standing talking with Luna Lovegood and her father Xenophilius who is twitching every few seconds. I guess that he's not doing so well after being freed from Azkeban.
Neville's already present smile grows as soon as he sees the rest of us. "You made it! I can't believe that we're finally getting out of here!" Neville cries pulling Luka and Ariana into a hug, and I suddenly feel very alone and out of place. Judging by the looks on Harry, Ron, and Hermione's faces they feel it too. We should've been graduating this year we should have had normal lives.
You can't get everything you want unfortunately. Mum and Dad strike up a conversation with Neville's gran and the shaky Mr. Lovegood, and the rest of us hover around, not quite sure what to do with ourselves. It isn't long before Bill and Fleur arrive looking a lot happier than everyone else combined. I guess that their new love is still enough to make the world seem like it's not such a bad place to be after all.
Percy arrives a few minutes after breathless and red faced. He mutter some excuse to Mum and Dad about having to pull himself away from a meeting early, and then subsequently had to run up from Hogsmeade to make it in time. There is a few more minutes of awkward standing around before the large heavy doors of the castle swing open to reveal the Entrance Hall, and standing tall and proud (but still looking like she hasn't slept in months) stands Professor McGonagall.
It is still awkward when I run into her at Ariana's house even though I know she is Ariana's grandmother and that it is her house. I guess that it's going to be hard to get the years of feeling like a misbehaving child out of my system when I'm around her.
"Could I have all the students who will be graduating line up over by me please. Parents and guests may make their way to the Great Hall to be seated. The ceremony shall commence shortly!" Professor McGonagall calls out, and a hushed excited murmur spreads through the crowd. I watch as Neville and Luka eagerly push their way to the lengthening line by McGonagall.
I jump slightly when I feel a warm hand slip into mine for a squeeze and a light kiss to my cheek. "Wish me luck?" Ariana breathes, and her breath tickles against my ear.
"Only if I thought you'd need it." I reply and quickly deliver a quick kiss to her lips. Ariana sighs into the kiss before she breaks away with a smile to join the others, and I'm soon scowling by the kissy noises coming from my favorite pair of idiotic brothers.
"Kissy, kissy!" Fred taunts, and I shove him lightly, despite the scowl shot at me from Mum.
She thinks that he's some fragile little teapot now, but I assure you that he is definitely not. He is just milking the situation for all that it is worth, until he is going to no longer be able to do so. That will happen sooner than later if Mum catches him doing half of the things I've seen him doing, when he's supposed barely well enough to get out of bed and walk.
"So, when will we be getting the invitation for the wedding? I don't think we've given her the proper fleecing down as big brothers, yet have we?" George says with a rather mischievous grin on his face.
"Oh, put a sock in it! Nothing like that is going to happen. We're way too young for that and I think that there is enough that Mum wants to kill me for already without adding a wedding to that list." I grumble pushing past them, so that I can get a seat near my friends for the ceremony.
At least some people are going to have a good time today. I manage to sneak a seat in between Hermione and Harry which is great for me yet awkward at the same time. The four of us spent months locked up in a tent with only each other for company, and now it's like we can barely stand to be in the same room all together. I think that it may be because we all know each other too well, that we don't want to prod at the sensitive subjects that we know are right under the surface of our poorly built composure.
There are excited whispers and quiet laughter going through the gathered crowd. I'm almost not able to recognize the sounds of normal life, for it seems so long ago that things such as gossipy whispers and laughter was a thing that you could participate in.
The Great Hall is decked out in all its fancy glory awaiting the arrival of the chosen few from this year who will actually be able to graduate and get the scroll that says that they graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There are four giant and decadent banners of red, gold, blue, and green rolling down the wall that is usually behind the staff table which now houses only the golden eagle podium and rows of chairs for the professors of Hogwarts to sit in. Most of them are there looking as weary as professor McGonagall, yet excited at the same time.
Even Hagrid is in a magically enlarged and reinforced chair, looking very red faced and seemingly very happy. I'm glad that Hagrid is still going to be a teacher now. I'm not sure that there's another person alive who is as interested or cares for magical creatures as much as he does.
"I wish we could be graduating as well." Hermione says softly, and I watch as Ron squeezes her hand. I know that this is hard for Hermione, she has always been the one of out all of us who was most excited for school and what comes after. It wasn't our fault that one of the evilest men in the world decided to come to power at that exact moment and we had to fight back.
It almost sounds absurd when I think about it, but this actually happened to all of us. We actually went through a war, and now the rest of the world wants answers. It's no wonder Kingsley isn't here right now. I know that he really wants to be, because Luka is graduating, but the demands of being the new Minister of Magic are great right now, with the World Wizarding Council demanding answers.
The problem is that Kingsley doesn't have all the answers. I think that the only people in the country that have the greatest understanding about what was going through Dumbledore's mind, and the private fight with Voldemort are the four of us sitting here, nervously waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Suddenly all the noise in the hall came to a silence and the echoing steps of Professor or I guess I should now say Headmistress McGonagall walks up to the podium. When she arrives, the room is now so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for being here today. A lot has happened in the year and it seems fitting that a place not long ago filled with the horrors of the worst that wizarding kind can offer, now brings forth hope for the next generation to come."
McGonagall takes a moment to look out at all those who are gathered in the hall, and I swear that her eyes stop for a second longer on the four of us than the rest.
"This class of students have been through things that no other class of students have had to contend with before them. I am— proud to have called them my students, and I am positive that they will go out into the world and change it into a better place." She continues.
I feel a lump develop in my throat. I know that I'm not nervously waiting in anticipation like the rest of the students to finally be able to graduate and say goodbye to this place, but it almost feels as if she's talking to us too. The four who went missing for a whole year— to fight against a power that most were afraid to even mention.
No, we may not be moving on like the rest of our class, but in a way, I feel like we already have. I glance at my friends to see that Hermione has tears in her eyes, and that Ron's cheeks are slightly red. Harry has a hard and unreadable look in his eye, one that has taken up residence there often these days.
"I will ask you all to please help me in congratulating the graduating class of 1997!"
Fred and George are on their feet before anyone else even realizes that the students are beginning to stream into the Great Hall wearing brilliant robes of their house colors, instead of the usual Hogwarts black. I immediately spot my brother in a dashing sapphire clock that makes the blue of his eyes pop even from here. It takes me a moment to find Ariana, and my grin widens when I see her.
Her blond hair is actually a shade darker than the cloak of yellow that she's donning in support of house Hufflepuff. A wide smile is on her face, and when she spots me standing and applauding with all the rest she sinks a little wave and a wink my way. Neville looks handsome in his scarlet robes, and I see more than a few girls send flirtatious looks his way. What is most shocking is the glare that Luna sends at them.
I didn't even know that she could make a facial expression that mean, since all she ever seems to do is smile serenely. Fred and George are making as big a spectacle as they can much to Mum's dismay and Dad's amusement, by whistling and hollering good cheer into the air.
"I say you two are worse here than at home! Control yourselves this is not some Quidditch match you can yell yourself hoarse at, this is a graduation!" Mum cries smacking both of my brother in an attempt to get them to stop.
"Oh, come on Mum!" George cries dodging another hand.
"We didn't get to graduate ourselves so we have to show support to our little brother who is." Fred says letting out another piercing whistle. I can't help the smile that is still on my face from watching their antics.
"Embarrassing stories for the future, you've got to think ahead!" George adds solemnly before making a heart hand gesture at Luka only for him to turn almost as scarlet as the Gryffindor robes.
"Thank you! That is quite enough! Mr. and Mr. Weasley I may no longer be your professor but don't think that that doesn't mean that I won't put you in detention, with Mr. Filch." Headmistress McGonagall threatens and the twins both pale and silence immediately, before sinking down in their seats to the laughter of the kids that know them.
"Thank you. Now, the graduation of a class is a very time honored tradition here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. By completing all seven years of schooling and passing both your O.W.L.s and you N.E.W.T.s, you have achieved an outstanding level of education that has yet to be surpassed in the world. That is why I have faith that each and every one of you will make a difference through whatever path you may choose to pursue in your life. I do not say this often but— I am extremely proud of you."
The lump in my throat has grown to an even larger size for I notice her glance briefly once again at us in the crowd, before turning back to address the students.
"And now when I call forth your name please step forward to receive your scroll of graduation and completion from Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. Abbot, Hannah…"
I mechanically clap with all the rest of the crowd and students as I watch them be called up to receive their scroll from their house head with either a handshake or a hug from them before proceeding to shake hands with the Headmistress herself.
"Dumbledore, Ariana." I jump to my feet and applaud like crazy when my girlfriend's name is called, not even caring about the few confused and disgusted looks that I am receiving from some of the family members of students in the audience. Ariana has the biggest smile on her face as she hugs Professor Sprout tightly and gets her scroll before performing an almost hilariously solemn handshake with her grandmother before returning to her seat, but not before beaming me a radiant smile, which warms me to the core like usual.
I keep my eyes on her until I can no longer see her in the crowd of students when she sits back down. I tune out most of the other students until it comes to Neville, and I make a big fuss again seeing as how I am ridiculously proud that he has graduated school with such skill and quite frankly being extremely bad ass about it all. I could still remember all of the trouble that he had when he was younger with all of the spells and magic.
There is another lull in the participation but I perk up again when I begin to hear Parkinson, Pansy. Luka is going to be called up soon. A flash of disappointment shoots through me that I wasn't up there graduating with him, but I push it back down knowing the possibility of this ever happening.
"Pendragon, Luka." McGonagall calls, and I again leap to my feet with the rest of my family to applaud. Not even my parents are able to contain themselves this time. Fred and George are trying to outdo themselves with the amount of embarrassing things they are calling.
"That's our boy!" Fred cries pretending to wipe his eyes with a handkerchief.
"Our baby boy! How time flies, I remember when he was only yay high!" George says faking wiping his eyes.
Luka's cheeks are flaming red by the time he gets up to the front of the hall to receive his scroll from Professor Flitwick with an enthusiastic shake of the hand, before going to shake the Headmistress' hand as well. I don't think that I've ever seen my brother move that fast to be out of the spotlight before.
The rest of the ceremony goes by much fast now, since there are only a few students left and McGonagall is eyeing them all carefully, but I really know that she's proud. "Your time may be done here at Hogwarts, but I think that if this past year is anything to go by, that you will always have a place behind these walls, whether graduated— or not." She says flashing another meaningful look to us.
The hall erupts into cheerful pandemonium then. All of the students are hugging each other except for the Slytherins who still look like they would rather be anywhere but here with the brilliant emerald robes on. I can see tears running down Mum's face, and Dad lifts up his glasses to wipe away the evidence of a stray proud tear.
After another minute the students start streaming back to their parents so that they can share the proud, happy moment together. It doesn't take long for Luka and Ariana to find us before both of them are wrapped up into giant hugs by the parents. I glance around at my surrounding family and see worriedly that Harry and Ginny have somehow found their way to each other, and the tension is palpable between them.
Luckily before I can get too drawn into the soon to be conflict, a slightly disheveled Luka appears in front of me and for the first time in a while there is an actual genuine large smile on his face. "Congrats grad." I say with a smile of my own to match his. I quickly wrap my arms around my brother and hold him tightly. Flashes of the conversation we had a few nights ago play behind my closed eyes. The frankness in which we talked about Augustus and what happened with him. What it means for our family now that he's gone.
There are finally only two Pendragons left in the world, and both of them are standing in this room. It's a sobering thought for sure.
"You know, part of me never thought that I was ever going to live long enough to stand here." Luka says softly, and instantly my mood is taken down a few degrees. I guess that he's not as happy as I thought he was.
"But you did, and I'm proud of you." I tell him. A dark look flashes in his eyes before he forces a happier look on his face.
"Is it something to be proud of though?" He questions flicking his gaze down at his hands, before Fred pulls him away to tease him some more with George. I feel a shudder run down my spine at the implication of his words. Should we be proud that we are here after having so much blood on our hands?
"Hey, come back to me. Don't go where I can't follow." The soft words are familiar, and instantly my body relaxes as a hand is slipped into mine. Another bit of tension leaves, as fingers are laced with mine.
My eyes focus on the blonde hair in my vision and the scent of vanilla that seems to just emanate from her very person. Concerned brown eyes meet mine, and I finally feel myself firmly back in the present.
"S-sorry…" I stutter, trying to even out my breathing again.
"You don't have to apologize, you never have to apologize to me for this. I just don't like seeing you go through this alone." Ariana says pulling me into a light hug, and I nestle my face into her neck. I let the mane of golden hair hide me from the rest of the world, even if it's only for a little while.
"Congratulations. You're now officially an adult." I whisper, giving my girlfriend a light squeeze to let her know that I am still here, and happy for her. Despite everything else going on in my life, I can be good and try and be whole for the best thing in my life.
"Thank you. I don't think that I'm quite ready to take on the world yet, but we'll see. Whatever happens, we'll do it together." Ariana says, brushing a light kiss against my cheek, and I can't help the content sigh that slips past my lips. I'm not sure exactly how long we stand there, but after what feels like far too short of a time, Ariana draws back from me, and I see the reason why.
The new Headmistress has approached the group of us, and she still has a fairly stern look on her face. Surprisingly our large crowd silences when McGonagall arrives to talk to us.
"Hello Minerva." Dad says rather cheerily. She gives him a small smile in return, but I can tell that her attention is on Harry, Hermione, Ron, and me.
"So, am I to expect the four of you in September?" She asks. I feel whatever color that might have been left in my cheeks flee at the thought of going back to school.
"Of course, Profess— I mean Headmistress." Hermione says quickly, stumbling slightly over the status change. McGonagall looks pleased before turning her attention to the boys and me. Harry and Ron shuffle nervously in their spots, looking everywhere but at our former sternest professor.
"Of course, they will be! What else would they be doing?" Mum cries exasperated. I feel Ariana's hand in mine, and receive a supportive squeeze. I don't know if she even knows what I'm thinking, but it is enough to put my panicked mind at ease.
"No." I say simply, almost as shocked as the rest of them as it slips off my tongue. All is silent for a minute or two as I watch the red grow in my mother's face until she looks about the color of a muggle fire truck that I saw once.
"WHAT?"