Cosy in the Rocket
Nobody knows where they might end up. Nobody knows where they might wake up. A Grey's Anatomy/Scandal-inspired story about what happens when new developments threaten the love Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson believe they hold dear. Will they realize that they're barely holding on?
This story is set canon to 5x01. From there I take liberties with certain events in the timeline being included at my discretion (for example, Finn will die near the end of the 2012-13 school year and Blaine along with Kurt and Rachel {albeit in a limited fashion due to Funny Girl} will attend NYADA for the school year of 2013-14).
Disclaimer: I own nothing and stand to make no profit from this. All characters belong to their showrunners and storylines are their creative property.
Prologue: Simple Lies
Kurt
"I'm being beyond serious. I will never, ever, ever cheat on you again."
Kurt wanted to believe Blaine's seemingly heartfelt words. He wanted to believe that Blaine would never cheat on him; that aside from that momentary lapse in judgment Blaine was still the Prince Charming that rescued him from the loneliness and despair that had once eaten so much of him that he was unrecognizable. With every cell in his body Kurt wanted to just let himself be loved by Blaine, to once again feel the affection that Blaine had to offer. Kurt wished that could erase the nagging doubts that combined into huge waves of apprehension threatening to rise out of his mouth like bile. If only Kurt could let himself live the fairy tale he so wanted.
But Kurt knew fairy tales weren't real. The only thing real in this situation was the new outlook that Blaine's infidelity had taught him. Where Kurt had naively dreamt of passionate lovemaking in lilac fields, now he searched for the inevitable catch, always ready for the rug to be pulled out from under him. At least now his situation was not so bleak that naïve fantasies were the only suitable escape to sustain him. Now a proud, out gay man with talent and confidence, Kurt could see Blaine's words for what they were: words. Nothing concrete, nothing set in stone. Finally being able to see life for what it truly had to offer and knowing that he wouldn't break under the realization, Kurt could actually humor Blaine's pleas for reconciliation.
"I'm gonna need you to sign one of those non-cheating contracts," Kurt said cheerfully with a soft smile.
See, he could even be playful, going along with the song and dance he had set up in the event his theories about Blaine wanting him back were correct. For Kurt, he felt a huge sense of relief that their new development was firmly rooted in the now, a savory treat to enjoy in the present. Even Blaine's pending application to NYADA did not seem to be such a stumbling block: surely some time in the real world of dating and gay life away from the few opportunities of Lima would cure Blaine of his naïve fantasies. For now, they could carry on as they had, indulging each other while they could.
It was that simple.
Blaine
Blaine could barely contain his joy, he feared his wide, affably goofy grin would be permanently plastered on his face after the outcomes of his talk with Kurt. Since he had made that horrific mistake in October, Blaine felt a huge weight that he could not seem to shake off. And no matter how many good things he did with his unlikely savior turned best bro Sam, he could not rid himself of the notion that he had to make things right with Kurt.
Over the course of their relationship, Blaine had become attuned to just how much faith Kurt had placed in him. After all, the Kurt that Blaine first met in the Dalton commons was on the breaking point, disillusioned by the odds of his romantic dreams never coming true in any way, shape, or form. In their intimate moments, moments when the two sat with each other soaking up their connection, Blaine often noticed Kurt gazing at him with adoration, so much that it was almost tangible in Kurt's impossibly bright blue eyes.
In turn, Kurt's broken heart seemed to manifest itself physically in a similar manner. On the occasions in which Kurt could stomach Blaine's mere presence, Blaine saw certain weariness in Kurt's eyes and demeanor. Kurt did not want to be touched for too long than necessary, as if he dreaded intimate interaction. The more Blaine saw Kurt wear the same disillusion he had worn two years prior, the more his guilt increased. Always a showman, Blaine showed none of this to any of his fellow glee members. Except for Sam.
Strangely, the only thing that made the long winter days bearable was Sam's constant offer of friendship. Somehow they had bonded even after the admittedly rude comments Blaine had made about Sam's past during the previous year. Their interests had enough overlap to make conversation varied, interesting, and easy yet they had enough differences between them to offer things the other could not. Blaine introduced Sam to order and organization while Sam helped Blaine calm down by finding time to relax and stop worrying over things.
It was due to Sam's cool, laid-back personality that Blaine did not have to worry about his crush on Sam interfering with their friendship in the grand scheme of things. In fact, Blaine realized that since they had discussed Blaine's feelings, Sam felt it appropriate to pepper it in their conversations as if it was just a simple fact rather than a potential deal-breaker. Blaine marveled at Sam's ease with such a touchy subject. He resolved that whatever his outcome turned out to be with Kurt, he had to have Sam's good nature and friendship in his life.
Sam
Blaine was Sam's guy. Even though he already had a brother, whom he loved dearly, Sam felt a similar intensity concerning Blaine. More than any other friend he had ever made, Sam truly valued every word that came out of Blaine's mouth. Thus, Sam listened intently as Blaine cleared his throat in front of the assembled New Directions.
"So, as most of you know already, um, Kurt and I are officially back together," Blaine said with a determined pride.
Sam cheered along with the rest of the group, the intensity for Blaine bringing his hands together and putting a smile on his face. He was happy to see his best friend happy.
"I know, but what most of you don't know, and this is top secret, is that I'm going to ask Kurt to marry me."
Sam had indeed known the secret as he had found Blaine shopping for the engagement ring, rebuking him for the lack of invitation. But when Blaine placed a light, affectionate touch to Sam's shoulders as he settled himself and said the words, 'top secret', something felt odd within Sam. Not necessarily unwelcome, but off just the same. Sure, Blaine and Sam were quite comfortable with one another and thus rather tactile. But something about Blaine declaring his intentions for marriage to another man aroused something new in Sam. Sam did not dwell on it as he noticed the decided lack of an enthusiastic response to Blaine's announcement. Sam knew that as best friend and future best man, he had to do his duty.
"Yeah, guys, come on! Get up! Come on, guys! He's my best friend. Gay marriage good. It's good, it's good things. They're all happening so fast. Let's go!" Sam jumped up and faced his group with an energetic fist pump.
When Sam saw the slightly disapproving look in Blaine's eyes, he realized that his tone had been rather caustic. Internally, he swore to himself that he had not intended to sound biting, but something in him made it come out that way. Not wanting to argue with Blaine or do anything to upset him, Sam decided to make an effort to be more outwardly supportive, not only for Blaine's benefit, but also to avoid any awkwardness whatsoever.
As if there was anything to be awkward about. Later that evening, after he and Blaine had completed all the necessary preparations for Blaine's elaborate proposal, Sam sat on his bed, running his finger over the intricate patterns of the bedspread.
Blaine was his best friend and there was no one better than him, besides Blaine's parents, to question the haste of Blaine's decision. Sam had to admit to himself that he was comfortable with how things had turned out over the school year, he liked the attention he received from Blaine and he enjoyed showering him with attention too. It was okay for him to have doubts and reservations. It's not like he and Blaine were together and his feelings could potentially derail the wedding plans. Sam was straight and he was not looking for anything else with Blaine. If anything the new absence of Brittany was now affecting his thinking so that subconsciously his mind pushed his next most important person in the void she left. But that did not mean he was in love with Blaine.
It was that simple. Pleased with his rationale, Sam descended into a vivid slumber, dreaming of teenage boys with bowties and cool team adventures around the world.
Kurt
When he happened to see that Rachel Berry had checked herself into Lima on Facebook under the status update of 'doing something special,' it dawned on him that Blaine was proposing and had concocted some drawn-out plan, going as far to pull all the people near and dear to Kurt back into the fold like a magnet, just to see the 'happy couple' off on their first step toward the happy ending that Kurt had dreamt of.
As a teenager.
Kurt had connected the dots and with thorough social media scalping, he deduced just that. The only snag was that Kurt felt nowhere near comfortable with Blaine to even think of marriage or even being bound to him in such a relatively high profile setting. Adding to the madness, Kurt now found himself wanting an intimate proposal: something over candlelight, filled with soft laughter, mood lighting, and passionate lovemaking. By contrast, the prospect of a huge gathering of at least tens of people seemed really... the usually erudite Kurt could not even think of a word to describe his view of what he knew he was being driven to by his father.
Tacky. The word settled on him like a cloud, darkening his mind and thus his features in the form of a scowl.
"I know you're driving me to my surprise proposal."
Kurt was not surprised that his father only confirmed the destination. He was only surprised that his father kept his foot on the gas, scowling even more.
"You okay? You look like I'm driving you to your execution," Burt Hummel said with that familiar rugged brand of caring and earnestness.
"I can't tell. I mean, I really love Blaine, and He makes me feel so connected and safe and loved, and I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone else who's gonna make me feel like that...But we're both so young."
Kurt dared not be completely honest with his father about the state of his feelings for Blaine. Kurt knew that Burt appreciated Blaine's positive effect on Kurt even more than he did himself. Knowing how it would shatter Burt that Kurt was now emotionally jaded at such a tender age, Kurt had kept the details of his break-up with Blaine to a minimum. Kurt did not share anything regarding the gross infidelity that had occurred, instead being very vague.
"Your mom and I met when we were 22, and I asked her to marry me six months in. We were just kids. Yeah...it was really hard at first. You know, you go in with all these fantasies about what your life together is gonna be like: nothing but laughing and dancing around in your underwear, cooking pasta, and sex. A lot of sex. It's hard being married, though...it's hard enough being in your 20s."
That was just the problem with Blaine in Kurt's estimation. The entire spectacle seemed to be built on fantasy. Yet Kurt's life had not been a fantasy in the slightest sense. He had experienced the pain of facing his mother's death during his formative years. He and his father had emotionally avoided each other for the better part of a decade. Only the past four years had been anything close to good and even they were filled with tons of drama. Kurt had already tried placing his eggs of hope in Blaine's basket and he had no desire to be broken again.
"Do you wish you waited?"
"Not one second more. I wish I'd met her ten years earlier. I didn't know then that I was only going to get so much time with her, you know? That she was gonna leave us so soon.
I'd take 50 more years of late-night fights about, you know, me working late or the gas bill or her letting the milk go bad for just Ten more minutes with her next to me. We only get a few days when you come down to it, Kurt. You know that better than anyone."
Kurt took a moment to absorb the depth and wisdom in his loving father's words. The verbal near-mention of his late mother lay heavily on him as he pondered whether or not he was being unnecessarily harsh on Blaine. Sure, things would not be perfect. But Kurt had to admit that there was still a spark between the two.
"So relax. Hear what the guy has to say. I mean, all you gotta do is say yes, no, or maybe."
Burt's words rang in Kurt's ears loudly as Blaine met him at the Dalton entrance with a serenade. Kurt had to admit once his friends came into view the scope of Blaine's work. Maybe that would be a sign of good things to come.
Kurt allowed himself to be led to the staircase where so long ago, two people who looked the same if not shorter and more adolescent, had met.
Blaine began, "We met right here. I took this man's hand, and we ran down that hallway. And for those of you that know me, know I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before, but I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet. I knew that our hands were meant to hold each other, fearlessly and forever. Which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you; it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if in every lifetime that you and I have ever lived, we have chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime, because all I want to do, all-all I've ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you."
Kurt felt himself be moved by the beautiful words Blaine had strung together. All the good from his relationship with Blaine collected and washed over him. He felt enveloped and somewhat overwhelmed as he lost himself to the power and intensity of everything having to do with Blaine.
"So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love... will you marry me?"
The moment of truth had come. Burt's words about saying yes, no, or maybe rang again in his head and the prospect of his guttural response, a soft yet hopeful maybe, became real in his head.
Unfortunately Kurt took that moment to look around and take in the vast amount of people from his youth who had come together, pooling their resources, time, and spirit in producing all of this, just for him. For him to surely say yes. Kurt saw Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana, eagerly awaiting him to say yes. Nearby Blaine was Sam who too had his eyes on Kurt, though it was not beyond Kurt's perceptive eyes that Sam's expression was at once supportive yet tinged with something suggesting he was sad or even crestfallen. To Kurt's dismay, Finn (and his attachment of a best friend Puck, Kurt noted) was absent as well. Nothing more than guidance from the emergent leader of the New Directions and his loving stepbrother would have helped him make his decision.
Kurt's eyes settled on Blaine's huge, bright, hazel ones. Knowing that a romantic look would buy him at least another fleeting moment before he was expected to speak, Kurt skillfully wore his best poker face as he turned his answer over multiple times before coming to a conclusion.
He had to say yes.
He owed it to everyone there. He owed it to Blaine. He could give on an engagement. Suddenly the idea of a long, drawn out engagement was an absolute godsend. Perhaps after a few years, if things were not up to par for Kurt, they could easily fizzle out. Without the immediate hullabaloo to boot! All in a millisecond, Kurt made his decision. He committed to the part he had chosen.
"Yeah...Yeah."
A simple lie.
A/N: Hope that was okay. Future chapters should include far more action and less introspection. Just had to establish the scene! Reviews are lovely and so appreciated. Also, who wants to try guessing what couples I'm using as inspiration for this story from Grey's to Glee?