TEAM FORTRESS BELONGS TO VALVE
THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE ALL THE COMICS WERE RELEASED AND CONTAINS A FEW PERSONAL HEADCANONS
Irene, Minnie and Wilbur's family was fairly wide. They had at least six uncles, seven if they counted the wife of one of them, who only seemed to bring more and more children to the world, and those automatically became their cousins. Almost all of them came from different countries, so they didn't see each other very often. The parents of the Conagher siblings turned each birthday and holiday into an excuse to meet; Irene supposed, since she was old enough to feel interested about the world of the adults, that all families did it.
She had very different kind of uncles but there was one who really attracted his curiosity, and that was precisely the only distance uncle she had. Uncle Ludwig was a bit like God: she had never seen him in person but from time to time he showed he was there, looking after his nephew and nieces. Every birthday she and her little siblings got a package, sent from a changing location, which contained a present. These presents were a bit antiquated, typical of someone who didn't know children at all, nor the Conaghers nor the rest, but had good intention. The arrival of these packages was quite an event, even for their mother. Although it was true that her mother could feel enthusiastic about drying paint.
What made birthdays special, apart from the gifts from the mysterious uncle Ludwig, was their uncles and cousins' visit.
"Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!"
"What's up, precious? How big you are!"
Uncle Mun lifted Minnie and kissed her cheek. Wilbur was only two years old but not willing to be ignored, so, like a ducling, he approached his uncle and pulled his trouser leg as he made noises to attract his attention. It worked. Irene, on the other hand, was opening uncle Ludwig's package on the carpet and it was his uncle the one who had to go to her encounter.
"Happy birthday, darlin'. Got many gifts this year?"
"Yes. Look: uncle Ludwig sent me a book." Irene showed him. "The human body."
Uncle Mun smiled showing his teeth. He seemed to find something funny in that, which Irene couldn't see.
"Well, here you have another one. But be careful, don't hurt him."
Dell walked out of the kitchen when he heard the children's exclamations. He saw a circle of little heads around a small, fluffy animal so beautiful that the birthday girl forgot the rest of the presents in the drop of a pen. Even cousins Lincoln, Jeff and Washington, who didn't want to have anything to do with their obligatory cousins, came closer.
"Is that a dingo?" he asked his old friend.
"Was it a bad idea?" uncle Mun asked.
"Nah. It'll be good for us. We missed having a pet at home."
"I found it around, they killed his mother. I thought the kids would like it."
"You see they do. They're like mad."
They took the chance to greet each other properly, with a long embrace. After that, the two men got into the kitchen to meet the rest. The children were too excited with the new pet to listen the enthusiastic greetings from the adults.
"How should we call it?" Irene asked.
"Brisky!" Minnie suggested.
"That's an ugly name." Washington intervened. "Teddy's better. For Theodore Roosevelt."
"But Teddy's your little brother's name. I don't want to give him a baby's name." Irene replied.
"Name him Brisky!" Minnie insisted.
"Coco" Wilbur proposed, his voice barely audible in that crowd of older children.
"Hey, did you thank uncle Mun-Dee?" Lincoln asked then.
"Eh? No..." Irene replied.
Lincoln was the oldest of them all and knew lots of things, so it was normal that he found details which them, being younger, had never considered.
With a martial air he was imitating from his dad, Lincoln explained it to her:
"When a superior gives you a present or any other good stuff, you always have to thank them right away. And you salute them."
"Why the salute?"
"Because that's what men of honor do."
Well, that was the way things were. Irene didn't discuss it.
They would discuss the name matter later. She gave the puppy to Wilbur, so that he had the chance to caress it, and Irene walked into the kitchen. Adult field, the place where, before dinner, they drank beer, smoked and talked about things children didn't understand.
"I have no idea where the hell he is."
"He'll be fine. The two of them. I'm sure."
"The girl's reading's great, huh? I see she had a good teacher."
"She's very bright, yes. She likes reading a lot."
"What about mechanics? She likes it?"
"Minnie does. She always wants to help and has a lot of projects in mind. Irene doesn't seem very interested and Wilbur prefers to watch."
"Our Lincoln told us past Monday that he has decided to follow the military career."
"Well, going to a military school and being the son of a soldier..."
"He already knows how to shoot and last month he started exercising with his mother. He says he wants to be a captain before eighteen."
"His brothers do too."
"I saw your Lincoln's a little man."
"But when will you stop making children?"
"When it stops feeling good."
"I want to have lots of children. My mother and sisters say that too. They are glad, with the house full of voices and life."
"And when's your turn, Scout?"
"Me? I'm already surrounded by nephews, saturated; I have enough with them."
"Let him find a woman who stands him first, then let's speak of children."
"Hahahaha!"
"Those kids are stealing our jobs. I can see them."
"Nah. These won't have to live the same we did. Luckily."
"Yes."
The conversation was suddenly interrupted when Irene was noticed behind uncle Misha.
"Look who we have here. The birthday girl."
Instantly, those hands brightened and it stared to rain pinches on her cheeks and caresses. Her mother took her in her arms and gave her a tremendous kiss.
"Thanks for the present, uncle Mun," and it was followed by a military salute that made everyone laugh, specially proud uncle Jane.
"No problem, honey. Promise you'll take care of it?"
"Yes."
Irene couldn't even suspect that the day of her sixth birthday would be the last time she saw her uncles in a very long time.