Howdy doody all! We are back again. Just couldn't stay away, this is too much fun.

This time around, we will be giving each other word prompts and two characters from the Twilight series. What happens next is anybody's guess. The chapters won't be related to each other for the most part. This is a series of drabbles or one chappie thingymagingythingy things….take that as you will…..*snort* They may be short, long or hellalong….IDK? Oh we shall see, we shall see where the typyfingers take us.

Since ATS began the last writing adventure, it is my great pleasure to start the ball rolling on this one. ATS is also away for a bit, so I most likely will do the first few….s'all good…she'll catch up when she gets back home.

Without further ado….and with telling that SM owns it all, lock-stock and barrel, we've just invited the characters to jump on our page and have some goofy fun….I give you "Tales from Two Crypt Keepers" (kinda catchy no?...get it?...We are two…Crypts belong to vampires…ya..I thought it was funny….laugh anyway ok? It boosts our egos!)

OH….and please remember these are un-betaed….as in..nada…none…strictly rough draft stuff here….

Chapter One:

Emmett and Jasper: RED

"Dude….."

"What man?" Jasper met Emmett at the pub on the corner of Daily and Fifth Streets every Thursday night for the local game and "Thirsty Thursday." It had been their tradition since they were old enough to drink, and Edward was the only one who occasionally missed.

Tonight was one of those nights. Edward and Bella had just brought forth child number two, and they were currently being one happy family on the maternity floor at Seattle General.

"Oh man….dude….your hair…what the fu….?"

"What's your problem Em? My hair looks fine."

"No..have you seen it?...like lately?" Emmett's mouth was presently hanging low, tongue out like a Great Dane in the Phoenix sun.

"My hair is fine Emmett. Just how much have you had to drink already?" Jasper was starting to get peeved at his friend's lack of couth.

Emmett was a tell them like it is kind of guy. His verbal vomit was known city wide and he held nothing back…..ever.

"Jasper!" Emmett couldn't contain his laugh any longer and burst out, pointing to the top of Jasper's head. "Your hair …..dude….it's red."

Jasper frowned at Emmett and took a long gulp of his beer. "It's not red Emmett." He sneered. "It's copper penny."

"Oh man….no…Jas, that's red. Like rooster red….lobster red…Oh fuck…Ronald McDonald red….ya..that's what it is…here, smile…"

Jasper felt the flash of Emmett's camera blind his eyes momentarily.

"Emmett….knock it off man. This isn't funny. " The pair were starting to attract attention, and it wasn't good.

"How the hell did your blond girlie locks get this shade buddy?" Emmett reached up and fingered one of Jasper's curls.

"Alice."

"Why the fuck would you let her anywhere near your hair….and with that color...?" Emmett was still touching Jasper's hair, silently mesmerized.

"I'm her final project."

"I'd say she flunked dude."

"No…listen dimwit…she has to cause a problem and fix it to prove to her hair professor that she can handle anything thrown at her."

"Her hair professor?" Emmett dropped Jasper's hair and clamped his lips shut, trying desperately not to laugh again.

Jasper huffed and took another drink of beer. "Yes Emmett. Her hair professor."

"Is that like …um…the Nutty Professor?...cause dude…that is some seriously fucked up hair you got on that melon of yours."

"Damn it Em….would you just shut the fuck up and drink your beer so we can go?"

Emmett sat back on his bar stool, clearly chastised but still enjoying this little scenario. "Say no more bro…I get it…good pussy is hard to come by….I'd let Rosie dye my locks purple if she threatened to cut me off too."

Jasper could take no more, and punched Emmett in the shoulder, knocking him off the stool.

Emmett scrambled to get back on his seat and gave Jasper a funny look. "Jas….it's ok…you can tell me buddy…did she fuck up your hair and cut you off?...Oh my God…she cut you off, got pissed and then did that to your head didn't she….damn…women are so sneaky and shit…all the time with that secret code they have and then…this…" Emmett went on with his rant, Jasper trying to tune him out but got sucked into Emmett's verbal vortex.

The sound of Jasper's phone ringing broke up Emmett's monologue. "Hey baby…what's up?"

Emmett could hear Alice on the other side of Jasper's phone and she didn't sound mad, sneaky or upset. "What's up with Alic…"

"Shhh…." Jasper hit Emmett upside the head and bent to block out the noise of the bar, holding the phone closer to his ear.

"So baby…what's the matter, is everything okay?...ya?...well, good. I'm glad it worked out. And we can turn my hair back in two days?...the professor liked your theory?...great. Okay. …Ya, we're just about done here, then we are gonna grab a bite and go up to the hospital. You and Rose wanna meet us over at Brown's to eat?...sounds good. Ok…darlin' see you in five."

"Drink up Em…we gotta meet the girls at Brown's to eat supper." Jasper drained his beer mug and grabbed his jacket.

"So, she's not mad at you, she didn't hold out on you, there's nothing at all wrong….and you let her do that to your head?" Emmett was stunned. He sat there looking at Jasper eyes wide in disbelief.

"Yes Emmett. Nothing is wrong. She asked, I said yes, because I love her and want her to succeed. She does well on this final and Alice is well on her way to owning her own studio, which is what she wants. Why wouldn't I help her out? I love her man….now come on…we gotta go." Jasper walked away from Emmett and towards the door of the pub.

"HEY….wait a minute….." Emmett ran after Jasper, perplexed that Jasper would give away his man card for some pussy. "You love her?...like love her love her?"

"Yeah Em…I do." Jasper smiled a small, secret smile and unlocked the car doors, sliding into the driver's seat.

Emmett jumped in and buckled up, confused. "Dude…it's us…brothers above all else…no hoes…"

Jasper punched Emmett hard in the jaw and pulled out of the parking lot. "Don't ever call Alice that again Emmett. Rose may be a ho to you, but Alice is no ho….ever."

"Dude….you got it bad man….oh shit you got it bad." Emmett rubbed his jaw and smiled.

"Don't you love Rose?" Jasper was all man, but he loved his woman…and would make sure she had what she needed to succeed.

"Well…ya…but…man…."

"Well then act like it Em. Show her, make her see."

Emmett was silent the rest of the way to the diner, and through supper. Rose was worried a little, wondering what crawled up Em's brain and settled in.

TTCK~TTCK~TTCK~

"Oh….she's beautiful Bella." Rose was holding one brand new Emma in her arms and a squirmy Joey sat beside her, guarding his new sister.

"She is Rose. We are very fortunate." Bella looked at Edward, the love evident in her eyes and she settled back in the bed, content.

Edward kissed his wife's temple and grabbed Joey from Rose's side, tickling him as he sat down opposite her.

"Daeey….quit…I wanna see da baby."

"Let Rose have a turn Joey. She won't hurt Emma."

"But I's da big brover…It'sda is my job." Joey humphed and put his hands up in the air for emphasis.

"Plenty of time for you to guard baby Emma Joey. Let's let Rose and Alice have a turn right now okay?" Edward ruffled his son's hair and sat back, content as Bella was.

Emmett stood behind Rose and took it all in. Maybe you got it all wrong bro….maybe…shit…maybe handing your balls over to a woman isn't so bad….maybe she'll let you keep them sometimes…you know…joint custody…Jasper seems happy with his red hair….Edward couldn't get any happier today….maybe living alone isn't all it's cut out to be…..hmmm….

"Honey, you look deep in thought. What's the matter?" Rose leaned back and looked up at Emmett.

Emmett returned to the present and re joined the conversation. "Oh nothing Rose…just thinking."

Rose smiled up at him, and Emmett felt that pang that every man in love feels when he finally realizes it.

"Rose, can I ask you something?"

"Sure…are you okay Em?"

"Ya…I'm fine…but would you ever dye my hair red just to fix it again...or… put your foot down if I went fishing with the boys when we had a family dinner….or…would you make me go to bed when I felt like shit and had a fever but wanted a beer instead…or make me be in the delivery room if we ever had kids?"

"Is that what you want?"

Emmett looked at her a long time before answering. "Yeah Rose. I think I do…..I think I do."

Emmett leaned over and kissed the love of his life, realizing that red hair and cancelled nights with the boys could mean something good if you had someone to share them with.

"I want that too Emmett. I want that too."

"Just with you though. No one else right?"

"No one else Em. Only you."

Emmett smiled and looked at Jasper's red hair again. He hoped soon that Rose would screw up his hair in the name of love.

A/N

Ok…so here we are….Emmett learned a lil sumthin' sumpthin' bout love this time round no?

I may be flying solo for a few chapters…or maybe not…let's see what chappie two holds….and what words ATS texts me…..it's in her hands peeps.

XXOO

MW2