(author's note: this id dedicated to the fire emblem radiant dawn board on gfaqs. without them i wouldnt have had the inspiration to make this :D)
it is very cold in daein. this is a well known fact seeing as it was common (OR SHOULD I SAY AVERAGE) knowledge. But The Beauteous Mikaya, in all her Radiant (i STOLE this from that underserving game tirle!) glory, was not cold. she was not your AVERAGE person; her deliciousness protected her from any elements that would create any sor tof imperfection. but those AVERAGE joes (namely ike) were only AVERAGE men and couldnt stand the freezing cold. except the people from daein, this kind of cold was an AVERAGE day to them. so they decided to make a fire and cook steke on it.
"would you like some of this staek" said ike. he had a stupid grin and was making stupoid sounds with his dumb steroid abused and AERAGEvoice
"No, 'tis far too AVERAGE", said the Beauteous Mikaya, speaking in the new refined voice I have given her in order to properly represent her radiance.
"but it is guuuuuuud steak" said the AVERAGE ike stupidly. Mikaya kicked Ike in the face, sending the colossal, yet stupid giant tumbling backwards. suddenly the tent they wer einburst open and a fat silohoute stood in the door. he entered and suddenly said "MIKAYA! I SHALL HAVE YOUR VIRGINITY!" but suddenly a change went over him.
"I CANNOPT RAPE PERFECTION" he bellowed. suddenly he noticed ike on the floor, i the perfect positin to satisfy ghebs needs
"AVERAGE ONE! i gheb shall NOW SODOMIZE YOU" and he thurst his massive penis into ikes AVERAGE rear and ike utter a cry of arousal
"OH YOURE MUCH BETTER THEN SOREN" he said as gheb punded ike. Mikaya, too innocent to witness such a scene, departed the tent, leaving Ike to his fate.
THE END