It was quiet except for the occasional sound of a whirring ventilation fan deep within the bowels of the Bunker. Sam had been lying awake in his room for hours, his brain making futile attempts to reconcile the presence of God in his home with the years of struggle he and his brother had endured. He'd been nervous when Dean had dared to question God about his absence-not surprised, but afraid for his brother. Chuck/God seemed harmless, even amusing much of the time, but Sam sensed an aura about him; a power capable of the fierce wrath God was famous for. God had not punished Dean for questioning him, instead taking the time to explain his position, But Sam wanted, no NEEDED, more. After everything that Sam had done to start the Apocalypse, why was he spared? Once he was spared and then threw himself into the pit to stop what he started, why didn't God zap him out of there instead of leaving him to be tortured by Lucifer for over a century? And the recent dreams-his dad in the car and the visions to help him cure Amara's plague-was it Sam's fevered imagination or was it God speaking to him?
"Arghhhh !" Sam grunted in frustration as he sat up, swinging his legs onto the floor. Whiskey and his laptop were in the library. Maybe one could dull his thoughts and the other keep him occupied until he either drifted off to sleep or it was morning. He pulled on some socks to protect his feet from the chill of the Bunker floors and walked quietly down the hall. As soon as he reached the entrance to the library, he sensed someone had preceded him there.
"I've been waiting for you, Sam." Chuck/God sat on an overstuffed chair, a copy of Homer's Odyssey open on his lap.
"Uh, hello. I ,,,I don't want to disturb you," Grabbing the bottle of whiskey and his laptop, Sam gestured to the door, "I can just take this back to my room."
"Sam, I know you have questions."
The youngest Winchester turned back, a look of both longing and fear in his eyes. Sam sat across from God. "Then you know what they are". Leaning forward his voice cracked with emotion. "Why? Why spare me and then leave me to rot in the pit? "
God looked at Sam, his eyes full of sympathy. "You made some poor choices when you became aware of you power. I've seen that with humans time and time again. But, you were trying to achieve both revenge, and what you thought was a righteous ending. These are very human motivations. Somehow, your heart remained pure, and I had further plans for you, You had a need to redeem yourself and you came through."
Sam's eyes welled up as he poured down a shot of whiskey to steady himself. "And the pit?"
God ran his hand down his face. "Sam Winchester, I know what you endured. I know how hard it is for you to be faced with Lucifer again now, But, as I told your brother, I gave you all free will, and you made a choice. When Castiel tried to retrieve you and only brought back your body, I was saddened. But he did come through for you later and as I always knew you would, you managed to overcome your burdens." God smiled slightly and shook his head, "You and Dean- family can be a big pain in the ass, but the bond between you and your brother gives you both more strength than you can imagine."
Sam poured God a shot of whiskey and took another for himself. Both God and man leaned back into their chairs for a few quiet moments. Sam was the first to speak again.
"So, was it you? Did you speak to me in my dream? Were you giving me visions?"
God turned to Sam and his mouth curved upward to form a gentle smile. "When you believe and pray, you open the door to all sorts of possibilities, Sam. Your faith has given you some insights that others have missed."
Before Sam could respond, God rose and set down his glass. Stepping in front of Sam's chair, he patted the Winchester's shoulder lightly. "Time for a little nap. It's another thing that I have really enjoyed as Chuck."
God walked to the doorway, paused, and turned back, "You're a good son, Sam. I know you wonder if your blood is pure. The demon blood never overtook who you are. You have always been stronger than that."
As God disappeared down the hall, Sam wiped the wetness from his cheeks and turned off the nearby lamp. It wasn't long before he moved onto the couch, where Dean found him sleeping peacefully the next morning.