*clears throat* I would like to thank coffee. Much coffee. And my brain, for uninstalling sleep mode. Also paracetamol, gotta love that. All these factors came together to give you: shit. It's shit.
I don't get hungry in the mornings.
I am numb. My stomach is empty, my heart is empty and my tunic is empty. I breathe, in and out. The world is hazy, like living in someone else's dream. I am here.
I had a huge breakfast.
As the day goes on, they get more and more agitated with my presence. Firecrackers of pain shoot through my body at the contact. I breathe, in and out. The world is moving, like the dizziness I got when I spun, round and round for no reason at all as a child. I am here. I want to disappear.
I'm still full from lunch.
The sharp shots of life ebb out slowly, leaving a dull ache. By the time I am home and my father has his turn, my body is disconnected from my brain, moving slow, defensive, robotic movements of its own accord. I am here. I need to disappear.
This is Berk! Aren't you cold too?
The village and its chief have left their mark of hatred on my bones. Now it is my turn. I am numb. Everything is hazy and surreal. One last attempt at saviour, I drive the nearest sharp thing into my wrist. Life spreads like deadly poison through my numb body, filling the void inside my narrow frame for a few seconds before fading. I am here. Am I even worthy of disappearance?
I'm really tired.
The empty, numb haze keeping me walking fades, leaving raw pain scalding my soul. I collapse on my bed, focusing and refocusing on each bleeding wound in turn, finally settling on my empty stomach. I imagine each wound as a dark pit, carving space into my flesh. I add each one to my clear image of myself until my whole body disappears into darkness.
I am numb. I am empty. I am darkness. I am bleeding.
Today, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third will just... disappear.
Me? I'm fine.