The sun shone brightly through the window. I winced at it and hid in the sheets of my bed. Though I wasn't blinded by the sun anymore I could still feel its warmth. The house was quiet except for the noises of outside life. Compared to the outside world my house was a graveyard. No, it was worse than a graveyard ,even a graveyard has more life than this house. I rolled to the other side of the bed and stuck my face out of the sheets to face the clock. The glowing red numbers read "8:49a.m.". I laid there for about 15 minutes deciding if it was worth getting up. I decided to go back to sleep when...Grrrgul...my stomach growls.
"I guess it's time to get up then" I sighed. Unraveling myself from the covers I'm again met by the ever annoying sun. Using my hand to block the light from hitting my eyes I walk to the window.
"Why can't the sun burn up and die? Why can't it just fall into darkness like everything else?". I took the black curtains and pulled them over the window.
"What the hell makes it so frickin special?". I closed my eyes and sighed. These are just another of my idiotic ramblings. Giving human like prejudice to objects that don't have the slightest bit of animation or feeling. I don't know if I'm just that stubborn or stupid. It didn't matter. I walked downstairs to the kitchen. Cooking ramen was the only thing I really knew how to make and because of that simple fact it was practically the only thing I ate. The house was dark just the way I like it. Why in the hell did I even open the window upstairs. Oh I remember. It was the moon. Their was a full moon out last night. That's it I wanted to see the moon. It was beautiful against the black night. Unlike the sun the moon always seemed trapped. Forever trapped in darkness like me. The sun has never known the moon's pain. Just like nobody knows of mine. Because of the darkness that surrounds us ,they fear us and cluster around others who have never known darkness. Like the sun.
Shit, I'm doing it again. I shooked my head and sighed. That's when I heard the ramen boiling over. I rushed to turn it down. More than half the water had already boiled over the pot. Oh well. That's what I get for zoneing out. I finished making the ramen and silently ate it. After finishing I went up stairs to change clothes. I stared at the disgustingly orange jacket and pants I had to wear. Being that I'm an orphan I have to take whatever they give me. No matter the price to my dignity. I grumble a little as I put them on. I go to the bathroom and forced myself to stare at the hideous face reflected in the mirror. Ugh. I turn on the facet splashing the icy water to my face. Grabbing the nearest towel I quickly dry. Looking at the mirror again I see it was a waste of time. I still looked as bad as ever. Not even bothering to brush my hair I go out to the outside world. The brightness burning my eyes once more. Will my battle with the sun ever end?
I decided to just walk around town. I watch the children run around playing tag. Until of course they realize my presence and decide to move their little game elsewhere. Though I'm not being kicked and called sickening names anymore ,their eyes still contain an unnatural hate for me. But that's just fine. I don't need their love or concern. I stopped and watched one of the children fall and scrape his knee. Tears poured out faster than the blood could run down his knee. It wasn't anything serious just a minor flesh wound. But regardless the mother rushed to him as if to hear his dieing words. This was love wasn't it. To worry careless about someone like that. I laughed a little and continued walking. How could I want something like that. Something so natural and petty. I stopped again looking up into the sun. Nothing was loved more than the sun. With it's terrible bright light and it's ditsy happiness why was it I wanted to be like it. To be loved by all with no knowing of sorrow. Why did I want someone so human? A tear slid down my cheek ,but I ignored it and continued my walk. I know better than to shead tears for things that shall never be mine.
The next day my alarm goes off. Waking me from a good dream. The sun had been shallowed by the moon and everyone had been in panic. I just sat on the rooftop watching their dismay. Yep definitely a good dream. Today was the day we would be put into groups of three to meet our sensei. Wonder what dopes I'll get stuck with. I sit up and rub my eyes.
"I guess I better get ready" I sighed. I got dressed and went downstairs to attempt to make ramen again. This time without zoneing out. I am successful and proudly eat the ramen I didn't boil over. As I'm eating I try to recall the dream again. A sun dead and a world in chaos.Just the thought brought a smile to my face. But not all them were in dismay. I recall silhouette of someone standing behind the trees. Not watching the chaos in the streets ,but watching me. How come I didn't remember this before. Maybe my mind regard it as nothing of importance. And For all I know maybe it is ,but I still can't help wondering. Who was watching me? I turned to see the clock. Shit I got to go. I inhaled the rest of the ramen and ran out the door.
The sun was again as blinding as ever. As if mocking me and my irrational dream. I got there just in time. Everyone was talking about how excited they were. I took a seat in a middle row. Watching everyone talk and giggle about pointless things. Two girls were arguing about who was more worthy of Sasuke. Sasuke was a boy with raven hair and an aloof sense of being. He sat at the other end of the table ,leaving a seat between us. Girls always talked about how hott and awesome he is when the only thing they know about him is that his name is Sasuke. The two girls doing the arguing were Ino and Sakura. Ino was blonde and ditsy. Not to mention annoying. The other ,Sakura had pink hair and was extremely smart. Something I'm extremely not. And to tell the truth I sorta have a crush on her. I know its pointless to think that she could ever like me. Or even love me. I should know better than that. I can't be loved and even if I was it would be twisted. A twisted love of the beast and the harlot. How could I hope for something way beyond what I deserve. In any case even I succumb to such pathetic human emotions. I turned to look at Sakura. Her beautiful long hair. Its beautiful color like that of cherry blossoms which only made her name fit her ever more perfectly. She turned to look at me and I quickly turn and hid my face as I blushed. Then Sakura turned back to Ino saying now how completely weird and annoying I was. That's okay. Its better that you hate me anyway. Iruka stepped into class and told everyone to get into a seat. Ino and Sakura ran past me fighting over who gets to sit next to Sasuke.
"Sakura and Ino quit fighting! Ino find another seat!" Iruka shouted. Ino grumbled and found another seat. Sakura stuck her tongue out at her in victory. Iruka started calling out the groups. After a while he called out my name. I was to be put in a group with my crush and my crush's crush. Ironic isn't it. Course life always is. After Iruka left and we all stayed to wait to meet our new sensei. Sakura went back to talking to Ino. Gloating about how she won by being in a team with Sasuke even if it meant being in a team with me too. I looked from Sakura to Sasuke who hadn't seemed to move an inch. One of the most painful things in life is having the girl you like talk about the boy you wish you could be. I fell asleep waiting for our sensei ,Kakashi to come. Sakura smacked me in the back of head to wake me up. I rubbed my eyes and stood up when I saw a note on the table with my name on it. I quickly stuffed it into my pocket and followed Sakura ,Sasuke and the man I'm guessing to be Kakashi.He had brillantly white hair and wore his headband so that it covered one eye like a pirate.My sensei the pirate ninja. This day just gets better and better. He took us to a random place in the village and then we all sat down. He started asking questions like "What do you like?" ,"What do you dislike?" and the ever popular "What is your goal in life?". Everyone's anwsers seemed vague and stupid. This is what it sounds like Sasuke doesn't like anything and his only point in life is to kill some special somebody. Sakura likes sasuke and dislikes me. Kakashi's name is Kakashi. Wow that says alot. So I countered with my own set of idioticly vague answers.
"I like ramen...I dislike the three minute wait for it to cook...and my goal in life was to become Hokage". This sent Sakura into a hysteria of laughter. Kakashi sighed and shook his head. Probably wishing he had nothing to do with this three some. I wouldn't really blame him.
"Okay well we'll meet here again tomorrow team. But don't have any breakfest." Kakashi said. Sakura stopped laughing and looked at Kakashi.
"Ummm sensei why not?" Sakura asked him.
"Ohhh you'll see when you come tomorrow". Kakashi started walking away. Leaving us three together. Sakura turned to Sasuke.
"So...ummm...Sasuke want to work on our teamwork...or something...". Sakura's face turned red. Patentic.
"No" was all Sasuke said before walking away in a different direction than Kakashi. I looked at Sakura's crushed face.
"Ohhh why did I have to sound so stupid...Grrrr..."Sakura mumbled before turning to me with a completely pissed face.
"What Do You Want!?!". I turned away and sighed.
"Nothing. I was just leaving". I decided to go home. I was tired of outside life. I went upsides and layed on my bed. thinking about everything that happened today I remembered the not I'd found. I went digging through my pockets until I found it. It wasn't anything special just a folded up piece of paper with "Naruto" written neatly on it. Who would anyone write me? Carefully I unfolded it and read its contents.
Hold your head up gorgrous
Because their are people that
Would KILL to see you fall
Don't give those that have never
Felt pain that satifaction
Message me ,my lost lover
Near the Chi river
Leave it under the rose thorns
So only my eyes may read it
Kill my loniness and
I'll be your virgin suicide
signed: Forever Your Virgin Suicide
I must have read it a million times. It was beautiful and strange. Who was this "virgin suicide"? Why did she love me? Or at least why did she write that. It didn't make sense. One thing was for sure. If I wanted to find ou who this person was I would have to write back. I knew exactly where the Chi river was so that wouldn't be a problem. But how do I go about replying to a message like that. I sighed it was getting dark out already. I went to the window and opened the curtains. The moon was just slightly less full ,but regardless never lost an ounce of it's loveliness. Who ever this person was I bet you anything that she was looking at the moon. Thinking about it the same way I did. Only people who have felt pain can truely appreciate it's gothic nature.
"Goodnight my virgin suicide" and with that I closed the curtain.