This is a series of short stories about Grissom and how he copes with the fact that Sara's gone. Chapters won't be in a chronological order for now, as I don't really know where the story's going.

Spoiler: A line from Time of your Death. 'Men in love do stupid things'.

December 12

"This is nice," Catherine said, "Working together, I mean. It's been a while."

Grissom looked up from the pictures laid on his desk but didn't say anything.

Catherine was right, though; it had been a while since they'd worked together. He had purposefully avoided working with her, and the only reason he'd become involved in this murder investigation was because their DB was found in an area infested with insects.

But the truth was, she wasn't the only one he'd been avoiding lately. He'd decided he'd rather work solo than risk having his coworkers ask questions about Sara. He didn't want to talk about her. He didn't want to talk, period.

Now that Catherine had turned a concerned gaze in his direction, Gil knew what was coming.

"So, Gil," she said gently, "How are you holding up?"

"I've got a job and a house, and Sara's got neither," he replied curtly, "What do you think?"

Catherine took the rebuff calmly.

"Wow. That bad, huh?"

Grissom immediately regretted snapping at her.

"I'm sorry," he said reluctantly. "But it's not me you should be concerned about."

Catherine nodded.

"I suppose you're right," she conceded, "I should be telling Sara how sorry I am for not seeing her pain. But she's not here," she added reasonably. "You are. Look; me and the guys are worried about you. They know better than to ask, but -"

"- I know," Gil said abruptly. He held her gaze for a moment, then looked down.

Catherine hesitated. She didn't know what to say to ease his pain. There was nothing anyone could say.

"I'm sorry, Gil," she said quietly. "I can't imagine what you're going through." When he didn't respond, she said the only thing anyone could say under the circumstances, "She's going to come back. You know she will."

Grissom didn't acknowledge these words. Instead, he said something that had been haunting him ever since Sara left.

"I never told her I loved her." He said softly. He looked up, and for a moment, the pain he was feeling was evident in his eyes. "Never."

Catherine looked at him.

"Do you think it would have made any difference?"

Grissom shrugged slightly but didn't answer.

"I don't think it would have," she said thoughtfully. "There is something about Sara... Something that doesn't allow her to be happy. It's as if… I don't know. As if she doesn't feel she deserves to be loved. That's hard to live with, Gil. You got to give her some time."

Catherine looked curiously at him, "Is this why you waited so long to be in a relationship? Were you afraid that this was going to happen?"

Grissom shook his head. There were lots of reasons. He had his own baggage to deal with, after all. He didn't trust love; he didn't believe it could last... But the possibility of happiness was tempting. He knew he could be happy with Sara -he just didn't know for how long. The uncertainty kept bothering him, till one day he thought, 'Why not try and be happy for a few months at least?' And, as simple as that, he'd started a relationship with Sara.

He didn't kid himself; he didn't really think it would last. But after a few months of bliss, his skepticism started to crumble. He started to believe. Maybe they could be happy for a longer time, he thought. 'Maybe a year,' he thought.

After that first year, Grissom didn't doubt it anymore; he truly believed that what they had would last forever. He never saw Sara's unhappiness. No, that was not true; he did see it. He saw her pain but didn't do anything about it. He just thought that love would somehow make up for it. Blinded by love and his own happiness, he'd overlooked the evidence.

But Grissom didn't tell Catherine any of this. He merely shook his head.

"It's like you said once," he said, "'Men in love do stupid things'."

Catherine smiled a little painfully. She didn't like to hear him talk like this.

"You loved her, Gil," she said. "Do you regret that?"

Grissom looked down for a second, then at her.

"Not one bit," he said softly. And he smiled.

The End --- there'll be more stories but there won't be any continuity between them -except where indicated.