Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Yeah... that certain dumb game that ruined the Mario series, Nintendo, and eventually gaming as a whole turned 10 this year. God, do I feel old. Ech. On the flip side, the one actual good thing out of it is also ten, and it's a certain bone version of everyone's favorite overused Mario villain...
"Gwa! Ha! Ha!" Evilly laughed the evil King of the Koopas, Bowser, who was acting like his usual arrogant self as he was inside his most fabulous version of his castle, looming over his son, Bowser Junior, and the seven Koopalings. "Do you know what day it is?"
"The day you let me take over when you died for one full day?" Bowser Jr. interrupted as he held his paintbrush in his hands.
"NO!" Bowser bellowed as he breathed fire everywhere, placing his right hand on his forehead. "...it's the day that Dry Bowser was created and, uh... well..."
Silence in the glorious Bowser's Castle as fire burned on, lava emerged from the magma hardened ground, lightning cracked, thunder boomed, winds howled, and rain poured furiously, with Bowser and his elite squad at the highest point of his castle, which was filled to the brim with statues of, well, himself obviously.
"I thought he was older than you." Larry pointed out while wondering when his time would come.
"Like, much older." Lemmy added as he was juggling several small balls on his giant yellow ball.
""Yeah, what's the deal with you and him, anyway?" Roy added while adjusting his sunglasses.
"I like pudding!" Morton exclaimed for no reason whatsoever, blurting random nonsense out of his big mouth.
"Harrumph! I could be doing something more important, like ranting about old movies!" Wendy O remarked as she wanted to head to Wendy's today, focusing more on her rings that she likely stole from Sonic The Hedgehog.
"I wonder if I should try an experiment on old Dry Bowsy..." Iggy murmured as he licked his lips for some bizarre reason, his eyes bouncing about like pong balls.
"And as to why we should care about your dusty old bones?" Ludwig Von contested as he figured that Bowser and Dry Bowser were just one and the same, being quite unimpressed with this whole charade.
"ENOUGH!" Bowser bellowed angrily as the entire Koopa Kingdom shook, with the Koopalings falling on their shells as they struggled to get back up. "All I want is today to be good for Dry Bowser. And by good, I mean BAD. BOWSER BAD!"
"Err... your majesty, just where is he, anyway?" Kamek remarked as he was riding on his broomstick.
Bowser huffed as he brushed back his red hair. "Oh, he's hanging out with his girlfriend as usual."
Bowser Jr. growled as he got into his Junior Clown Car, shaking his head. "Girlfriend? Pah... if anyone should have that mushroom gal, it should be me..."
Meanwhile, with the boney relative of Bowser, he was indeed hanging out with Toadette, the two having finished up yet another undocumented adventure that no one will ever know about as they were wandering around the dusty Bone Dry Dunes.
"Boy! What a journey!" Toadette giggled as she did various poses, wearing her treasure tracker uniform. "We went up and down and all around, we rolled around at the speed of sound, and for one, I didn't poop my pants!"
"Riveting." Dry Bowser sarcastically remarked as he didn't need to know the last bit.
Toadette playfully blew a raspberry with her tongue as she twirled around, placing her hands on her face. "So, what's next mah boi?"
"A break, for one..." Dry Bowser grumbled as he was trying to put himself back together, missing several of his bones as he shook his head. "That last trip did a number on me..."
It was then that a piece of paper flew from the western direction, hitting Dry Bowser in the face as Toadette gasped.
"Oh my! A note!" Toadette exclaimed as she had the urge to use the restroom suddenly.
"Actually, it's a letter..." Dry Bowser corrected as he held the paper with both of his boney hands, "Although it appears to be a message. Dear pesky bonehead, come to the castle, we bake a big guy for you, WITH NO SURVIVORS." He groaned as he clenched his fists after crumbling the paper. "How long has it been since that scene came out?"
"My lemonade's about to come out, if you know what I mean." Toadette remarked as she held up a fresh clean diaper for no reason.
"...Right, I'm leaving you." Dry Bowser sighed as he shook his head, proceeding to head northward as he was suddenly gobbled up by Petey Piranha, who was resting in the sand for some reason.
Toadette farted loudly as she was in shock, her bassy butt blast of gas causing her to realize something important. "Oh no...! Dry Bowser's been eaten by Petey!" Standing there for a few seconds, she gasped again as she let out an even brassier tuba poot. "And I just remembered! I had a farting contest in seven minutes and fifty seconds! Oh my!" She then dashed as fast as she could, making the dusty canyon a bit more yellow than it already was.
But you're not here to read about Toadette. You're here to hear about Space Ghost's new talk show that airs Friday nights at eleven thirty, eastern standard time.
