Dear Authors,
I find it slightly disturbing that half of you want me to be addicted to drugs and /or alcohol. I find it even more distressing that most of you want me to be in a relationship with my twin brother, because we're not in a relationship. I mean, sure, sometimes we shower together, and yes, we share a bed, but what twins don't? And it's not 'twincestuous' for us to—say—share a kiss every now and then. Really, it's no big deal.
As for the drugs and the alcohol, I'm not addicted. At all. I don't even like to drink and I've never smoked or anything. Maybe you still don't believe me? You should. Really.
By the way, why do you all keep killing me off? Do you hate me that much? I mean, yes, I'd probably be miserable and WISH I was dead and have a panic attack or five and probably not be able to function anymore if something were to happen to him, but that doesn't mean I'd stop breathing. Note: that does not give you permission to test that theory.
Glad we got that covered.
Sincerely,
Kaoru Hitachiin
Author's Note: I know...I did it again. Oh well. Technically I did this one before I wrote 'Boredom' when I was sitting in advocasy for two hours bored out of my mind. So, here you go: one super-short one shot to tide you over till I get up the sequels to "A Wind Job' and 'An Afternoon Affair'. :D