No matter what he says
By Amanda aka MrsPunk/Snapemaniac
A/N: Inspired by my own blogentry, thoughts and feelings and a certain person who inspired to all of that.
So you can say he inspired this whole thing. J.
Disclaimer:Tsah! Like I said, I don't own the characters; if I did they wouldn't be dead!
The week had gone, and now school was over. This was the last time we'd be at Hogwarts; we had to celebrate. The four of us went to The Three Broomsticks to have a last butterbeer together for a while.
James was going on a short holiday with Lily, Peter was going to do something he was very secretive about and Sirius, well, I have no idea what Sirius is going to do.
We have been out on a few more dates; they were nice and all. We always end them with sex; it seems like that that's all we ever do. Have sex. It's not enough to build a relationship on, not the kind of relationship Sirius wants. I told him that I love him. I do but not in that way, I just love him as a friend. But I can't take it back, it'll break his heart. I don't want to break his heart, but I can't go on like this. I have to tell him.
- "Sirius?"
Sirius was laughing at something James had just said, and turned to face me.
- "Yes, Moony?"
- "Do you think we can go somewere to talk? In private."
Sirius looked worried and kind of sad; I think he knows what I want to talk about.
- "Yeah, sure."
We both get up out of our seats, I hear Sirius mutter something to James about going for a smoke and that we'll be right back. James just looks at us, and smiles. I try to smile back but fail. We walk a bit from the place and Sirius lights up a cigarette.
It's strangely enough cold outside even though it's summer; I wish I'd brought my jacket.
We sit down on a bench; Sirius tried to snuggle up to me. I move away from him, and stand up.
- "What's wrong, Moony?"
I sigh, and try to get up the courage to tell him.
- "I'm sorry, Padfoot."
- "What for? Moony, what are you talking about?"
He looks very nervous now, and I think I can see tears forming in his eyes. But I have to do it.
- "Remember when you asked if I loved you?"
- "Yeah..."
- "Well, I do. But not in the way you love me. I love you as a friend. A friend, and nothing more."
Tears are falling down his cheeks; he drops the cigarette to the ground and puts his head in his hands. He sobs quietly, and I remain standing.
- "I'm sorry, Padfoot. But I couldn't let this go on any longer. I hope we can still be friends, but I understand if you never want to see me again."
He mumbles something into his hands, but I can't make it out.
- "Sorry?"
He looks up, but not at me. His eyes are slightly swollen, and his cheeks are red.
- "Why would I?"
- "Why would you what?"
- "Why would I never want to see you again?"
- "Because of this, because I lied and ... everything."
- "Remus, you're my best friend, I don't want to lose you. Sure it hurts that you don't love me the way I love you, but it doesn't matter. Not in the big picture. I can always find someone else to love, but I can never find another best friend. Not a best friend that could match up to you, any way."
- "So, we stay friends?"
- "Yes. Just one question though, and please don't hate me for asking."
- "What?"
- "Can we still continue the sex part?"
This took me aback. He was okay with me not loving him, but wants to still have sex?
- "I mean, the sex is great and it's more fun to have sex with someone other than youself, right?"
- "Right, but do you think it's such a good idea?"
- "Yes, I do. I can't see why we shouldn't continue the sex; there doesn't have to be love involved in having sex. It can be just passion and fun."
- "But still..."
- "Remus, I'll be okay. It sucks that you don't love me, but it will ease the pain if we continue to sleep together."
- "Or it will make it worse."
- "Then that's my problem, not yours."
- "But you're my best friend, so it will become my problem."
- "No, it won't. You know what? Let's just forget the whole thing about me being in love and you not, and just stay friends and have sex."
He get up from the bench, and walks towards me. He kisses me roughly on the lips, and then he smiles and walks to The Three Broomsticks.
Stay friends and have sex; and forget his love? Is that ever going to work out?
I'll try it, but if I feel that it's hurting him, it has to stop no matter what he says.
The End
So…what do you guys think? You asked me for a sequel with Remus POV.
It's weirder to write from his POV, it felt wrong.
Please review :D and I'll love you eternally.