Disclaimer: Fan made by fans for fans. I do not own these characters; JK Rowling does. Please don't sue.
Summary: Why no one wants to play Truth or Dare with Draco Malfoy.
Not Another Game of Truth Or Dare…
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Fifteen year old Draco Malfoy scowled as he plopped himself down onto the green sofa in the Slytherin common room. He was restless, annoyed, and wanted something to do. Suddenly, the best idea in the world popped into his head! He happily announced to everyone in the room, "Let's play Truth or Dare!"
A few people shook their heads and groaned. The rest quickly fled the room. Not in terror, mind you; they were Slytherins and had their reputations to maintain, but flee they did. No one ever wants to play Truth or Dare with Draco Malfoy.
"What?" the blond boy said petulantly. "It's a fun game!"
"Not when you play," Blaise told him, looking up from his and Theo's game of wizard chess.
"Excuse me? I always come up with the best dares!" Draco snarled.
"For everyone else. When it's your turn, you argue your way out of the question AND the dare, even on the EASY ones. The game's fun. You're not," explained Theo.
"I am SO fun," Draco retorted.
"Last time you wouldn't even sing 'Happy Birthday!'" Blaise cried out.
"Not on top of the table in my knickers!"
"See. You're still arguing about it," Theo said. "There's no point in playing with you. 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.'"
"Excuse me?"
"It's a muggle saying. It means, if you can't answer the question or do the dare, then don't play the game."
"But I'm bored! I want to do something," Draco said sullenly.
"Go bother someone in the library," Theo suggested.
"Madam Pince already kicked me out."
"Go do something with Vince and Greg," proposed Blaise.
"They're in detention."
"Go to your room and knit," Theo said sarcastically, exasperated by the whole conversation.
"What's 'knit'?" Draco asked with a perplexed look on his face.
Theo did his best to NOT slap his palm to his forehead in frustration.
"Fine!" Blaise spat out with an irritated look. "We'll play, but only if you do this dare first."
"What dare…" Draco said warily, unsure if he should accept the dare or not.
"You have to find Granger and snog her."
"Hell no! I won't dirty myself by touching that mudblood, screw snogging her!" the pureblooded wizard said, with disgust in his voice.
"Then snog the Weasley girl," Blaise suggested.
"No way. Blood traitors are just as bad as mudbloods."
"What about Lovegood?"
"She's mad!"
"Abbott."
"She's a Hufflepuff," scoffed Draco.
"What about Millicent?"
"She's ugly!"
"You can't say 'No' to Pansy, you went to the Yule ball with her," Blaise said.
"I'm not snogging Pansy, she's Pansy! She'll think we're going out or something."
"Dammit Draco, snog Theo then!"
"Oh Hell No!" Theo and Draco exclaimed together.
"So let me get this straight. You won't snog anyone that's muggleborn, or is sympathic to muggleborns, or is mental, or in Hufflepuff, or is ugly, or is Pansy, or thinks like Pansy, or is a guy," clarified Blaise, counting each offense with his fingers. "You'll only snog pretty, pureblood girls that don't annoy you."
"Yes."
"No one in the ENTIRE SCHOOL fits that criteria, Draco!" screamed Blaise. He'd gone past annoyed and straight to enraged, flailing his arms about him like a crazy person and knocking over the chess game. "You're never gonna get married, much less get LAID with those standards! And this is just a DARE, it's not a wedding!"
"So we're not gonna play 'Truth or Dare' then?" Draco asked, with a confused expression.
"ARGH!" Blaise screamed before storming out of the room, muttering something about bloody stupid arrogant gits.
"So," Draco said to a groaning Theo, "What's this 'knit' you mentioned earlier?"
Wearily, Theo dropped his head into his hands before replying, "Go ask Granger."