"Welcome back to So Random!"

The announcement boomed across the stage, accompanied by the usual theme music. Grady and Nico entered downstage right, dressed as girls, through the 'door' of the girl's bathroom set.

"Oh. My. GAWD. Did you see Jessica Parker today?" Grady exclaimed in his best falsetto.

"Yeah, she-" Nico was interrupted as I, dressed as Jessica Parker made my entrance and scurried into the furthest of the four stalls. I faced the door and listened for my next cue. There was a small movement behind me.

I glanced towards it and did a double take. Chad was sitting curled up on the toilet seat. In his underwear. He shrugged helplessly.

"Hey Sonny," he said, as nonchalant as a person about to be caught hiding on a live TV show in their boxers could possibly be.

Many thoughts cycled through my mind. I covered my radio-mic and went with the most appropriate of them.

"What the fuck Chad?" I hissed, under the laughter of the audience.

"I… um…" he mumbled staring at the ground. "This is your fault Monroe."

"My fault!? I haven't seen you all day."

"Yeah, your fault!"

"Really Chad, really?"

There were flushes and then cheers as Tawni and Zora, playing the bad girls with the hearts of gold, exited the stalls next to us.

"Whatever. You have about two minutes to get from this stall to the one at the other end without anyone noticing you. I gotta go."

There was the sound of another flush and I left the stall, careful not to open the door too far and expose Chad to the world. I wanted to keep that vision to myself for as long as possible.

I scurried to the sinks, my mind only half on acting like a nerd, the other half on Chad's glorious abs.

"Oh. My. GAWD. Jasmine! Gurl," Nico started.

"It's Jessica actually," I mumbled, to the sound of laughter from the audience. Nico getting everyone's name wrong was a running gag.

The inspiration for that joke's head appeared over the top of the stall. Alarmed, I made 'go away' eyes at him, and tried to will him to go under the stall walls, rather than over them. He clearly misunderstood and looked flattered for a moment, seemed to realize he was seconds away from being caught and ducked back down. I breathed again. Luckily, my character was more of a nervous looking prop piece in this anyway.

I waited anxiously as Grady and Nico got what was coming to them and stormed offstage crying hysterically.

Zora and Tawni began to deliver their lines, while sizing me up.

All of a sudden, apparently of its own accord, the door to the second closest cubicle swung open with a bang. Everyone stopped for half a second to watch it. I froze. Chad showing up in his underwear now would make no sense with this sketch and ruin the show. It probably would be funny though.

He wasn't inside. I tried not to show my relief, or my little bit of disappointment – after all, it probably would make it our highest rated episode of all time. Fortunately, Tawni and Zora were professionals and soldiered on.

Tawni gave me a dress and a snarky comment. Time for a makeover. You know, maybe this sketch was a bit of a cliché. I waltzed to the closest stall, opened the door a crack and slid inside, only a little tempted to expose Chad.

I threw the dress at him, pulled the sweater vest off over my head and dropped my pants to the floor – leaving me in a bra and panties. Desperately trying not to laugh out loud at his gobsmacked expression, I grabbed the dress off of him, and slid it on. I motioned at him and he quickly did up the zipper. His fingers accidentally brushed the small of my back and the skin tingled. There was a weird twisty sensation somewhere around my navel.

Ignoring it and him, I grinned, and exited less than ten seconds after I'd entered.

Back by the sinks, all that was left was for Jessica to be accepted as one of the gang and the bad girls to do their team handshake. We headed back to the stalls, and with the slamming of three doors, the sketch was over.

The stage lights went dark, and there was a gentle shudder as the set began to be rolled away, myself and Chad still inside.

Chad stood up. We were standing uncomfortably close.

"Back in a minute," I whispered.

I just about heard him tell me to hurry as I fled for my sanity across the still moving set.

My mind whirled as I headed for Nico and Grady's dressing room. Mostly I just thought about his abs though. And his eyes. His abs and his eyes. And his butt. His abs and his eyes and his butt. And his- I shook myself out of it. Now was not the time. There wasn't going to be a time. Well, never would be the time. Never in a million billion years would I, Sonny Monroe, think about Chad Dylan Cooper's abs. Or his eyes. Or his butt. But really not about his abs. Definitely not. Did he have to make it so difficult though?

I skidded 'round the corner, stumbled through the door, and flicked on the lights to Grady and Nico's dressing room. I was hit with an overwhelming smell of boy. A gaming system took up at least half the floorspace. Half eaten burritos and slices of pizza were scattered around the tables. I picked my way around the hoodies and comic books that were flung across the floor.

Reaching into Nico's closet, I grabbed the first things that came to hand; a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. I'm pretty sure I'd never seen Chad in anything so casual. I smiled as I raced back to the stage. It would be a new experience for him then.

Back on the soundstage, I ducked behind a giant slide from the playground sketch to hide from the lighting guy. Greg, I think his name was. He's new.

I didn't have a lot of time before I had to be on for the signoff, so I just tossed the clothes over the top of the cubicle door and kept going. I swear I heard a "thanks". Must have been my imagination. Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't thank people.

"Sonny! Where were you?" Tawni whisper-shouted as I slid into place just in time.

"Later," I mouthed as the curtain swung back to reveal an over-enthusiastic audience. I sometimes kind of wonder what it would be like to do ordinary stand-up comedy – to people who weren't already fans.

"Well, that's our show everybody! Goodnight," Zora shouted over thunderous applause. That never got old. This episode seemed to have gone down particularly well.

"Annnd we're off. Good job everybody," called the stage manager. The house lights flickered on, illuminating the audience and backstage.

I glanced off to the side. Chad stood watching in the wings, still in Nico's clothes. He saw me looking and scurried off. Not like I cared anyway.

My castmates and Marshall were clustered on the stage, doing their usual post-show comparing notes.

"That banana peel joke went down well," I said to Grady.

"Yeah, it was really good. What about that toilet door?" Nico asked. "The noise nearly ruined the sketch."

"The sound guys handled it well, I think. Things like that are why we have the eight-second delay," Marshall commented. "I'll talk to set design and see can we get it sorted. We might reuse the set someday. Anyone see what happened to it?"

I shook my head violently. No one must ever know.

"Icecream?" I loudly asked the assembled masses.

"Icecream!" everyone responded, and we charged off to the cafeteria as a group, chattering and gathering crew member and extras as we went.

"So," said Tawni, "Where did you disappear to earlier?"

I cleared my throat.

"You were great. That 'Secret Life of the Girls' Bathroom' sketch was hilarious," I told her as we walked. With Tawni, if in doubt, flattery will get you everywhere. Ew. You know what I mean.

"Amn't I always? But I thought it was a little flat. Anyway, don't change the subject," she replied, flipping her hair.

"It was definitely funnier than you think," I smiled, mostly at myself.

We headed past the turn off to the dressing rooms, and I glimpsed Chad hanging around outside ours.

"I'll catch up," I said.

She stared after me for a second, then followed on with the others.