In this place, Merlin felt magic from everywhere. From the walls, from the air. This tunnel was full of magic, it made him dizzy, he had never felt something like this before. Maybe a little bit of the Isle of Blessed, when He stood against Nimueh, the creature of the old religion. Merlin shook his head, trying to focus on the task. They were on the mission, they have to check what is on the other side of this tunnel, some people say that it ends in Essetir. It could be useful as well as dangerous if Lot find out about it, but Merlin thought that nobody normal would send his man via this tunnel... it made him creeps, but Arthur was stubborn to check this. He took only him and Gwaine, the small team. If the exit is on the Essetir, they don't want to be noticed, so mission undercover.
- Remind me, why are we here again? - Gwaine moaned unhappily, he knew why they were here, but he had to grumble.
- We have to check... - Arthur started but then Merlin spoke too.
- Did you hear that? - He turned, checking the road behind him. He was sure he heard something, like... wind? But how that was possible. They were underground, and there was no end of this tunnel.
- What? - Arthur asked and looked at his servant.
Merlin didn't have a chance to answer, because they all heard this hum, it was more intensive than before.
- I don't like it. There was no draft before - Gwaine said.
- Don't you say?! - Arthur exclaimed.
The place became lighter after that, that there was no need of using a torch. Magic, without a doubt. Merlin felt this like a punch in the face. The wasn't used to feel so many magic, every stronger magic artifact, or thing made him feel like he was punched. Merlin tried to pretend that everything is normal, what was not hard, because Gwaine and Arthur were too busy to shitting in their pants. Merlin knew that they are scared of magic, they didn't have to show it, but Merlin knew. They walked forward and finally, they saw the locked gate, which blocked the pass. Gwaine was trying to open the gate but without any result.
- They are magical... you can open it without sacrifice. - unknown feminine said.
They all looked around, looking for the source of this voice, finally, they saw... a ghost? on the other side of the gate. It looked like a young woman but was half-transparent and little blue. She or It looked at them and smiled kindly.
- Sacrifice? You mean... - Arthur started, he was thinking probably about life sacrifice. After Dorocha, he probably thought that every sacrifice in old religion was bloody. The creature shook her... head.
- No, no no... please. I'm not bloodthirsty. - she was terrified, that they could think of her in this way. - No many people last time walk this path, I guess that knowledge about it was lost. - she said. - You are walking by the Path of Secrets, I'm the guardian of this road. - she announced.
- Path of Secrets? That's quite a lame name. - Gwaine smiled and took a pitiable look from Arthur, who started to talk with this creature.
- What do you want? - Arthur asked.
- Everybody who wants to walk this path must tell one of his secrets in front of his companions. No man can walk here alone. The secret must be revealed, then I can open the gate for this one person. - she explained.
- Who made that rule? - Gwaine asked with discontent.
- It was made a long time ago, the names won't tell you anything. - she replied.
- So... we don't have secrets between each other, right? - Arthur asked, but he did not believe in it himself. Merlin probably didn't have any secrets, he can't keep nothing in secret, but he was not sure about Gwaine, he probably had something, but Arthur didn't think that was something important. Merlin became white as a sheet. Please, don't ask about my magic... please don't ask about my magic. He had so many secrets, he was terrified that Arthur finds out about this in such a situation.
- Sir Gwaine... house of... - She said, but she stopped in the middle. - Tell me about your father and your mother, tell me about yours disgust to the nobility... - she said with a smile. Gwaine's face became like stone. He knew that Merlin knew about this, but Arthur... he didn't know about that he is noble in Caerleon. Arthur looked at his knight with a strange mix of feelings, he didn't know yet what is going on.
- You are asking about things you already know, my lady. - He said it with the seriousness which was not like him.
- Yes, but one of your friends doesn't know about it. - She answered with a calm, almost empty voice.
- Well... - he smirked and looked at Merlin and Arthur. - One Commoner-knight less. - He said, but before somebody say something, he turned in ghost direction and...
- My father was a knight in Caerleon's army. - He said and swallowed the lump in his throat. Arthur reacted quickly with a simple "WHAT?", but Gwaine ignored this for this moment because the spirit demanded more information.
- He died in the fights when my mother came to Caerleon asking about help, he refused, leaving me, my younger sister and my mother penniless. I don't know how my father could serve that kind of man, who left the widow and her children in that situation. I hated him, I think that I do that still. It was easy to start hating all nobility. I thought all nobles were blinded by power and greed. It was hard, I and my mother had to work hard to sister. - he told the story of his life, looking at that half-transparent woman, he preferred to look at her, then seeing Arthur's face now. He was silent, but Gwaine knew that he is hurt, that he didn't tell him. Arthur realized, that the spirit said "one of your friends"... so Merlin knew. He looked at his servant, Merlin looked down, that was his answer.
- When I met Arthur, my views changed a little bit. - he shrugged, trying to humor Arthur.
- Don't make up. We'll talk about this later. - Arthur said, trying to keep calm.
- Very Well... You can pass, Sir Gwaine. - She said and stepped away from the gate. Gwaine looked at Merlin and Arthur, and he passed by the gate, which closed behind him as soon as possible. Then the spirit looked at Arthur with a little smile.
- King Arthur Pendragon. There are two groups of people, one of them believes that you are your father's son, and others think, that you will not be despot as your Father was, that you will be a great king, maybe even the Greatest of them all. - She said, looking at him. Arthur didn't know what he should say. His father was not a despot... but his attention was more focused by beginning "the greatest of them all". Really somebody has so many faith in Arthur? That was impossible. He was trying, but he knew that he could be better. He was still trying to be better.
- But there is one thing, that could destroy the opinion of this second one. Tell me about time, when you behaved like your father... tell me about Druid's Camp. - She announced.
Arthur swallowed, he felt looks on him, Merlin's and Gwaine's. He became speechless, he didn't know how he should start, he didn't know how to say about it. How could he tell about it? At first, he wanted to say, that he will not answer that, but he knew that now, they will be asking about this, there was no escape from the past.
- I was... young. That was my first mission where I was the leader of the team. I-I..-I wanted to please my father, to make him proud. - he started. Merlin was afraid of what he will hear next, made Uther proud did not mean anything good.
- I decided to attack the druid's camp. - he said with guilt in his voice. - I told my man to spear woman and children... but they didn't listen to me. I was paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. - his voice was shivering. - That was a slaughter. - he concluded and took a deep breath. He heard that Merlin stepped back. Arthur looked down, he felt ashamed and guilty. That was his order, his fault.
- I still hear this screams in my nightmares. - he added.
The guardian looked at him with compassion, he did not expect that. Merlin... was shocked. He didn't expect something like this for a second he really was thinking that Arthur could be like his father, that was terrible, but Arthur felt guilty, that feeling is something that Uther had never known. He even blamed magic for killing his wife and it was him who had made deal with Nimueh.
- We all made mistakes, which made us who we are. - She said. - You can pass. - She added, then Arthur passed by the gate, which locked behind him as before. He looked at Gwaine, looking for this 'disgust for nobility', but Gwaine only patted his shoulder, he said nothing and Arthur didn't know what he was feeling now. Both of them looked at Merlin, who was left alone on that side of the gate.
- Come on, Merlin can't have any secret, he can't keep anything in secret. - Arthur told her, hoping that his words are true, he didn't know if he wanted to hear another secret of somebody close to him.
- Servants always have some secrets. - She said and looked at Merlin with respect, that Arthur and Gwaine couldn't see, because they stood behind her. She recognized him as Emrys, but even Emrys must respect the rules of the Old Religion.
- The most loyal servant in Camelot, you follow Arthur everywhere, you are not a knight or warrior, but you always with him, at his side. - She started as always, some kind of introduction. Arthur looked at Merlin with some fear in his eyes. She was telling what he is loyal if this means that she will ask about something that could undermine it? Merlin hadn't been able to betray him. Merlin was scared, he couldn't hide that. He begged in his mind she does not ask about his magic. - Tell me about time, when you wanted to left Arthur and all Camelot behind you, tell me about Freya. - She looked at him. Arthur felt relief, he knew that Merlin wanted to leave when Ealdor was attacked... but then he heard about Freya? Who the hell was Freya?
- Merlin had a secret lover and wanted to run away with her? - Gwaine said and later he whistled. On Merlin's face showed up a sad smile. He asked not to ask about his magic... but Freya was no story, which he wanted to share with others from... different reasons. It was still painful, even after all these years. Maybe if he runs with her, maybe they would say that they don't fit each other, or maybe they would be the happiest couple in Camelot, maybe this was the only infatuation, or maybe this was love? He will never find out because she was dead. They didn't have even chance to try, and now he can only think about her... his heart still belongs to Freya.
- More or less... I was in love with her. We wanted to run away, we had our dream place to live. But... nothing came of it. - He told them, trying to hide some things, he knew that the guardian will ask about details, but he really didn't want to talk about this. She looked at him, Merlin sighed.
- Freya was a druid girl, captured by a bounty hunter. She looked so... poor. She was dirty, wore a torn dress, but still, she was beautiful. I... helped her escape. - he admitted and looked at Arthur and Gwaine. This second one looked proud, like an older brother when he finds out that his younger have a girl. Arthur was... surprised? angry? This time it was so hard to learn something from his face. - I stole for her Arthur's food and Morgana's dresses. Two times I was caught. - Merlin laughed short, but that was a sad laugh. - I don't know how Gwen believed in that story about moths... - Merlin smiled, but in his eyes was a pain. Freya made him thief... no, he made thief himself, for her. For her, he could steal all Camelot.
- I thought that she was caught because of magic, I grow up in Essetir. There, magic is no such problem... but I was wrong. Once, she was attacked by some thug, she... killed him in self-defense. But his mother was a sorceress, she cursed Freya to kill forever. Each night she was changing into a monster... a bastet. - He continued the story, looking at the Guardian, who nodded. He didn't look at Arthur, he didn't know if he realized what happened next.
- She wanted to tell me, she told me that she is cursed, but I misunderstand that. We planned to run away... but she didn't want me to abandon my life in Camelot for her. She tried to run away alone... and she changed in front of knights of Camelot whose were hunting at her. She ran away, but she was wounded. In her bastet form it wasn't much, but when she changed into a human, the wound became mortal. I... learned from Gaius may things, but I couldn't save her. I took her to the lake, there is so beautiful mountain view... like in the place we dreamed. She died in my arms. - He finally finished the story, with tears in his eyes. He still didn't look at them, he just couldn't. He looked at the ghost, he hoped that he will be free to go, he had enough.
Arthur passed my many different feelings during that story. He was angry, that Merlin helped to run away from the prisoner. He was hurt that Merlin hadn't told him, he felt pity for this girl, she was innocent in some way... then he realized, who attacked the bastet... it was him. He always thought that this monster ran away, but when Merlin said that wound was mortal. He felt crashed. Did he kill Merlin's love? How... how could he be still at his side after all of this.
Gwaine felt compassion for Merlin. He really deserved some happiness in his life. He was a good friend, for him as well for Arthur (despite the fact, that King will never admit this). He is so loyal, he went after Arthur to Elmet! Nobody goes there from free will, but Merlin was too selfless to let his friend go alone. He really deserved some nice girl and house by the lake with this mountain view.
- Last one question... who killed Freya? - She asked. Merlin closed his eyes and felt like one tear escaped from his eye, and ran down his face. He looked after a few seconds at the spirit and sighed hard.
- Arthur. - He answered.
- You are allowed to pass, Merlin. You are the most forgiving person I ever met. - she said, and Merlin passed by the gate, and without a word, he went first into the tunnel, he didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever.